I let them guide me back home.
I erased, all evidence of tears and sadness. It felt like lying to him but, it was better than the alternative. To have him believe, I cried because of something he might have said or done.
Inside not much has changed.
Ilianna was teaching little Arnold some moves, the two year old enjoyed it without understanding what's happening. They're watched and appreciated by both mom and granny.
Alex was in middle of pleading.
" Please brother, I'll promise I won't go to fight. " - he had his hand together praying, Zephyr looked unconvinced." I'm not even taking weapons just to prove it to you. Let me join you tomorrow. "
" Fine..I don't care. You giving me a headache. " - he finally gave up and massaged his temples. " If..you can convince Demelza than fine."
Alexander looked her wife and she blushed happily. She allowed herself to be lifted like a princess with an excited little scream.
" Little brother? Look after your nephew for an hour will you. I go do some..convincing. hahaha.."
" ..just go."
They left probably return to their own house.
I felt embarrassed..then annoyed at myself once again. I remembered Zephyr carrying me like that. And how his previous look of disappointment maybe wasn't just my imagination.
He played with his daughter and nephew by letting them crawl all over him, tickling in the process filling the house with his laughter.
It was night and he was leaving in the morning.
I wanted to erase my depressing feelings and act like I usually do. I couldn't even initiate a conversation let alone erase anything of any kind.
" Zephyr you sure look full of energy."
Eli sat down in a chair looking over them playing.
" I slept a little earlier.. maybe that."
He shrugged it off but, I saw his eye change and lose some of its shine for a moment.
I also remember that we haven't spoken to each other since we got up from that tree. Say something to him..
But I couldn't find the words.
So just watched them. I cursed my own foolishness not preparing better for something that meant so much to me. And no, I don't mean this damn bikini still in my bag. I didn't prepare emotionally and mentally. I needed to talk to him.
" Zephyr some of the men coming with us tomorrow wants to talk to you. Have some time?"
He looked at me for a little. Say something!
" Sure lead the way Lucian." - he turned from me and kissed Anna before he walked away.
I kept my mouth closed and let him walk out without a word. Once he left, I slumped down my seat. Perfect timing.
" Alright Lylly Wold. Tell me what's wrong." - my mother shook my shoulders a little.
I didn't have the will to recant it again. Eleanor helped me out.
" Ohh..I see. Sweetheart please don't feel that bad about it. Theres plenty of opportunities in the future. " - she sat down and caressed my face. Then pinched it. " ...and you can't blame yourself about his dreams and thoughts he didn't even share with anyone."
" I know you're right mom. So does everyone else. But now it's in my mind so much, I-I can't even talk to him."
Mother walked over and cupped my face.
" My baby..you need to fix your mind then. You can't let this ruin your new relationship. Love extended its hand ..but you need to meet it halfway. If you can't put this behind you it will only gets worse and worse."
If I was afraid and anxious before, her words paralyzed me.
I knew she was right. I need this to pass or my own self consciousness will end our relationship. Look at just what happened now. He looked at me, just silently let me know he wanted my approval even for something small. Instead of a kiss or a word or even a half hearted nod..I did nothing.
My mother hugged me and hummed the same melody she did when, I was a child. It calmed my racing mind.
" I'm gonna fix this. Thanks Mom."
Lucian returned alone.
" Where is Zephyr? "
I stood up so fast it scared the kids and startled Lucian.
" The guys can't let him go." - he gathered himself and poured some water as he talked. " They have questions, they want pointers, they wanna convince him to..umm fight Emet."
" WHAT DID YOU SAY!!??"
I'm not a strong person, Ilianna could take me on but, I did almost lifted Lucian by his collar knocking the water out of hand.
" C-c-calm down..he obviously shut them down. Do you hear me? Helloo ? " - he was flailing around like a fish caught. " Lylly, let me go..."
Of course he wont fight.
He promised. It was his threat of leaving that hopefully cancelled that ridiculous tradition. Still, how dare they push him to fight!??
I let go Lucian and went outside to search for him.
The air was cooling and despite the late hour, people were all around, just talking about tomorrow.
I find him surrounded by idiots, from this far they actually looked like snakes around him.
One noticed me from afar and made Zephyr know. He looked confused at my behaviour change.
I grabbed his hand and dragged him away from those pesky snakes. I took him back where we were a few hours ago. Except now the moons were the only source of light left. I pushed him down the ground, and sat on top.
"You plan to break your promise you made?" - I pushed him down on the grass surprising him, he looked lost.
My poor Zephyr had no idea what I'm talking about.
" Lylly I'm very confused right now.." - he placed his hand on my waist and adjusted his position, lifting me a little. ".. but also very comfortable please dont move a muscle and go on."
His smile was infectious. Just like that all my depressing mood and thoughts were blown away like a lie.
" Stop being charming stupid..you know exactly what, I'm talking about...you're not planning to fight right?"
He turned serious. Then with quick movements he turned our position around.
" I never break my promise to you. Tomorrow I'm delivering food for some ancient monster and that's all. I'll be back before the nightfall."
I know he meant it.
I pulled him on me and kissed him. I let my frustration and fear all go.
I wanted to let him know, I'm not afraid anymore. That I never was..not with him.
Before I could make my intentions clear he stopped my hands.
" My love..its ok..I'm sorry. I know my mood might have made you worried..that I was disappointed.." - he sat up a little and rested my hand on his chest . "..and maybe, I was little. But, I wanted you to know that it's okay.. I want our first time to be perfect. A bed.." - he looked around. "..maybe not near so much mud and mosquitoes? "
His word washed away the rest of my dark thoughts..Hmm.
I found my forever someone. I was never more sure of anything.
He was also very right...we need a bed and quick. I was glad he wanted be considerate and maybe that was part of it.
I could barely hold myself back. I grabbed his ass and pulled him closer, I wanted to feel it..
" Lylly..careful.." - he pulled back against my hands.
He warned me..
" Lylly!!!"
Mothers voice was so sudden it scared me. I head butted him accidentally.
FOR EHLITE SAKE...