There was nothing in front of the tall figure of the girl but cold ice. But in her indifferent eyes was the reflection of dying people. Those dying helplessly, cluelessly and foolishly.
She couldn't feel her spotless finger, nor was anything in front of her. Has she gone crazy?, would be the question of the observers. If there were any.
[ Have you ever had this feeling where you drown the more you struggle?
The feeling that the entire world is against you and that every power in the world is against your happiness?
I have that kind of feeling all the time.
But that damned moving to my grandfather's mansion was a turning point, my turning point.
Maybe yours is when you are sitting behind your desk working and drinking your favorite coffee and you feel ominous and that feeling never leaves you then on. When your favorite coffee never tastes the same again.
When everything turns towards the worst possibility.
As if a long-forgotten deadly beast we had once run away from has found us anew.
Showing its fangs, the beast informs the world that their doom wasn't far away, even if they had chosen to cowardly ran away from it.
Despite not being prepared for it.
Even if they had CHOOSEN to forget it.
Even if they had ALREADY forgotten it.
Indifferently, the hell arrives...]
Setting her sickly but otherworldly beautiful eyes on the holographic window, right when the system asked, "Would you like to publish?", her slender fingers stopped.
"What does all this matter if I am dying..?" she murmured, falling next to the ice wall. Not even her deep sigh, warm enough to make vapor.
**
My mother, Bellatrix Miracle, always told me to live in reality. She told me that life is cruel and that not everyone gets what they want.
She said that not everyone is talented and that I should live rationally and according to my abilities.
I grew up having 6 siblings. A pack of three: Destiny and Damon, Divine and Diana, Diva and Dylan.
The two older siblings, always competing, had lots of tutoring classes in math, biology, physics, and languages. From school to high school and from high school to university. Never ending classes.
The Divine pair, Divine and Diana, which also means divine, were divine in every aspect. Of course, other than their personalities. When they were born, the real state sky racked, which made them grandfather's lucky charms whom he always looked after.
They are the families lucky, or should I say divine ones.
Early on, Grandfather Bright took over Divines education. Education to make him his heir. Divine did not disappoint him at all. He, similar to Destiny and Damon, had great academic talent. He got his degree in business management with top grades while also receiving our grandfather's tutoring and engaging in the business world!
Grandfather paid all of Divine's educational expenses. However, he also had to engage in sports, and my parents, who would love to have an athletic child, would pay for that. An athletic child, who is also the most likely to get a lot of shares from Grandfather Bright. Now, when I say sports, I MEAN SPORTS. Many of it. From boxing to hiking.
Diana was talented musically, with a divine voice, divine fingers, and a divine face. A born to be a musician.
So how could the family not invest in her? Teachers, expensive instruments, competitions, concerts sponsored by father, flies aboard and a private driver always arranged for her.
I once heard father drunk talking about how he never got the chance to bloom his musical talents and I'm also grateful that he didn't. In that regard, he, HA-Neul (김하늘) Bright is on my level. Beneath the average of being a musical genius. So if he pursued music instead of real state business, we all had to go to grandfather's place begging for food.
Father wasn't the only one with a favorite child. The last born was Mother's favorite. The second to last, grandmother's.
The third twins are, 4 years apart from me and, 3 years apart from the divine pair, and 6 years apart from the genius ones.
Diva, looking remarkably like grandmother, also inhered her talent for dance and pursued a dancing career. She entered an art school, which I didn't even get permitted to dream about.
Once I had mentioned my interest in pursuing dance. The response from my parents was a waltz teacher arranged for all of us siblings. Then, out of nowhere, Diva started attending many dance courses. The reason: Grandmother Bright had seen her dancing and saw genuine talent in her.
I may seem jealous or even evil, but, in my eyes, she wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
At least, not in those lessons we had attended all together.
I had mastered the waltz. To be specific, everyone had mastered the waltz.
Well, it's better than nothing. My parent could have completely ignored my request.
But they didn't. The reason could be the prestige brought, or perhaps they just felt guilty.
Actually, before that, I was attending piano lessons. It was one thing I felt proud of and was good at.
Anyway, when Diana asked my parents to try piano and displayed more talent than me, I had to stop.
Our family couldn't afford to nurture two musicians, was what I interpreted from my parent's whispers and worried looks. My father's business had encountered difficulties and mother's luxury item brand still had a long way to go. Even though they didn't show it, I still felt uneasy and burdened. Resulting in my decision to let go of professional persuasion of piano.
Last but not least, Mommy's baby boy, Dylan. He was crazy about cars and speed. Spending crazy amounts on cars and racing courses and whenever someone complained about his spending hobbies, mom would stop them. Not that anyone complained besides me.
She wanted him to play around and be a child. A mindset that she didn't have while raising her other children. Anyhow, to everyone's shock, the spoiled brat became a popular actor. He even entered a good art university. Someone who did nothing but play around got accepted into university. Money indeed does wonders.
How did I live, you ask?
As my mother asked me, I lived according to my abilities. I got accepted into a mediocre university for teacher training.
No tutoring for the mediocre me.
After all, not everyone gets the same opportunities. So after getting accepted, my parents told me off.
They said they couldn't afford to send four children to university at the same time. They would rather pay Divines side education, basketball. Damn, Divine.
As the one raised to always have consciousness, I understood I shouldn't ask them to pay for my education instead of the blessed Divine's multiple studies. But my understanding and not getting angry weren't the same.
I understood, and I was still angry. Who said that if someone understands, they won't become angry? Will you die any less if you know you weren't the target but still got stabbed to death?
I guess they did. Since I became upset, they thought I didn't understand. Therefore, they became angry too.
Then, we all stayed angry until neither of us could even remember the reason, but we all remembered our point of angriness. We are still angry.