I'm moving Portland. New York is boring and repetitive. I'm here for 26, except my university time.
I have been living alone since I came back from university. There were many reasons for this. For example, I enjoyed being alone more. But the main reason was that I didn't want to stay in the house where my sister committed suicide.
My family was still in Miami. The same old place. Not much had changed over the years, only a few trees had been added to the front of the house.
My mother had changed a little. Her hair was a little white. didn't wear make-up like before. I don't know if it is due to old age or depression.
My father blamed himself for Nancy's death. It's Dad! You know?! All the responsibilities are for him!
My father thought if he had been closer to Nancy, he could have prevented it from happening. But it wasn't correct. Nancy never told our parents about her problems! She relied on herself.
My father and I used to watch basketball matches two days in a week. He was trying to get close to me so that what happened to Nancy wouldn't happen to me.
I had become close with my dad recently, so when I told him I wanted to move to Portland, he balked. didn't want me to be far from him.
"Of course not! What did you think?!" My dad said.
"Dad, don't worry. It's not a big deal,"
My father drank a glass of cold water. His breathing was fast.
"I said No," he said.
"Honey, calm down. Not even a week has passed since the surgery," my mom said.
I forgot to say, my father had recently a heart operation. But it doesn't matter. He's fine now.
"Isn't it enough that I let you live alone?! Do you have to leave the city?" My father said angrily.
"I don't like here. Also, I'm going for work,"
It's a lie Of course, but they don't need to know.
My mother gave my father a sedative.
"I can talk to my friend and find you a great job right here. They wish to have you," she said.
"No, mom! I don't want anyone to do anything for me. I wanna be independent,"
I prefer to die but my parents do something for me. Not because I hate them or something like that. No! I do love them a lot But if I agree to give them control over my life, it will be hard to take it back.
"This is all your fault!" Dad said to mom.
"Excuse me?!" My mom asked in suprise.
"If you didn't let her study when she got her first PhD, she wouldn't be so proud,"
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. It is funny that a person as intelligent as my father would say such childish things in sensitive situations.
"So what was I doing?! Would I let her die in depression?!" Mom said.
"She has to get married!" Dad said.
Wo,wo,wo. Hung on a second! Where did this come from?! You wanna give me to a man?! Am I a commodity or something?!
"How many time I have to say dad, I'm cold in bed," I said.
"You didn't say you're cold. You said you don't like men. Then go in a relationship with a girl. Listen, if you're a lesbian, I'm ok with it. Actually, My partner's daughter is also a lesbian and she's a nice girl…I can introduce you to each other if you want,"
Ah…It started again. Every time this happens, he thinks I'm a lesbian.
"Thanks for your suggestion, Dad, but I'll pass,"
I got up. really tired of these discussions.
"In any case, I'm leaving, just came to tell you," I left the house.
I had packed my things, didn't have a bed to sleep.
My next door neighbor was an Egyptian girl named Leila who came to America two years ago. She was nice, and kind. Always enjoying to talk with her. I knocked on her door, she opened it.
"Elizabeth, what's going on?" Leila asked kindly.
"Actually, I packed my stuffs, don't have a bed to sleep. Can I stay at yours tonight?!"
"Of course, just…,"
"Yeah?!"
"I only have one bed. Do you…wanna share it together?!" She asked with a little stress.
I'm sure she has a crush on me. Sometimes she looks at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention. Didn't dare to look in my eyes now. Let me see…her body is very attractive. A little skinny with wavy hair and Arabic skin. Fantastic.
But these are not important to me. I know she is a good girl, but I can't do it.
"I can sleep on sofa," I said, trying to figure her out.
"O…ok, If you want," she said in a sad voice.
Believe me. It's good for her. I'm not that type of girls. I'm very cold and soulless. I think I will never find love.