Carefully, I wobbled over to the stairs. Carefully, I winced when I took the stairs one step at a time down toward the kitchen.
"Stop there, Yina," said Geannie's voice, her feet coming up the stairs to meet me. Her hands took the shaking tray from me. "Let me do it. What do you need?"
"Need to refill the teapot with more hot water," I said in a thick voice, wiping my eyes with my sleeve now that my hands were free. I sat down on my burning, stinging backside, allowing the pain to remind me that I was still alive. That I was awake. That this wasn't a dream. The momentary coolness of the carpet felt nice on my hot and swollen butt.
"Why do you have to provoke him?" Dr Feng sat next to me on the stairs, while I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the balusters.
"To prove to myself that I'm not a doormat," I opened my eyes to glance at the doctor and then closed my eyes again, "and to tell them that I am sticking to my bottom line."
"You're going to get hurt more this way," Dr Feng said. "He has something on me. I can't report your situation or the abuse. I can only help to patch you up when you get hurt."
"I'll thank you for patching me up ahead of time then," I opened my eyes to smile at the doctor. "What about Geannie?"
"Geannie is involved in the same blackmail problem that I have," Dr Feng sighed. "I'm sorry if you got your hopes up."
In the distance, I heard the sound of the kettle coming to a boil.
"Is life really worth living?" I cocked my head back to see the doctor better.
"Yes," Dr Feng told me in a calm voice after the initial flash of shock from my question. "I believe so. Things will get better."
"Then," I took a few deep breaths, "I'll keep trying for a little longer. I hope," I said when I saw Geannie coming back up the stairs with the tray, "that what you say is true."
I used the balustrade to help me stand up, but my legs did not like me forcing them to go up stairs or to take any weight. It felt like the caning on my swollen tush had broken skin and my underwear had gotten stuck to the wound. I couldn't help shaking. I was shaking so hard that I could barely keep my balance. Dr Feng held me steady for a moment until I found my balance and wasn't shaking so hard.
"I'll take the tray," Geannie gave me a small smile and gently pushed me behind her when we were walking back toward the room down the corridor. "You concentrate on walking without falling."
At the door, we knocked and re-entered the room to be treated with deafening silence. All eyes were on me and the eyes of the boys seemed to be a mix of alarm and anxious begging. Especially when they saw Geannie helping me carry the tray. Mr Jun's expression had darkened and Mrs Jun's eyes looked at me with alarm.
"Geannie, I can take it from here," I said after a moment of trying to read what they were saying through their eyes and body language. "Thanks for your help. Please go back downstairs for now."
Geannie furrowed her brows but backed out of the room when the cane in Mr Jun's hand twitched.
"Ok," she said in a very soft voice.
I wobbled and lurched with the tea tray, concentrating very hard on not spilling or dropping anything until I managed to safely put the tray down with a sigh. The pain in and between my legs and the burning pain on my backside was no joke.
"Kneel down," Mr Jun said in an ominous voice. "Do you know what you just did wrong, Yina?"
"I obtained help when the Elder Master asked the slave to do it herself," I kneeled and said with alacrity, biting back a yelp when a hand pinched and pulled my ear and then the cane fell on my body in a flurry. I gritted my teeth and tried very hard not to curl up on the floor in defense. Oh. Yes. My sarcasm must have triggered him off. "I apologise, Father," I corrected myself. "I had someone help me in the simple chore when you asked me to do it myself, although I am injured through no fault of my own and can barely walk, nor had a single meal since I was locked in Sihao's room."
And my stomach growled.
The cane paused for a moment and then there was a heavy slap across my face. My right cheek immediately swelled up and I tasted blood in my mouth where the inside of my cheek was cut on my teeth. The smarting and burning pain waited a few seconds before they set in, but my vision blurred for a moment and the tears I had been trying to hold back sprang out as if a dam had let loose. I lay on the floor.
Now, I knew and could see what kind of family I had joined. So this was what the man was really like behind closed doors. He deserved a medal for his acting ability. Poor Mrs Jun. How had she put up with this monster all these years?
"So you're blaming me. Very good," Mr Jun said, while I laid on the floor too stunned and in too much pain to move for the moment. "You disdain to call us your parents and insist on calling yourself a slave? Very well. You can have your wish. You, Meng Yina, are not my, Jun Dalang's daughter-in-law. You are our family slave. You will drop out of university and serve the family in this house. You are forbidden from stepping outside the property or from showing your face to outsiders. Until you learn to behave and serve the tea properly, and show the proper respect as befitting your station, you shall not eat."
Not eat? Confinement? No way.
"Father, no, my good Father," I hurriedly straightened myself and kowtowed repeatedly, thunking my forehead on the floor hard. "Yina was wrong. Yina admits her fault. Please forgive Yina. Please, let Yina serve the tea properly. Yina was wrong. Father, please don't punish Yina anymore."
My real begging was taken for sarcasm and I was kicked across the room.
"Too late!"
Disregarding the pain, my hands shook when I poured the tea and I winced when I spilled some on my hands. I shook it off and continued, bringing the hot teacup to Mrs Jun with a bow.
"Mother, please have some tea."
Mrs Jun took the tea and said, "Good girl," but was interrupted by Mr Jun snatching the teacup from her where he dumped it on my head and threw the teacup at my head.
I had a feeling my scalp was starting to come up in blisters.
I reeled back and then picked up the teacup while I heard the other three clamour at Mr Jun.
"Husband, please have some tea," I brought a cup to Jun Sihao and he took the tea only for it to be snatched from him by Mr Jun and poured on me again and the cup thrown at me.
The tea was scalding hot and my scalp was prickling and crying with more than scalded burning pains now.
"Younger brother-in-law, please have some tea," I tried again with Siming but Mr Jun once more intervened.
I paused for a moment and tried one last cup of tea in a panicked manner, knowing there was no way I was going to be spared tonight.
"Father, please don't be angry with Yina. Yina knows she was wrong. Yina knows her fault. Please don't be angry anymore. Please accept Yina's tea."
I couldn't help resorting to the words of a panicked, pleading slave like in ancient dramas.
"Still making fun of us," Mr Jun snarled, dragging me upright. There was another blow to my face, punches and kicks that made Mrs Jun scream and the boys lunge over with fear. As for me, I thankfully passed out.
Good. A good night's work done. Being a doormat was all well and good until the doormat found that she had a bottom line. And then, forget being a doormat and the most patient and obedient, useless child in the world. I needed to show that I still had my own pride and integrity. I had to show this family that I would not be trampled on and bullied like the worn out doormat they wanted.
I could put up with a lot, but asking me to break my loyalty to my husband and being told I wasn't really married but could be possibly used by all the males in the family until I became pregnant was too much.