Nearing nineteen years old, still never had a girlfriend.
That's me. Le loner.
Shit's rough… but, given that I'm the one who keeps to himself everywhere I go, who is really to blame?
Name's Arthur Astley, by the way (cool name, I know). I'm a guy with way too many hobbies… video games, anime, boxing, reading, basketball… shit, there's hardly any time for all of them. Especially since I started working this year in some dusty warehouse. Physical labour, while retard-proof, is quite straining.
Why am I here, lifting random shit… something even robots could do?
Well, I didn't want to pursue my talents in economics at uni and end up 21k in debt due to student loans. Real life sucks, it really does. The good thing is I finally got some money now, though. I can buy the things I want from time to time without having to rely on anyone else.
I tend to work too hard… while everyone else around me is chatting to their colleagues and having a laugh for the whole day. I'm out here busting my ass… for what? In the end, I don't get any more pay than the rest of them. I'm just… wasting my energy. Despite knowing this, I still give it my all. That's how I was raised by my dad.
If I had a talent… it would be mindless physical labour.
…
Ah… it's the end of the shift, thank fuck. Picking up my backpack, I don't waste much time getting out and hopping on the next bus I needed to get home. Shit's full so I end up standing to the side, squashed almost. It was the late afternoon of a Saturday, so this was to be expected.
Though, as I stood there, listening to my Youtube Music playlist (yes, fuck Spotifiy)... the couple next to me started going a bit crazy. The girl beside me hugs some guy, who I assume is her boyfriend, and keeps spamming kisses like she's a pokemon and it's her only move. The guy was kinda chilling, making me want to roll my eyes.
'Get a room, wankers.'
Eventually, he reciprocated her kisses, and I felt violated, in a way. It wasn't that she was so peng that I was jealous of the guy… okay, I was jealous in a different way, but it wasn't because of her looks. The truth was that I wanted that kind of intimacy, too. I wanted a girl who treated me nice. Someone I could cuddle, kiss… and you know, share the warmth with.
I just wanted to be happy, really. Was it too much to ask?
Alas, nothing falls out of the sky for an average guy.
I once had real dreams and aspirations, but I never did go the extra mile for them; I just wanted the rewards instantly. It was easy to dream… but taking all those tiny steps to the mountaintop wasn't. Once, I wanted to be a police officer, an archer, then a game designer, a boxer… then my obsession with basketball peaked, and I wanted to get into the NBA. When you're born 5'7 and striving to get into a league of giants… eh, it's just not likely, is it?
Was that my excuse? Something that I never had any control over? I mean, I used to practice almost every day and I still sucked… there really was no hope for me.
…
After a horrendous journey home full of packed trains and busses (where the hell did the fear over Covid 19 go?), I finally got home. Dropped that backpack onto the ground, took off my shoes and work pants and just laid down on my apartment bed. I was tired as all hell, honestly. Those twelve-hour shifts ain't ever been easy.
Living alone… didn't make my feeling of isolation any better. Despite all the lectures and irritating moments, I did miss my family.
A notification popped up.
'Lakers vs Celtics tip off, Lakers looking to snap ten game losing streak for third win of the season.'
'Bum ass team…'
I rolled my eyes and just went to sleep.
~
"Ello mate."
I open my eyes… and see this shiny as fuck guy. By shiny, I mean fucking blinding. For a few moments, I thought that I had gone blind forever.
"Mortal skill issues…"
Suddenly, I regained my sight and could perfectly see him. He had a massive build, long silver hair and purple eyes… he looked like a weird mix between peak Robert Baratheon's shape, the Mountain's height and Rhaegar Targaryen's beautiful appearance. This man could pull any chick he wanted, no doubt… even his slight smile was charming.
'Wait… that's House Targaryen's sigil, isn't it?'
I stared at his clothing in confusion. It was something you'd see Daemon Targaryen from the House of the Dragon wearing… then I looked at my clothing… a suit? Why am I in an office? How the fuck did I get here?
"You have one too many questions, little prospect." The man chuckled, sipping coca-cola. "I'm a busy man so let's keep this short…"
He pushed a sheet of paper towards me.
"This has to be some weird dream…" Within reason, I slapped myself.
"Oh, it's hardly a dream. Given that you have no true aspirations… I thought, why not entertain me?"
"I have aspirations…"
"Working as a glorified slave for that useless paper? You're cleverer than that. But… you don't like taking risks, do you? That's why you would have never gone anywhere in life. Alone, broke and depressed… a life where all of your so-called pleasures are simply distractions such as those video games, tv shows and that pointless game where they put a ball in a hoop. Your entire existence, from beginning to end, is worthless."
"Tsk, tsk, tsk… truly, such a waste of your talents."
"... What talents?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.
My ass just got cooked so hard… but, he was right. What the hell was I doing with my life? Nothing, really. I began to wonder… what was he proposing?
"Let's find out." The silver man smiled, lightly tapping on the sheet with a dagger. "Go on, I did give you a pen."
"What's this even about?"
"If you read the damn thing, you would know. Regardless… I'm going out on a date with one of my wives. You have all the time in the multiverse so don't rush your answers, Arthur Astley."
"..."
I blinked and he vanished.
Immediately after, I stood up from my chair and inspected the room properly. Turns out, this office was at the top of a skyscraper. However, when I tried to get out in any way, I couldn't. There didn't seem to be anyone else with me.
I had no choice but to turn to the paper on the table.
———————
Prospect 69, I welcome you to my prospect program.
In due time, all will be known to you. However… for now, you will have to keep your curiosity to yourself. As you may have realised, you are not where you used to be, nor will you be returning anytime soon. However, if you perform adequately in your second life that is to come, you may be gifted with the opportunity to do so.
Before we begin, answer a few questions for me. I already know the answers you're going to give… but I believe that everything would make sense more to you if you answered them as well. No need for long answers, short sentences are good enough. It's the thought that counts most.
1: What woman, be it 'fictional' or not, is most attractive to you?
2: Your choice of weapon, if you were to fight in battle during the middle ages?
3: If you had been born with one realistic gift in your last life, what type of gift would you wish it was?
4: In a medieval setting, what status would you prefer most? Rank the following from 1-5;
King, Prince, knight, freeman, slave.
5: What is your favourite weather condition?
6: What creature would you like to ride most, be it fictional or not?
———————
The first question was a little embarrassing… as I went with a fictional character. Why? Purple… was my favourite colour since I was about ten. It is a luscious, bewitching, surreal colour … am I obsessed with a colour? Yeah, kinda. Regardless, if I had to choose someone… it would be a character by the name of Raiden Shogun from Genshin Impact. I mean, she was purple all over and had all the assets to match my tastes.
I would consider her my 'waifu'... but it's not some crazy devotion. I just think she's really sexy. I'm not like those weird degenerates who have body pillows of fictional characters.
Do I have her in the game? Hell, yeah, I do. She's the only character I've ever saved in-game currency for in that game… hell, I even spent a shit ton of money to get the weapon specific to her. Okay, okay… I'm a little bit of a simp. But hear me out… she's overpowered and carries my team… so like, was it that bad of a spend? It's simply an investment for my Raiden Shogun and her nuking ways.
Huh… maybe this is why I don't have a girlfriend. Did being a simp of a video game character ever stop someone from getting a girlfriend, though? It's surely more than that…
I mean, I don't like speaking to people, especially girls. I just… find it hard to get comfortable and keep the chatter going with strangers.
When I'm comfortable, though… believe me, I won't stop talking.
Ah… I'm thinking too much. Though, I have as much time as I could ever want here, right?
Without further ado, I started going through the questions at a faster rate. My choice of weapon in combat would ideally be the longbow, followed by a katana because they're cold as fuck and then… a warhammer. Yeah, I play some Warhammer 40k.
One type of gift I wish I had? Physical gifts. Ever since I was like twelve, I've wanted to be an NBA star. The gigantic height, the unreal athleticism, the insane memorisation ability some of those guys have… I would have wanted to dominate like my favourite player, Lebron James. I never had any of that except maybe the work ethic.
Then I ranked the five status', like this; Knight > Prince > Freeman > King > Slave.
Honestly, being a king was probably a shit ton of work. I wasn't smart enough to be a good king, nor did I like talking to people… I'd much prefer to be myself, doing my own things. I've always wanted to be a warrior. Learning a weapon, mastering it, becoming strong as fuck and then being respected for your skills… it just seemed like the best thing in the world to me. Being an athlete was the closest thing to it nowadays… but the guys back then? They were cold motherfuckers.
I've always wanted to be like that.
My favourite weather condition? Rain… it's strangely calming to me.
Lastly, a creature I'd like to ride? This shit so simple… dragon, duh. Imagine soaring through the sky with a massive flamethrower? How cool would that be…
After finishing the questionnaire, I sat in silence and wondered what was going to happen.
And then it came to me…
What's the purpose of those questions? Surely, they must mean something…
Zamn.
~
And so… I was born as Edric Storm, bastard of King Robert I Baratheon.