His grip on my wrist falls down to his side and he steps back, increasing the distance between us and causing the arm that was once wrapped around his shoulder to also drop down onto my side limply. The expression on my face still conveys my stupor as I am still pondering his previous words to me. Did I hear him correctly? Did he just ask me to leave?
My eyes search his face furiously, but before I can even read anything on his expression he has already masked it with that familiar, dead look.
"Did you just tell me to leave?" I muse quietly, gulping down the lump forming in my throat.
"Yeah." Without meeting my gaze, he bobs his head up and down in affirmation. "Yes, I did."
"After kissing me?" I retort, an accusatory tone in my voice and subconsciously, I narrow my eyes at him dangerously.
"In case you forgot," he starts, backing away from me to lean into his piano yet again and I hate the fact that he's deliberately putting a large distance between us as if to get as far away from me as possible, "I have a girlfriend."
"In case I forgot?" I demand, now glaring at him of my own accord. "You kissed me."
"And you approached me. What were you getting closer to me for? I could hear you perfectly fine from where you were standing."
"Are you being serious right now?" I question him, rearing back in astonishment. "Are you putting this on me?"
"No, I'm putting this on us. See, this is why I asked you to leave because I knew we were just going to argue with one another. I shouldn't have kissed you, I have a girlfriend. You're aware of that, so you shouldn't have been standing that close to me nor should you be kissing me back."
"Don't do this, Dominic."
"Don't do what?"
Is it weird that this time it hurts more than when he silently rejected me? Back then I didn't know him. I just saw a handsome, emotionless boy whose walls I wanted to bring down.
Now, I have gotten to know him. I have gotten to know who Dominic Lachowski is and I have fallen head over heels for a boy who has spoken to me, a boy who has not only pestered me to no ends, but has almost fallen from the second floor with me, a boy who has told me his deepest fears and things he has not shared with anyone yet, a boy who drunkenly kissed me in a restroom. That's who Dominic is. Not just an impassive, emotionless douche.
I press my lips together into a thin line and blink the glistening in my eyes away. One traitorous tear slips past, but I quickly wipe it away.
Yang Jin would be laughing at me if he were here. "You're such a crybaby, Seong Jin", he'd taunt teasingly.
Glancing up at Dominic, I watch as he tries to look away, to break the eye contact between us so that he doesn't have to watch me crumbling right in front of him. He can't though. I continue to sink into his mesmerising, chocolate brown eyes which try to obscure his emotions.
"Don't make this difficult for the both of us," he pleads and it's in that nanosecond that the unbothered façade he was wearing breaks. "Please. Leave."
Even though I do not want to, my eyes end up falling from his, because if he's begging me then I'll leave. Dominic is not prone to asking me for something. He demands. He never begs. So, if this is what he wants, then I'll leave him. With an inaudible gulp, I catch a glimpse of his hoodie and my grip tightens around it. Should I really be keeping this? If he wants nothing to do with me then I don't want to be reminded of him all the time by looking at this hoodie.
I nod and then whisper softly, voice thick with emotion, "Okay."
The word I'm beginning to dread. Okay. Fucking okay.
So reluctantly, I inch closer to him and gingerly take hold of his rough, calloused, warm hand. When he feels the coldness from my hands, he jumps a bit and stares down at me questionably. It's funny because I'm the warm one in this friendship and he's the cold one, but our skin contradicts that. According to the warmth in our bodies, Dominic is the warm one.
"I'm sorry," I whisper one last time and spin on my heels, walking towards the door.
I can feel my breath hitching, my lungs struggling to do their job. Panic arises inside me since their leader is not responding. My heart has just been officially broken by someone who I never expected to like again. So much for your personality is such a turnoff.
"Seong Jin," he calls, causing me to halt immediately.
Subconsciously, a little bit of hope flutters in my chest and my heart tries to grab onto its floating pieces, trying to piece itself together. Is he going to ask me to stay? Is he going to tell me that he needs me in his life? Just as much as I need him?
"I said that you should keep it."
My face drops and the hope vanishes immediately. My heart lets go of itself and allows its pieces to just float around aimlessly inside my chest, prickling everything in its sight. My lungs, jab. My pancreas, jab. My stomach, jab. Everything in its path. Once it has done its damage, it sits on a stool, strumming a guitar and singing a song. Melancholic, so much that I don't care if Yang Jin would laugh if he saw me crying.
"I don't want to be reminded of you every time I look at it. Let's be honest, Dominic. You probably don't wanna speak to me ever again."
He doesn't deny it.
It scares me.
With that being said, I leave the music room.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.
You'll be okay.
Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
You'll be okay.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.
Fucking okay.
Just as I am about to leave the mansion, I feel something soft rubbing up against my leg. Jumping in shock, I frantically glance down to see the familiar little ginger-brown kitten staring up at me with its big, guileless, green eyes. After blinking down at it, I wonder why it looks so familiar and then it hits me where I have seen it before. It's the same one from Dominic's Instagram. The one he called Keanu, the one he claimed he was following.
I had a feeling he wasn't being completely truthful when he said that, but I also cannot comprehend why he'd lie about something as trivial as owning a kitten. Maybe he was embarrassed to have one.
When it quietly mewls at me, I'm immediately filled with pure, absolute fluff. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Am I allowed to pet it? I mean, I was just told by its owner to get out of his house and to cut off all communication with him. Does that apply to his pet too?
After glancing around for any watchful eyes, I quickly bend down to pick it up and between my fingers, its fur is soft to the touch. The kitten leans into my fingers and begins to purr when I pet it. It's actually so fucking cute. The pictures of it don't do it justice at all. God dammit, why does my brother have to be allergic to cats? I want one.
"I see you've found Kitten," Dominic's mother's voice catches me off guard and widely, I gaze over at her.
"He's cute. Is that his name? Kitten?"
"Yes. Dominic is very creative," she comments with an amused smile and I reciprocate the action subconsciously.
As I crouch down to put Kitten down at my feet, still stroking his fur, I replay the argument I just had with Dominic in my head and I begin to worry that the sound of our raised voices might have carried through the walls. I cannot help but wonder if she heard every word we said. Hopefully, the walls aren't too thin and our disagreement didn't disturb her.
Intertwining her fingers in front of her, she muses, "Would you like some cake? I don't know if he told you, but it was Dominic's birthday not so long ago and when I told him to invite his friends over, he only brought Dinah James."
"Um… no, thank you." After one last cute mewl and rubbing himself up against me, Kitten struts away. "I should really get going. It's getting dark and my parents will begin to worry if I—"
"I can pack it in a lunchbox for you. It's a chocolate cake. His father couldn't find any strawberry ones, because it was so last minute."
Strawberry must be his favourite. I do recall him ordering a strawberry milkshake every single time we were at the diner.
"I—"
"Please say yes. Dinah James is his only friend and they didn't take much. I fear it'll go bad soon."
I mean, who can say no to that face? And chocolate cake too? So reluctantly, I say, "Okay."
A grin spreads across her face and she beckons me to the kitchen. I slowly follow. When I step into the room, I cannot help but be just as amazed by it too. It's just as beautiful as the rest of the house. She heads over to the pantry and pulls it open, but when she pulls a cake out, I realise that it's actually a fridge and not a pantry. I am going to design my house like this if I'm rich enough. If not, I'll just find myself a sugar daddy to pay for all my expenses.
When she places it down on the island, I realise why she was afraid it would go bad. It's freaking huge. Why would they buy him such a big cake? He only has one friend.
"Dominic didn't want a cake, but I wasn't going to hear it. You're going to get a cake, I said to him."
I grin in hilarity, taking a seat on the high stool behind the island cutting the kitchen in half.
"So how did you and Domi become friends?"
She calls him Domi too? Is that why he doesn't want me to call him that?
"Um… well—" How do I say this?
"Wait, are you friends with his girlfriend?" she cuts me off to ask.
My eyes widen.
"Oh, my sister was just telling me about that the other day. I did not realise that my son had an inch of interest in girls. I mean, between you and I," she glances around and then inconspicuously whispers, "I always thought he was gay."
"Oh, uh… yeah, no. He's most definitely not gay," I stutter, the tips of my ears burning as I avert my gaze awkwardly. He just has a tendency to kiss me, is all.
"I wouldn't care if he was."
"Oh, well, I'm not friends with his girlfriend. Well, I am, but what I'm trying to say is I'm not just friends with his girlfriend. He and I are also friends too." Are we friends? "We… met at school through a school project."
Yeah, I don't think she will be thrilled to hear that her Domi was blackmailing me with my sketchbook.
"It makes me so happy to know that he's finally making friends at school. I mean, he's five years too late, but better late then never."
"Yep," I smile as sincerely as I can under the circumstances. "Uh… he's a good friend. I mean, at times he can be a little standoffish, but he would never betray m—," I catch myself before I finish that sentence and instead say, "he'd never betray his friends."
She chuckles. "That's Dominic, alright." She closes the lunchbox and hands it to me.
I thank her, clutching the container.
"You're welcome. I hope to see you more often."
Sorry to disappoint you, lady, but this is probably the last time you see me.
"You too, Mrs Lachowski. It was nice to meet you."
"It was nice to meet you too, Seong Jin."
After saying my farewells, I leave the mansion. My bicycle is still in the same spot I left it in, and I pick it up. Cycling towards the gate using only one hand since the other is holding the lunchbox, I wait for the gate to open. Taking one last glance over my shoulder at one of the many windows, I don't miss the curtain quickly sliding close.
My chest clenches painfully, and I just want him to call me back so we can figure shit out. Yet deep down, I know what he was saying about an argument breaking out between us wasn't entirely a lie, because he's set on one thing and I'm set on another. Sadly, I grimace and leave.
And conveniently, the rain catches up to me on the way back home.
This day just keeps getting better and better.