All my life, I had been faithful and never sinned. I always strived to be the most positive person. On my deathbed, I was confident of going to Heaven. So, why did I end up in Hell?
The angels banished me here. I couldn't accept it. There must have been some mistake! I fought tooth and nail, and finally, I met God.
"Why, Father, why did you throw me into this pit of despair? I have done nothing but be faithful!"
"You have insulted me."
"H-how is that possible? I never did such a vile thing."
He cleared his throat and spoke, "You said, and I quote, 'God, you're stupid,' 'God, you're an idiot,' 'Goddamit,' 'Dear God, what an idiot' – 1,557 times in your life."
My eyes widened in shock. "T-they are phrases, sayings, you must understand the context, they're not..."
"Context?! You dare mock me, puny creature?! Get out of my sight!"
In a blink of an eye, I was send falling down a lava pit.