- (M) Main Protagonist's Point of View

" HEY...HAR.. HEY HARI WONGSOYUDAN PRATAMA! What are you writing? I've told you to focus on the current task first. The series (Penjahat Karirango) has been on a long hiatus." He said angrily.

"It's not a big deal. This is not about work," I replied to the mischievous eyes that clearly seemed to be peeking at my writing.

"If it's not, then why use such poetic language, with expressions like 'my hero' and all that." It's getting complicated.

"Not really," I answered.

This is Fajar, my best friend and illustrator. A man with slanted eyes, always wearing his trusty bucket hat. He somehow always looks confident in his shirt and jeans, even when we're on summer vacation at the beach. And both of us are beginner comic artists. Right now, we're facing a terrifying disaster dreaded by all comic artists – The DEADLINE. Because accidentally, we've created an intriguing story. Whether we've stumbled upon treasure or curse, who knows. The point is, since then, our lives haven't been the same. Hiksss... I even miss my old life of lazily lounging on the sofa.

Oh no, it's already 2 o'clock, I'm late for taking my medicine again!

"Gosh..! Have you eaten yet..?" Fajar's face mimicking seriousness.

"I already ate before you came." As I was about to take my pills, she suddenly stopped my hand.

"Oops..oops... you got it wrong again. That's not your regular medicine as you Mom said, the red one is your sleeping pill while the blue one is your regular medicine." he replied.

"Oh right, I forgot, thank goodness you're here," I thanked him.

"Next time just mark your medicine box."

"Yeah, sorry for troubling you." I said

"Oh come on Har, like you're the only one. Besides, I know you well from our friendship, this kid here, will always be a trouble to you in the future...hahaha," he joked.

"hahaha...you asshole...hahaha"

If you're wondering what illness I have that requires me to take medicine every time? Just like everyone facing misfortunes. I'm also fortunate enough to have it. Just like when someone faces a calamity like being fired from their job and becoming unemployed, or an actor failing to get their dream role. These are the last days of his youth as he has to be realistic. to survive and realize that the Entertainment Industry is not where he belongs.

Hmm... that doesn't seem quite right.

Here's a more fitting analogy. Like someone who has an accident and has to lose a body part due to amputation.

I have experienced something similar, I lost something. The difference is what they lost. Jobs, dreams, body parts. I lost something important for my vision ability.

I have a condition called Achromatopsia (difficulty in distinguishing colors) with an unusual case due to an accident when I was young. Since that day, the world I live in and see will never be the same. Nevertheless, I can still pursue my dreams, even though I cannot do it 100%.

I can only imagine colors from my memories. Fortunately, it did not take away my ability to imagine, which is why I am now a writer and Fajar is the illustrator. Despite that, I can still see. Red, blue, yellow "In other respects" things that make me have to take medicine every day to suppress it, so it doesn't become too overwhelming. I call it "Eyes Of Sadness" a term I created myself.

Because, I used to think I had some kind of superpower. Now, it has become a kind of mockery for myself.

In short, this is like the ability to see the colors of emotions. You might be confused, "Seeing emotions? I can just look at their facial expressions..." I'm sure that's what you're thinking. Let me give you an example of two couples at the table next to the left.

"I'm sorry, I can't continue this relationship. I don't want you to be tossed around in uncertainty," the guy said.

"Why do you have to leave? Why Japan? You know I can't live without you," the girl expressed.

"Sorry, sorry. But I don't want you to suffer more than this. Let's just end it here, dear," the guy replied.

"Why does it have to be like this? Aaaaaaah!" the girl sobbed.

"Uuu Week" you probably think this is a sad story of a couple about to be separated by distance and time. But in my view, it's very different.

First, the guy emitted orange smoke from his body when he said he had to leave. This might mean he is happy because their relationship will end now. There's a possibility the girl is fierce, talkative, or overprotective. That's just a prediction because someone's emotions don't always accurately reflect the behavior of others. But from that, it seems the guy doesn't feel sad at all. Now, you must be wondering, what did I see from the girl? Sadness, right? That's what you think.

If she were sad and regretful, she would emit a light blueish-gray smoke. But instead of sadness, she emitted bright red smoke from her body, indicating she is angry at the guy, possibly because he is a jerk who often gives false hope and breaks promises. There's even a possibility the guy is a cheater. Relax, it's just a brief situation assessment so it's still an assumption.

Seeing the effort she put in, it's understandable she's angry rather than sad. Shortly after, the situation turned into an open conflict, at least open to those who witnessed it.

Guy: "Well... goodbye Milia, I hope you find someone else even though it will be difficult." What nonsense is this.

Girl: "No, I won't, I won't let you go just like that Dahlan." Yes Dahlan, it's better for you to stay silent for now, before you get killed by a bear.

Guy: "I'm really sorry but I can't Mil, maybe we are just not meant to be together." Sigh.. sigh, this seems to be the end of your fate.

Guy: "Bye now... nice to have met you Milia." Foolish, suicidal thoughts echoed in my mind.

Girl: "Bam...!! YOU JERK OF A GUY...!!!" Boom! The bomb had already exploded.

Guy: "Oh damn... oops,"

Girl: "WHAT...WHAT...!! IS IT TRUE WHAT MY FRIENDS SAID, THAT YOU'RE A JERK, SELFISH, AND NOT TO MENTION MY MONEY IS GONE! JUST TO SATISFY YOUR EGO ALONE...!!!"

Guy: "Wait... why are you mad, DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE WILLING TO DO IT FOR ME...!!!"

Girl: "YOU A#*$@! IT'S NOT ABOUT WILLING OR NOT. BUT ACTUALLY, I ALREADY KNOW YOU DIDN'T REALLY GO TO JAPAN. YOU'RE JUST A LIAR...!!!" Instantly, the image of a gentle, caring, and attentive woman vanished into thin air, and many other names of the specimens she mentioned.

Emotions depict their perspectives on something or a situation. Through shadow projections, and usually, I categorize the severity of emotions by the intensity of colors, and why I call it projections is because it's the aura of colors enveloping their bodies. At least that's what I see through my flawed eyes. But strong or impactful emotions usually leave a trace that I can see if I want to.

Now, before that, let's see the end of the story of these two bickering individuals.

Guy: "ENOUGH, IT'S POINTLESS TO TALK TO YOU, LET'S JUST END IT...!!!"

Girl: "WHO'S THE ONE STRONG ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH AN INDECISIVE GUY LIKE YOU...!!!"

Guy: "FINE...!!!"

Girl: "FINE THEN...!!!"

Guy: "Hmm... how about this, Mil. I'll use your money first. I'll replace it at the end of the month." Suddenly, there was a moment of silence and the girl came out with a pouty face.

In short, every emotion of living beings leaves a specific trace on objects or the environment (humans, animals, and plants) as objects can emit emotions. Inanimate objects (tools, vehicles, and others) can only be exposed by living objects. However, from this exposure, it produces a projection of past events in the form of a shadowy aura. For example, the table and chairs used by the harmonious couple earlier. Their emotions are still clearly visible until now, as well as their projections.

I refer to this ability as "Record Memories," seeing emotions in exposed living objects, creating projections, creates past memories of the user of the object.

Question: Why does this ability bother you?

Because this ability makes me suffer a lot. Because, just like other humans, I DON'T WANT, DON'T LIKE, DON'T WANT TO KNOW. How do other people feel, what if this happens, what if that? Well, I'm still a selfish human being. I'm not a superhero who is willing to sacrifice my life for something that doesn't concern me. And also because I don't want to know everything that happened in the past like a historian. Not to mention the side effects that burden my brain capacity. One time, I passed out for a week from using this ability for too long, just because I was curious how far I could take it.

Question: Why does this ability bother you?

Because this ability makes me suffer a lot. Because, just like other humans, I DON'T WANT, DON'T LIKE, DON'T WANT TO KNOW. How do other people feel, what if this happens, what if that? Well, I'm still a selfish human being. I'm not a superhero who is willing to sacrifice my life for something that doesn't concern me. And also because I don't want to know everything that happened in the past like a historian. Not to mention the side effects that burden my brain capacity. One time, I passed out for a week from using this ability for too long, just because I was curious how far I could take it.

The second question of course, have you ever used it for good?

The answer is yes, and I wouldn't do it again. Why? One day, a young man gained something from losing something. However, despite his stupidity, he felt a sense of responsibility after enthusiastically remembering Uncle Ben's words. Unfortunately, he was unable to do so. In the end, he tried. Thwart a pickpocketing incident. Unknowingly, the pickpocket who was caught had a sickly child. And the disease will take the child's life. Due to lack of costs for hospital treatment. He realizes that changing the future doesn't make things better; instead, things got worse. That's why superheroes only exist in fiction.

"Hmm... What an odd couple? They were crying like a drama scene. Now they're fighting like a presidential debate," teased Fajar.

"That's life, Jar... jar," I responded simply.

"By the way, how is the effect of the medicine? Is it working?" Fajar asked again.

"It's worked, calm down," I answered.

"Hmm...calm down, your face looks tense. Besides, don't forget to take your medicine. Otherwise, your mother will scold me." Dawn grumbled.

"Yeah... yeah, I know, cranky," I answered.

The effects of the medicine were starting to be felt; the shadow slowly disappeared. That is the function of the medicine that I have to take every day to suppress this unwanted ability. It's not 100%, but at least I don't have to see Projections, or faint from overexerting myself, leaving only a few shadows of emotions, both from objects and people.

Luckily the person next to me didn't notice my annoying abilities. If he finds out, he'll be shocked and probably think I'm an alien or force me to become a superhero so he can be my sidekick. Hahaha... just kidding, I just don't want other people to worry about my condition. Only my mother knows about this disease. I asked him to keep it a secret from everyone, even my father and sister. I don't want other people to know because what happened to me will make them even more worried. And only my mother knows about this condition.

The next question of course is, have you consulted a doctor about this and anyone who knows this secret?

And I said, Yes. I had it checked by a doctor, and they didn't find anything strange in my eyes or brain. The doctor only gave the same diagnosis that my trauma disrupted the nervous system, causing abnormalities in the color differentiation section of the brain. Regarding my abilities, it is still a mystery in the medical field. He could only give me medicine to prevent the stress caused by my ability. which unknowingly helped me control it. So, obviously who knows about my abilities.

"Good afternoon viewers, back with us, T12 News," came the voice of the TV broadcasting the news.

"The murder of a public official has occurred again. The latest victim is a member of the Central Prosecutor's Office, Arif Susilo, a 53 year old prosecutor who was the victim in the incident that occurred last night," reported the news anchor.

"Hi Miss, please turn up the TV volume." Fajar asked.

"Hmm...it's really weird for you to pay attention to the news," I teased.

"You're noisy, this news is booming. Haven't you heard of it?" he replied.

"Yes, it's been all over social media. Lots of speculation. But I'm not interested; I have a lot of work to do," I answered.

"Based on information circulating, a letter was found hanging from a red string above the victim's body, strongly indicating that the victim was part of the Red String Killer case," continued the news anchor.

"Sorry, Mrs. Iswara, for the victim himself, is it true that the victim was also a victim of the Red String Killer?" one of the journalists asked a female police officer who was investigating the case. With raised eyebrows, the policewoman responded to the reporter.

"Hahh, ma'am...!" Policewoman's response to reporter's call.

"Ahem... Regarding that, we can't confirm it until we investigate further," he answered coldly.

"As for the motive itself, has the police been able to find out all this time? Please give your opinion, ma'am," interjected another journalist.

"As for the motive, we from the police cannot reveal it yet, waiting for further investigation," he answered curtly as if holding back his emotions.

"But ma'am..." the reporter's statement was suddenly cut off. With an expression starting to change with annoyance, he corrected the reporter's words.

"Miss! Miss, please forgive me, if possible. Miss," he said with a smile, trying to control his annoyance.

Feeling uneasy, the reporter continued with another question.

"Excuse me... Excuse me Miss Iswara," asked another journalist.

"Yes," he answered enthusiastically.

"Maybe this is a strange question, but many people ask through the comments column on our social media, wondering whether Miss Iswara already has a partner...?" The reporter asked stupidly, making the atmosphere awkward.

"Hmm because it's out of context, and it's my personal matter. I have the right not to answer. Thank you." He answered coldly.

"But, Miss..." reporter 1

"How ?" reporter 2

"Is..." reporter 3

"Huh, what's wrong?" I answered curtly.

"Listen first...!" he said, trying to explain.

"Okay… fine, I'm listening," I said.

"Look, Penjahat Karirango is almost finished now. How about we work on a new project with a Detective theme, bro?" he suggested with a smile.

"Hmm, let me guess. Her character is a women with shoulder-length black hair tied in a ponytail, appearing tough and seemingly grumpy, fair-skinned, and wearing a leather jacket. And she often solves tough cases, right?" I replied flatly while pointing at the TV. With a slight smile, he answered.

"Hehehe... Did you know? Where did you get that reference?" he says. While lighting my cigarette, I said.

"Fajar…Fajar… how long have we been friends? "Just because it's a trending topic, you decided to make it a theme," I said.

"Under the pretext of making a detective themed story. No...!" I answered firmly. Hearing my opinion, his brows furrowed as if he was dissatisfied with my answer. He answered.

"Hahh...! Why...! 'Penjahat Karirango' is coming to an end. We need to prepare for new projects, new ideas, new concepts. Don't tell me this is just an excuse because of your allergy to detective and police-themed stories," he replied while cornering me.

"No, it's not like that. You know I like detective themed stories and so on. I just don't want to apply it in the form of my story because..."

"Because good, honest cops are just fiction, right?" he quickly interrupted my statement.

"Hehh..Fack, here we go again... That's not what I meant."

"Then what is the reason other than your philosophical problem?" he says.

"Short Fuse... Look, first, the reference is too obvious, second, the detective theme is too mainstream..." I was interrupted again.

"But..." He tried to say, and I cut him off.

"Third...! We have decided on the next theme, and finally, fourth, we plan to rest while planning the next theme." I answered firmly.

In the middle of the conversation, a loud voice came from the door, the voice of a young girl who seemed to have just finished her college activities.

"Bro...! Why didn't you pick up Aca? Even though her class finished an hour ago." He says.

"A...A...ACA.. what are you doing here? You said you would go home alone...?" My words were suddenly cut off.

"Because Aca is a caring sister, plus she's beautiful, and it seems like my sister forgot again. So today Aca forgives you, okay? But don't do that again... MY LOVED BROTHER. Oh, A Fajar, how are you ?" His words made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Yoo! As usual, but, there's something different. You look more beauty," Fajar replied.

"Aca could be embarrassed, hehe..." This little girl was blushing? ughhh...

"What a two-faced person. Maybe if you see her appearance and the way she talks with Fajar now, with those layered short haircuts, short-sleeved checkered shirt, and her short skirt, she'd seem like a cute, funny, and kind girl. But believe me, she's a demon straight from Hell. Alright, albeit late, let me introduce you to the most dangerous specimen on Earth. She's my sister, Aca. Her full name is Aca Laskara Wongsoyudan. A fierce girl capable of killing her brother just for borrowing her sandals."

**---------------------*****---------------------**

"FORGIVE...FORGIVE ME, CA... MOM, PLEASE..UOK..UOK"

"Aca, let go of your brother. Look, he's turning blue like that," my mother said.

"Ahh, no mercy at all, This guy doesn't deserve to be reprimanded once or twice. Yesterday he used up half of my baby cream, and now he's wearing my sandals outside until they're dirty. YOU'RE REALLY DAMN ANNOYING, YOU KNOW!!! YOU'RE BASTARD YOU'RE BASTARD DAMN YOU'RE BASTARD!!!" he was crying.

"UOOK.... FORGIVE ME... I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, PLEASE...I'M SORRY...UOK" My apology before death.

**---------------------*****---------------------**

Yes, how fierce he is. And did you know? Which makes it even scarier.

"Has A Fajar eaten?" Aca asked.

"Not yet, just coffee." answered Fajar.

"By the way, Aca brought food. Do you want to try it?" Aca offered.

"But why didn't I see you cooking?" I ask.

"Aca cooking... you didn't even see it." She answered while looking at me sharply.

"Hmmm...it's not that I don't want Ca, but..." said Fajar.

"Excuse me, Miss... you are not allowed to bring food and drinks from outside here..." A waiter suddenly interrupted his words while looking directly at Aca, then immediately ran away.

The reason is, Aca has tried several times to apply for a part-time job at this cafe. but was continuously rejected, which made Aca annoyed and caused a commotio, That's what makes their relationship a bit awkward. But as if nothing had happened, this brick-faced person still dared to come here confidently and shamelessly, do you know why?

As experts say, wild creatures only change in two conditions: first, before their death, or second, during the mating season. and what is clear, she is in top condition.

"Mmm, delicious..." said Fajar.

"As I've said before."" said Aca

Ugh, typical annoying kid.. How can they bring food for other people but not for their own brother? Look at the fake smile and overly sweet Sundanese accent. Ugh... But did Fajar realize it? From what I saw, there was no change in his attitude when he received that attention.

"Blakkk...! Back To Topic," said Fajar.

"What's wrong? From my point of view, it's clear." I answered.

"But my thinking isn't wrong, right? You always say that a good story is a relevant story. This is good and relevant, bro," replied Fajar.

"It's relevant, bro, but it's not necessarily clear. Our story could be protested again, and it's too mainstream. Mainstream stories lose their authenticity, you know," I answered.

"Wait, Aca just arrived. What's the problem?" Aca asked.

"Ca, I told your brother about my story idea, but he was pessimistic," explained Fajar.

"Sis, listen to Fajar's advice first," said Aca.

"Yes, I listened. It's just that the story seemed too mainstream and didn't match the original plan, Ca," I said.

"Ca, let's focus on our story first. While thinking about our next steps. Why bother debating problems that haven't happened yet? We haven't even finished what we're doing now," I continued.

"But Har..."

"Wait, let me answer the call first," I said suddenly receiving a call which interrupted his words.

"Hello... Why... what..." My face suddenly changed after receiving the call.

"Bro, I have to go. Suddenly there's something important to do." I said while immediately putting my laptop into my bag.

"Where are you going, bro?" Aca asked.

"I just have urgent business. I'll leave Aca with you. Please take Aca home when you're finished. I'll think again later." I said hurriedly while packing my things and leaving.