My head felt light as my neck twisted to cause a slight ache in my shoulder. My head rose with ease, but my neck felt a stiffness that numbed the senses from feeling any form of control. My hand pressed on the side of the neck with my palm tightening the grip to feel muscle respond with a numb ache that triggered my left shoulder. Sitting under my duvet with my eyes slowly widening feeling the light rush into my vision flooded with a soft haze of strawberry red with a pale long slender crude painting of a petal. I threw my body from my bed feeling the duvet slip its grip on my lower body to fall sinking in its corner onto the floor. I slowly stepped across the room but stopped to look beside me to see a jersey hung on the end of my bed. It was a light emerald green knitted cotton with its collar and wrists woven of interloping patterns with small round bright yellow circles knitted into the imagery. I reached out to feel my fingers touch the jersey from the wrist raising along the sleeve realising that it was my favourite. It wasn't my favourite necessarily, but its existence carried a lot of emotions and memories that were brought by my grandmother. It was a long since I had seen it, my hand withdrew feeling my eyebrows lower with my lips slightly parted noticing a quiet breath that exercised confusion. The jersey was given away to a charity drive but now lays before my bed. A gift from her mother would be wrapped or given in her presence but strewn on the edge of her bed like it was torn off after a long day was strange. I raised my hand to push my hair back, but my neck felt a subtle quick breeze shift. My hands feel on my head in a panic to feel tendrils of hair fill my palms and poke between my fingers. My palms ran through my scalp pushing through clumps of hair noticing the length barely fell past my ear. I hastily stepped towards the bedroom door to grab the doorknob with my nose touching the wooden frame. Pulled the door open to run down the hall towards the bathroom, Inside the cool tight room of ceramic tiles that rose from the floors onto the halls at shoulder height. She slowly stepped into the mirror with her eyes slit with her left eye seeing most of her young pudgy was scrunched weirdly with her hand grabbing a handful of her hair. A young face that had only a single pimple below her nose on the left above her lips and fat chubby cheeks that were light pink. A scream would be perfect for such an occasion, but her eyes widened in terror with a slight tremor while her full lips slowly parted into a wide 'O'. A dream would collapse from her heightened emotion or awareness, her eyes slightly shifted from one side to another to notice something of an abnormal nature. She could feel everything so clearly, that she leaned close to the mirror with a single finger pressing below her eye before pulling her lower eyelid. I watched her lower her pull her finger away only to watch fifteen year-old me lose any sense of bewilderment. "Hey, are you in there? Thank God, be quick so you are ready for school." My mother's voice caused me to release a small chip of a scream. I can hear footsteps seep away along with a scrappy tap of paws from behind the door, I quickly step to the door to open a small crack to see a German Shepard following a woman in a long flowy dress towards the staircase. I would slowly pull the bathroom door closed with my eyes shut and breathily force words out my tight lips. "Uuuuoo, I can't believe…" I couldn't tell if I was feeling frustration or just a sense of embarrassment, but I slowly stepped away from the door to see myself in the mirror. My tight round stomach pushed my pajama shirt out and felt my old insecurities return. The green jersey was worn over the pink shirt to hide my hide stomach, stepped closer to the closet in socks to grab my white tekkies and my bag. I slowly jog down the steps but stop at a few steps near the floor as anxiety seized my heart. My eyes peered across the corridor with knees slightly bent to look into the living room, I just can't really face Mother and…' Before the thoughts was Sammy walking slowly towards the staircase. Her two paws pressed the single step with her hind legs still on the floor, My hands grabbed her head to stroke over his scalp looking into his dark murky eyes. The anxiety fell into a deep endearment that is touched by nostalgia tainted the memory of the last days of her eyes losing the saturation with veiny red infecting the creamy white of the outer edges. I released my hands to descend below as the dog pulled away to run down the corridor towards the kitchen. I slowly walk through the corridor noticing the old clock that was once sold before reaching the archway of the kitchen. Her back turned with long brunette hair that had a lightness that shifted into caramel chocolate under the morning interior light. Her head turned to face me, I couldn't help to notice her wrinkles were just a feint mystery that never seemed to appear by a glance. "Nice, I hope you are this quick all the time." She turns around with a lunchbox with an R20 rand note on the lid held by the thumb. "Here. Let's go" It felt like time moved fast sitting in the backseat looking through the window of my old neighbourhood. "It's so different," I whispered. Seeing a few children walking to school made my heart sink, The large school building came into as the car drove into the parking lot. My mother slowed to a stop and turned around, "Have a nice day," "You too, Mom" I smiled as stepped onto the gravel. I watched the car pull away, still without any idea of how to move from here and my chest heaved with a bit of anxiety. I turned to face the school building, took a deep breath and came to a realization that maybe I should step forward a couple of steps.