[This following chapter includes trauma, anxiety and fangirling ahem. Please proceed with caution.]
Previously: after going through many stages and finding the truth about this world. I go inside the crystal to break it. Just to face the worst bits of my past memories.
The doctor looks at me with shock and then he stands up and slowly approaches me. He puts his hands on my back and rubs my back in order to calm me down.
(I knew what this crystal was about but now it made me 100% sure, what it's about. This crystal is implying on judgement. A very common emotion seen in the society.)
The past incidents slide through my head like water and my vision becomes dark again.
(I know I already faced this events but it's somehow still pretty affective on me or rather everyone else, it seems.)
This time my surrounding does change but instead of me going through it I stand there like an invisible ghost as my past self takes up the screen.
(Seems like the perspective has changed.)
A boy about 14 to 15 years old was sitting on a table, scribling on to something. I step closer to the boy and take a peak on what he was doing.
(Is this a poem? Am I in my Shakespeare era?)
I notice the lines carefully and then my eyes fall on top of the poem's name.
"Value?"
A certain memory flashes through my head as I back away. This time the visions didn't need to show me the reality nor the crystal had to posses me to make me realise. Because I had already learnt what was reality and what was not.
The surrounding becomes black as each and every memory starts flashing through my eyes. How my relatives laughed on this poem. How my work life was judged, how everything I did was judged.
I crouch down as their voices start ringing in my ears.
"You eat too much, get thin"
"Your too thin, get fat"
"You should get rid of your scars."
"Your job isn't good enough."
"You have no fashion sense."
I stare at the dark void, my body and mind both reaching it's limit already.
(When will this ringing end? Wish I could read something to escape this place.)
Suddenly my surrounding changes again and I look up just to find my old self screaming like a fangirl in front of the computer.
(Did the crystal read my mind just now?)
A glimpse of hope ignites in me as my old self speaks to himself.
"Scarlet is so relatable, even after so many things she had to go through, she still had faith in her."
My old self covers his mouth in order to not cry dramatically and that scene was enough to bloom a smile on my face.
(Right, I almost forgot that I started reading this novel to not escape reality or loneliness but to overcome it. Though I am getting second hand embarrassment from the screams.)
My surrounding slowly fade away and I stand again, inside the dark void. But this time the dark was glowing in a way I could notice.
(I really need to fix some memories first. Then I'll think about other things.)
My surrounding changes and teleports me to the first scene, where I was sitting on top of a table. The same girl comes up to me and speaks in her irritating voice.
"Get down, would you. You're weight will break the table soon."
I look into the girls small brown eyes and let out a chuckle to which the girl nervously replies, "why-why are you laughing? you maniac!"
I jump down from the table, making the girl and every other squids present in there flinch.
"If I am so heavy, let me try sitting on you. Maybe it will break a bone or two."
Fear arises on their faces as they all start running away from me.
"Get away you monster!"
"Ahhhh!"
My face lits up at their terrified screams.
(How childish.)
I look down at my body then look up again.
(I am also a child though.)
My view teleports on to the second scene, where I was sitting with my family. My mother lets out a sigh and looks at me with disgust.
"Why are you so fat? I have to keep worrying about your health."
This time I didn't laugh as I did in the first scenario. Rather I get up from the dining table and stand on the chair I was sitting before. My mother raises her eyebrow in confusion.
"What are you doing?"
I look into her eyes and inhale a deep breath.
"According to modern beauty standards, forehead scars are considered popular."
My father doesn't even look at me while my mother shows sign of irritation on her face.
"What are you trying to say Minho?"
"If skipping meals is considered to be normal, than smashing my head should be normal too. Because both of them are causing me harm anyways."
My mother looks at me, her face filling up with guilt, my father's face was overflowing with anger as if I just said I am leaving this house.
My view teleports me to the third scene this time, where my old neighbour was still on going about my face.
"Poor Minho, nobody will marry him now."
I let out a cough to clear my voice which grabs the attention of my neighbour and mother.
"Mrs. Cha, I heard you're daughter had a car accident before marriage."
The women in front of me replies in a rather confused voice, "yes?"
"And she got a big scar on her right cheek as a result."
"That's true."
I smile upon hearing her reply, "was the marriage cancelled then?"
Both of the women looks at me, not having the courage to utter a sentence, and stating the obvious that they can't say anything against it.
"You don't have to worry about me Mrs. Cha. If someone wanted me, then they would have taken me, accepting my defaults."
My surrounding changes to the fourth scenario, at the time where my roommate was about to whisper those words in my ear .
(Let's get this over with.)
"Fix the hand, it looks abnormal"
I grab my roommate's face after he finishes his whispering, and bring his ear closer to my mouth.
"If it's abnormal, won't my dear roommate fix it for me?" I whisper into his ear which in reply, he nervously scratches his head.
"Well I can't draw though."
"Hmm, but you were so confident about calling it abnormal. Why are you not confident now?"
I observe his facial expression, followed by a smile that blooms on my mouth.
(At the end of the day, they were all the same. Feeling guilty about what they just said, before even reflecting it on themselves.)
I return back to the black void and a paper falls in my hands. I look at the paper, it was rather old and quite torn. After observing the writing my brain realises that,
(It's my poem!)
There was a particular line highlighted on the paper which I observe with my eyes.
(Life can be hard, if the surrounding is not smart, right! This was my favourite line.)
The void crashes as the paper disappears from my hands and my vision becomes blurry.
After a few seconds later I open my eyes finding myself in that small house of chocolate again.
My body was lying on top of the bed while the old lady was sitting beside me. My eyes focuses on the sitting women as I give her a smile.
(I survived) That was what my expression was saying. The old lady laughs in reply.
"I knew you have the main character energy in you, young lady!"
(But I am the villainess woman..)
To be continued