No matter what distractions, Solanne can feel it. Down to her bones and her skin. Down to her soul and heart.
She's fucking sinking! And that she's just watching her boat being swallowed by water.
Solanne has been in the same frustrated thought everytime something happens like this and everytime, she let her fears win. Was it really that easy to overcome them? She scoffed. She's already on the very of tears.
She laid on her bed, eyes on the sunset watching the sky painted with hues of orange pastel color. It's getting dark yet, she didn't even bother to stand up and on the lights. She just laid there, and let the darkness swallow her.
She wanted to sleep yet she feels like her head was about to explode because of the headache. She wanted to go out, bury her thoughts with different lights and the bustling noises of the city, yet, she was stuck her in the province without any transportation.
Should she go for a walk? She wanted to see the ocean too.
Grabbing her phone, earpods, and jacket she decided to go down stairs.
"Where you going?" Yael asked. He's in the kitchen feeding the cats. Solanne chuckled seeing the expectant eyes of the cats.
"I think you are the one over feeding them. It's just pass 6."
Yael raised his right brow. "Right. It's pass 6. It means dinner."
"Meow." Both of the cats meowed as if they're agreeing with Yael's logic.
"Right," Solanne back down. Solanne didn't notice yet, her lips were smiling. "You should feed them."
Yael crouch down and transferred some dry food on their bowls. The cats were happily eating. "Answer my question, missy. Where you going?"
"Missy?" Solanne repeated. Did something possess him? He's stiff and uptight a few days before now he's calling her missy? Solanne looked at the kitchen counter. She saw the stack bond papers there. He's reading something.
"Are you possessed? Have some manners. I'm older than you."
"Don't wanna." He grinned. Solanne's eyes widen. How to even describe what she's feeling. She's beyond shock, alright. What happened to him? "Besides, answer the question."
Solanne sighed. "The ocean."
"There's an ocean here?" Yael asked back. He stood up, because of that, Solanne can clearly see his surprised and excited look.
"You don't know?" She frowned asking back.
"No. Would I ask if I know?" Yael sarcastically answered.
"Well," Solanne was speechless. She raised both of her hands in surrender. She looked at the time. She needs to go now. "Fine. You win. I'll go now."
"Wait!" Yael countered. He put the cat's dry food down and grabbed his phone.
"Is there something?" Solanne's gaze followed him. He was standing there, looking clueless.
"I wanna come too."
"Eh?"
"What?" Yael countered. He seemed too eager to go. He even closed the windows and check the doors to ensure that the cats are safe before they leave.
"It's an hour walk," Solanne stated hopping he'll lost interest.
His eyes sparkled. "That's even great. I need some exercise."
Solanne blinked as she looked puzzle.
Yael stared back at her. He scoffed as his lips formed a smile.
"If you're thinking of any excuses to make me stay, don't even try. I'll come no matter what."
"…"
Yael looks so determined. Solanne blinked back, trying to pull herself back as she was in daze. Who wouldn't be surprised? He's acting like a different person now. It's just a few hours!
"Right, you can come but since when did your attitude change?" She bluntly asked. "You're always quiet and has this own world that you only know and now you're even begging to come with me?"
Yael frowned as he tilted his head. "You made it sound like I'm a very terrible person. And I'm not begging. I'm just asking you. There's a difference."
"Well? Have you remembered our first meeting?" Solanne grinned back. Her eyes were challenging him.
"I have reasons. Besides, I just realized that if I'm going to be stuck here, might as well do everything I want."
"Just that?" Solanne pressed.
"Just that," Yael nodded.
Solanne eyed him suspiciously. "You don't look convincing."
He shrugged. "I'm not even trying to convince you. Besides, it's not my problem."
"You're not planning something are you? Wait! Are you planning on drowning me?" Solanne asked again.
"What do you think of me? A criminal!"
"No. Just making sure"
"I'm offended."
"Glad to know." Solanne simply said.
"Can we go now? The time is ticking." Yael sounded annoyed as he rolled his eyes.
Solanne turned around and started to walk. Yael followed her. "Don't complain later."
"Why would I?" Yael puffed his chest. He sounded so confident.
--
"Are we there yet?"
"We're just 20 minutes in!" Solanne rolled her eyes. "I told you not to complain."
"I'm not complaining. I'm just asking. Curious, to be excat."
"Excuses."
Under the veil of the stary night, Yael and Solanne walked through the forest using their phones as their flashlights. Through the distance, they can hear the crickets and the different sound of insects blending in the night.
The forest that looks like a lustrous green wonder during the day now looks like a majestic path to a different world.
Though Solanne and Yael have their phones as lights, what in front of them was just so majestic they're tempted to off their phones.
The moon was out and the silvery glow of the moonlight filters though the trees silhouette casting patterns on the ground. With the glow of the light, one can't help but feel breathless seeing how enchanted it was. It's like a place were mysteries and secrets were hidden in the darkness.
"This is my first-time walking in the forest," Yael randomly adds.
"You haven't tried this before?" Solanne asked. The sound of their footsteps and the crickets were the only noise they could ever hear. It was different. Everything was, compared to the city.
Yael nodded. His eyes were draw to the sight right in front of them. From time to time he was taking photos.
"All my life, all I know, was just acting."
Solanne's mouth was shut. Was Yael opening up to her? But, she can't find any words right now. She's still surprised of how his attitude just changed over a few hours.
"Right," Yael stirred the topic somewhere else. "Since when did you know about the ocean here?"
Solanne smiled confidently. "Of course, my purpose her is to have a vacation. I've done my research. Besides, it was my friend's recommendation."
"You have a friend?" Yael asked back. He sounded surprised.
"How rude," Solanne rolled her eyes. His tone was different there yet Solanne can't pin point if it was a statement, an insult, or even a joke. Since she's older she pushed it aside.
Solanne shut her mouth as she feels the cold air brushed through her. Yael did the same. There were no words exchanged, still, they both enjoyed each other's company.
--
"It's pretty dark."
After an hour of walking, Yael and Solanne had arrived at their destination. There was no light since there were no houses near the beach. Still, hearing its waves, Solanne feels satisfied. Well, it's a bit different for Yael.
"What do you except from an ocean when it's night?" Solanne sarcastically commented.
"Well, I was thinking of a more romantic vibe." Yael admitted. "Like the moon light, the stars, and the soft air and the sound of the waves."
"Wow. Are you an author?" Solanne mocked. Yael meaningfully gazes at her, yet since she's looking at the ocean in front of her, she didn't even notice. "This is the reality. A dark ocean and the light of the moon can only give us enough light to not trip. Still, the sound of the waves is comforting right?"
Solanne didn't wait for Yael to reply as she run towards the ocean tossing her slippers while the flashlight of her phone was opened.
She felt like a child once again. On her feet she can feel the cold water, and the force of the waves. She giggled, as if she was being tickled. She didn't really care if Yael was watching her. She came her to calm her nerves and to think, that's all.
From a distance, she saw him, flashlight on, walking barefoot on the sand. He rolled his pants to his knees and his eyes seemed to be distant.
Solanne sighed and looked up.
They're strangers.
They know nothing about each other, yet, at the same time, each gazes, each glance, each stare was familiar.
It was because Solanne often stared at herself that way on the mirror. The looks of a stranger.
It baffles her.
Yael was the person who has everything this world has to offer yet he seemed unsatisfied.
She was not the one who judges.
Half of her body feels like it's already in hell. These…
this trip, was just a distraction. She'll soon wake up anyway. A way from this province. A way from this life. A way from this fragile illusion called peace.
That's right, she bitterly laughs. "Everything was just a distraction, nothing more."
--