As we drive up to my school, I find myself in a daze, lost in thought and daydreaming. Replaying the memory of a certain someone pressing his lips against my own last night outside the diner has my heart racing.
The warmth of his breath still lingers on my skin, setting my nerves ablaze. While gazing out the window at the cars zooming past, I distractedly trace my fingertips over my lips and I find myself recalling how much softness and yearning there was in that unexpected kiss. It had been impulsive, that much I know. That is who Dominic is though. Unpredictable...
It takes a flick in the temple from my dad to snap me out of it and the sudden jolt of pain causes me to flinch away, giving him a sideways glare.
With a look of concern, he tells me that we have arrived and when I blink in confusion, wondering when we got to school already, he asks me if everything is okay. I quickly force a smile onto my face, nodding to assure him that I am not plagued by thoughts of someone kissing me and also confessing that he likes me.
I reach back to grab my bag from the backseat and as I do, my eyes fall on the design. The adorable goat with a bloody smile, curling at me with an unsettling look. I frown in annoyance, wishing I had put my bag a few feet away from my sister when we were painting our nails, knowing how clumsy she is.
Looking at my dad, I widen my eyes guilelessly and soften my voice to ask, "Can you buy me another bag?"
"What, are you finally over your stage of being obsessed with goats?"
"I am not obsessed with goats," I dispute adamantly and he arches a brow, staring at me unconvinced. "And no, I want another bag that has a goat on it. Chu Hua spilt some nail polish on this one. He looks like a carnivorous goat, don't you think?"
"Okay, Seong Jin, talk to your mother and tell her you want another bag."
"But I'm talking to you about it, Dad," I say instead, dreading the thought of asking my mum to buy me another bag. I can already hear her scolding me for being careless and then further scolding me for my supposed obsession with goats. I am not obsessed with goats. "So will you buy me one?"
"Okay, I'll buy you one. Now get out of my car, I need to go to the petrol station to fill up the car before heading over to open the diner." He sounds so fed up with me. When I push the door open with a satisfied grin playing on my lips, he adds, "I love you."
"Nado saranghae," I quickly say, shrugging my bag onto my back and waving him adieu.
The last time I did not say it back, he embarrassed me in front of my peers. I do not want to go through that again. Once the door is shut behind me, I hear the car engine rumbling alive and as he drives off out the school grounds, the tension finally leaves my shoulders.
I'm glad he did not decide to try and humiliate me today. I already have so much plaguing my mind after what happened outside the diner last night and adding feelings of embarrassment on top of that would make the world's worst concoction.
Pulling my headphones over my ears, I hang my head and trudge towards the entrance.
Every single time I blink, Dominic kisses me and then I open my eyes only to hear him telling me that he likes me which my heart never fails to flutter loudly every time at those words. For so long, it's all I have ever wanted from him. For him to reciprocate my feelings for him and even go as far as confessing said feelings to me. I almost couldn't fall asleep when I got back home last night.
Then I think of his final words to me. If it's Jodie stopping you from admitting that you like me back, then I'll break up with her.
The more those words ring loud in my mind, the more guilty I feel. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am elated to know that Dominic likes me back. I never even imagined that happening to me, only in my wildest dreams, but hearing him saying that he would break up with Jodie for my sake weirdly does not placate me. I don't want him to break up with her because of me. She does not deserve to be betrayed like that.
Also, what exactly is meant to happen afterwards? Are we immediately going to start dating each other?
Exhaling a shaky breath, I make my way through the throngs of students and try to put my focus on something else. I still need to speak to Savannah to ask her for permission to be a photographer for The Moss. Just as I've swapped out my books from the locker, rehearsing the permanent you can do it written on the door as if to encourage myself before the day commences, I almost spring out of my skin when someone hops on my back.
Rolling my eyes in annoyance, I dryly say, "Taylor please. We're not in reception school anymore. Get off my back."
She tugs my headphones down to hang around my neck. "It's me, Jodie."
In shock, my eyes bulge out of their socket and I slowly turn my head slightly in trepidation to catch the familiar ginger haired, emerald eyed girl who I was coincidentally thinking about a few seconds ago. My mouth parts in my surprise and when a friendly grin stretches onto her face, a genuine smile dare I add, I nervously blink and try to tone down my reaction.
Project your best inner Lachowski, I echo to myself over and over until I am wearing a pretty good poker face.
"Jodie," I chuckle and almost punch myself for how anxious it sounds to the ear. "Uh... fancy seeing you here."
Sliding off my back, she scowls up at me in confusion before musing, "Is that a pun, because of the outfit I was wearing yesterday? Because let me tell you something, Seong Jin. I posted a picture of Dominic and I in those outfits on my Instagram and people were losing their minds, saying how fucking adorable we looked in them."
Then she is hurriedly digging in her pocket and when she pulls her phone out, she quickly scrolls through it until she finds the post she was talking about. With a look of satisfaction making its way onto her face, she flips the device around and shows me the picture on her social media page.
Watching it closely, I notice how awkward Dominic seems compared to her. He looks like a kid who was forced to take a picture with his family for Christmas who is constantly pulling silly faces in each photo.
Still, he manages to look cute.
"It's good, right?" she asks, pulling me out of my daze and after gnawing down on my bottom lip, I smile stiffly and bob my head up and down. Glancing down at the picture, this soft grin paints her lips. "Dominic looks so awkward."
The warm glow in her eyes puts in perspective how much she really likes him, and it scares me. Jodie has never been in a relationship with someone for as long as she has with him. She normally gets bored after about a week, two at most. She has been with Dominic since last year, approximately three months now. I don't even know what they've been doing together, how he has kept her this interested.
And then again, guilt eats away at me and after my hands have entangled themselves, I decide to hesitantly say, "Jodie, there's something I have to tell you."
Curiosity shines in her eyes and slowly she echoes back, "Okay..."
"Dominic and I," a stuttered breath stays behind the lump in my throat, "Actually we—"
"Both have the shits from all the cappuccino we drank last night," the familiar monotone voice quickly interjects, cutting me off. Dominic throws his arm over my shoulder and pointedly smiles down at me stiffly. The small glare in his gaze makes me sheepishly bury my chin in my chest.
With a grimace on her face, Jodie says, "Okay well, have fun with that I guess. I'll touch you again when you stop having the shits."
Slowly, she backs away from us and once she has turned the corner, Dominic narrows his eyes down at me. Then he's dragging me along with him until we both end up in the janitor's closet.
My eyes flicker around to take in the familiar enclosure and the hydrochloric acid on the shelf brings back a lot of memories.
"What the hell are you doing?" he chastises me and petulantly, I drill a hole in the floor with my trainers. "Were you gonna tell her we kissed?"
"Well, yes."
"Why?"
"Because I feel bad, okay? I feel fucking shit. I mean, this is the third time that this has happened now, Dominic. You've cheated on her with me about two times, three if we count that one time you took her out on a date."
"Yeah, I know that. I'll talk to her, okay? You going over there and spluttering a bunch of incoherent nonsense isn't going to help the situation."
"I wasn't going to splutter a bunch of incoherent nonsense," I respond with a small pout, but the way he arches his eyebrow loudly states that he doesn't believe me.
"You forget I spent all that time with you. I know you, Seong Jin. Besides, it'd be better if it came from me. You just need to not worry so much."
Heaving a deep sigh from my chest, I murmur softly, "That's easier said than done, Domi."
At me calling him by his nickname, I notice the corners of his lips twitching before he bites down on his bottom lip. Turning his head to the side, he tries to hide the smile creeping onto his lips.
When he takes a step forward and reaches down to grab my hand, my widening eyes move down to watch his actions with both anticipation and anxiety. Slowly, he intertwines our fingers and his palm feels warm against my freezing one.
Gently, he pulls me into his chest and his other arm winds around my neck to encase me in an embrace. I'm slightly caught off guard by the gesture and tensely my shoulders come up to kiss my ears, but after a few seconds pass I eventually begin to warm up to the hug and I relax against him. Loosely, my arm rests around his waist and my fingers enclose around his. Involuntarily, I take a deep inhale of his scent. He always smells so good.
This feels nice.
"Are you still worried?" he muses quietly and with my cheek mashed against his shoulder, I shake my head from side to side. "Good."