Chapter 38: Part XXXVIIINotes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing for a while.
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"Don't let her beauty lead you astray. That woman's quim is dark and full of terrors."
Anonymous warning given of the Lady Melisandre of Asshai
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The Broken Anvil Inn - King's Landing – 299 AC
Melisandre had not actually needed to eat for many years, the Lord of Light provided all the sustenance she required, but it was important for people not to realise just how different she really was to normal folk. As a result she made absolutely sure that she was publicly witnessed consuming a meal at least a couple of times every week, hence her presence at the Inn that afternoon.
It was not difficult to make sure she was noticed, she tended to provoke strong reactions in the people around her, typically wariness or desire but occasionally mere intrigue or simple curiosity. Whereas Red Priests and Priestesses were a common enough sight in Essos that they could pass on by ignored that was far from the situation on this side of the Narrow Sea. Therefore, as Melisandre wandered the streets and alleys of King's Landing, with her flaming red hair and dress to match, eyes and whispered gossip always followed her passage.
Such was her notoriety that there was now apparently a red-headed whore in one of the expensive brothels on the Street of Silk who had taken to wearing a similar dress to Melisandre, albeit one showing rather more cleavage, the harlot doing a roaring trade play-acting as the "Red Witch" for her clientele. The Faith of R'hllor was not puritanical about sex in the slightest, you could even find temple prostitutes amongst their ranks, thus Melisandre wasn't quite sure if she should be aggrieved and demand this be stopped or should instead seek out this 'Ros' woman and insist upon a percentage of the take because the strumpet was raking in good coin off free advertising.
Melisandre sat alone at her table at the Inn situated by a window, occasionally looking out towards the so-called 'Gate of the Gods' set in the city wall nearby and suppressing her urge to go out and preach that the deities depicted upon it were false. She yearned to testify before the masses that only R'hllor was the truth, that the Septs of the Faith of the Seven and the Weirwoods of the Old Gods should be burned, and that all must serve the Lord of light, but to actually do so had to remain naught but a pleasant dream.
If she actually followed her instincts to proselytise and call for the idolators to be struck down however then Azor Ahai would surely have her gagged, bound and then thrown onto the next ship heading to Essos. She therefore held her tongue for now, certain that the time would come when King Joffrey would embrace the light of R'hllor and accept his role as champion of the one true god. On that wondrous and joyful day Melisandre vowed she would personally set the Great Sept of Baelor aflame, although first making sure to slap the shit out of that bitch Septa Unella, one of the Council of the Most Devout, who had repeatedly accused her of dressing like a cheap trollop.
The woman clearly had no idea how much a properly tailored dress like this actually cost. Perhaps unsurprising given that Septas tended to look like they were draped in last week's rumpled laundry, the Red Priestess decided.
Melisandre was being watched intently of course, not only by those in the employ of Varys 'The Spider' who kept her under near-constant observation, but also the other patrons of the Inn. Every so often she deliberately caught the eye of one of them as they directed a wary look in her direction and she smiled back at them in a manner that they likely found extremely disconcerting.
It was perhaps strange that while most other forms of entertainment had lost their lustre over the years making grown men shudder as the hairs stood up on the back of their necks was still good for a chuckle, if only inwardly of course.
A few days past Melisandre's meal-as-masquerade had been a deeply uninspiring bowl of broth purchased in a somewhat disreputable place near the harbour, and two days before that it had been some unidentifiable meat served on a piece of bread sold by a stall in Cobbler's Square, but the ribs of wild boar set on the plate before her now were something else entirely and took her mind away from her musings. It was the first meal that had passed her lips in quite some time that wasn't merely a chore necessitated by deception.
The meat itself was of good quality and more importantly it tasted like fire.
Well not fire exactly, but the sauce poured over the ribs had been very heavily spiced with Dragon Peppers from Dorne and Melisandre couldn't help but think to herself that the peppers must be another gift to humanity from the Lord of Light. The burning on her tongue was somehow delicious as they imitated holy cleansing flame, a culinary glamour of sorts she found herself thinking of it, drawing a metaphor with some of her own tricks and talents.
The Great Other was probably responsible for spinach, she decided, taking another bite of meat from off the boar rib in her hand, smearing some more of the thick, rich sauce onto her face in the process.
It was certainly not a meal that could be consumed with any great decorum, but it wasn't as if she was currently trying to impress anyone. She wasn't really a highborn lady, the title was merely honorary, an affectation that served to provide a veneer of respectability as she moved in the uppermost circles of Westerosi society. In fact pretending to be such was almost as tiring spiritually as having to wear her necklace for extended periods of time was physically. Sometimes you just needed to relax and unwind, be that in the form of a long hot bath or simply a good meal.
Melisandre closed her eyes and savoured the latest bite as she tried to remember the last time she had so enjoyed a repast.
"Valar morghulis" a woman's voice interrupted her train of thought. The pronunciation of the High Valyrian was near flawless but with a taint of Volantene to the accent, mixed with something more Eastern.
Melisandre opened her eyes which widened with surprise before she swallowed so hard she nearly choked. "Valar dohaeris" she practically gasped in return as she found herself looking at another Priestess of R'hllor clad in red, the woman strikingly attractive as they all tended to be but unusually in this case with the facial structure and skin-tone of the Yi Tish.
The other priestess had a small tattoo under one eye, the involuntary branding of a tear marked high upon her cheek showing she had once been a slave prostitute in Volantis, presumably before she was purchased by the Temple and trained to spread the word of the Lord of Light.
"Melisandre of Asshai. I come here on behalf of Kinvara, High Priestess of the Red Temple of Volantis, the Flame of Truth, the Light of Wisdom, and First Servant of the Lord of Light to inform you that you are the subject of a formal investigation into your conduct" the priestess announced haughtily, switching from High Valyrian to the Westerosi Common Tongue, presumably because she wanted others in the Inn to understand what she was saying. "Said investigation to be carried out by myself. You may address me as Zēa of Jinqi, or simply Zēa if you prefer" she continued. "Here are my credentials" she added, producing a tightly wrapped scroll secured with a red wax seal from a pocket inside her wide sleeves.
Looking near as surprised as she felt Melisandre stood up and reached to take the scroll but the other priestess suddenly pulled it away from her. "You may wish to wipe your hands clean first" she suggested, her facial expression unreadable although Melisandre could read the amusement in her eyes.
Melisandre snatched up a cloth and hurriedly began to wipe the dragon-pepper sauce from her fingers. This was not the best first impression she had made. "How did you find me?" she asked.
"It wasn't difficult" the priestess 'Zēa' replied. "I started at the harbour where I arrived this morning and simply asked people if they had seen you as I made my way through the city" she explained. "I was misdirected towards a brothel at one point. Did you know there was a whore dressing up as you?" she asked curiously.
"Yes" Melisandre replied as she continued to clean her hands and then face.
Zēa nodded. "I assume you insisted upon her paying a tithe for the privilege then?"
"No" Melisandre replied awkwardly after a short pause.
The other Priestess of R'hllor frowned. "That is a simply unacceptable" she stated firmly. "I'll go see her myself."
"If you go there then I'd wager they'll likely try and find a girl from Yi Ti to dress up as you as well" Melisandre warned.
"In that case they can both pay a tithe" Zēa stated firmly as she finally handed over the roll of parchment.
After removing the wax seal and unrolling the scroll if Melisandre had any prior doubts that it actually was from Kinvara then the very first line of Valyrian glyphs dispelled them. It wasn't so much the beautiful calligraphy, though even as a young acolyte Kinvara always had excellent handwriting, it was that nobody else in the world would ever refer to her as 'Melony' for the simple reason that everyone else that knew Melisandre's real name had died well over three centuries ago. Even Melisandre herself barely remembered being Melony some days, although being sold into slavery as Melony, or more precisely 'Lot Seven' at the slave auction, was somewhat harder to forget.
Melisandre read through the scroll trying not to let her own emotions show but roughly half-way through she snapped. "Not seeing the big picture? Losing my touch as I get older?!" she suddenly exclaimed in High Valyrian, causing Zēa to raise her eyebrows. "She's all of six years younger than I am" she grumbled, not adding aloud that a mere half-dozen years when you were both old enough to have lived through the Century of Blood was an utter triviality.
"From what she told me I believe one concern she has is that you need to see things through the lens of politics not merely that of faith" Zēa suggested, herself switching back to High Valyrian again. "The example she gave was that we would not have prospered and so greatly expanded our influence and numbers in Volantis if we had antagonised those of the Old Blood before we had a chance to establish ourselves."
"Politics" Melisandre repeated the word distastefully before reading on.
The second half of the scroll was mostly Kinvara pointing out that Melisandre had always been accorded great leeway in her course of action, had even been permitted to skirt heresy on occasion, but that didn't mean she was given an entirely free rein. Her many, many years of loyal service to the Lord of light meant she was respected and admired but didn't mean she could entirely disregard concerns other than her own.
Someone had apparently sent a formal letter of complaint to the Temple that Melisandre's zeal, particularly her actions in burning statues of the Seven on Dragonstone, had made the people of Westeros hostile to the Faith of R'hllor and that her very presence impeded the chances of recruiting new converts there.
Until now any such complaint would have been dismissed, Melisandre's near-unparalleled gift of prophecy had always accorded her such protection because she was proven right in the end so often, but after having so vociferously proclaimed that Stannis Baratheon was Azor Ahai reborn her inexplicably sudden change-of-heart to declaring Joffrey the Prince that was Promised instead had done her reputation no favours whatsoever.
Nobody expected infallibility as regards prophecy, they were always unclear and enigmatic at best, but switching horses that abruptly meant her judgement was now being questioned. Kinvara felt she had to make a show of investigating the complaint and she was at least apologetic about it.
The source of the complaint was unnamed but there was only one person who it could have been. Only a formal grievance raised by another member of the clergy could have reached that high in the organisation.
Melisandre mouthed an obscenity and began rolling up the scroll as she sat back down. "You'll have my full cooperation, but we'll need to go somewhere first" she told the other priestess. "If you're hungry or want something to quench your thirst you should order it here" she advised. "The quality where we're going next won't be near as high. I heartily recommend the boar ribs in dragon-pepper sauce" she said, putting the scroll away before resuming her meal in a considerably worse mood than she had been in only a few minutes earlier.
Three hours later on the other side of town in a winesink in Flea Bottom Anguy, usually known as Anguy the Archer, was contemplating his cup of vinegar that purported to be wine. "Why in the Seven Hells are we drinking here?" he asked his companion. "I've still got enough coin left from my Tourney winnings to pay for a tankard or two at a half-way decent Inn on Weasel Alley at least."
"Because she already knows the other places I drink at" Thoros of Myr replied dejectedly, adding a drop of rum from his personal flask into his own cup to try and improve the flavour. "I still can't see how you managed to drink and fuck your way through ten thousand dragons that fast, you could have lived comfortably on that the rest of your life with that much, and your children's lives for that matter, bought a farm or a fancy tavern of your own."
"Expensive tastes" Anguy explained, grimacing as he sipped from his cup.
"You mean a taste for very expensive whores don't you?" Thoros corrected him knowingly.
Anguy shrugged. "Well that and I wanted to see what it was like to bathe in Arbor Wine with one of them while two more fed me grapes" he replied. "Memorable, for the record" he added, grinning. "Of course, if I'd known that King Robert was going to die and there weren't going to be any more archery tourneys to win with absurd prizes I'd have probably been more careful with my money" he admitted sadly. "You've won a few melee tournaments yourself, why aren't you rich?"
"Expensive tastes" Thoros joked. "And I'm richer than you are" he pointed out. "Despite the number of swords I get through winning them" he added. That was one problem with coating them in wildfire and setting them ablaze for effect, it absolutely ruined the steel.
Anguy snorted. "Saying you're richer than me is like boasting you're taller than Tyrion Lannister" he retorted. "Bugger" he suddenly said, spotting who had just walked in. "looks like you'll need to find an even bigger shithole of a place to drown your sorrows in" he told Thoros apologetically.
Thoros looked over in the direction Anguy was indicating and groaned as he saw Melisandre of Asshai. She did not look best pleased either. "It's like being married without any of the benefits, all of the nagging and other miseries, no darning of socks or sex whatsoever" he complained.
"Maybe the other one will be more obliging" Anguy suggested as to the surprise of both men a second Red Priestess now appeared following on behind Melisandre, the whole clientele and staff of the winesink now stopping whatever they were doing and staring.
Melisandre stomped across the room, people scattering to get out of her way as she did so. That woman was bloody terrifying.
Both Thoros and Anguy scrambled to their feet as the priestesses arrived at their table.
"I know it was you that sent a complaint about me to the Temple in Volantis" Melisandre declared, glaring at Thoros. "It reached the High Priestess herself!"
"And yet somehow you didn't predict it happening" Thoros replied, smugly. "I imagine that you're here as an Inquisitor to investigate her behaviour" he addressed the other priestess feeling more than a little smug. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"You have been here years and yet the heathen continue to slaughter each other while they worship their false idols, meanwhile the number of people you've converted can be counted on the fingers of one head" Zēa responded sardonically. "I'm here to investigate both of you in the name of the First Servant of the Lord of Light" she announced.
Thoros blinked. "You're what[?" he responded in surprise.
"Ha!" Melisandre exclaimed gleefully. "The comeuppance of the drunken whoremonger arrives swiftly!"
Feeling like he should really be removing himself from the situation forthwith Anguy couldn't help but make comment before he did so, looking from one woman in a red dress to the other. "So if I'm right your religion finds the prettiest girls to train as priestesses and the ugliest blokes as priests" he checked with Thoros for confirmation.
Thoros turned to his friend, narrowing his eyes as he did so. "Fuck off Anguy" he replied curtly.
Notes:
Note from the Author:
Melisandre is less, or perhaps more, than human. She doesn't feel the cold and as per the books she doesn't even need to eat any more (but does to seem less different). Her liking Dragon Peppers for the fiery taste just seemed amusing.
Although unnamed in the show the Red Priestess of Yi Tish ethnicity, Zēa of Jinqi, is seen in Volantis in episode 5x03 (Zēa means Jade in High Valyrian, it seemed apt if a little unimaginative on my part perhaps). She has been dispatched to Westeros by High Priestess Kinvara to investigate complaints made about Melisandre by Thoros of Myr. He thinks she's a obsessive fanatic, she thinks he's a drunken apostate and they're both right.
Kinvara is a little young in appearance for her position as High Priestess and First Servant, unless you're of the opinion that the necklace she wears is like the one Melisandre does (it's a glamour, she just looks very good for her age). The actress that plays Kinvara is six years younger than the one who plays Melisandre so I kept that difference on a whim. Melisandre is currently about 395 years old but Kinvara only a spritely 389 and they've known each other quite a while (my explanation for why Melisandre was allowed such a free rein, is that she's not only powerful and skilled she's known the boss since before the Targaryan's invaded Westeros).
As per the books Melisandre was sold into slavery as 'Melony', or 'Lot Seven', a very long time ago and barely remembers being that girl. Kinvara knew her when she still thought of herself as Melony hence she knows her by that name.
The Faith of R'hllor is extremely relaxed about sex to the point they have Temple Prostitutes (I suspect it works better for raising money than handing around a collection plate). Having Ros dress up as Melisandre for her clients seemed all too possible, and potentially funny!
Anguy is the finest archer in Westeros. He won ten-thousand gold dragons in the Archery contest during the Tournament of the Hand and promptly squandered the lot. Thoros was also a frequent tourney participant, although in the melee competition in his case where he used his flaming sword (just the cheapest one he could find coated in Wildfire). In the books he once beat Sandor Clegane in a melee because the flaming sword just freaked poor Sandor out.