The sun was setting, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, as I trudged home after a particularly grueling day at work. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, a bizarre sight greeted me—a glowing figure materialized out of thin air, hovering in front of me like a poorly rendered special effect from a B movie.
"Hey there, buddy!" the figure chirped, its voice reminiscent of a hyperactive game show host. "Long time no see!"
I blinked, rubbing my eyes in disbelief. "Uh, hi?"
The figure bobbed excitedly. "You don't remember me, do you? Classic case of amnesia! Well, guess what? You died!"
I gaped at the figure, half expecting it to whip out a "You're a ghost now!" banner.
"Wait, what?" I spluttered. "I died?"
The figure nodded enthusiastically. "Yep, you kicked the bucket, bit the dust, bought the farm—well, you get the idea. But hey, no need to fret! You've got options."
And then, without warning, it happened. In a moment of pure, unfiltered insanity, I shouted at the top of my lungs,
"YES! I'm dead!!"
The figure recoiled, its glowing form wavering in confusion. "Uh, what?"
Realization dawned on me. Did I just...? "Sorry, sorry!" I stammered, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "It's just, you know, the shock and all..."
The figure cocked its shimmering head to the side, its luminous features contorted in bewilderment.
"Why on earth are you happy about being dead?" it asked, genuine confusion coloring its tone.
I couldn't help but smile at the question, a weight lifting off my shoulders as I considered my response.
"Well, you see," I began, my voice tinged with a newfound sense of liberation, "I'm finally free from the endless grind of being a salesman."
The figure blinked, as if processing my words. "A salesman, huh?"
I nodded, the memories of endless meetings, stressful targets, and relentless pressure flooding back to me.
"Yeah, you know how it is. The constant hustle, the never-ending cycle of chasing after quotas and pleasing clients—it's exhausting."
As I spoke, I could feel the weight of years of pent-up frustration and dissatisfaction melting away. The figure listened intently, seemingly empathizing with my plight.
"But now," I continued, a sense of liberation infusing my words, "all that is behind me. No more early mornings, no more late nights spent poring over sales reports. Just... freedom."
There was a moment of silence as the figure absorbed my words, its ethereal form shimmering in the fading light of dusk.
"Freedom," it echoed softly as if tasting the word for the first time.
I smiled, a sense of peace settling over me. "Yeah, freedom," I repeated, savoring the sweetness of the word on my lips.
And in that moment, as I stood face to face with the cosmic messenger of the afterlife, I realized that perhaps death wasn't the end, but rather a new beginning—a chance to break free from the chains of the past and embrace a future filled with infinite possibilities.
As we stood there, bathed in the gentle glow of twilight, I knew that no matter what lay ahead, I was ready to seize the opportunity to live life on my terms—sales targets be damned.
The figure's words hung in the air, a stark reminder of just how unconventional my reaction was to the whole situation.
"Normally, people I meet are rather excited about being an overpowered individual in another world," it mused, its tone tinged with amusement.
"I've never seen a weirdo like you being happy about being dead."
I couldn't help but chuckle at the figure's candid observation.
"Yeah, I guess I'm not your typical 'isekai' protagonist, huh?"
The figure cocked its head, clearly unfamiliar with the term. "Isekai?"
I waved off the question with a dismissive gesture.
"Never mind. It's just a trope from those fantasy novels and anime where ordinary people get transported to another world and become super powerful heroes," I explained, a wistful smile playing at the corners of my lips.
"But hey, I've always been more of a realist than a dreamer."
The figure nodded, seeming to understand. "I see. Well, each to their own, I suppose."
The figure cleared its throat, interrupting the introspective moment between us, and returned to the matter at hand.
"Anyway," it said, its voice regaining its earlier enthusiasm, "let's get back to the subject at hand: your reincarnation!"
I blinked, the weight of our previous conversation still lingering in my mind. "Right, reincarnation," I echoed, trying to shake off the surrealness of it all.
The figure cleared its throat once more, its glow pulsating with a newfound intensity. "Actually," it began, its voice taking on a solemn tone, "there's one more option you might want to consider. You can choose not just to be reincarnated, but to become a god yourself."
I blinked, the words hanging in the air like a dream. "A god?" I repeated, disbelief coloring my tone.
The figure nodded, its features radiating with an otherworldly power. "That's right. You can ascend to become a deity, with the ability to shape worlds and influence the course of existence itself."
"I want to be reincarnated!"
The figure paused, a flicker of surprise crossing its luminous features, but it quickly regained its composure, seamlessly continuing its explanation as if my outburst had never happened.
However, I was adamant about my decision. "No, I mean it," I insisted, interrupting once again. "I want to be reincarnated."
The figure's glow faltered for a moment, a hint of uncertainty creeping into its expression. "But... why?" it asked, its voice tinged with confusion.
I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts.
"I want a fresh start," I explained, my words coming out in a rush. "I want to live a peaceful life, free from the pressures of being a salesman or anything like it. I want to experience joy, adventure, and fulfillment in a way that I never could in my previous life."
The figure regarded me for a long moment, its gaze penetrating and inscrutable. Then, after a beat, it let out a nervous laugh, as if trying to mask its uncertainty.
As the figure urged me once again to consider the path of godhood, its words dripping with honeyed persuasion, I shook my head resolutely. "No, I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind. I want to be reincarnated."
The figure's eyebrows furrowed in frustration, its glowing form pulsating with agitation. "But why?" it demanded, its voice bordering on desperation.
"Do you not understand the magnitude of the opportunity before you? To become a god—to wield power beyond comprehension?"
I held my ground, unmoved by the figure's pleas. "I appreciate the offer, really, but that's just not what I want," I replied firmly. "I want a simple life, free from the burdens of godhood or any kind of divine responsibility."
The figure's patience seemed to wear thin, its facade of composure cracking under the weight of my refusal.
"But you don't understand," it insisted, its voice taking on a pleading tone. "You have the chance to shape the very fabric of existence itself—to be revered and worshiped by countless beings across the cosmos. Don't you see the potential?"
As the figure's frustration reached its peak, its glowing form seemed to flicker with a menacing intensity. "You fool," it hissed, its voice now laced with a cold edge of menace. "Do you not understand the consequences of your refusal? To deny the opportunity of godhood is to squander the greatest gift ever offered to a mortal."
I shook my head, my resolve unyielding.
"I understand the potential, but that's not the life I want to lead," I said, my voice unwavering. "I want to find happiness in the simplicity of everyday existence, to live a life filled with love, laughter, and peace."
The figure seemed to grow increasingly frustrated, resorting to every persuasion technique in its arsenal—begging, threatening, even resorting to sugarcoated promises of unimaginable power and glory. But despite my best efforts, I remained steadfast in my decision.
As the awkward pause stretched between us, the figure's patience wore thin, its frustration palpable in the charged silence. With a decisive nod, it seemed to come to a sudden resolution.
"Fine," the figure muttered, its voice tinged with resignation. "If you won't choose, then I'll choose for you."
Before I could react, a bright golden circle enveloped me, its radiant light blinding in its intensity. I stumbled backward, a sense of unease creeping over me as I realized what was happening.
"No, wait!" I cried out, but my protests fell on deaf ears as the circle pulsed with energy, engulfing me in its brilliant glow.
And then, in an instant, everything changed. The world around me seemed to fade away, replaced by a swirling vortex of colors and light. I felt myself being pulled in all directions, my senses overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the experience.
When the chaos finally subsided, I found myself standing in a strange new world, surrounded by towering mountains and shimmering lakes. But before I could even begin to comprehend my surroundings, the figure's mocking voice echoed in my mind.
"Looks like you got your wish after all," it taunted, its ghostly form materializing before me with a mischievous grin. "You're a god now, congratulations."
As the figure's mocking tone echoed in my mind, I couldn't contain the surge of frustration and anger bubbling within me. "What the cosmic fuck is this?" I exploded, my voice reverberating through the ether.
The figure's ethereal form flickered with amusement, but I could sense a hint of annoyance beneath its facade. "Language," it chided, its tone dripping with condescension.
I ignored its admonishment, my temper flaring. "Fuck this nonsense!" I raged, gesturing wildly at the unfamiliar landscape surrounding me. "You had no right to do this to me!"
But the figure simply shrugged, its ghostly features twisted in a mocking grin. "You should have thought of that before you refused to make a choice," it retorted, its voice laced with sarcasm. "Now, enjoy your eternity as a god. Or don't, I couldn't care less.
"You son of a bit-!"
As I ranted and cursed at the figure's deceit, a low, menacing growl interrupted my tirade. I froze, my heart pounding in my chest, as a pack of dire wolves emerged from the shadows, their eyes gleaming with hunger.
"What the now?" I muttered under my breath, my frustration boiling over as I faced yet another unexpected challenge.
The wolves advanced slowly, their snarls filling the air with a primal intensity. "Oh, for fuck's sake," I grumbled, bracing myself for the inevitable confrontation.
But even as I prepared to face the ferocious beasts, I couldn't shake the feeling of anger and resentment toward the figure that had thrust me into this perilous situation.
"Fucking cosmic trickery," I muttered, my curses lost in the growls of the approaching wolves.
As the dire wolves approached, their intimidating presence looming over me, I couldn't help but feel a wave of nervousness wash over me. "Good doggies," I stammered.