Chapter 29 - 29

Are you really going? It's not me, it's something else inside me that's gone. It's already gone, something inside me. It stood up like a schoolboy obeying his teacher.

I didn't tell you that thing I tremble and obey but at the same time I hear what you say and I know it's right right human and necessary It's all I have to do I know that That's why it's so low to go But there's really something that makes me go

It forces me to obey the authority. In fact, this has happened before. For example, when I was teaching, I used to wear a suit and put an Atatürk badge on my collar. Then, time passed and the suit requirement was lifted. Nowadays, no one wears an Atatürk toilet seat on their collar. Now, 4 different religious lessons are taught in schools. The life of our Prophet, religious culture and moral knowledge. 'an reading and comprehension and now there is a free project in schools, students are learning to slaughter animals, a box is made from the model and a black cover is knitted on it and little students are circling around it as if they are in Mecca. 6-year-old girls wear headscarves, teachers wear headscarves, when you look at a teacher touching a student? Is it a security guard or a teacher? Ataturk is no longer included in classes, national holidays and human rights are not celebrated. I hate myself.

I work with my own values, I obey the authority and I became a member of a union that is an enemy of Atatürk. The union president goes and visits Atatürk's enemies in their graves. Children are harassed in schools. These schools are called Süleyman Efendi schools. Unfortunately, he is a teacher working in that school. Of course, no matter how much he is called a teacher, he is a secondary school. child

He says sometimes he can be more attractive than a woman, he can make this sentence, but there is nothing I can do, nothing like this. Well, this year, he hit the table like this. He had a dull, captive expression in his eyes. His lover couldn't bear to look at him. Despite his love, he was afraid of really hating her. it was still on the table

The cold meat lying on it looked like it was stinking, the bread was stale and crumbling, it was like coal. The heavy smell of food filled the room. The only thing he heard from all of this was you. He stood up with all his tricks. He ran towards the windows to let in fresh air. His shoulders were smoking slightly. Or he caressed the air with what he found on everything. The sky was rising. He said, "Look." Ayten, look at this view with a calmer attitude. I beg you. Just look at it once. Maybe for you.

What I say is not exactly the truth Words can always miss the mark But all I see is honest He doesn't lie There's a farmer down there following his sling Young and strong But why doesn't he go to be killed 'Cause he's not in the war 'Cause I guess his fields are just beyond 'Cause he's a Syrian His law Doesn't apply to him anymore Since you are in this country, it does not apply to you either. Because if you are a Turkish citizen of my origin, this country is not your country, it is an invisible law that is valid only for a few kilometers and does not affect beyond that.

Could it be, when you look at the peace here, can't you see how meaningless this is? Look, it's as clear as the sky over the Yew River.

Colors are waiting for us to enjoy Come to the window and tell me one more time that you want to go I don't want to go I don't want to go I don't want to go

You know why should I look at that view I know it all You're just torturing me right now Every word you say hurts me and you can't do anything to me

She cannot help but felt helpless in the face of the man's pain. Her feeling of pity broke my eye and turned around silently. So, when do you need to go to the branch? Tomorrow. In fact, it was yesterday.

It was supposed to happen but I didn't receive the letter on time, so I have to go tomorrow, but what if you don't go tomorrow, let them wait here, they can't do anything to you, there's no rush, wait a week, write them a letter and tell them you're sick.

Tell me brother. He did this and got two weeks' time. Worst case scenario, they won't believe you and send the doctor here. Maybe we can talk to him. As long as they're not wearing uniforms. They're still smiling people. Maybe.

The doctor looks at you and tells you to stay away from the front, he says you're not fit for military service, and even if that doesn't work, we'll get at least a week. So promise me you won't go, let them wait until you're mentally ready.

You have to feel it, you are sad right now and they do whatever they want to you. Tomorrow they will be stronger than you, but after a week you will be stronger. Then think about the happy days when we will break Satellite. Are you listening to me Ayten Necip teacher Ayten Necip

He shook the teacher and looked at Necip Ayten with empty eyes. These lazy lost looks did not react to the woman's words. He just couldn't go down there with the woman.

There was terror and fear coming from the depths. Why? Then the man slowly came to his senses, he said, "You are right, you are right, he is in no hurry. What can they do to me? Couldn't it be that I haven't received the letter? Couldn't I have been away from here for a while? Or Master, I might be sick. I put it in the delivery book that the postman brought."

signature I'll take it, but it doesn't matter, we have to think about everything from the beginning. The man stood up and started walking in the room. He was repeating, "You're right, you're right" mechanically, but there was no convincing in his voice. It sounded very abstract, and his words were angry.

The woman was repeating that her husband's mind was somewhere else, the partner was still beyond the limit, which was still causing disaster in people.

He felt that he was on the right track. He couldn't stand his job of constantly saying he was right. He left the room quietly. I heard him walking around the room for hours like a prisoner in a dungeon.

She didn't touch his dinner the other day, there was something distant and dull in it. However, when they went to bed at night, he heard the warm and soft price of the mixture as if trying to defend himself.

When she saw him embracing her passionately and fully, she could feel the fear inside her living husband. She knew that this was not love, but an escape.

I could taste the bitter and salty tears between his kisses, then the man lay down again silently, sometimes not again, he was sleeping, then he held his wife's hand like a man holding on to her husband's hand.

They didn't talk. Only once, when she heard her husband sobbing, she tried to comfort him. I still have another week. Don't think about it. But then she felt ashamed of herself for advising him to think about something else. Because it was a single thought that took over from her cold hand, from the beating of her heart, to a grip that ruled her.

He realized that it was happening and there was no miracle that could save him from it. Silence and darkness had never weighed so heavily on this house before. Between its walls, the whole world was standing cold like ice, Refik was just a determined clock.

He continued to make sounds like Demir and the guard from the other side, and with each step of that hour the woman heard the living man next to her from the man she loved.

He was aware that he was getting a little further away. He couldn't stand it anymore. He jumped out of his bed and threw the watch on the floor. There was no time. There was only terror and silence.

Until dawn They lay in silence, neither of them sleeping with ideas wandering in their hearts about what would happen. Wintery Twilight. Meanwhile, the man

When he got up, the frost was in heavy fog, he was standing smartly on the river. The man dressed immediately, put on his kingly air, wore his belt, spent the weekend with me and quietly closed the door.

He said it after a while before opening it, and since he was hesitant, he wandered around the room. Later on, the door was frozen because of the cold. Let them tell you. He glanced around to see if anyone was watching him, how he was shaking, and even how he often

He remembered the cold of Eskişehir. It was everywhere. Of course, the dog jumped on him like a thief trying to get in, but when he recognized the man, He retreated and gave loving caresses. Then he started running around, wagging his tail and settling down to walk with the man.

He started, but a man chased the dog away with a hand gesture. If he doesn't have the courage to talk, why is he in such a hurry?

He started to descend in a hurry, without knowing what he was doing. He stopped from time to time and looked at his house, which was gradually disappearing in the sound. There was a strong smell of coal around him.

Even though he had switched to natural gas, there were still many houses burning coal, then the point of progress took control once again, the man was pulling his hair as if someone was after him.

I started walking towards the station, but when I arrived, he stopped. If it doesn't matter, a hot spring was rising from me. He had a wire on his forehead. When he exhaled, it was as if he was smoking. Smoke.

he was leaving the station there were a few officers and a few locals who knew him they said good morning to him and one of them looked like he was trying to strike up a conversation But the man turned his back on them.

He turned to talk to people at this point, his face full of fear, but it was painful to stand idly by the wet tracks, and where to get to the station?

He remembered from his childhood, or since his youth, when he was studying at university, he would go to his hometown on the brakes to avoid paying more money, and this

He used to use the station, the journey took 36 hours and he set up books along the way, but the noise of the train sometimes prevented him from reading or understanding the book. Thinking about what he was doing was a passenger.

He got on the platform, threw a coin into what he called money on the scale, watched his pale sweating face on the screen showing his weight, got off the scale and put the coin into the machine.

When he fell, he realized that he forgot to look at what the needle was pointing at. He said, "I'm losing my mind." He silently felt an icy fear of himself. He sat on a bench.

He forced himself to sit down and think everything over, but then a voice very close to him beeped. Attention, the man jumped. The locomotive was already whistling in the distance. The train quickly entered the Man.

He settled in one of the compartments. There was a dirty newspaper on the floor. He took the newspaper in his hand and began to examine it without looking at what he was reading. He only saw the hands of the person selling it, shaking more and more as time passed. The train stopped.

He staggered off the train, he knew where he was going, and he felt the words of the heart there, but this feeling was getting weaker and weaker.

u From time to time he would give himself little tests of strength by standing in front of a poster and gaining control.

To prove that he was in control, he forced himself to read the whole thing from beginning to end, muttering in a very low voice that he was in no hurry, as soon as these words had passed from his lips.

For example, a joke was made, the crazy driving impatience inside him was making him progress for a long time, he looked around desperately to find a car, he was shaking, he stopped a taxi passing by, he threw himself into the car as if he hated himself for suicide.

He said a name to the driver, the name of the street where the military branch presidents were located, the car's engine rumbled, the man leaned back and closed his eyes, he felt like he was traveling to the unknown places he said.

It was lighter than the speed of the car carrying you to your doom. Even your eyes were blinding. It felt good to watch yourself passively, but the car had already slowed down to stop. He got out of the car, paid the driver's fee, got into the elevator in the building to go to the floor where the offices were located. He mechanically went up and headed straight.

He took the same pleasure from moving again, as if he wasn't the one who did all this, but the unknown power of his covers was dragging him on this path. He locked the door and rang the bell, there was no answer. A thought passed through his mind for a moment: to go back, to leave here immediately, to go down the stairs and go out. Instead, he rang you again from inside, after saying it slowly, he immediately left. There were voices. A servant wearing sleeve corks and a duster in his hand opened the door with great effort. He was obviously tidying up the offices, shyly in front of this servant.

He said he was ashamed of himself because he stammered and said, "I was told to come here." The servant returned angry and measured. Don't you see what it says all the time? Office hours are between 12:00 and 12:00. Nobody came yet and he closed the door without waiting for an answer. His shame is not unlimited. He retreated a little and stayed there while Kardelen was squeezing him.

Necip looked at his watch and came down the stairs trembling like an old man. Two hours of such free time. He was afraid for him. Because he felt that he was losing his strength with every minute spent waiting. He was now strengthened and prepared. He had already determined what he was going to say.

The entire scene had been set in his mind for 2 hours. An iron veil had veiled over one of his memories the power he had placed between himself and the contentious issue that prevented reconciliation.

He felt all the heat radiating from inside him, who rolled over, took off nervously, and erased the words. He calculated that he would go to the head of the military branch and immediately call the military in many hospitals.

He had met him once at his friends' house and they had made small talk. So, at least he would have known the face of the man in front of him, who was proud of his cheerfulness.

who likes to appear generous and

He was just a man who didn't want to be thought of as a soldier. They all had this desire. They wanted to act like a soldier and feel important. He was going to team me up and go for it. He would announce that he was there and talk about general issues in a sincere language.

The soldier was going to ask about his health. Of course he was going to ask him to sit down. He was going to offer him a cigarette. Finally, politely, in a sector of silence, how about you?

He was going to say how can I help? The other man had to ask first. This was very important. In response, he said in a very calm and ordinary voice.

I received a letter telling me to go, I was going to say there must be a mistake, I already have a report stating that I am not suitable for military service, because he was using antidepressant drugs and had tried this before due to his eye defects.

He had applied but was rejected. He should have said this in a very calm voice. He should have made it clear that he believed that all this was an insignificant mistake. After all, they succeeded his friend Cemil. It was decided that he was not fit for military service. He even quit teaching and now he was in the Ministry of National Education.

His friend was working as a civil servant in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and he said that he was very happy. He spent his days sitting at school and smoking cigarettes. In the evening, he watched the movies he rented and again took packs of cigarettes and filled his room with smoke.

She was living with her mother, it was not possible for her to get married, and in the end, I was happy with her life and her biggest fun was with Recep.

He was going to the cinema. Of course, you would have seen in the newspaper a while ago that everyone who had been examined before had to get a report again. The man then said his silence.

I was going to say that I understand by preserving, actually I don't read newspapers, I don't have time for that, and if you do, I only read on the internet and only look at the headlines. I have a lot of work to do, the other guy has no time for military service.

He had to see that he was not interested and that he accepted himself as independent. Of course, you would have told him that he had to obey the order of the soldier Necibe knife, that he was sorry for this situation, but that the military authorities were blah, etc. My son, it would be the moment when he would talk to a greater power. Yes

He should have said, "I understand," but actually, it's impossible for me to take a break from my job right now. I've finished my master's degree and I want to move on to my doctorate. This is a very important book for me. I was writing a book and I wanted it to be in front of the book I wrote.

I made a deal with the publishing house, I couldn't let them down, I promised them, and then I asked the soldier to either give him a longer period of time or to be examined by a doctor here.

He was sure of how things would go up to this point. From that point on, the possibilities began. The soldier could accept immediately. In this way, in the worst case, he could buy some time. But if the soldier politely, coldly, evasively and sincerely said that such decisions were unacceptable and outside his authority.

If he says that he is, then Necip must be determined and Metin should have stood up first, he should have gone to the table and said in a stern voice with an attitude that shows that he will never give up his determination. I understand him, but I would like to point out that this is my responsibilities. Çağr Ya, it prevents you from sleeping immediately, I take it upon myself to postpone the procedures for 3 weeks, morally.

Until I fulfill my obligations, of course, I do not want to be perceived as not fulfilling my duty towards my country. He took a certain pride in these carefully planned statements. I would like to point out that expressions such as our responsibilities are in extremely neutral and official statements. "I know the cold laws," he would reply rather than the consequences.

I'm aware But once I made a promise I'll keep it above all laws And to fulfill it I have to accept all difficulties So you'll cut the conversation short and head for the door He'll show that he's not a worker or an apprentice fired from his position but a man who decides a conversation is over He'd never felt this feeling at school The principal always

He would call him to his room and give him various warnings, and the manager would always determine when the conversation was over. He had never done the job of determining when the conversation was over, and he wanted to do it this time, pacing on the other hand, waiting for this moment.

He had rehearsed it three times in his mind, he liked the tone of voice he had chosen for the entire plot, he was impatiently waiting for the mother to arrive, like an artist waiting for a sign. There was only one passage that did not feel right. I have no intention of not doing my duty to my country. Was this country really his homeland? After all, he is a minority in this country.

In fact, his origins were different. He was not a Turk. His ancestors were Armenian citizens who lived in the Ottoman Empire. There must have been something like patriotic values in this speech. He showed that he was not deliberately blocking it, but he was not ready to go yet.

He had to decide whether he was a Turk or an Armenian. He was aware that he had to teach a lesson about patriotism. Of course, not for himself so that they would hear. However, this expression of duty towards the homeland was too literary. Maybe he reconsidered in the ministry. I know that my homeland needs me. This also seemed ridiculous.

I have no intention of running away from the responsibility of responding to the solution of my country. Yes, this was an improvement, but he still did not like this part of the scene. It felt like an extremely flattering sentence. He was leaning in more than necessary. He thought again, and as he entered the peace's room, he knocked on the door and asked, "Are you available?"

He felt very flattering when he asked him. It would have been better if he kept it as simple as possible. I know my duty. Yes, that was it. He could change the expression like this, whether they would understand it or not. Moreover, his ear could hear it short and clear. He said it in a commanding tone.

You could have said, I know my duty, almost like a threat. Now it was perfect. Still, the man was tense and when I looked at his watch, he was refusing to move forward. People were watching him on the street.

They were pushing him, but he didn't know which way to turn, it was all about duty and the country, they were telling him what a perfect person the president was, he was a chance for this country, he was a rare person, almost like a prophet. He had all the qualities of God.

There were also members of parliament, that's why it was a miracle for this country, it didn't matter that he was old, he should have remained president until his death, no matter what law was passed.

It was not valid, he was a unique person for the president. He drank a cup of tea to get rid of the bitter taste in his throat, and then he thought about how he could spend his time better.

He kept putting the pieces of the imaginary conversation together. He put his hand to his cheek for a moment. He realized that he hadn't shaved. He hurriedly went to a barber. He shaved. And time passed. Then he decided that he had to look presentable. They used to have an arrogant attitude towards the mob. They used to rebuff such people. When you came out as a well-groomed person, dressed elegantly, your tone of voice would change immediately. This idea came to his mind, and he put on his shoes.

He brushed it off, read his line once again, his new version containing the words "I know my duty" is now in the strongest part. He walked with very confident and firm steps. He ran up the stairs you were talking to with the lightness of his child. A minute later, as soon as the servant opened the door, he said a foreword that all calculations could be wrong. with content And indeed, nothing happened as he expected. When he asked about the military, Mr.

He was told that the secretary had a visitor and that he had to wait. In a very insincere manner, they showed him a place to sit in the middle of the row of seats where 3 lower-class looking men were currently sitting. He sat down, feeling immortal and angry, feeling that his job was ordinary and that he only had one case to attend to.

The men sitting next to him were telling each other about their little incidents, one of them was explaining in a distressed tone that he had been detained by the army for two years and now people here did not pay him, even though he had 3 children.

He was complaining that he was not helping him find a job. Necip was shaking with anger.

They had left him alone, yet he found himself annoyed by the trivial fault-finding tone of these ordinary people. He wanted to rehearse what he was going to say one more time, but he was distracted by the men's stupid comments. He wanted to shout at them to be quiet, or take money out of his pocket and send them home, but he didn't have the will to do so.

He was injured and he continued to sit like the people next to him, people were constantly coming and going, he was constantly trying to open and close the door, he was confusing his rights. The whole time he was afraid that someone he knew might see him among these people, but he was ready to jump up every time the door opened, but every time he was disappointed.

He was leaning back. Once, he collected himself and said to the maid who was standing next to him like an officer, "Call me, I can come tomorrow if necessary", but the man gave him morale, wait a little longer with him.

He said he will see you and the tortoiseshell from Necip's TV series came loose again, he was stuck here, there was nothing he could do about it. Finally, a woman walking with her skirts rustling, smiling and straightening her hair.

He passed the waiting men with an air of superiority, and the servant called out, "The esteemed secretary will see you now." The man stood up but put his gloves on the window sill.

He remembered too late that he had left it behind. He could not go back to pick it up. The door had already opened. Confused with these disorderly thoughts, he walked in, half looking back. The soldier was sitting at his desk, reading something. He raised his head and asked the man.

He greeted him with respect but smiled in a cold manner, but did not tell him to sit down, please wait a minute. He got up and called out to someone from the next room. Necip Erdoğan file, please remember. It had come the day before. The call sheets had been sent here. Sitting down again, that is, us.

"You are one of those who left," he said. "You look very well."

He signed it and gave it to her. Actually, you have to leave tomorrow, but I don't think it's that urgent. If you need a day or two to sort things out, I'll be responsible for that.

I can take on it. For the Homeland. A few days won't change anything. Necip felt like it was a joke. He felt like he had to smile.

He felt himself getting nervous and said to himself, "Tell me something." I have to say something right away. And in the end, he was able to say, "Is the call letter enough? Isn't it necessary to do something else?" The soldier smiled and said, "No."

They won't let you out, they will be waiting for you anyway. He extended his hand to shake hands. Necip felt like he was walking out of the office. As he walked towards the door, everything in front of his eyes went dark.

A voice behind him said, "Next door, please." He had tried to open the wrong door. Now, as far as he could tell through his confused senses, with a slight smile, the soldier had opened the right door. He was holding it for him. He said, "Thank you." He felt angry for this unnecessary sincerity.

The next moment he was outside the room, the servant was holding his cane or his gloves, then you would say what you planned to say, financial obligations, educational obligations, need to start a doctorate, I must say, I have never been this much in your life.

He was not ashamed, he didn't even thank the man, but his emotional capacity was no longer enough. He went down the stairs with a pale face. He said that this man walking could not be him, that he had succumbed to the force.

He felt crushed, a strange and cruel force was threatening the entire Earth beneath his feet. He arrived home late in the afternoon. He had been wandering around aimlessly for hours and had returned from his own door three times. The faithful dog caught the man's scent. He responded madly, wagging his tail passionately. He jumped on the man. His wife was at the door.

He was standing, at first glance, he saw that she knew everything, he watched his wife without speaking, shame was in her voice with all its weight, but the woman was not harsh, she was not looking at him, she was clearly avoiding anything that would upset her husband, she put some cold meat on the table. When the man sat at the table with an obedient attitude, she also sat next to him, her voice was shaking badly. You are not well. Now is not the right time for me to talk to you.width

I won't blame you, you're not acting of your own free will, I can feel how much pain you're in, but make me a promise. Don't do anything about this without talking to me. The man didn't say anything. The woman's voice started to sound a little more flustered. I've never interfered in your personal affairs. I'll always leave you the freedom to make your own decisions.

I meant to but now you're not just playing with your life You're playing with mine too It took us years to build our happiness I won't give it up as easily as you I won't give up on the government your pride and weakness I won't give up on anyone do you hear me anyone If you're weak against them it's not me I know what this is about and I'm not giving up Because We have always been remembered as second-class citizens in this country.

The people who were massacred in Kahramanmaraş, Çorum, Sivas, we were always dirty, we were prevented from reaching high positions in the state, even if we were successful in the exams, we were prevented from being appointed today KPSS

If a teacher who passes the exam with a high score is Alevi, he will be eliminated in the interview. Yes, we are the blacks of this country. That's why we got used to fighting. The man was still silent. His guilty silence with a slave soul infuriated the woman even more. I don't let that piece of paper take anything from my hand.

I do not recognize a law that ends in murder. I do not submit to bureaucracy.

"I do not bow to the government he rules," he said. "You men have now become Arabs with the rulers and you think politically. We women still have untamed feelings. I know what the homeland means, too, but I also know what the current homeland means."

I know that the current homeland means slavery, not being able to express freedom, not being able to write your own feelings and thoughts, not being able to express your feelings, you can feel like you belong to your nation.

But it doesn't mean that when the Nations go crazy, you are forced to join them. You are just a member to them, you may be a soldier going to die, but for me yet

You're a living person and I won't let them take you I'm not giving up on you I've never tried to make decisions on your behalf But right now it's mine to protect you

My duty is always clear with you, I became someone who knows his responsibilities and what he wants, now you are a broken, disturbed, good man who has no will of his own. They tried to get on your nerves too, but they forgot about me, I have never been stronger before now.

The man was silent, lost in thought in the gloom. He did not have the strength to confront his own devil or his wife's devil. The woman stood up straight, like someone preparing for war, her voice was harsh and tense.

I want to know what they said to you during the presidency. This is an order. The man took out the paper and gave it to his woman. The woman read it with frowning eyebrows. Then, with a sad face, she threw the paper on the table.

What are the men in a hurry about tomorrow? I think you even thanked them.

He understood. He said, 'Let's not deceive ourselves.' It came to him too. We can't escape from him. I tried to defend myself. But it didn't work. I'm this piece of paper. Even if I tear it up and throw it away, I'm still like that.

Don't make it difficult for me, there would be no freedom here, I would always feel like there was something outside calling me, harassing me, tugging at me. It would be easier for me there, even being locked in a dungeon would be greater freedom. As long as I was a fugitive and running away from them, I couldn't be free. In fact, I was a civilian.

I am not free in my life either. When I talk about Atatürk in lessons, some students report this to the administration, or when I say words criticizing the government, the same students report these words to the school administration.

It is reported that when I write an article expressing my opinion on the internet, I am followed again by someone on the phone.

When I talk our phone conversations are being tapped Every man we throw is being followed Where is the freedom in this Yet we always jump to the worst conclusion They rejected me once Why not again or maybe they won't put a gun in my hand

After all, I'm a person with psychological problems. I'm sure they won't give me a lighter job. Why now? Let's think about the worst. It might not be that dangerous. Maybe I'm lucky. The woman didn't soften up. It's not an issue anymore. It doesn't matter if they give you a heavy or light job. The real issue is whether you take a job on behalf of something you hate. You don't take it according to your own beliefs For the worst crime in the world I don't want to be justice 'Cause it's not against them Everybody's for them and you can reject them You can do it That's why you should do it Can I do it nothing?

I can't do it, not anymore. Everything that once made me strong, my hatred for this nonsense, my anger, is a heavy burden on me now. Don't torture me, please. I don't think so. Don't tell me that, I'm not telling you. You tell yourself that.

You should say this they don't have any rights over a living person rights rights rights rights Where is it in the world that children are being killed in Israel right now, but there is no sound from the world?

Their rights don't come out We killed them Every individual has their rights But they have the power And nothing else matters anymore So why are they strong Because he gave it to them The rest And you cowards

As long as they are strong, they will continue to be powerful. What people now call terrible is made up of strong-willed men in the relevant countries and this monstrosity is still ten times.

One man can destroy One man living One man can destroy their power by saying no But you and those like you are afraid and overcome

As long as you think you can come and hope to slip through their fingers instead of finding them in their hearts, you'll be their servant and you don't deserve anything better.

A man shouldn't run away happily He should say no That's the only duty to do today Do you think I'm a coward If something inside you

If he says no, you should say no too. You know I love life. I love your freedom. I love your job. And if you tell me to go there today.

If you say you have to, I'll have to lay down the law with a gun in my hand If I find that you really believe that you should go, then I say go, but if you don't believe I'm weak for a lie and

You're leaving because your nerves can't handle it. If you're just hoping to get out of this, then I'll hate you. Yes, yes, I'll hate it for something I believe in. In the name of humanity.

If you want to go as a man then don't try to stop you but a beast among beasts a slave among slaves

If you are going to be, I will oppose you. There is nothing wrong with people sacrificing themselves for their ideas. As long as they don't do it out of madness from others, leave it to the country.

Those who believe should do their military service for the country. The man stood up without thinking. Am I talking to you so comfortably? Is his head already on his back?

Don't be afraid, I wish I could stay silent or tell you that everything will be okay and nothing will happen to you, but now is not the time to be emotional. Everything is now.

In danger No I won't sympathize with you I chose you and I lived with you as a free man But I hate the weak and the self deceived Why should I sympathize with you What do I mean to you I give you a few words written on a piece of paper instead of the morning and you throw me aside and run

You're going after me I'm not someone to be thrown away and picked up again Now you have to decide Choose between them and me Hate them or me If

If I stay I know there are hard days ahead and I'll never see the ones I said and my family again They'll never let us come back But if you're what I am I can face it But if you tear us apart now it's forever

The man only groaned. The woman was pouring out with furious force. Make your choice. There is no third option. One more time while there is still time.

Think about it now, for the first time, I'm glad we don't have children. I wouldn't want the child of a bite, I wouldn't even want to raise a war orphan on my own. I've never been there for you as much as I do now.

I am making it difficult for you. I went against my family. My family did not want me to marry a good man. They said we are Alevi and you should marry an Alevi man, but now I am questioning whether it is right to go against my family.

I'm telling you, this is not a trial, it's not a breakup, it's a farewell that lasts forever. If you leave me to join the room and go after those killers, there's no coming back, I can't share my life with criminals, a man, that blood, Mece, I can't share it with the government, him or me, you have to choose now, woman.

The man stood there trembling as she left the room and slammed the door behind him. The loud slamming door made the man's knees weak. He had to sit down. His gloom and confusion finally gave way and he cried like a little child. The woman never came into the room in the afternoon, but the man felt the woman's strong will outside the door.

I felt you were waiting Spain and you were armed I also knew the other will

Working to play with yourself, where did you go through the drawers, tore up some letters, without looking at what they wrote, gave blank looks to others, solved some problems, integral

She studied her homework, then she reviewed her notes for tomorrow, she said to me, wrote again in the Metro formulas, walked around the room, sat down again, mixed up her master's classes, and wrote the homework given by her husband.

He prepared applications, packages, Sir, he paid great attention to the thesis topic, he examined the thesis topic again, he read his own thesis again, for the PhD qualification exam.

He was getting ready, but he always had other things on his mind. He got up again with uneasiness, waited and then sat down again. Suddenly, a passenger fell into his hands for the journey.

While gathering the necessary things, he found himself taking out his backpack from under the sofa and went to the hospital against his will.I looked at his hands doing these. When the backpack was prepared, it started to shake. Suddenly, my bag was on the table. Just like in the old days, he started to shake his bag.

He gets ready, he gets on the bus from his hometown, he made his 13-hour journey to Eskişehir, as if he felt like he was leaving Cantasi why they were like Serkan always, and he felt the whole weight of the time he was in. The door of the room opened, his wife came in with a book in her hand, she left her phone on the table, the light on the table is passing.

He dropped his bag on him. Thus, his face became enlightened. The man said, "It's just a preparation just in case."

The woman memorized them for a while. The woman went to the man and looked at his work. She put a squeeze on her lips. At first, she didn't move. Then her gaze shook slightly as if she were going to faint as the man turned. The blindness on her lips. The wedding relaxed, but the woman turned. One of her shoulders shivered. The woman left the room without looking back. A few minutes later, the maid came and brought food only for the man. If the usual place next to the man lies idle, when he looks at nothing with emotions, the back standing there

I saw the symbol of mercy on his bag. It was as if he had left that house very badly. He felt that it had been like that for a long time. The walls and so on. The light of the phone on the table did not reach there. And outside, other houses were living. Then the Night Wind was pressing. There, everything in the distance. From here, the height of the sky. It was only the man who was developing. It helped relieve the feeling of loneliness, it slowly killed everything around it, it felt like you were moving away from it.

The scenery was like the donkey was squeezing the obstacles of his life into his beating heart that was suddenly established. When we had a great relationship with love, warm and kind words, he was willing to accept anything if he could somehow take back his past.

He thought about why he thought about the subject, his nervous uneasiness prevailed and the imminent and then strong feelings. My need for love of a little child melted away. He went to the bedroom and said there was a lid, he didn't move, the door was locked. Yes, he knocked on the door in the sky, there was no answer, he knocked again, his heart works and his head works in the same picture. he threw it again

Silence, now that everything is over and lost, that cold reality settled inside him, he turned off the light, he put the clothes on him, laid down on the couch and wrapped himself in a blanket, he wanted to fall asleep and forget everything inside, he listened once more and heard a voice near him, he thought it was him, looking at the door, Ear.

Relief but there was nothing on the wall, the door fell back again. Then something touched the man closely. The man jumped up in alarm, but this immediately turned into Emotionality. The dog hiding under the sofa approached him. He licked the man's hand with a warm one. The animal's instinct is beautiful love and man. Because he was dead to himself and all his past came from a world that still belonged to him, the man bent down and hugged the dog like a human in this world

He still loves me and doesn't hate me, he thought. That's why I'm not a machine yet, I'm going to look for a murder, I'm not a willing wimp, just a creature bound to him with love. He caressed the soft fur of the animal over and over again. They fell asleep. While the man was petting the dog, I thought about the rabbit in his childhood. A neighbor had given them a white rabbit as a gift. The rabbit had lavender eyes. This baby rabbit had fainted in their own house. Then they returned the animal to their neighbors.

An unexpected thing happened. The neighbor loved the animal very much. They slaughtered and ate it. It was one of the biggest traumas he experienced in his childhood. He still could not forget those beautiful eyes of the animal. As his dog was loved, he started to remember the rabbit in the new house. When he woke up, he felt like a bell. The morning outside the window was clear and bright, and the wind took him away to the darkness. It was louder, or it was reflected everywhere in time. Necip was still a little groggy because of the hours he spent sleeping. His blood sugar had dropped in his sleep. He was feeling dizzy.

When he arrived, his eyes were remembered, we focused on the backpack, he suddenly remembered everything. But this time, under the bright sun, there was no such heavy weight on it. He asked himself, "Why did I prepare this?" I want to write a book. I also want to write a novel, story, essay and poem.

I want to paint a picture. I'm not in a big hurry. The soldier told me he'll wait a few days. Even animals don't run to the slaughter.