It was after school after the last lesson on Friday, the students were running left and right like arrows with the excitement of the 2-day weekend holiday, trying to move forward in the crowd and heading towards the door where the students exited. Özlem
He continued to move slowly without taking his eyes off the door. Yes, the door opened and someone came out. Maybe someone.
She's happy in her mind that he hasn't forgotten her.
He continued to move forward, the man was unaware of anything.
didn't know it was there
At that moment, the math teacher
He realized that he was not alone and hid to one side, his eyes not leaving that side, Necip said, laughing and saying,
Geography was walking down the stairs in her dress, talking next to her.
His teacher was leaning towards him and saying something, and the two were walking hand in hand.
Özlem stopped dead in her tracks. That's when she saw them.
With a casual movement, Necip brought his hand to his tie. But then he immediately lowered it. Cruel. A resentful and painful smile settled on his lips and accompanied the geography teacher next to him.
He continued walking. He opened the car door and then got into the car. While he was doing this, he
Standing in pain, Özlem never looked back, that kind of thing doesn't happen to a person.
It causes such traumatic pain that the person can no longer feel that pain, the person cannot perceive it due to the severity of the Shock.
brings his ability and cannot feel pain only and only from a very high place
that he fell breathless, that he could not resist this fall, that he continued to fall so quickly that he reached the bottom of a cliff, and that he knew that he could not avoid it.
could not relieve pain
Özlem had been dealing with minor troubles so far that it was not possible for her to face such a big event in a calm mood. She spent her whole life in a melancholy mood and full of dreams. There was a strange feeling inside her that made her write series of poets.
Happiness had gone through different small pains. He believed that he had been dealt the blow of his fate at this very moment. However,
He had previously thought that he had already passed through life's dark paths or suffered
He had created a self-confidence that would stand up against all this.
However, Özlem could see that this trust was a piece that remained like a toy. That's why Özlem even ended her relationship with her lover who lived in another city.
But now he realized that everything was worthless. There was nothing left in his soul. Life now gave him all the things in his garden.
The seeds and flowers came together, that medicine was like rain, the only thing he saw
It was a bottomless, endless darkness, that is, an endless darkness that swallowed all the sounds that blinded his gaze...
There was only silence in this darkness, a breathtaking death, in the silence, only many things happened at once.
There was a joyful, warm laughter that wanted to find life in him like an unborn child, for example, the feeling of youth in education was a sign of the future.
His youth, who felt confident and thought he could open all doors with his sense of desire, was now dead, and many other pure and innocent
n After all, I have gone through many processes, a full love that gets richer with every step, all these disappointments.
Relentless in itself
Is it a feeling of respite that lasts for a while? It also included the need for revenge. He felt like he had been insulted. He was roasted by the fire of this insult.
He couldn't control his trembling hands. He now wanted to fight Fate for his life, which he believed had always been shaped by Fate, freed from the weakness and shame within him.
He was in a great war with his emotions, he was wandering idly in the garden of scent. The truth is very, very
He was far away, he didn't even know where he was going. It was as if there was a weight on his feet, but at the same time, there was a force that forced him to walk. He was trying to forget the pain that wanted to wake up inside him, and he was walking fast. Even though he did not experience an explosion yet, he was aware of the tears that were accumulating inside him and creating great pressure on him, now he was on the Porsuk stream. was on a bridge built
He could see the black river flowing below the stars in the sky
Its brightness was reflected in the water. And of course, the reflection of the lamps left and right was slight.
He could hear an uninterrupted roar, this view was like a castle of death, Özlem.
He started to tremble with this thought and when he looked back he saw that he was all alone there on that bridge.
He saw the sound of a conversation in the distance, a laugh or the sound of wheels coming from time to time, but there was no one around him who could stop him. How simple, how quick it would be now, holding on to the edge of the bridge, throwing himself to the other side, falling and a few struggles, that's it, peace after that, an endless journey away from all the facts. Peace is the perfect consolation of never waking up again, but then it enters your Mind.
completely different thoughts were formed, an almost unrecognizable body pulled out of the water, curious people watching this situation, conversations, gossips, these could not hurt him anymore, but there was one person who could hear them, have fun and have a satisfied smile on his face. No, this could not happen. Life was not over yet. That's why this
He was conscious of his life He was sure that there was something hidden inside him that would give him a chance for revenge. Maybe life was too much.
She was actually beautiful, but she made a mistake. With her good intentions and her nature of believing quickly, she became a high-minded and easy-going person. However, people are not like that.
Like a cruel and predatory animal expected from the lives of others
should have been. As soon as he walked away from the bridge, he burst into laughter that destroyed himself, and even he didn't believe the words he couldn't say.
There was only one thing that was real inside him and that was pain, there was a burning hatred inside him and he wanted revenge, he felt so foreign that he didn't even know himself anymore, how evil and evil he was.
He had fallen into a worthless state, the cold was freezing him, he didn't want to think about anything anymore, he entered the city road again and continued walking towards home. No, he couldn't go home, everything in that house was so dark and suffocating that there was no way he could go home. All his memories were hiding in a corner, waiting to attack him. The Thought of this. Even that was enough to take his breath away. So where was he going to go?
He could have gone. Not being able to find the answer to the question was driving him crazy. Not even the slightest possibility crossed his mind. A shadow was accompanying him from this row.
He was doing so, but he wasn't aware of it. He didn't realize that the shadow suddenly started walking next to him. There was a teacher like him walking next to him. While passing under a street lamp, he realized that the man was looking at his face and trying to talk to him gently. At that moment, he got out of his thoughts, but he took some time to understand what was happening. He needed it and I couldn't answer it
This teacher was a colleague they met at the scouting camp for a long time. They had spent good days together as friends at the camp. Even though she was very young and inexperienced, Özlemin was quiet and did not intimidate him. They chatted after a short agreement and continued talking in a sincere tone. He was across the road with someone like Özlem. On the other hand, he wasn't conscious of it at this time of the night.
He was walking alone on the street. The man couldn't be sure, but he still kept talking. Özlem continued to listen. She wanted to rebuff him anyway, but when she remembered her memories from the scouting camp, she gave up on it. She wanted to start a new life. It was full of pain. If my dreams came crashing down in this fireplace.
He didn't want his words. He wanted to start a new life, a more crazy and brave life. Then he thought about that man again. He wanted to take revenge on him. He should have broken the heart of his mathematics teacher with all his heart. He wanted to surrender to the first person he met.
He wanted to savor the taste of falling into these places forever, but to the bitterest drop, about his inability to deign to himself. It was as if he was choosing a new one to forget his old embarrassing incident. It was as if he was looking for a new torture tool for himself. How was the opportunity there? The opportunity had come to him quickly, in a low voice.
He told the man that he could accompany him. He understood that Özlem had come from school. They were studying at different schools. With a few questions, the man opened up to the man. In fact, the man was still considered a child. He looked like he was wearing a costume in that uniform. His suit could also be considered a school uniform. The adventures he had experienced so far were so ordinary. It wasn't even an adventure.
For the first time, he felt like he was left alone with a real puzzle in front of Özlem. Özlem remained silent from time to time and did not answer any of the questions she asked, but it was as if she was in a love world, but then she smiled at him with a provocative sweetness. Sometimes this smile seemed strange to the man, as if there was a fakeness in it. In fact, Özlem Attitudes that will guide a man through the wonderful thoughts passing through his mind
He wasn't making even the slightest effort to display it, he knew where this matter would lead, but from time to time he was giving in to fear, accompanied by the worry that he had committed a crime against himself. The need for revenge, which could not be turned into a positive direction, had found a place to spread for itself here.
Actually, this sharp tip was turned towards him, but it was very intense and dominant, it was futile to fight against him, even if he regretted it in the end, he still had to take revenge. As long as he doesn't get to that disgraceful point, as long as he forgets everything, even in an artificial drunkenness, and that terrible event doesn't even come to his mind anymore. Going to one of the restaurants of the young teacher with thoughts
He happily accepted their offer. If he hadn't fully understood what was going to happen, the only thing he wanted was not to think about that moment, so he could have said okay to everything. First came a nice dinner.
But Özlem couldn't eat much, she drank a lot of wine to get herself out of her mind. She still hadn't managed to get rid of it completely. From time to time, she could see the horror of the situation she was in. She looked at the young teacher in front of her.
He was looking, he might be the right person, a good man, healthy and strong and not very smart, this teacher was unaware of what impact the things that were going to happen would affect the life of a painful woman. He would have forgotten the others.
at work That's what she said. Over time, a pensive expression appeared in Özlem's eyes. A dark shadow of the pain in her face appeared on her face. Her hands trembled slowly along with her mind diving into her dreams. Suddenly she forgot what was happening and where she was, and images from the past slowly resurfaced. Then suddenly talk to someone or talk to someone. A voice seemed to come to him. But he immediately grabbed the wine glass and drained it with one gulp, then another, and another, and another, when he realized that he was too numb to lift his arm. That's when he put the glass down, and the teacher changed his position and said, More to Özlem
Özlem noticed this too, but she continued to calmly joke with the man. Step by step, the wine had an effect, she started blending until she found the vision.
He could see through a cloud of dust around him, sweet but empty words were coming to his ears, these words were jumbled and meaningless, his tongue was no longer able to move, despite all his efforts, there was no flow towards the thoughts in his mind.
He couldn't place it in front of his eyes. The lights were shining. He couldn't figure out what was happening.
He could no longer fight against exhaustion. Along with this plant, he also had a problem. Part of the reason for this problem was the effect of his rights, and part of it was the effect of the pain that was circulating in his chest and did not allow him to breathe. The young teacher was deaf and unresponsive to what she touched. Since she could not fully understand Özlem's behavior, she did not know what to do with her, and that the girl was drunk.
He thought, he wanted to make a reservation for her because he didn't want to take advantage of her drunkenness, but he doesn't miss her with sweet words or sweet words because he was drunk.
It didn't seem like it would go away with just a touch. The young teacher tried to comfort her with a fan in her hand. As soon as she hugged the girl, Özlem
He left me to him. And he started to cry. It wasn't the Wishful cry that alcohol gives him. It was a very loud cry with a painful sob full of fear. He had been in a cage for years. He was a captive of a wild animal. Demir
It was like attacking the bars. Özlem was now realizing that, accompanied by these violent shakings, the pain inside her was dissolving and she was sobbing. This created an indescribable pressure on her.
He seemed to be freed from the weight thanks to an explosion. It seemed that he did not want to protect his face, which was wet with tears. Only his eyes were not crying. His whole body was shaken by the sharpness of pain. The young teacher was stuck not knowing what to do. He was helpless. He tried to calm down the longing. He gently caressed his dark hair. But this
Demonstrators of love caused the longing to continue to cry even more, and the young teacher began to feel compassion for her in the face of this situation.
He had never witnessed a woman cry like this, he could feel the depth of this pain. His soul-searching state affected him on the one hand and frightened him on the other. He was even hesitant to touch this giver who would not be able to show the slightest resistance. He was proud of himself for his attitude in the face of this strange situation. He called a taxi and learned Özlem's home address. and accompanied her to her home. When Özlem came to her room,
There was no trace of drunkenness left in his mind, the last hours he lived were just blood in his ears. Trying to remember them did not embarrass him.
He was trying to remember what he was, all his youth, all his inexperience, all his great love, all the pain in his tears.
There was, he undressed slowly, some people wouldn't do it for love, they were aware of that. That's why everything was as it should be. Some people got what they wanted.
They were too weak to bear the painful happiness that would come true. That's why he spent his whole life. He gave him something that he knew before his eyes, and that was that he would never knock on the door of Love again, and he himself would not walk towards love. He would suffer the pain of giving up everything.
It was working there, with a hope that they would not be able to get along, he paused for a moment and looked at the mirror, he took off the last thing he was wearing, he saw you with a young and beautiful woman, it was pure white, sparkling clean, your skin was soft, it had a childish roundness, the light reflected from the outside was flickering slightly. Vigor and mobility were evident in his body. It was a happiness to hold on to a brave love and rise.
Mutual exchange of emotions in the game was appropriate to progress in a way to reach the sacred goal. But would all of these disappear without being evaluated like a flower picked by the wind? Özlem Softly
He felt that he was surrounded by peace, and this was something specific to people who can cover up great pain. This did not make him angry at the idea that he belonged to a single person who wanted or humiliated him from his youth. He properly turned off the light and waited to reach the quiet happiness of calm dreams. For a few weeks, he began to reshape his life, everything he experienced was his own was within this broad framework he drewand everything else that happened was just passing by him. He married his sister. He also married a teacher. Many happy and unhappy moments followed one after another.
Özlem did not allow the influence of fate to knock on her door in the moments when she was alone, it made me tired that happiness was not given to anyone who did not go through real pain.
My life would not reach him. He would not allow it to harm him with its violence. With this lesson from life, he directed his musical talent to the love that only enveloped his soul.
He was passing it on to the children. So the days passed, the months chased the months, when your soul came from spring to summer. His evenings were also filled with beauties. One evening when he was sitting at his piano standing by his window, a fresh spicy smell was coming from outside. The canary standing in the corner of the room was singing anxious melodies. I could hear the sounds of the neighbor's children playing outside, but what is Özlem? If time sat down at his piano, everywhere would be in the building.
He was calming down and slowly opened the door.
Opening children's minds to listen
They were pushing it in to