In the middle of the night, where the moon was cartoonishly big and bright while the stars weren't dots but like those of drawings, I stood there in front of a large red and white-striped tent with dark blue frills at the ends of each sheet. I have never been to a circus before, but if someone were to tell me to imagine the tent, this would be an exact copy of it.
People were walking towards the tent, which was the only thing that was glowing in the dark street. They all wore dark-themed, ornate western outfits with exaggerated masquerade masks on their faces. Soft murmurs sounded from them, but no matter how close they got to me, I couldn't understand what they were saying. However, the biggest oddity is that, despite this being a circus, I can only see adults, with no children in sight.
Suddenly, my wrist was grabbed, and I was being pulled into the tent. I instinctually started struggling, but when I looked at who was holding my hand, I saw no one there. Startled, I was pulled until I was standing in front of the chairs that made the audience's seating. I was close to the wall that separated the act from the people, even blocking some people's view of the future show.
Inside, the tent looked disproportionate compared to the outside. It is much taller and wider. The size looked almost equal to an opera house and the way it was built was similar as well. The "stage" was on a slightly lower level; that way, the audience has a certain height advantage. The audience's chairs wrapped half-way around it like a half-done coliseum.
When I looked back, there were three floors of seating. The ground level was where I stood and had the most chairs. The second level had balconies that looked to be more spacious compared to the first, and the third floor had personal balcony boxes. Up there, I saw small groups of people in each room talking to one another as they tapped Champaign glasses. Among all three floors, they were the ones who were moving and talking the loudest.
However, no one let out a complaint as the first floor sat there with an obedience-like stillness and the second floor softly chatted with one another. My mind struggled to think rationally about what was happening, but it was like I had drunk an entire bottle of moonshine. My thoughts seem to overlap each other, while some thoughts seem to just disappear.
Abruptly, two spotlights turned on and the rest of the lights turned off. The two spotlights seemed to wonder around before they settled onto the middle, where a familiar, tall, anomalous man stood, except he had a mask that covered his face like that of a joker on a deck of cards. In this setting, I finally understood that his outfit was meant to be that of a ringmaster.
"Hello everybody! I welcome you to The Circus! I hope everyone is doing well." He announced. His voice seems to float in the wind as it spreads to every corner of the space. The audience behind me started murmuring before they stopped, because of the Ringmaster raising his hand.
Seeing everyone quiet down, the man hummed in delight before he continued speaking, "We ladies and gentlemen have a special guest in the audience tonight." His face turned in my direction. Even if he's wearing a mask and I'm wearing one as well, I can still feel ants crawling on my body from his stare, causing me to shiver. My feet felt like chains wrapped around them, as I couldn't move from the spot.
"He is someone very special to me. A perfect completion to my collection that I've been looking for all these years. My new pet that will match our lovely White." He spoke softly, yet the audience acted like they heard the most divine news they had ever heard as they applauded and cheered.
The man basked in the audience's enthusiasm for a bit before once again raising his hand, which made the audience quiet. He continued, "To celebrate such an auspicious occasion, let me tell you all a story." The crowd seemed to get instant vigor suddenly as they sat up straight, even leaning forward in rapt attention.
The Ringleader coughed before he spoke in a compulsory tone. "Once upon a time, there was a boy who was abandoned by the world. Everyone and everything left him to fend for himself in the cruel world." Magically, I saw his mask's face change to show a sad joker face, and I heard people murmur a sad tone behind me. The entire atmosphere made my body feel a type of repellent, but no matter how much I tried to move, it wouldn't budge.
"However, one day, the boy was picked up by a man in a mask. The man spoke in a language the boy had never heard before, but the boy chose to grab the man's hand as the man led him to the middle of a field where a red and white tent stood high and mighty." The Ringmaster looked around the audience, letting them talk to one another before he continued.
"It wasn't until later, when the boy learned the language called English, which comes from a country called England, that he found out the tent was called The Circus." My heart skipped a beat. I did think that the world here was strange.
Its key factor was that it was despite being an ancient Chinese world, it had some slight changes. Like the language being something else, for example, but the main distortion was some of the modern uptakes it has, like the hospital.
I couldn't finish the thought as they once again mixed with one another as the Ringleader continued, "There the man taught the boy his trade, showing how he ran his shows and what they represented, until eventually the boy turned into a man. At first, the newly grown man felt pleasure in bringing happiness to the crowd and loved how everyone smiled, but then he noticed something." He paused dramatically.
The sound of a piano started to play out. Its music notes were on the darker side as the Ringleader whispered, "He saw that not everyone wasn't enjoying it. The kids loved it, but the adults looked bored." The mask face slowly changed to anger. "They wanted something more. Something more exciting. Thus, the man looked and looked until he met a person in black."
Slowly, the face turned into an evil smile. "He told the man that the best way to entertain is to have something more—blood pulsing, more dangerous, more unique." The crowd behind me started to vibrate and I could finally move. Not sparing another look, I ran to the way I entered.
Behind me, I heard a laugh as the Ringleader exclaimed, "Thus, I created new games! I went around collecting interesting-looking people, but you all love the children. You love how vulnerable they are as they go through our special games!"
I reached the exit but the piece of cloth was like 500 pounds, as no matter how much I tried to pry it, it wouldn't move. "So I'm so excited for you to meet a child whose looks differ from the rest of the world." I felt my heart drop.
Behind me, I heard footsteps come up to me and my feet were once again bound to the floor. My heart was pounding and my body started shaking. "A person who smells like the other place." The footsteps stopped behind me and a breath tickled my ear. "A child, I hope, looks like the night sky."
A long, slim but heavy hand gripped my shoulder and before he could put pressure on me, a bright light shined from my chest and a scream sounded from behind, causing everything to shake and turn dark.
"It's okay, Black. I enjoy a good game of hide-and-seek." I heard, before I felt my body fall to the ground.
I let out a silent gasp when I woke up. The surrounding bed is soaked in sweat and pain shot through my body, causing me to shake. A damp, cold towel wiped against my forehead, causing me to look over. A tired-worn Chen Liang looked down at me with worried eyes. But this is a daily thing now whenever I try to sleep. At least I'm not a crying mess now.
"But you're causing her to worry. Why are you so useless?" I pursed my lips at the thought. Since the accident my emotions have been on an all-time high and negative thoughts been appearing because of it.
They became more frequent lately and I've been trying to show that I'm fine to Chen Liang and Zhou Li in efforts to not freak them out any further. I already caused them enough stress as is.
I sighed, ignoring the pain, as I got up with her help. A clatter hit my lap and when I looked down, it was the remains of the necklace. I looked up to Chen Liang, who looked at the necklace like it was the devil, but when she looked up at me, she gave me a tight lip smile before whispering, "We will get you another one."
She wanted to pick me up, but I shook my head in refusal as I slid off the bed and walked towards the inner room, where a warm tea was already there waiting for me in my spot. Plopping myself down next to Zhou Li, who gave me a book based on animals that can be used for healing, I leaned back onto the wall behind me.
It's been a couple of days since the hospital accident. White, who started it all, disappeared from her room in thin air on the same day and since then I have been having similar nightmares. I don't know if I should be happy that my blood-chasing dreams are now psychopathic Ringleader-chasing dreams or not.
Since then, the household has been under complete lockdown. The head madam of the household, Madam Wang Nuo, is pretty famous for her talismans and relic-making, from what I've heard since living here. After hearing what happened, she immediately came over to visit me with a silver-chained red relic jewel like a ruby in her hands.
"This is a shield that will protect you when something with evil intentions wants to touch you. It will guard you until we make it to you. Wear it at all times, Little Ignis." She murmured while placing the protection necklace around my neck. Now that necklace is in pieces in Chen Liang's hands after having to shield me from many night terror battles.
It was the first time I met Madam Wang Nuo. Since she has been in isolation most of the time, I've been here, working on something that needed her full attention. She looked to be in her late twenties, with lighter brown hair that was tucked in a bun with golden hairpins* and a hair-dress* that had complementary green jewels embedded into it. Her soft, round face looked as if it had been painted on, as beautiful red covered her pale cheeks, eyes, and lips.
Her husband, who is Zhou Li's brother and Zhou Mei's father, Zhou Jian, is famous for being a sword cultivator and has invited volunteers to guard the halls. I wouldn't know they were there if not for the daily check-ins they do with Zhou Li. They were quiet and hid in every corner besides our room, which was surrounded by Wang Nuo's talismans.
I sighed as I rubbed the back of my neck from looking at the book for so long. The situation I'm in is nothing but messy and uneasy. I'm basically in a horror movie right now and I really don't want to face the stereotype. I have already died once.
A sound of movement brought my attention to the side where Chen Liang sat down with the products to do my hair. Smiling, she waved me towards her, which I immediately did, as this became a stress reliever for us for a couple of days.
For me, it's the familiarity of having someone do my hair and for her, it's a way to affirm that I'm here and safe. My hair has already been re-twisted, but she didn't care as she played with my many locs that have grown towards my collar bone already.
Running her fingers through my hair, she whispered, "What should we do today? Ponytail? Half up and half down?" I signed that she could do anything she wanted, which made her think for a bit before deciding to do a ponytail. She put something moisturizing on my scalp and massaged it in before doing the same with my locs. I instantly unwind with her touch, sighing out in relaxation when she massages certain spots in my head.
Grabbing most of my locks, leaving the two front locs out, she grabbed a gold ornament which was used to clasp around my hair. After fixing it a bit and moving around the strands, she finally said it was done after deeming it looked nice. I reached out to touch it, moving my hand until I touched the clasp and feeling the ridges where images were etched into it.
"It's a tiger. I hope it protects you from anything that gets in your way, Ignis." Chen Liang explained softly as she wrapped her arms around me. "I cannot lose you too." Her voice took on a venerable tone.
"She doesn't want to lose her replacement."
I silently inhaled a breath, trying to calm myself while I patted her arm as another pair of hands rubs my cheekbones. Zhou Li looked at me with concern in his eyes. He's been stressed the whole time, practically glued to me like his wife. I used one of my hands to hold his, too.
We stayed this way for a bit before once again semi-relaxing while we read books. When morning came, Chen Liang immediately exited the room before quickly coming back with a new necklace that she directly placed around my neck. This time the jewel's color was a darker red, like a red-violet.
"Sister Nuo made it stronger this time." She whispered, absently patting the necklace for a bit before looking me in the eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?" I thought a bit before slowly agreeing.
"He still took me to the tent and told me the same story. The environment this time, however, looked more unrealistic compared to the other times. It looks more like a drawing done by Zhou Mei." I described jokingly, trying to relieve the strain on her forehead from her scrunching it. Her face relaxed a little as she laughed faintly.
I hesitated a bit before I continued signing. "However, in the end, he told me something he had never said before." I looked up at her before finishing. "He told me he smelled something on me." I didn't say exactly what he smelled on me, but it didn't seem like I needed to as I watched as Chen Liang's face went from confusion to slowly a startled realization.
Quickly, she leaned close to me to smell me, then she leaned back, slowly looking over me with perplexity. She looked over my shoulder to probably look at Zhou Li before something seemed to have clicked as I watched as her eyes slowly started to glow a bright green and she once again leaned to me to smell me.
I watched as her face morphed to bewilderment as she quickly leaned back and looked at Zhou Li. She looked between him and me before instantly getting up and walking around the room, collecting herbs. She was talking to herself as tears went down her face.
She then came to me and started rubbing different herbs on my body. Each time she rubs an herb on me, she will come close to me to sniff, and each time her face changes to further agitation. The only time she stopped was when Zhen Li said he would go talk to someone, leaving me to observe her and her to continue her rubbing act.
"You knew?" I signed. I looked at her face, as something seemed to shift in my mind. The feeling felt weird, but I couldn't pay much attention to it as I watched the woman in front of me stop to look at my hands in silence, tears still falling from her face.
"You knew." I signed as a statement now. Slowly, she wiped her eyes before looking up to meet mine.
"She's planning to betray us when we last expected." I slowly blinked at the thought.
"Yes, I knew." Her body became tense as she finally confirmed.
"She's a liar. How many other things did she hide from us?" I thought before belittling myself for thinking that as I instead asked, "When? Why didn't you say anything? Do anything?" I asked with genuine curiosity. During this whole time, I didn't feel that they knew, or maybe it was that I didn't really bother looking. A lot of skills I have developed throughout my life seem to have dulled after my death.
For example, second-guessing a person's intent or thinking about how my actions may affect me. I may just be very lucky that I haven't died yet again.
"Not yet, but maybe soon. You placed all this trust in her and she hid something so big about you." I tensed up for a second before forcing myself to calm down. Trying to calm myself from any further negative thoughts.
Seeing me relax, her own tense body started to do so as well. We sat there in quietness before she spoke. "I vaguely knew since the beginning and officially knew when you had your first bath." She paused a bit before taking a deep inhale before further explaining, "Leaving a healthy child in the middle of nowhere happens, but not here. We have close to nonexistent homelessness because of programs that the Zhou family created. Thus, it would make no sense, but I ignored it because..." She stopped so she could figure out her words.
"Because you wanted a child to replace the one you lost." I signed directly, and the action surprised me. I did think about it, but I wouldn't say it out loud. As I witnessed her flinch in response to my words, a wave of remorse washed over me, and I felt compelled to apologize. Despite this, she nodded and let out a laugh tinged with self-mockery.
"Yes, because I was looking for something that would replace my dead child." She confirmed as another self-mockery laugh escaped her. "Of course I had doubts—many, actually, but looking down at you each time just stopped me from going further into the thought process. You were like me. A person who's alive but does not feel like it."
"I still don't feel like it." The thought flashed through my head, causing a slight pain in my chest, and a minor episode to start, but I slowly relaxed as Chen Liang's hand made it to my back. She rubbed for a bit before continuing, "When we washed you and saw your skin tone, that was when we officially knew. I will tell you the truth: I didn't care. I was just happy that I had a child again. Zhou Li, however, was more reasonable."
She took a deep breath before determination was set in her face. "You see, people coming to our world from another world is a hidden open secret that people know. Most of them look like us, while others do not. However, whether they look like us or not, it doesn't take away that the majority of people who have come to our world were people who were not good."
"She doesn't think we're a good person. We're villains in her eyes."
"She doesn't think we're villains!" I retorted myself, but I felt insane afterwards. I lick my lips while clenching my shaking hand in my lap and out of view.
Her face turned stone from mentioning it, but it melted away when she looked at me. "Zhou Li believed you were like such people." My heart palpitates and my thoughts seemed to drown me, but I didn't show anything when she examined me after saying that.
In all honestly, I agree with Zhou Li. It's better to be safe than sorry. However, in the state I'm in, all reasonable thought seemed to be blurring, and sad and angry accusation was overtaking me, but once again I didn't let anything show. Seeing nothing, she gave me a small smile with a hidden apology in it.
"What changed his mind?" I asked through much force. Not noticing my condition, Chen Liang thought for a bit before laughing, surprising me, but it ultimately softened my thoughts a bit and softened the mood.
She finally said, "Well, many things. The first one, which is a kind of graphic in nature, is your mental state. We are doctors; we know when someone has gone through something bad." I hummed a bit because my mental state is pretty bad, and a certain ringmaster wasn't making it any better. "We also did a test."
"A test?" I asked a bit before thinking, and then a memory finally fell into place. "The market." I answered myself.
She nodded her head as she confirmed, "Yes, the market. We actually had a different plan than the one you experienced. I didn't agree with the new plan, which was to have the attendees leave the children alone for a bit. Zhou Mei has a weird ability to bring chaos to her." Which honestly was true from the couple of months I met the little girl. I'm surprised she hasn't been in a coma yet. Though having a relic master mother, sword master father, and a doctor uncle and aunt may have helped to avoid that outcome.
"Is that why you were mad at him? I thought you were mad because he invited people to our plans." I laughed a bit, which made me think a little more positively, remembering the buttering-up scene between the wife and husband. Po, who was sleeping in the room, came wobbly in, probably woken up by the noise. With a huff, he laid down beside us, humming as I patted him.
Chen Liang laughed too before rolling her eyes playfully. "Zhou Li has been inviting people with us before we even became lovers. I'm already used to it, but yes, that's why I was mad. However, I knew he was doing something that would be beneficial for everybody."
"So... what was the verdict?" I asked. I looked up at her from Po. My heart was now pounding, and I'm sure that even she could hear it as she was looking down at me with a soft smile as she opened her arms, which I leaned into, wrapping my arms around as she did the same.
"You passed with flying colors. Honestly, I watched as you looked at Zhou Mei and the other children as they were, of course, led away by trouble. I knew you didn't really want to go, but you did, and you protected them even though you were much smaller. Truthfully, neither me nor Zhou Li knew you were going to beat them up, but it was fun to watch." Chen Liang laughed, causing me to laugh too.
"It felt good too," I couldn't help but think, but I signed instead, "Is that all that made your decision that I'm a good person?"
She thought before shaking her head, "No, that's not all. You have a gentle but strong soul. It's easy to see when you're comforting others or when you're learning. It's also easy to tell you are a young person; of course, not three years old, but me and Zhou Li rounded to around 20 years old."
With a nod of my head, I confirmed my age while signing, "I am 18." I didn't mention how I just turned 18 when I came here, wanting to keep the mood warm. "You two didn't feel weird helping an 18-year-old? You two have kind've treated me like an adult, but you treated me more like a child." I remember the times they helped me with clothes I couldn't put on, but they would leave me alone so I could wash myself with no help.
Chen Liang coughed a bit before looking around, and then her embarrassed eyes met my intrigued ones. "Well, we are old. Don't let our appearance fool you, Ignis. We are probably three times as old as you think we are. Zhou Li and I are in our later hundreds." My eyes widen, causing her to laugh. "To us, you are still a child."
She sighed a bit before looking to the side. Following her sight, we looked at the beautiful wooden cabinet. She whispered, "Our son was our first child. We are practically new parents still, so we might've gone a little overboard." She looked back at me and said, "Even if you are not my child, you are still the child of someone else. No child deserves to be alone and not loved."
"Do you actually believe that?" The thought stung right through me, making me dazed, but I shook it off and just relished the care that I could see right now. A slight pain started pounding on my back, but I didn't care. I didn't want to calm down these feelings. Tenderly, Chen Liang's finger wiped away the tears I didn't know I had shed.
We sat in quietness for a bit as I silently cried before I started taking regulative breaths to relax myself when I felt my episode was expanding. "Thank you two for taking care of me. I don't know what I would do if you hadn't picked me up." I signed right before the door of the room opened. Chen Liang and I looked over to see Zhou Li come in quickly before closing the door behind him.
In quick motions, he sat by us, and it took all of me to not flinch back at him as negative thoughts flashed through my head of his test. His eyes were red as he opened his hand in front of me, showing two dangling earrings.
The part where it pierces the ears were little hoops and hanging on the hoops was a golden chain with a small white sphere near the top, a green jade sphere with a blue design in the middle and a bigger golden sphere at the end.
"These earrings block a person's smell, small sounds to their surroundings, and aura. Older sister Wang Nuo suggested just for you. You want to put them on?" He asked gently. Nodding my head, he leaned closer and pierced my ear-holes, which were slowly closing. "I'm sorry." I heard him whisper.
"Are you really or will you test me again?" I felt my throat clogged and felt myself get dizzy. Slightly, I moved my head to look over at him, and my vision clouded for a bit before it became clear again. Looking at a concern, Zhou Ji, I berated myself innerly for thinking that while I shook my head as I signed, "For what?"
He glanced at my hands before looking up to put the earring in my other ear-hole. "Well, not many appreciate being tested on without their knowledge and also for hurting your ears." He whispered it with a hint of joking while rubbing my earlobe, which did sting a bit.
I gently tapped against the earrings that now gently swing beside my head. The material felt tough and smooth, like marble. "It's okay; I don't mind. You were protecting your family. I would've done the same."
A little smile spread across his face as he hugged me from Chen Liang's lap. "My brother and Sister Nuo also know. Well, Sister Nuo felt you when you first entered the city and she told my brother. However, both deemed you to be good, so no worries." He added the last sentence quickly, noting how I was getting tense.
I slowly nodded, not wanting to get into how the woman was basically a homebound god with how far her perception was. Scary as hell. Let me make a mental note to be on her bad side; otherwise, I'm going to be best friends with the mole rats.
"Sister Nuo has also requested that we go to her when we're free." Zhou Li said as he leaned back and looked at Chen Liang as they did their little telepathic communication. I wonder if that is a universal love thing or something.
My mom and dad did it often, though it was mostly used to judge certain family members at our yearly cookout. Poor Aunt Georgia couldn't match clothes to save her life.
Chen Liang stood up with me in her arms as Zhou Li grabbed my mask and placed it on my face, where it slowly molded around my head. I felt the familiar warm current that the mask gives me, making my emotional mood finally settle down. Grabbing my shoes and gloves, he slid them on before looking up at me as I pointed to my mask.
Knowing what I meant, he explained, "We noticed your mental state is not in the best condition. We had Sister Nuo place a Peaceful Rest Engravement on your mask. It helps keep you mentally calm to a certain degree."
Without much thought, I touched the smooth mask, sliding my fingers over it before sliding up with the movement of the horns, where I finally found engravements that felt more like designs. After touching for a while, I signed a "thank you."