I crouched over the book like some hillbilly who had just found the last bit of food on a deserted mountain.
My eyes squinted under the candlelight, and I pouted at the blurry blacks against the white sheets. I was about to give up and go to sleep once again, but I thought about fighting insomnia again and decided to give it another try.
I pushed the book near the small candle battling the breeze from the window.Now the blurry shapes began to form into letters.I grinned to myself over the small victory.I prepared myself to dive in.
The bedroom door opened with a violent swing, forcing me to jerk up.
The dim candlelight could only illuminate about an arm's length around me. For the first time, I couldn't sense him before he spoke.
"Kiara."
The voice chilled my insides and made me recoil a bit.
He sounded mad—really mad.
I closed the book and stared at the tall figure in the dark.
"Adriel."
He took a few calculated steps forward, and I saw him clearly; his face was eerily calm in the small light.
He gently took the candle from my hand and walked around the room, lighting up the other candles one by one.The more candles were lit, the clearer I could see his frown.
I don't like this. I don't like this one bit.
I pulled my robe properly over my chest and waited patiently for him to be done. He set the last candle near the bed stand and faced me.
I wanted to state that he was doing a good job with the 'distance thing' so far but I let it go. This seemed like a bad time for that.
He stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time. This might also be the first time I didn't enjoy the scrutiny of his gaze. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Shadrach found those poison plants.But still..
"Is everything alright?" I asked anyway; the silence was another uneasy thing to endure.
"What's your relationship with Shadrach?"
I swallowed, slightly appalled by the question and the way it was delivered.His stare didn't soften on me and his tone was harsh. I decided to answer anyway.
"He is one of the few friends I have had since childhood; we were really young when we first met, by then he was an apprentice and had the chubbiest cheeks I've ever seen, " I laughed. He didn't share my mirth.So I shortened the story. "Our relationship is complicated and funny."
"Is it so complicated that you casually jump from friends to lovers?"
I heard, but I didn't comprehend.
"What?"
"Are you sleeping with him?"
My head cocked sideways, and I stood up, fastening my robe. "What do you mean?"
His gray eyes bore into mine, unapologetic and cold as fuck.
"Do you or do you not sleep with him?"
I gave him a choked scoff, giving him time to take it back. He didn't. That's when my brain decided to sober up. I began comprehend exactly what he was accusing me of.
"How could you even have the audacity to ask me that? Where did you even get that outwardly idea?"
"It doesn't matter; what matters is your answer to the claims."
"Oh my God…"I whispered repeatedly to myself, clasping my forehead. My chest heaved with anger. How dare he even think of me so lowly?
"This is so humiliating." I sobbed silently. "I thought you said you knew me...Do you really believe it?"
He took a deep breath and released it. He was silent. But I knew exactly how he felt.
"You do…" I nodded to myself.Still digestion the information "Oh my God, you believe it. You think I am that shameless?" My voice had gone soft, or more plainly, hurt.
"No,that's why I asked,"he finally said, but it was a lie.
"No, don't take it back now. I can tell by that accusatory tone that you seem pretty goddamn convinced. You are not asking me because it bothered you that someone said such lies about me; you are asking because you actually think that there's a possibility."
"Kiara…"
"And I am so disgusted that I let myself go so far that you of all people can accuse me of such nonsense."I spat with regret. "You have no right to disrespect me this way."
"You always seem so flawless, don't you? You present this image of an angel, like you can do no harm and are not involved in any dirty shit. Like a fucking saint,"he chuckled dryly. "But you are a complete opposite, Kiara; you are really just a skilled manipulator hiding under a goddamn mask!" he yelled at me.
"I have told you to tone your voice down when you speak to me." I said firmly.
"Fuck it!" he barked, knocking his fist on the table.
I cowered and decided to walk away.
"I am not going to take this; I cannot handle this stress."I muttered walking past him.
But halfway across the room, he pulled me back towards him so we were face-to-face.
"You are not going to walk away from this conversation, Kiara; I won't allow it."
"I'm not walking away from the conversation; I'm walking away from you and this lunatic aggression you have.This compulsive rage! It's repulsing. I cannot stand it, I cannot stand you!! "
"Oh yeah? Is that why you would rather fuck Shadrach?"
My right hand smacked him in the cheek. It happened out of instinct, and I regretted it instantly. But I had to stand firm.I couldn't show fear or guilt now.
"I did not sleep with anyone. And I will not let you disrespect me like that."
He bit his lips menacingly and looked at me as his pupils contracted. His hands clutched around my shoulders, and his breaths can out in disorganized random bits. It was like he was shuddering in fury.I panicked.
"Please." I whimpered
His eyes softened for a moment, and just as quickly as it happened before,the hands that grabbed me released me.
We both walked away from each other; this was toxicity in the highest degree. His hands rested on the sides of the mirror table, holding on hard to it like it was his last bit of strength.
"Adriel." I called, attempting to make peace. I shouldn't have slapped him. Violence is never the answer.
"You lied to me," he said randomly.Like he was talking to someone else.
"What?"
"I asked you about the garden stroll, and you lied. He was there but you lied about it.You lied for him Again,"
He raised his head in the mirror to watch me as he spoke.
His reflection saw my guilt. I couldn't deny it, but I couldn't explain it either. Shadrach had spied and trespassed. Adriel's aggression, coupled with his new-found hatred for Shadrach, will be his death for sure. But I didn't want to lie again; I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Adriel saw all these emotions build in my face and bent his head down in disappointment. He knew I wasn't going to tell him what happened in the garden.
"I didn't sleep with him though—I kissed him once, so many years ago, and nothing else ever happened. I swear, "
I don't know why I felt the need to let him know that, but I did.I wanted to confess it all. I didn't want him to think of me that way. I didn't want to argue; I didn't want him to be angry with me. I wanted him to know that I was still his Neonata. I walked to him and touched his shoulder.
"You know Kiara? he said, raising my hand off him. He turned his face as he said the last words.
"I cannot stand you either."
With that he left and slammed the door behind him.I stared at the empty room in part-confusion.What just happened?