Once rush hour has passed and the busyness in the diner has died down to a minimum of three customers, Analys beckons me over to her, relaying to me that one of the other waiters is going to take over the till management from me.
Excited to be relieved of my duty, I hurry out from behind the till and rush over to her. Together, we walk out the front door of the diner, the bell atop that normally announces a customer ringing due to our exit. A gush of cold wind immediately hits me in the face, sending a shiver down my spine. We pick a lone wall to lean against.
Shaking a cigarette out of the box that she fisted out of her jacket's pocket, her lighter clicks softly as she eagerly lights it up.
"You will not believe where I spent Valentine's Day," she mutters quietly, blowing the smoke from her lips away from me, fortunately.
"Where did you spend it?"
"Here."
"What's wrong with spending Valentine's Day here? I mean, I'm having the time of my life if you haven't noticed."
She chuckles in amusement obviously catching onto my sarcasm. "Does it ever feel like you're stuck in one place, stagnant and unmoving even though you're constantly moving around throughout your day?"
"Uh… no, but I do love a good conundrum."
"Sometimes it feels like my life isn't really going anywhere. I mean, don't get me wrong, my little halfling, I love the diner. I love working here. Your dad is an amazing boss," she says and I narrow my eyes at her for still calling me a little halfling. "But do I really want my life to just be this?"
"Stop calling me a little halfling," I grit out through my teeth.
"Wow, I'm sat here pouring my heart out to you and all you care to notice is that I called you my little halfling? I know I've barely taught you your social cues, little halfling, but have a heart at the least."
Petulantly, I purse my lips at her teasing and I glance out into the night that is beginning to dawn on us. To let me know that she is only jesting, she nudges me in my side.
When a breeze flutters past us, we both noticeably shiver against the cold. Quickly, I bring my hands up and hug myself to retain some heat. Throwing my head over my shoulder, I look back into the diner through the glass and curse myself for leaving my jacket underneath the counter. Would Analys mind if I went back to get it?
Glancing over at her, I notice the stoic expression on her face as she stares out into the street, and I can tell that her mind is miles away.
"If you feel stagnant then you should probably do something about it before it's too late and you're stuck doing the same repetitive shit over and over again until you end up in the grave."
"Yeah, easier said than done, mate," she says with a tiny scoff.
With a look of bemusement, I realise that I don't understand why adults do that. They tell you their problems and what they want to strive for, and when you give them an easy fix they'd rather opt for security rather than take a risk.
I guess, there is comfort in familiarity, but I don't think I would be able to live an average life knowing that happiness is within my grasp, I'd just have to take a step forward and reach for it. Then again, I have never been in a situation that has tested my resistance to change.
Easier said than done…
"Well, look who it is," Analys whispers to me while leaning into me slightly and when she sees the look of bemusement on my face, she cocks her head over at something.
I turn around to glance over at the thing she gestured towards and imagine my surprise at seeing the dark-clothed Dominic Lachowski making his way towards us. I blink as if that will wake me up from this dream, but when I reopen my eyes, I still see him walking towards us.
"I thought he said you and him weren't friends," Analys points out which draws my gaze from Dominic onto her and she takes another drag of her cigarette. "Unless he's here to order a strawberry milkshake."
Glancing back at Dominic, I wonder what he's doing here. Is he here to order a strawberry milkshake? He did once admit to the fact that he enjoyed the coffee here more than he does the ones at his mother's restaurant so maybe the same can be said about the milkshakes although I think he was fibbing.
That chocolate milkshake from that high-end restaurant he took me to that first time we hung out might be the best milkshake I have ever had. The sugary taste still haunts me to this very day.
Once stood before us, the gravel loudly crunching beneath his trainers to fill the sudden silence, his eyes stay on me. My first thought is that he looks so much better out of that medieval costume he was wearing earlier today at school. Then his gaze flickers over to the other presence beside me and at first he furrows his eyebrows as if he's trying to recall from where he has seen her before. Then recognition shines in his eyes.
"Hey," he drawls out awkwardly and I can feel Analys' anger washing off her like waves.
"So, are you here to order a milkshake at our zero star joint or are you perhaps here for a different reason?"
"About that, I didn't actually submit that review," then his eyes waver and he immediately confesses, "No that's a lie. I did, but I'm sure you learned a valuable lesson that day, no?"
With a venomous glare directed at him from Analys, her nose wrinkles in annoyance and after squashing her cigarette bud beneath her shoes she slides her middle finger across the septum of her nose as if adjusting her invisible glasses. Afterwards, she walks past us back into the diner and my eyes follow her as I hold in my laughter.
"She doesn't even wear glasses. She just blatantly gave me the middle finger," Dominic says.
When I merely grin at him in amusement, he shakes his head and then shuffles in to occupy the space that has just opened up on the wall beside me.
I slant my head over to watch him and curiously I ask, "So are you here to buy a strawberry milkshake, because if you are, I'd highly suggest against doing it. I'm not saying Analys would intentionally poison it, but I'm also not saying she wouldn't."
"No, I'm here to see you."
His words inadvertently remind me of the other time he came here to see me. The day after his birthday. How he came over to the diner and told me that we needed to talk. At the time, his words had been so anxiety-inducing and the more he kept talking about the drunken kiss we shared in the restroom, the more I started to feel like that chocolate milkshake I had drunk before was gonna end up on someone's shirt.
"Do you remember when you asked me if I have any siblings and I said no?" he asks, breaking me from my train of thought.
Slowly, I nod to answer his question even though I'm confused as to why he'd bring that up right now.
Sheepishly, he admits, "I lied."
"You have siblings?"
"I have a sibling, a brother. His name is Landon. He's like ten years older than me."
After listening to his words intently, my brows furrow in confusion as I try to process them in my mind. "Why wouldn't you just tell me that? Why lie?"
"I don't even know. I think at the time, I just didn't want you to know anything about me. The less you knew, the better. But now that we're friends… friends tell each other personal things about each other, right?"
"Are you telling me that because you feel obligated to as my friend?"
"No, I'm telling you this because I want to. I want you to know the truth and… I don't know."
When he frustratedly rubs a hand down his face, my gaze strays over to him and stays on him. His curly stands wildly whirl in the cold breeze. Why does he have to look so beautiful? Again, I can already feel my legs turning into jelly beneath me and I worry that they might just buckle underneath me.
When my lips grow dry, I quickly dampen them by rolling my bottom lip into my mouth. As if feeling my gaze on him, he lifts his face out of the crevice of his palms and then slowly turns his head over to connect his eyes with mine. I don't know why I didn't just look away from him before he could entrap me in his fervent stare, but it's too late now. I'm caught, like a moth to a flame.
Painfully, my heart tightens in my chest and it feels like someone is delightfully steaming it with warmth. My stomach is in knots too.
I can barely think.
Slowly he leans into me and then I feel his lips on mine.
For a second, I'm too stunned to move but once I realise what's happening I roughly push him away. He blinks at me and I glower at him angrily.
"What are you doing?" I demand monotonously.
Guiltily, his gaze wavers away from me and as my chest is heaving up and down from the deep inhales I'm taking to calm the rapid beating of my heart, I shake my head irritably and storm away from him. I don't go back into the diner. I make a beeline for the streetlight across the diner, the same one I used to take a picture of Kai.
"Seong Jin, wait."
I ball my fists and worriedly bury my face in them. What the hell is his problem? He can't do this to me again? He can't keep playing with my feelings like this? He has a girlfriend and I can't… My breath stutters within my throat and I feel his hand gripping my arm which draws me to a halt. Spinning around on my heels with the same daggers in my eyes, I instantly shrug his hand off me. I don't miss the hurt in his dull browns before he's stoic again.
"What is wrong with you? I can't keep doing this back-and-forth thing with you, I can't."
"I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Do you just enjoy playing with my feelings? Is that what this is? Are you just bored out of your mind? Don't you think you constantly kissing me is confusing me and making me question every single thing? I mean, I don't understand why you'd even kiss me if you don't like me."
"Seong Jin—"
"And if you're trying to have some sort of meaningless relationship with someone on the side or you're trying to experiment with someone, I'm sorry but I'm not your pawn. So, if you wanna do that you're gonna have to find someone else willing to do something like that with you—"
"Seong Jin, just shut up for a second and listen to me."
My rambling comes to a stop.
"You're not a pawn or someone I'm trying to experiment with," he pauses and I notice his neck bobbling as if he just gulped. "I don't know what's wrong with me, but ever since we kissed in my room, I can't stop thinking about you. Everything I do just reminds me of you and… I-I like you, Seong Jin."
"Stop," I murmur under my breath, taking a step away from him when he tries to close the distance between us.
He doesn't let that hinder him. Again, he shuffles closer to me and this time around, I don't have the will to draw away from him. When I feel something on the end of my t-shirt, I look down to see him desperately fisting my shirt in his palm. My heart beats in my face and the little resistance I had withers into nothing.
I can feel his heated stare on my face as if to try and read my reaction and hesitantly, my gaze moves up to meet his. The intensity of his chocolate browns knocks the breath out of me.
"We can't do this to Jodie," I eventually say to him and the atmosphere between us is intimate and quiet.
"If it's Jodie that's stopping you from admitting that you like me back," he says and then after rapidly blinking, he continues, "then I'll break up with her."