I thought I could go back to sleep since I still have like two hours before I leave for work, but I couldn't. I tried closing my eyes for minutes but I still couldn't sleep. I tried hard convincing myself that Ric's call has nothing to do with this sudden insomnia but how do I even believe that, when I know it is the cause. But I know that I had to stop myself from thinking about him as well as his blind date. So I just went for an early run before heading to work. I was very early, probably the first person to reach the office. I buried myself in work like I had no other option. Working has become a kind of coping mechanism for me. After work I headed home to take a nap. I was exhausted.
I could hear the voices coming from the tv when I woke up. That's strange because I didn't even care to turn on the tv when I came back, I headed straight to bed since I was very tired. I reach for my phone on the bed stand but couldn't find it there. I look around the room but didn't see my bag. I come down from the bed and groggily move to the living room, my sight a bit hazy. I find the tv still working and Ric fast asleep on the couch in the living room. (I wonder when he came).
I find my bag and reach for my phone to check the time. It's eight in the evening. I didn't even know I slept this long. I look for the remote control to switch off the tv, worried it would wake him up. He was sleeping Peacefully. Looking as if he has no worries entirely. His face stripped of all the worries he's been carrying recently. He looks better this way. Like the Ric I know and want around. I just sat there watching him until his set of eyes open to meet mine. I quickly look away, embarrassed he caught me watching him.
"Oh, you up?" He asks godgily.
"I should be asking you that" I say.
" Yh sure. I didn't know when I dozed off." He says.
"When did you even come?" I ask him because I remember him saying he wouldn't come today. Just the mere thought of that phone call makes me a little bitter.
"Like two hours ago I think." He says
"You should have woken me up"
"You looked exhausted. I knew you needed the sleep" he said and we went quiet again.
"What changed your mind? Thought you said you weren't coming today"
"I just wanted to see you"
"Okay." Is all I say.
"Okay?" He asked looking at me in a questioning manner. (What does he want me to say?)
"Yeah"
"Won't you even ask me?"
"Ask you what?"
"How the date went." He responds and I felt a pang of guilt.
"Oh sorry. How did it go?" I ask and he doesn't respond to that for sometime. He Just kept looking at me.
"I asked how the date went Ric."
"Went well." Is all he says sighing while leaning back to the couch.
"That's great then. Are you meeting her again?"
"Not really."
"Huh, Why?" I ask slowly, trying to process his response. "Not really? But you said it went well?" I add.
Ric shrugs, avoiding my gaze. "It was fine, I guess. She was nice and all, but there was just no... She is not what am looking for." He says lightly.
I feel a strange sense of relief wash over me, which I quickly try to push away. I should be supportive of him finding someone, right?I know that's the right thing to do.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," I say, hoping I sounded sympathetic. "But you know what they say, sometimes it just takes meeting the right person."
Ric turns to look at me then, his eyes intense. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Or maybe..." He trails off, seeming to think better of whatever he was going to say.
An awkward silence stretches between us. I clear my throat. "Well, I'm glad you came over anyway. I missed your company today." I say managing to find my voice. The words feel kind of loaded, but I push that thought aside.
The corners of Ric's mouth quirk up in a small smile. "Me too. Being around you is...easier than all that dating stuff." he says smiling before he quickly wipes the smile off his face. As if in realization.
'I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be saying that" he adds. He was fidgeting a bit with his fingers which is a sign of a nervous Ric. I don't like him being this way. I prefer the Ric I know, the confident Ric.
"It's okay" I say "I think being around you is easier for me too" I add. I know I shouldn't have but then it's not like saying it is a big deal. Besides I can't help but feel happy right now.
Ric's smile widens and he nudges me playfully with his shoulder. In this moment, everything feels perfect, comfortable. Like maybe this is how things are meant to be and I want it to remain like this.