It's been two weeks since I've been here and during those weeks, I never again met the Inuit woman. However, putting that aside, these past two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions, not only for me but also for Zhou Li and Chen Liang, the husband-and-wife duo.
The first roller coaster was that I couldn't talk. Physically, I could but whenever I tried, my body started to shake and an episode would be on the horizon if I didn't stop. Chen Liang had to learn this the hard way, as she wanted me to say something and sadly, such an event ended with both of us in a sad mess that Zhou Li had to come and control. Thus, they stick to having me practice reading and writing and slowly incorporating hand gestures, which I found interesting as they had their own sign language in this world.
The second roller coaster was that I now have insomnia. Every night I would be placed in bed and during those nights I would try to go to sleep but would wake up in a cold sweat and curl up as the episode coursed through my body. Each time, Zhou Li would come from the inner room and sit by me as he put medicine herbs under my nose.
When I would calm down, he would pick me up, which led to our now-daily nights of sitting together to read books at different difficulty levels. Sometimes Chen Liang would wake up as well and make me soup so I could eat and read while she had me on her lap, saying the words silently to me while signing.
However, sometimes the herbs didn't help me. Waking up screaming and body-twitching was close to second on the worst feeling behind literally dying. During those times, I would be able to see or hear nothing, while the feeling of pain and the scent of blood would intertwine with my nervous system, sending me into a frenzy.
Such moments really bring into perspective that I'm no longer in my world but one of cultivation. Especially during some of my worst episodes, when I wake up breathless like nothing could be inhaled, while a furrowed brow Zhou Li on one side and a silent crying Chen Liang on the other hover their hands over me that glowed blue and green, respectively.
These moments made me feel like I went to the past. The times when my dad would hold me down while my mom cried on the phone to whoever they thought could help. Moments when my most vulnerable, my most raw emotions, were exposed and twisted until they formed a rope.
However, I healed from that moment in my life. It might not have been perfect but it was definitely not unsuccessful. Thus, instead of putting much focus on problems that will gradually pass, I focused more on other things.
Like, for example, learning that Zhou Li is a primary water cultivator while Chen Liang is a primary wood cultivator. Both directed their cultivation path to the healing path, based on my observations, as I saw them not use it for anything besides making medicine. I may also be wrong, however, as I don't see them outside this room.
There were other roller coasters too, of course, but those were the main ones. It's only been a few weeks since I've been here so I'm not really fluent or semi-fluent in the language. A language I now know to be called Zhuqili.
However, I can understand the words of certain words, fruits, and phrases, like "it's time to eat" or "it's time to go to bed." It was mainly contributed by the married couple, who have been actively teaching me. It also probably helped that this was my fourth time learning a language, as I had learned English, Mandarin, and Spanish. All languages that required different learning roles.
The most difficult part of my teaching, funny enough, was teaching my name and how to say it. Teaching them my name was like completing a 10,000-piece puzzle with no picture. They had to speak out character sounds, and I would have to pat them when they reached a sound that made my name. To put it in perspective, Zhuqili had 793 character syllables in their alphabet and some of those sounds I didn't even know a person could produce from their mouth.
The couple has honestly been really nice to me since being here. Often times I felt the everlasting emptiness overwhelm me and each time they would comfort me either with sweet words like Chen Liang or by gentle soothing rubs like Zhou Li. Honestly, they were like an aunt and uncle that you could go to for any support if your parents weren't available. Which I greatly appreciated.
Currently, it is a warm day, with the women outside still calling out to one another. Chen Liang left the room early in the morning, leaving me and Zhou Li in the room as we continued to read while drinking the tea she brewed for us. It's been a couple hours since she left and currently Zhou Li is showing me herbs and naming them while signing.
He went through a basket on his lap before pulling out carrot-looking vegetation from it. However, unlike a carrot, this plant had a white body and light blue leaves. Coldness wafted from it, along with the scent of a type of peppermint freshness. Taking a big whiff of the smell instantly cleared up my nose and caused the pain in my back to loosen up a bit.
He said something while signing that I easily translated to "Ice Soothing Root." A name that was direct and straightforward, not only by looks but also by its medical effects. I wrote down what I believe was the spelling with a paint brush on gray stocky paper. Stopping and sounding out what he just said in my head, I wrote what I believed matched up with the sound. Finally, I wrote out characters that looked to be one word that was written from right to left. The characters looked unsteady and unsure, the only positive being that at least they were readable.
Zhou Li looked down at my unbalanced characters before picking up his own brush to write below the correct spelling of the name. He repeated the name after he finished writing, sounding out each syllable that made it while signing it.
I copied his signing and sometimes he would stop me to fix my hands before having me do it again. After multiple tries, he finally nodded and tapped the paper with his index finger, signaling me to rewrite the name correctly this time.
Nodding, I took my time writing it out, fully engraving the word in my head. Just as I finished writing, the door to the room opened and a black Chow Chow came prancing in, instantly coming over to me to lay down by. I chuckled before patting the big boy, who hummed in contentment. Chen Liang came in after him, holding a grocery-size woven bag, before closing the door. Her brown eyes immediately looked over at me as a wide grin crossed her face.
"Ignis!" She spoke excitedly before talking rapidly. I couldn't understand anything of what she was saying and she didn't notice until Zhou Li said something, which made her stop and look at me with an apology expression.
"I've got you a gift." She spoke slowly so I had time to process the words she was saying. I nodded my head to show that I understood, which made her chuckle. Sitting down by me, she rummaged through her bag before pulling out a wooden box.
The box wasn't big, probably around half a foot wide and a foot in length. Its thickness was the biggest thing, as it was around a foot and a half tall. It smelled of rosemary, and when I took it after being offered it by Chen Liang, the weight caused my hands to sink a bit.
"Open it." She said it giddily, and abidingly, I opened the clasp that closed the box and slowly opened it. There, on a red cushion, lay a beautiful mask that looked to be of a feline. The mask was black and on it was a gold lining that made up patterns of a tiger. On the forehead were two small golden horns that were like a rhino, while the mask itself wasn't flat but shaped like an actual face.
Gently, I took the mask from the box and held it with both hands in front of me. I shifted it with curiosity, watching as it shimmered in the light that shone through the window. I couldn't help but rub my finger against it, feeling a soft but firm material. I lowered it to my lap as I looked over at Chen Liang, who was smiling proudly, knowing that I liked it.
"You can go outside now." She spoke softly. Which made me give my own little smile. For the past two weeks, I have never left the room, besides the scheduled bathroom trips. It would be a lie if I said I didn't feel stifled staying cooped up in here. My only saving grace from losing my mind to pure loneliness was that at least one of the husband-wife duo would stay with me, making sure I wouldn't be alone.
I wasn't ignorant of the reason why I couldn't leave the room. They knew and I knew my looks were rare, probably being the only one in the world, if not the world, then this city. I was lucky enough that Chen Liang and Zhuo Li didn't have a negative reaction to my looks after realizing I wasn't covered in dirt or paint. If I got out there now with no means of hiding my looks, I would probably be a spectacle. Whether in a positive light or a negative one, both weren't good for my well-being.
"Wear it?" Chen Liang asked and when I nodded my head, she took over the mask and placed it on my face after some adjustments. I thought the mask was a little too big until it started to get warm, at which point her hand instantly grabbed mine as I panicked a little.
Slowly, the mask started to morph, similar to that of liquid elasticity, as it twisted to fit my face like muscles on bone. I felt it expand to wrap around the back of my head, covering my hair, before slowly the heat began to cool down. The whole process took at most a minute. When it was done, it didn't feel like a mask was on my face. I still felt the sun's rays and my breath didn't cloud my face due to the barrier.
"Its a-." Chen Liang said a word I didn't know. I signaled to her my confusion and she made an oh sound before saying the word again before pulling on her skin. Oh, so it's a Skin Mask.
I couldn't help but marvel at the straight-forwardness of the Zhuqili language once more. She signed the word to me before grabbing a new piece of paper and writing it out. Zhou Li and I once again resumed our study session alongside Chen Liang and the Chow Chow dog, whose name was Po.
I forgot that the mask was on my face until Chen Liang asked me if I wanted to go outside. Nodding my head, she eagerly took out a black Hanfu with a yellow stitch of scenery from her bag.
I let her dress me up like a doll to her heart's content. After tying the belt securely, she went back in her bag to pull out the black gloves and yellow Hanfu boots. Placing them on me, Chen Liang had a satisfied smile on her face before looking at Zhou Li.
"Handsome?" She asked cheekily, and the man laughed gently, nodding his head while he repeated the word back to her in confirmation. This little interaction is something I witness daily now. Chen Liang was very curious about my looks at first. Often times, she would hold onto my hand and just look at my skin tone and every time she would call me beautiful. When she saw me retwist my locs for the first time, she sat by me quietly, watching me with focus and curiosity.
The second time, I retwisted since I couldn't do it as well as I would have liked the first time. She sat down holding a jar that she opened, which turned out to be a type of gel-like texture cream. She watched me retwist one loc before using the cream and copying what I was doing to another loc. The loc she retwisted looked good and when I expressed that to her, she smiled proudly before doing the rest. I truly believe that was the day that we finally clicked and we have been in a comfortable mood since.
Seeing that I was all covered up, Chen Liang held my hand as we walked to the door. I'm starting to feel kind of nervous but feeling the hand that held mine shake, my nerves seem to have dulled out as I look up at the woman who was staring at the door with such tensity; it was like how my grandma would be when she was watching her soap operas.
Behind us, I heard Zhuo Li stand up and walk to us as he went to his wife to give her shoulder a squeeze before he held my other hand. She looked over at him with gratitude before breathing in and finally opening the door.
The hallway still looked the same since the first time I saw it—white walls and columns with blue trimming that decorated it. It looked well maintained, as I didn't see a single crack or chip in the exterior as we walked down the hallway. However, in the courtyard, I could not say the same as we heard talking, laughing, and sounds of rustling and clanging. When the courtyard was finally in our sight, tables were set out and people either sat or stood around in a circle, leaving the middle empty, where two men were fighting.
One man is dressed in a purple Hanfu with green embroidery, and in his hand is a sword that looks like it was made out of bamboo. Each swing he waved brought a feeling of freshness from newly born plants but the damage was evident as his opponent, who wore a blue Hanfu that has a spear as a weapon, was pushed back out of the circle, groaning out in pain as wounds started appearing on his skin and clothes.
Chen Liang clenched my hand as the spectators exclaimed and clapped, while the winner put away his sword and gave a bow. One of the people who seemed to be the most surrounded was applauding the loudest, making him very different compared to the other people, if not including his big body and muscular frame that looked similar to a boxer's. The man clapped before his amber eyes looked up to look at Zhou Liang, who stood by me with an expressionless face.
A wide smile spread on the man's face as he called out to Zhou Liang before talking rapidly. I could only go by the man's hand gestures of what he was saying, which wasn't a lot to go by as his hands moved as fast as his words. When he was done speaking, Zhou Liang shook his head while he declined something before speaking in complicated words.
The man displayed a disappointed expression before he spoke again and the environment became quieter as the two conversed. The people in the courtyard watch this exchange with calculating eyes behind false faces. An expression I would often see in my neighborhood.
I looked up at Chen Liang, who, the first time I saw her, had an equally expressionless face that matched her husband's. She gave off a cold feeling and aware of my gaze, she gave my hand a gentle squeeze, which I reciprocated.
The two men's conversation only halted as footsteps and childish laughter were heard before a group of around 12 children came from the front gate. The children's ages were around 8 years old, the youngest looking no older than 5 and the oldest at 11.
You can see the power difference in the small group as most of the children fawned over a little girl who looked to be nine and had a similar appearance to the bulky man, which was proven right as she called out her father cheerfully before running over to the man, who crouched so she could wrap her arms around his neck.
"How are you, princess?" The man asked, finally saying something that I could understand. She said good before whispering something in his ear as her eyes peeked to look at a boy who wore purple robes and looked to be eight.
Said boy stood by the man with the bamboo sword and it was obvious they were related, as the boy looked like a younger version of the man, besides having eyes that looked pure black. As if knowing he was being talked about, the boy shifted his body another way, which caused his eyes to look at me.
When his eyes met mine, I realized that I was incorrect. His eyes weren't black but a very deep blue, which you could only see if the sun hit them like it was doing now. The boy stared at me before giving me a small smile.
A vague shadow outlined the boy at the moment. Except this boy didn't have robes on, long hair, or blue eyes. This boy wore basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He had short hair and brown eyes that looked nearly black.
My heart raced before calming down as gradually the visual of the boy went away, once again returning to the boy with blue eyes. Looking down to the floor, I couldn't help but mock myself for thinking that there was resemblance between the two people, especially when they look way different. Thinking about who the outline was caused my mood to instantly dip. However, this time I didn't enter an episode, and my emotions seemed to have dulled a bit.
Looking up, the boy looked at me with curiosity while I looked at him and everyone around him, now in pure boredom. I didn't want to stay here watching a classic scene you often see in novels. I would rather go look at the market, which Po, who was sitting beside me, agreed to spiritually as he huffed before lying down. I wish I could lie down.
I spaced out a bit before both of my holding hands were squeezed, and when I came back to reality, the jumbo-looking man was looking at me with scrutiny, along with everyone else. Such attention only made me roll my eyes while looking down to the ground.
I guess they were already talking about me as the man asked, "Why is he all covered up?" Zhou Li said something about a skin condition, which made the man nod slowly, his amber eyes looking me up and down before a smile spread on his face. "Why have you been hiding him this whole time, Li? He and Zhou Mei could be friends. Princess has been lonely at home." I believe he said it, with the context clues of the words I did understand.
Zhou Li said something about being tired, which caused the man to hum. Zhou Li then mentioned the market to the man, which instantly brought me out of my bored mood as I subconsciously tugged at his hand.
The mention of the market brought the girl, Zhou Mei, to perk up as she looked over at her dad, saying she wanted to go, which then made the other kids say they wanted to go as well. Zhou Li said something, sounding exasperated with the matter, but one look at the girl's puppy eyes ended up with him, Chen Liang, myself, Po, and four female attendants and 12 children who kept chattering while we rode on a big, fully seated cart that was being moved by four horses.
To say I was bamboozled was putting it nicely. The cart didn't have a roof, letting the fresh air blow against us softly as we made steady progress on the graveled road. The seats were on the edges of the cart, leaving the middle empty of space, where the 12 children currently sat as they chatted with one another. Chen Liang and I sat on one side with Po lying by my feet while Zhou Li sat on the other side, burning under the glare Chen Liang was sending him across the way.
We were supposed to go to the little market that was in the city gates but Zhou Mei wanted to go to the bigger one that was in the city next door, which Zhou Li hesitatingly agreed to under the scowl of his wife. Which now leads to this situation of one begging for forgiveness with his eyes and the other refusing to let up her flames.
I watched the showdown in amusement but had to cut the popcorn eating to a short as the kids kept looking at me with the words "Come join us" in big letters on the top of their heads. I thought for a bit before I shifted my back towards them to not see it anymore as I looked at the environment around us. I don't have the patience currently to even entertain the idea.
The environment was beautiful. The blue sky was bright with white clouds, the tree leaves shook in the wind, and the grass and bushes that hid the critters from view looked like emeralds under the sun. The only noise you could hear here was birds chirping and tree branches shaking.
It was like a fairytale, but I miss the sounds of a variety of music and people laughing and talking in multiple languages. I miss the sounds of honking, whether it be from an annoyed person or a person who was greeting someone. I miss the towering buildings that looked beautiful lit up once night hit. It's beautiful here but so was being back home.
Lucky for me, I didn't feel an episode coming but the emptiness in my chest roared to life and I had to breathe through the will of crying. This feeling always left me wanting company but the thought of people talking to me made me feel uncomfortable.
Suddenly I felt a hand rub my back, making me look over at Chen Liang, who faces her body my way. Her eyes look at me with concern as her other hand rubs against my mask, where my eye would be. She didn't have to ask me to nod my head, telling her I was okay. She gave me a weak smile before joining me in looking at the scenery in tranquility.