Chapter 28: Invasion of Privacy
For what at this point amounted to the biggest heist of his career, Null was extremely calm. One would normally sweat bullets while crawling through an air duct into the most secret sanctum in Gotham City, but not him. He'd been experimenting with his powers to the point where he could create magnetic interference around himself, rendering motion detectors useless.
'This is stupid easy,' Null thought to himself, keeping from trying to voice this thought out loud. From what Red Hood had told him, there were noise detectors as well. But that wasn't an issue as long as he didn't do anything foolish, 'Man, why is this so easy?'
Even after pausing to dry himself off from the rain that began to come down outside, he still breezed through his infiltration.
He'd expected too much. When it came down to it, the strength of the Batcave wasn't really its defenses. Yes, it was chock full of top-of-the-line security measures that Null had to take great care in circumventing. But plenty of other places had an equal level of technology maintaining its security. Null himself had broken into a place with better security back when he was still fresh off of Catwoman's training. He was taught to deal with all of these things, and had powers that could let him cheat to do some of it.
The true strength of the Batcave was that almost no one with the desire to do harm to Batman or his followers knew where it was. If villains knew where it was, it didn't matter what kind of security the place had. They could just keep hitting it again and again until it was unmanageable to stay there. It was why Null didn't put much into outfitting his own hideout. The most important thing he could do to make sure it stayed useful was to make sure no one else ever found it. All the bells and whistles didn't mean much when an army of criminals could launch an assault and raze the place to the ground.
Not that he had such intentions. He had nothing personal against what the Bat People did for Gotham. They just pissed him off to the point where he wanted them to know that he could get to them in their safe space as easily as they could get to him in his. Was it petty? Perhaps. But he was admittedly selfish, so his decisions would of course be self-gratifying.
And speaking of self-gratifying, there was little more that he'd done up to that point in his life that had felt better than getting his first glimpse at the inner sanctum of the city's finest heroes.
The Batcave was vast and dark, but even without being able to see all of it from where he chose to slip inside, he could feel the technology stuffing the place. He could almost taste the power that it took to run all of it indefinitely.
Null quietly bent the bars in front of the air duct, and crawled out in what looked to be a hangar/garage area. There was no going back now, and the first thing he saw when he touched the ground prompted him to stare.
'This motherfucker has a plane?' Null thought to himself in awe before shaking it off, 'Oh, no. That's a transformed Batmobile. I've seen Nightwing in one. He probably borrowed it.'
Which meant that technically, Null had been in Batman's car/plane before. Outstanding.
Batman had all manner of vehicles from motorcycles, to replacements for the Batmobile. A part of him wanted to take one during his escape, but there was no way he would ever get away with it, which was fine. In his head, he convinced himself that he didn't need to, because the Gravboard was cooler.
'Focus, Max!' Null urged himself when his thoughts started to stray toward what he figured he could get away with stealing, 'You've got a job to do... and if you fuck it up, Red Hood will find a way to fuck you up.'
Batman would also want to chip in on that effort. Speaking of whom, Red Hood had assured Null that there wouldn't be many enemies present during the infiltration.
XxX
(Meanwhile – Gotham City)
Despite knowing better, Red Hood breathed deeply. The air smelled overwhelmingly of chemicals, "Probably not the best idea to have a gun fight in a drug lab," He said, though it was meant more for anyone else left alive to hear him than to himself.
Said drug lab was a flaming mess. Red Hood had come in, guns blazing, making things as loud and dragging them out for as long as he could. All the primary security force could do was fall back inside, and eventually there was nowhere else to go other than the labs themselves. Trapping the criminals like rats, Red Hood set it ablaze and picked off anyone who decided to come out and make an attempt at a last stand.
The building burned as Red Hood walked away, admiring his handiwork. There were no sirens within earshot. With all of the potential accelerants inside, that place would burn before anyone got there soon enough to stop it.
"There you go," Red Hood said aloud, "...Give you all a nice little preview of what hell's going to be like," It was certainly hot enough inside.
It was the best they could expect. They were scum, and not even the kind of scum he could make use out of. There were separate gangs that he had managed to snake a semblance of loyalty out of, in exchange for pushing away the crime boss Black Mask, who tried to bring them under his dominion.
They paid him a cut of what they made, and they adhered to his rules on how to go about doing business. In exchange, he didn't kill them, and he did kill their rivals that worked for the Black Mask. Since these types didn't fall into his camp, they were fair game. He had no mercy for them.
"You did this to yourselves, you know," Red Hood said, taking one last look at the blaze before heading away from it, "None of this would be happening if you weren't drug-pushing, cop-killing pieces of shit. And let's be honest, the chances of any of you living five more years is slim, to say the least."
Even for 'his' gangs, their days were numbered. He just had a bit of housekeeping to see to first before he could start going in sweeping Gotham City for real. There weren't a whole lot of people on the side of right who could stop him, or who would. But the ones who would try to were formidable. As a matter of fact, he was expecting one, and he was not to be disappointed.
As he skulked away, Red Hood paused. Now the sounds of sirens echoed in the distance, a ways away from where he'd managed to make it to. But that wasn't what had caused him to stop. No, he felt a presence. A familiar presence. The one he'd been waiting on. Tonight was the night.
Turning around, the dark, looming presence of Gotham's chief protector looming over him from a fire escape. Well, if it wasn't the big dog himself. Or big bat, in this case. Either way, Red Hood showed no fear, "Fashionably late to the party, though I'm really glad that you came at all."
Batman didn't rise to Red Hood's attempt to bait him, "No. I don't know who you are, but all of this ends tonight."
The man had been killing drug dealers and gangbangers for months, murdering them in cold blood. In the current climate, it was riling them all up, making them quicker to resort to violence in their own rights. It couldn't continue like this, or more regular people would be hurt by them before Red Hood wiped them out.
Red Hood's fingers flexed in anticipation of the coming confrontation, "I didn't even hear you land. That ride of yours is a really stealthy piece of hardware when you want it to be. You can just be so... quiet."
He pulled out a pair of handguns and began firing at Batman, who scrambled down the fire escape, using the metal to avoid being hit with any bullets. Eventually, he dove off altogether and landed behind a dumpster to take cover. As he crouched down, Batman placed a rocket charge onto the dumpster, activating it to send it speeding forward at the stalking Red Hood.
"Hah! You're fast! Always so fast!" Red Hood saw the receptacle coming at him and jumped into the air to avoid it, only to find his legs ensnared with a rope-attached Batarang, "You simply act! You-, oof!" He hit the ground in a heap, dropping his guns. He then began working to cut himself free with a knife, "It has to be beyond thought! Well past instinct!"
Batman wasn't simply going to let him do so, but as he bore down on him, Red Hood pulled out a device he attached to the rope. Clipping it on, Batman was temporarily stopped in his tracks with a sudden burst of electricity.
Red Hood took the opportunity to get the rest of the way off of the ground, "A finely-tuned instrument. A body trained to perfection. Techniques honed and mastered. And all of those expensive toys to wield against the malignant scum that ravages this city," He said, "But you're not the only one with toys."
He wasn't, but then again, Batman had no shortage of things he could use to fight his enemies. Still recovering from the shock, he reached into his utility belt and pulled out tiny explosive balls. Red Hood saw them as he drew them, and fled for the fire escape before they even touched the ground.
Batman grit his teeth and quickly scrambled after Red Hood in pursuit, 'That device he used was from Kord Industries. I should know. I ordered it 'special' from them. How can he have it?' He thought before muttering the last part out loud, "I need to know."
Red Hood heard the last part as they both leapt over the edge onto the rooftop, "That's right! On the rooftop like-," Batman smashed his knees into his back, but Red Hood rolled to the side to get him off, stabbing his cape to the roof to buy him some time, "Like a proper battle! But I want you to ask yourself, why!?" He stood and smashed Batman with the heel of his palm, right under the chin. He uncorked two more punches that left Batman reeling, "What have I done? Tell me!"
Batman tasted his own blood on his tongue, but undeterred, he pulled another Batarang and cut off the pinned down portion of his cape to free himself, "Murder!"
It was a necessary motion, but it was one that Red Hood readily exploited, snapping Batman's head to the side with a right cross, "No, I've killed, not murdered," He went to stab Batman overhand, when Batman moved in, blocking by using his shoulder to check Red Hood's forearm high near the elbow, avoiding the blade.
With the close proximity, Batman stunned him with a headbutt. The crack of his hard cowl and Red Hood's helmet sounded out into the night, "Fine, no more blood, period."
XxX
(With Null – Batcave)
'This place is like a museum to kicking ass,' Null thought to himself after having crept through enough of the Batcave to make that assumption. The place had everything. There was even a gallery area, complete with trophies and mementos from different parts of Batman's career. This was where he found his target, encased in a glass capsule, preserved for the sake of sentiment.
It was an older design of the outfit, clearly. Less armored than the one the current Robin had. Null would know, he'd hit the guy enough to know that it was much better at absorbing shock than the one in front of him. The battle damage that covered it could attest to that much. It had the same color scheme he'd become accustomed to seeing from Robin – red, green, and yellow.
'Why are the shorts so short?' Null thought to himself before setting the query aside with a shrug.
Null carefully opened the oxygen-proof display from the top. From there, it was child's play for him to spark the tattered outfit ablaze. If Red Hood had a thing against the Robins, he wasn't the only one. What Null wouldn't give for another excuse to haul off and punch that guy in the face.
'That's one part of the job over with,' Null thought to himself. As he moved away from the displays of hero suits, a jarring noise filled the Batcave. The loud racket caused him to grit his teeth, not only because of how ear-splittingly loud it was, but because it had clearly blown his element of stealth.
Of course, there was a fire alarm of some sort in the Batcave. Why wouldn't one of the most technologically advanced crime-fighting lairs on the planet have a stock-standard emergency alert that could be found in the vast majority of American homes?
Null looked around for a quick way out, and noted that the Robin costume was burning very slowly, "What kind of fire-retardant crap is this thing made of?" He marveled at the durability of the red, green, and yellow suit. Batman didn't mess around when it came to outfitting his apprentices, 'How does he afford this stuff?'
Either way, he made himself scarce, finding a place to hide when he heard rapid footsteps heading his way. Luckily, there was no shortage of things to hide him in the memorabilia section of the Batcave. Null stuck himself flat to the side of a gigantic penny and used his suit's camouflage to turn bronze in color and blend in.
As he waited, some teenage guy rushed into the scene with a fire extinguisher, likely Robin out of costume. Null didn't know him, so he didn't really care. What was more important was the mission. If the goddamn Robin suit wasn't so resistant to burning, it would have been ashes by now. Regardless, he'd still done his job in that regard in setting it on fire. All he had left to do was to leave behind Red Hood's USB and get out of there.
And then, it happened.
"Holy shit," Null whispered as he caught himself staring at Barbara Gordon in the goddamn Batcave. Also, some other teenage guy was there, but he was the least of Null's concerns, "Barbara's one of the fucking Bat People."
While Null grappled with this discovery, the fire on the Robin costume was extinguished, "Oh, man. He is not going to be happy about this one," Tim said after the task was complete, "What do we have? Who's in here? Where are they?"
"None of the sensors ever tripped. But it couldn't have been a glitch. We've got backups for that sort of thing," Barbara told the other guy, "...I'm going to seal everything off."
Hearing that snapped Null back to reality. If they sealed everything off, he would be trapped there until they could go over the Batcave with a fine-toothed comb, and while he believed in his ability to stay hidden, he also understood the chances of him lasting until they cleared everything.
That left him with three options in the moment – fight his way out, talk his way out, or sneak his way out. He decided to attempt them in reverse order, or at least he would have, had Tim not started looking very closely at the giant penny.
'No. Go away,' Null thought, trying to unlock some form of telepathy to guide Batman's male protege away from him, 'There's nothing here. This is just a penny. Just a big-ass penny.'
As Tim stared at the penny, Null stared at him, neither moving. This continued until Barbara noticed Tim not moving, "Hey, what's the matter?"
A sneer slowly came to Tim's lips, "You know... that's a really good trick. But I'd find a way to work on the technology more," He said in Null's direction, "Anyone attentive enough who has decent depth perception could find you eventually."
"..." Null didn't move. He hardly so much as breathed.
Tim rolled his eyes at his enemy's attempt to salvage his situation, "Null, I'm looking right at you. I know it's you, because you're the only person I know with stealth camouflage in your suit."
Barbara finally started noticing the minor discrepancies on the giant penny that Tim had picked up earlier, "Null?"
Again, Null refused to acknowledge that he was made, "..."
Tim walked forward and put his hand on the thief, "I'm literally reaching out and touching you right now," It was a risk of being shocked in response, but one worth dealing with to prove his point, "Null! Our vision isn't based on motion."
At that point, Null finally gave up on Plan A, hiding, and switched over to Plan B, talking it out, "...Parley."
Both Tim and Barbara stared at their criminal counterpart in confusion, "What?"
"Parley," Null repeated, reverting the color of his suit back to the normal dark green as a show of truce, "I invoke the right of parley," He said, hands up.
Tim wanted to punch him in the face, badly, "Are you kidding me? You want a truce after you broke into the-?" It was then that he stopped and wondered just how Null had managed to get there, "How did you get into the Batcave? Why do you know where the Batcave is?"
"Why are you even doing this, Max?" Barbara interjected Null's real name between Tim's interrogative questions, "That's right. We know who you are. We've had it figured out for a while, but you were pardon-."
"-You don't even know why I'm here. And you're a shitty liar. You found out about me a week ago, if that," Max deadpanned before the useless mind games could continue any further. If she'd expected to catch him off-guard with that detail, she was mistaken, "Now we're even, I guess."
True enough, he had caught Barbara without her mask the old-fashioned way. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but until the ability to wipe minds became widespread, it was one she had to deal with, "You don't seem surprised by any of this."
Null wouldn't say that much. He was surprised, but compartmentalization was part of adapting, "Between how you never seem to do anything outside of school, and being related to the police commissioner, after the initial shock wore off, it started making more sense," He then looked over at the unmasked Robin, "...I don't recognize you. We must have never met."
The young man who was Robin rolled his eyes, "Thank goodness for small miracles," He jibed, "So, what are you going to do now?"
Null blinked for a beat in confusion, not certain what Robin was referring to, "About what?"
"You know where the Batcave is, and you know who we are. Now what? What could you possibly be after here?"
Null wanted to smart off and say that despite knowing Tim was Robin, he still didn't know who he was, but remembered he was supposed to be trying to keep from getting into a fight, "I don't want anything. I just want you to know that if you feel like strong-arming me, I know how to get at you directly. By all means, keep doing what you do."
Tim pointed at the case containing his predecessor's suit, "Why'd you burn the Robin costume?"
Null shrugged, "Part of the job. Speaking of which," Hands still in the air, he guided the USB out of his satchel and floated it over to Tim and Barbara, "Here. Delivering that is also part of the job. Compliments of the Red Hood," Both of them seemed surprised that Null had gifted them with that information, "Hey, he didn't tell me not to tell anyone he hired me."
"Red Hood hired you to sneak in and burn a Robin costume," Barbara seemed skeptical.
Null nodded, "He was really specific that it had to be that one. Didn't take him to have a flair for the dramatic," He looked over at Tim, "What'd you do to the guy?"
With all of the characters Tim had come across since becoming Robin, he couldn't remember a Red Hood, "Not sure. We don't even know who he is."
"Neither do I," Null said. Not that he would have told them anyway, "Then again, I'm not in the business of stooging off anyone's identity."
It was a roundabout way of alluding that he wasn't going to tell anyone about who they were, but it seemed to put them a bit more at ease, though Tim still seemed tense. That was fine. Just as long as a brawl didn't start in the middle of the Batcave, Null could live with that.
"So... can I go?" Null requested, once things had reached an awkward lull, "We're not going to fight, right? There's literally nothing you can arrest me for, so there's no point."
"You're a thief," Tim pointed out irritably. Yeah, he was definitely Robin.
"I didn't steal anything," Null defended himself, even though he had really wanted to take something, "I'm more of a messenger tonight."
Barbara fingered the USB in her grasp thoughtfully, getting a verbal jab in on Null in passing, "-And an arsonist. And you destroyed personal property."
She did have a point, much to Null's chagrin. There were other crimes he'd committed other than burglary, "I mean... maybe you have a point with the arson. But the burning the costume thing is more of a civil charge."
Either way, he couldn't be arrested for trespassing on property that wasn't listed. Nor could he be arrested for a crime committed against someone that wasn't going to report it. There weren't any other charges against him, so even if he was beaten to a pulp and dragged to the police, unless the Bat People came off of evidence that defined what the Batcave was and where it was, they couldn't hold him.
Make an attempt to have an understanding of the law before you go out and break it, children.
Barbara frowned, an expression that was matched by Tim. The tribune came together and spoke about the situation and how they would handle it from there. All Null could do was sit back with his fingers crossed.
"What do you think?" Tim whispered to his teammate, trying to get her opinion, "What do you think he'd do if he were here?" They had to have been referring to Batman.
"I don't even know," Barbara admitted while she thought things over, "...We're going to regret this, but I'm going to say let him go."
Tim masked his surprise behind snark, "Of course, you would," He said, alluding to their personal relationship.
"And of course, you'd say to go after him," Barbara shot back, drawing upon Robin's rivalry with Null, "If anything comes up, we know how to find him."
"Yeah, I guess you do," Null butted in as he started slinking back toward the way he'd come in. If they were going to give an inch by debating on letting him go, he was going to take a mile by leaving while he could., "See you on Monday, Barbara."
Null audacity never ceased to amaze Tim, having the guys to break into Batman's base the way that he did, "'See you on Monday,' he says," Tim shook his head, "For all anyone knows, he could skip town after this."
"No, he's not going anywhere," Barbara said with full confidence. Null didn't seem shaken for a moment, even after revealing that he knew his identity was compromised, "He's not scared of us."
Which meant he had been keeping his nose clean for the most part, to the extent that he didn't fear any heroes coming after him, or he felt like he could handle himself if any of them did decide to pursue him.
Robin shook his head after Null had departed the cave, wondering how enough of the Batcave's security measures weren't Null-proof that he managed to get in, "I hate that guy."
XxX
(Meanwhile – Gotham City)
Where had this Red Hood come from? Batman couldn't help but question this for every other move that was made in their fracas.
"Tired?" Red Hood remarked after scoring a clean hit across the face that dropped him. The deadly vigilante lunged with his knife in hand, only for Batman to stop him with an extended leg. He lashed out with a slash of the Batarang in his hand, but it only left a scratch on the front of Red Hood's helmet. Red Hood retaliated with a jumping knee that struck Batman in the face.
Batman went to reach for another tool, but the belt was cut from his waist, along with part of the costume and flesh, 'That's no ordinary blade. It cut through the belt and the body armor.'
Red Hood was smart. He came prepared for a fight specifically with him, and whatever surprises Batman may have had for him.
Air was violently expelled from Batman's lungs via a kick to the stomach. Red Hood went to stab, only for Batman to get ahold of him and throw him off of the roof altogether. Amazingly, Red Hood stabbed into the side of the brick wall to stop his fall. Batman, hurt and annoyed, dropped off the edge of the building and dropped both of his feet into Red Hood's face, dislodging him from handhold and sending them both down forty feet.
The pair crashed onto filled trash bags lining the city sidewalk from the rooftop. Batman landed on top of Red Hood, holding him down by his helmet, his fist cocked to strike as many times as he needed to in order to end the fracas, "This is over," Batman declared.
Red Hood reached up and undid the front of Batman's mask, "No. Not nearly," He swiftly drew his hand away and yanked it off, simultaneously rolling the hero off of him, "Heh... look at you."
Bruce Wayne, the unmasked Batman, stood, still ready to fight, despite the numerous gashes he'd received at Red Hood's hands. Blood poured from his nose and mouth as he continued to size up his deadly foe.
Red Hood reached up and unfastening the latches on his helmet, "Well, I guess we should keep things even," With that, he removed the helmet, revealing his face to Bruce.
Even with the domino mask on, Bruce would never forget the face he saw. Despite being a little bit older than he remembered, it was the same face that haunted his dreams many a night. The face of the first son he had failed, allowed to die in the line of duty.
Jason Todd. The second Robin. Dick Grayson's successor. Tim Drake's predecessor.
"Oh, God..." Bruce managed to choke out.
The aforementioned ghost from his past simply smirked in his face, "No. Want to guess again?"
Bruce straightened his back, fists clenched tightly as though he were prepared to continue the brawl, "You... cannot possibly imagine that I believe this ruse."
Jason laughed, unconcerned with the idea of more fighting. It was psychological warfare he was more concerned with, "Yeah. I think you know it. I think you know it in your gut. I think you've known for weeks, really," He said, trying to convince him, "Come on. With all that's happened, you know it's me standing in front of you."
"It's not possible."
"No, it really is."
Bruce watched him die. Held him as he died. Buried him personally. And yet, there he stood, true enough.
Slowly, Bruce accepted what was in front of him. Perhaps a part of him had wanted to all along, "Jason..."
Jason's grin spread wide across his face, "Yes," Seeing that look on Bruce's face had been better than he'd hoped.
"How did this happen to you?"
Jason took off his gloves, walking away from his fallen helmet, past Bruce without concern, "That doesn't really matter much, does it? Not to me, anyway," He stooped down to grab a discarded Batarang with his bare hand, "Here, fingerprints," Picking up the weapon, he used its sharp edge to cut the back of his own head, "Here's blood, even tissue and hair. Check it all. You'll find that it is me."
Jason threw the Batarang back at Bruce, who caught it in his hand in front of his face, "It won't make me believe."
Jason had no doubt that Bruce would run every test that he could. And when they all confirmed just what he'd been saying all along, it would only hit him that much harder, "No, it will. You are a creature of logic and science. You'll have to know what I am, Bruce. But if I'm a ghost or a zombie, or a clone, that's not what this is really about."
Bruce asked, staring intensely as rain poured down his face, "And what is this really all about?"
Now, they reached the heart of the matter. The point of all Red Hood's extracurricular activities in sending messages to Batman all over Gotham, "You, Bruce. What you are, and what I'll be. I'll be the you that you were supposed to be," He said, taunting Bruce and staking his own claim, "If you had killed Joker years ago... beyond what happened to me, do you know what kind of hell you would have saved countless people? But no, his murder is a long list of sane acts you refuse to commit. You never cross that line. But I will. Death will come to those who deserve death. And death may come to those who stand in my way of doing what's right."
No. He didn't have the right to judge and execute whoever he saw fit, "What in the world makes you think you're the one that gets to make those choices. Do you think you're some kind of punisher of the wicked?"
Jason shook his head, but not to reject Bruce's notion. It was more out of pity, "All of your adult life, you've fought to save Gotham – save her from herself. But you never, ever have understood her," He said, "She's evil. And you have to fight her where she lives. I live there. I'll be the one who finally brings peace."
"No, you won't. You can't."
No matter how many criminals Jason killed, others would just see it as a position open for them. They would see the deaths of their predecessors as a warning, not to keep away from a life of violence and crime, but as a message to better refine their own methods. Work smarter, be deadlier, more dangerous to the city as a whole.
Batman didn't exist to bring peace to Gotham City. He existed to serve as a vanguard for the people living there. As long as man existed, there would be evil. There had to be someone to work to stop it... not escalate it the way that Red Hood would.
It was why they would be at odds from that point onward.
"The saddest part... is that you really believe that," Jason held up a remote detonator and hit the trigger, activating an explosive charge in his helmet near Bruce's feet with a beep.
Gotham's richest vigilante moved to protect himself, turning and moving away from the blast, using his cape to cover himself as best as he could. It managed to protect him from most of the heat, the concussive force, and all of the shrapnel, but it gave Jason an opening to slip away.
Despite the ferocity of their fight, none of this had been meant to finish anything off. It was merely Red Hood saying hello. More specifically, reintroducing himself to his old mentor, his adopted father.
XxX
(With Max – Some Time Later)
"Do you think you're untouchable?"
Max knew that when Monday rolled around, Barbara would attempt to find him at the first opportunity where they could be alone. He didn't shirk away from it when Barbara came up to him in the hall at the end of the day.
"No, I'm very touchable," Max said before shutting his locker and analyzing what he'd just said, "...That didn't sound right. But you know what I mean."
"Did you know?" She asked accusingly, alluding to Red Hood, "Did you know who he was?"
There was no need for Max to lie or be coy, "No. Him dropping in on me and handing me oodles of cash to pay you a visit was the extent of our interaction. Why? Who is he? Whose ass did he kick?" If Red Hood outright beat down the Batman, he was going to find the guy himself and shake his hand.
Barbara kept her eyes peeled as she followed Max through the empty halls after school, "How much do you know about him? You had to have met him before. He wouldn't have just come to you out of the blue and hired you."
And now she was asking too many questions, "I'm not your informant," Max said bluntly. He needed to establish that just because she knew who he was, that didn't mean she had anything to hold over his head, "You don't have anything on me, and there's no amount of money or any threat you could make that would get me to be Gotham City's brand-new snitch."
Criminals hated Null enough already because he only tended to steal from them. If he added sharing all of their illicit secrets on top of that, he'd have a hit put out on his head. Aside from that, he wasn't used to talking with anyone else about Null things during the day. No matter how well he could mask what they were talking about from others, someone else finding out about him wasn't a risk he wanted to take.
Barbara would have been lying if she'd said she hadn't hoped for some kind of relationship that benefited her Batgirl escapades. But Max had always been a stubborn sort, and had never been any better as Null. She lacked the ability to be heavy-handed and frighteningly persuasive the way Batman would have been able to be. At this point though, Max still probably wouldn't have buckled to even Batman.
Things now obviously uncomfortable between them, Max ran a hand through his hair, "So, that aside, I guess we're not friends anymore."
"Is that what you want?" Barbara asked carefully. They had never been absolute best friends, especially now that they knew they'd both always been hiding something so important from the other. But as far as people they spoke to in the daylight hours, they interacted with each other the most, "It's your choice."
Max seemed to consider it for a moment, "No," He eventually said, "I like you as a person, Barbara. And I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't have a huge list of people that I spend any time with."
Barbara took a moment to think of everything that they had dealt with when it came to one another since first meeting. Catwoman's influence on his criminal upbringing had been pronounced. Whether she had instilled it in him during original training, or it had always been his own way of thinking, he'd never taken it personally that they'd tried to stop him from committing heists.
He'd always been more wary of interacting with them. He'd been downright playful in many cases after he'd gained experience. In fact, the only thing that had soured him on the Bat Family to the point where he seemed to take anything personally, especially to the point where he got angry, was during the episode where he'd been Anarky's patsy.
Granted, it had never sat well with Barbara how Bruce let it happen without declaring Null's innocence in order to lull Anarky into a false sense of security. It was a means to an end, and when the dust had settled, it worked out, but largely because of Null's refusal to be used or victimized. Ever since, he'd resented her mentor, Batman, and by proxy, Batgirl and Robin (even more than before in regards to the latter), despite their not being complicit to the plot.
But was he actually that hard-up for friends of any kind that he wouldn't let their respective alignments get in the way? "If that's the case, how do you think this'll go?" Barbara asked, "What, we'll hang out in our outfits for a quick dinner in the middle of my shift?"
Max let out a snort of laughter, "Why not? That was how I hung out with Supergirl."
Oh, yes. Kara had been over the moon about her little 'dates' with Null, even if she'd never put it that way out loud. The thought made Barbara smile, "She sees a lot in you, you know."
"Don't remind me," Max muttered as they exited the school building and stepped down the front stairs, "Anyway, don't sweat this so much. If it really bothers you, think about it like Ralph and Sam," He looked to his side to find Barbara staring with a quirked eyebrow, "...You know... the wolf and the sheepdog. The Looney Tunes characters?"
She was familiar with the reference. It was just odd that it came from him, "Punch-clock enemies? Only at each other's throats when the sun goes down and the crazies come out?"
"If that," Max said, "Remember, I haven't done anything worth chasing me over in a while. You said it yourself."
-Nothing worth chasing him that she or anyone else who cared knew of. That Arkham Asylum thing would stay buried for as long as it could. Max wasn't sure what the statute of limitations were for being an accessory in breaking into such a facility, but he didn't want to test it by letting more people than Rose and her crazy family know he'd worked with her on it.
As the two went their separate ways, Max stopped to pat himself down and check his clothes. Barbara noticed before she could get very far, "What are you doing?"
"Last time you were in reaching distance of me when we were both on the job, you put a bug on me," Max explained, continuing to see to himself, "...Gonna have to watch out for you."
His last remark left Barbara standing in his wake, her mouth wide open, "W-Watch out for me?" The cheek of him. He was the criminal!
XxX
Max usually went to Selina with most things he deemed important, because she was older than him and smarter than him. However, there were certain things that he knew better than to bring up. The Arkham Asylum incident was one of these things, and the job to break into the Batcave would be another.
He had to play these things close to the chest, and keep from spilling any details whatsoever, and hope that it didn't come up through other means, because Selina would nose around. She definitely did with other things.
"I think you need more friends your age."
Having finished the process of Max posted himself on his elbows, entertaining himself by listening. He gave her a humored look, "No, really? Tell me more," He said, his tone dripping with sarcastic curiosity, "Where will I find these so-called friends?"
At that, his mentor found herself stumped, "I don't know," Selina admitted, "But I'm serious, Maxie. It's really not healthy that the only people you spend time with are me and Q here."
She was trying to steer him in a healthy direction. He knew she thought his thing with Rose had been unhealthy, and it was hard to argue, even if he'd been comfortable with it. Damn it, he still missed her. Why'd he have to go and think about that?
As though summoned by the proverbial raincloud over his head, Q popped up and threw an arm around Selina, "I just so happen to think we're great company!" She chirped brightly, bringing Max's mood right back up.
"You are great company," Max agreed, pointing at his boss/mentor, "I don't know what Selina's going on about."
"You shut up," Selina demanded of Max, before removing Q's arm from around her, "And you, quit encouraging him."
Q proceeded to whine, "But I don't want him to be like all those other stupid, boring brats," She said, her lower lip jutting out in a pout, "I like Junior the way he is."
Max shrugged, jerking his thumb at himself, "What's not to like? I'm tremendous."
"You are tremendous," Q agreed, echoing Max's earlier support.
"Are you two done?" Selina deadpanned, not amused by the mutual love-fest at her expense.
Max shot her a cheeky grin, "Is my shift over yet?"
Selina glared at him before feigning a sigh of disappointment, "And here I was going to give you some important news," She said cryptically to tease him.
Max scowled slightly before deciding to try and figure it out, "I'm getting a raise?"
"No."
"Q's moving into your place?"
That got a hopeful look from the aforementioned woman, one that Selina quickly shot down, "Hell no."
"Bruce Wayne okay-ed that hero grant?"
"No," At that, Selina paused from her slew of automatic answers to give a little more detail, "Well, not yet, anyway. I think you have to make another appearance for some new charity foundation, or something where you'll get the official check," She rolled her eyes when Max pumped his fist victoriously. As if he needed the money these days.
Q smacked Selina on the arm to get her to end the guessing game, "What's the news then, girl? We're both waitin' with bated breath here!"
Selina huffed at the incognito criminal before sauntering over to her young charge, "Maxie... what are you doing this summer?"
"A depressingly low amount, probably," He grumbled in response. They had already been over the fact that he didn't have friends. What could he actually do? Max then looked up from the bar counter to find Selina gifting him with a beatific smile.
"Not necessarily," She started cryptically, "How would you like to come with me on a little trip this summer?"
Max loved Selina, but he hadn't thought there would have been anything she could have told him that would have gotten him to want to hug her. At that moment, he fought the instinctual urge to jump the bar and wrap her up, "You're telling me I get to go on vacation with you and leave this crapsack city? Awesome!"
Selina laughed at his enthusiasm. She hadn't seen him so excited about something in a while, "Not so much a vacation, but yes. I feel like it's time you expand your horizons. What's the farthest you've ever gone from Gotham?"
"Uh... I was in Colorado for, like, a few hours one time," It was only after he'd answered that Max realized how sad it really was, "Man, that sucks."
Q walked over and gave him a pat on the head, "Better than me. Travelin'. Ick. No thanks."
Selina rested a hand underneath her chin, deciding that this was the right course of action, "Oh, yes. We definitely need to get you out of here for a little while," Time away from Gotham City and its various insanities could only be a good thing for Max. Besides, Selina could use the company... and the backup, "I can let Q watch the club if she's still around, or just close until we get back."
When he heard that Q would be saddled with the upkeep of the Tin Roof Club for weeks, it made him feel a bit bad – something that she picked up on, "Aww, don't look so guilty, Junior. I'm stayin' right upstairs anyway. And if Selina thinks I'm gonna have this place runnin' as much as she does, she ain't payin' attention to who she signed on."
Max wondered how Q could literally say she was going to slack off without getting fired, when he realized that he had said far worse and been equally lazy most of the time. Granted, he wasn't a conventional employee. Q wasn't either, but he didn't know that.
Selina was more dismissive to Q's talk than even Max thought she'd be, "As long as you don't burn the place down or bring some other kind of trouble, I don't care what you do."
XxX
(Later That Night – South Gotham City – Tricomber Island)
Arriving at home after his usual time working and hanging around Selina's club, Max could feel that something was off, but nothing that he could necessarily find until he walked inside of his house and found himself with a guest. An uninvited guest.
To walk into your kitchen and find Batman looming in the dark by your refrigerator was quite the startling experience.
Max froze and flipped on the lights, just to make sure he wasn't mistaken. When the lights came on, he took a step back. His hand moved up to magnetically swing the door into Batman's face, but the sound of the door opening gave him enough warning to lift his arm and block it.
The entire time, Batman never took his eyes off of Max, "Don't do that," He warned plainly.
It would have been hard to say that Max hadn't thought of this as a possibility. Then again, he'd always figured that he was beneath Batman's time. They had hardly interacted, despite Max being a criminal for the better part of a year and having faced his underlings.
"Get out of my house," Max demanded with a hitch in his tone, "I don't care who you are. Just because you know who I am doesn't mean you can do whatever you want."
Even if Batman had slapped Max around in the past, if a conflict was brewing, he would fight back. He'd fight back as angrily and as bitterly as he could. Even outside of the suit, he still had access to enough of his power to make anyone pay for thinking he would lie down. Batman would receive his very best shot if that was what it would come to.
He owed him one anyway.
Batman moved away from the refrigerator, noticing that Max didn't take another step back, despite looking like a cornered animal, "Sit down, Max."
"No, I think I'll stand," Max replied warily, "Waaaaay away from you," He couldn't beat him up if he couldn't touch him. But Max couldn't feel any metal on Batman's person. Smart.
Batman realized that he wasn't going to get Max to calm down any more than he already had, and to be fair, having him intimidated by him helped, "Why did you break into the Batcave?"
Even if he was afraid of Batman, Max wasn't going to simper or beg in front of him, "Because Red Hood paid me lots of money. And because you pissed me off," He said. Screwing him over with Anarky, and then continuing to snoop and finding out who he was. That was two strikes against him, "I know that doesn't mean anything to you and yours, but it's a good enough reason for me."
He wasn't going to get an apology. He didn't want one either. He'd already gotten his eye-for-an-eye back. If Batman came there expecting remorse, he would be waiting for quite some time. In fact, the sheer fact that he was even there started setting Max off.
Fists clenched at his sides, sparks began to jump from his hands. Batman kept a close eye on him, "What's your problem? I hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, at the school I did your job," He added with a sneer, "And you just kept on digging and picking. You had to find out who I was, and when you did, you spread it around to your kids!"
Batman looked down at Max as though he were ignoring the obvious, "I'm not going to keep information from Robin and Batgirl that could help them work better. You're an unstable element in my city, Null. You know full well how dangerous you can be."
Batman wasn't wrong. Max knew that. After all, Lex Luthor's Kryptonite towers hadn't become a reality on their own. He was the person that had facilitated that. The current crime wave Gotham was dealing with was because he had gotten Rose into Arkham Asylum, and things had gone wrong.
That wasn't what stuck with him though.
"Your city?" Max said, before repeating himself incredulously, "Your city? Like you're the only person that was born here? Were you even born here? Should that even matter?" He said, before shaking his head to clear his thoughts. He was getting away from his point, "Listen, I think I hate Gotham City. I mean, I wake up, and I walk outside and look around, and I get angry for a split-second that I'm here."
Batman said something that almost made Max freeze in place, "You have the means to leave. If you hate this place, why don't you go somewhere that doesn't make you miserable?"
Max licked his lips in thought. He had considered this before, and decided against it. Only recently had he come to terms as why, "Because as much as I hate this place, it's mine. It's as much mine as it is yours. And I don't do well with giving up things that I think are mine."
He didn't have any power or influence in Gotham City. He was just a podunk thief. But the city was his playground. It was a place to prove that he mattered. The city and its various hurdles tried to trip him up, and it failed. At this point it was a challenge. If he left for good, he would lose.
"All you've known is Gotham City, haven't you?"
Max straightened his back at potentially being called out, "Well, I've been other places before," He started, before realizing that trying to impress Batman was a losing battle, "Yeah... no. Not really. This place is basically all I've seen."
Batman walked around the room, with Max keeping a close eye on him, "I don't understand you. I never have. But then again, I'm not some expert on teenagers," Max held back a quip that he had enough of them running around to be one, "There's something in you. Massive potential."
Feeling like he'd heard where this was going before, Max left the kitchen and passed through the foyer, dropping his house keys in a bowl by the door, "Supergirl says I could be a great hero. No thanks. I hope this isn't a recruitment drive."
Batman shot that angle down, "I wouldn't ask anyone else to ever do this. Especially here. I'm just saying, is stealing really the most you hope for? Breaking and entering for money, for possessions? Someone as young as you, you could point that towards anything."
Max set his hand against the banister leading upstairs before turning to face the Dark Knight, "What's this for?"
"Just thinking you should probably expand your horizons."
Funny. He'd had another conversation about that only a few hours before, "I plan to work on that," He said with a smirk.
"See that you do."
The air between them was tense and awkward. Batman wasn't a great conversationalist with people he tolerated, and Max was abrasive at the best of times. It wasn't a combination that made for a cordial mix, "So, did you come all this way to grill me and tell me I suck? Did you come to bust me for something? Did you come to send a message? To scare me into keeping Barb's secret and tell me to keep my nose clean?" After a moment, Max blinked, realizing he'd left someone out, "...I'd mention Robin, but I don't know who that guy is during the day, so..."
"I don't think anyone has to worry about that. You aren't the type," Batman said, before changing gears, "...The fact that you keep living this way though... what is your life worth to you, Max?"
His life was collateral for a more fulfilling existence. How that was to be done could vary, depending on what he felt. Of course, most teenagers lacked the introspective abilities to know these things off the top of their head. Max was no different in that regard.
"I don't know," He shrugged, "I haven't found anything worth selling it for yet."
Batman figured that as an answer, that would suffice – for the time being, "Well, in any case, I was just passing through," Max let out a skeptical snort. Passing through. Right, "I'll be watching you," He said as he headed for the back door, stopping for a moment to give one last jab, "...Keep your nose clean."
Max didn't bother watching him leave. Heroes sure loved their dramatic exits. As long as Batman locked up on the way out, he didn't care, "Yeah, whatever. Stay away from my house."
"Stay away from my cave," Batman replied. And that was that.
Max started to head upstairs to go to bed when a stray thought hit him, "What did he have time to do before I got here?" He wondered. It was a question that sent him back down, for his evening was not quite over just yet, "...Great. Now I've got to spend all night sweeping this place for bugs."
He'd be up until he had to get ready for school in the morning, trying to go over his house with a fine-toothed comb, just to be safe.
"Goddamn Bat People."
XxX
Batman may have been the oddest interaction Max had that week, but it wasn't the last weird one he experienced.
Max waited a week and a half to suit up as Null again, both to try and let any lingering heat behind the Batcave break-in die down, and to give himself time to process his thoughts without overt risk to his life. Eventually though, the call was too strong and he took to the streets, as he was wont to do.
His first thought for how to spend the evening was to try and scout organized crime safehouses to try and hit, but that came with its own dangers. The Red Hood had been extremely active, taking out any dealer on the street that wouldn't play ball. He had set rules.
Criminals couldn't deal drugs to kids. They couldn't hurt regular people. They couldn't do any damage to regular people, really. They had to kick up a large percentage of their profits to him. If any of those parameters were broken, it was scorched earth for the contingent foolish enough to do so. Red Hood had leveled entire buildings taking down these people.
And that very same individual tried to flag Null down, riding on the streets on his motorcycle underneath Null's Gravboard, 'Huh, the guy's pretty good to keep up with this thing,' Null thought to himself.
In the end, he decided to descend. If Red Hood really wanted him on the ground, he could probably force him down... with considerable violence.
To Null's surprise, when he landed, Red Hood was cordial. Just as cordial as he was when they'd last met, "Hey there, kid."
Null sat down on his board, his feet swinging as it floated off of the ground, "Hey. How'd you find me?"
Red Hood hopped off of his motorcycle and leaned against it, "You tend to be seen around the East End a lot, even if you spread out more often to do your thieving. Just waited around to catch up with you. Not judging though. It's a good place to hunt. Lots of juicy targets in Crime Alley."
Null tilted his head curiously, "Who sends reports on my thieving? I steal from killers and drug pushers. Who are they telling about it?"
"They talk amongst themselves," Red Hood said before holding up a bag of fast food, "You hungry? Here," He threw it over to Null, who caught it, "Figured it'd be bad manners not to give you something for you time."
Somehow, manners didn't seem to fit with Red Hood, which put Null on edge. He was admittedly hungry, but who was to say that the food wasn't poisoned? He could skip eating until breakfast, as long as it didn't end with him foaming at the mouth on the roof of the red light district.
Red Hood could clearly see his apprehension, "Relax, kid. If I wanted to kill you, I'd have started in on you by the time you saw me," He said, "I've been looking for you for a while."
Null carefully cracked open the bag. It wasn't heavy enough to have an explosive in it, nor did he sense one, but it never hurt to be cautious, "Why? You paid me. I did the thing. I figured that was where this would end."
"After it was all over, I wanted to tell you a job well done."
"Huh..." Null pulled a canteen from his satchel for a sip, "...Didn't think you were that sentimental."
Sentiment had little to do with it. After a frosty first impression, Red Hood looked more into what Null did. Aside from dodgy early days where he took what he could, he was growing into something of a thorn in the side of Gotham City's criminal structure.
"You helped me send a message to someone I needed to send it to," Red Hood said, "And I guess, in your own way, you're putting your own dents in the power structure around here?"
Null was a crook that didn't play well with the real baddies, and was talented enough to cause them fits by swiping their stuff. He didn't have a pattern, he didn't target anyone based on affiliation, and he did it randomly enough that it kept them looking the wrong way for any enterprising vigilante who wished to exploit such an advantage.
Red Hood was one such vigilante. He recognized what Null did in town. And while Null was still a bit green to the ways of criminals and heroes, he'd shown to have good enough instincts to survive thus far. Also, he didn't play by the same rules as others who were 'properly' broken in to the lifestyle.
Null finished swallowing a bite of his fast food gift before saying anything else, "How do you mean? I know I'm ripping off their money, but..."
"You steal more than money," Red Hood said, "You take whatever you think you can fence, including weapons. You get them out of Gotham City too, which I can appreciate."
What could he say? After the situation with Anarky, Null had maintained a channel with the Calculator, and he had good contacts. If anyone used the weapons he stole back in Gotham City, they'd be painting a target on their own backs. It was for the best interests of whoever took them off his hands to stay far away when they got the return on their investment. Gang wars had been started over less.
Null held his hands up defensively, "I don't touch the drugs, if that's what this is about. I hear what you get up to with people who do that around here," If he didn't kill them, they had to kick some cash to him to buy their own lives. That aside, if he had learned anything from his time on the streets, it was that dealing in narcotics made everything murkier and more complicated.
Red Hood shook his head, "I was wrong. You're actually good for me. Their weapons, their money. That's their muscle. That's their power," He said, "You take it from them. They panic, scramble to make up for their losses. That makes it so much easier to just go in and-," He stopped and made a popping noise with his mouth, making a gun motion with his hand for emphasis, "All I have to do is keep my ear to the ground and listen in for something you've done."
It was rare when someone actually showed any kind of gratitude to Null for something he'd done, especially stealing. Supergirl thanked him, but she was a sweetheart, "Oh. You're welcome, I guess. But I'm just doing my thing. And you paid me for the only thing you might have to thank me for."
"I don't think my payment is enough. I could give you something else, you know," "You did the job without asking any questions, but aren't you curious? Don't you want to know what this is all about?"
Absolutely not, and Null let him know as much, "Not if it gets me into unnecessary shit," Other peoples' business was other peoples' business. As long as it didn't affect him, it was best to steer clear of it.
"You sure?" Red Hood asked, his tone colored with amusement, "It might give you some leverage in the future with you-know-who."
You-know-who didn't give a rat's ass about him, "Batman usually ignores me, dude," It was often Batgirl or Robin who busied themselves with looking into his cases, "Unless I start doing really dumb shit, I don't think I'll ever be worth Batman's time until he catches me in passing."
Not unless things got really slow in Gotham City, which they definitely weren't.
Red Hood wagged his finger, as if to chide Null for being incorrect, "He's not ignoring you because you're not worth his time. The stuff you've pulled off until this point proves that. He tries to ignore you because you remind him of me."
Null thought back to all of the ruthless killing he saw Red Hood do. They also didn't look or act anything alike, "Uh..."
"Not the me from now," Red Hood said after he saw his skepticism, "Did you know, Batman found me on the streets, stealing? Granted, I never got the chance to take it to the next level the way you have, but I had my talents," He reminisced with a chuckle, "He saw them. I guess he decided he'd scoop me up before I became a real criminal; decided he'd 'save' me, make something out of the street punk."
Null began to put pieces together, pieces he'd obtained from what he already knew and what he'd seen in the Batcave, "That Robin suit was yours," He said, "You used to be Robin."
Red Hood confirmed as much, "The second one. Nightwing was the first," Red Hood pushed himself away from his motorcycle and walked closer to Null, "The Batman knows who you are. Would you like to finish evening up the score on that?"
"...What?"
"I can tell you who Batman is," Red Hood dangled the offer like a carrot, "That way he can't hold your identity against you."
It was a tempting prospect, but it felt like such a thing wouldn't without cost, "Why?"
Red Hood stopped walking and took a moment to size Null up, something he seemed to do a lot, "...You're afraid right now."
Null scoffed and threw the empty fast food bag aside, "I'm not afraid of you."
"Maybe wary is a better word?" Red Hood rephrased, keeping his confrontational attitude, "You're wary of me, and you're wary of Batman. Even with your powers, I'd bet there's a lot of people you'd choose to steer clear of. But you still do this. You still dress up in your little costume and go out at night, like the city's your playground."
"Yeah, I'm wary of you. You kill criminals. I am a criminal. I don't know anything about you. And you're smart." Smart enough to approach him without any metal on his person to manipulate, "Plus, you wouldn't tell me who Batman is anyway."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Because you have your own deal with him, and you want to decide it yourself," Null deadpanned. Did Red Hood think he was dumb, or just forgetful? "Come on, man. You basically said it yourself. That's why you had me send a message instead of planting a bomb or sabotaging the whole cave."
"You can do that?"
"I dunno. Probably," Null was a walking magnet and electricity generator. It probably wouldn't have been very difficult to do, "My point still stands though. And like I said, whatever your deal is, it doesn't have anything to do with me. Thanks for dinner," He said, standing up on his Gravboard as it started to float off.
Red Hood just gave a wave and let Null leave to do who knew what.
He took off his helmet as he stared and watched the young man disappear into the concrete jungle that was Gotham City.
"Nah."
Admittedly, he liked Null. But he wasn't the type that Jason needed to team with if he wanted a better chance at sweeping Gotham City clean of the trash terrorizing people and ruining lives. Jason's methods didn't seem to bother Null that much, but that didn't mean he'd be up for getting that kind of blood on his hands.
That didn't mean they couldn't help each other though. Perhaps Null would attract some trouble that would require the kind of assistance that a well-placed bullet or explosive could provide? In return, there was no end to the kind of trouble Null could stir up, that is, if Jason had something he wanted enough to stick his neck out.
Oh well. They would come across each other again somewhere down the line.
XxX
(Elsewhere in Gotham City – Iceberg Lounge)
Plans backfired.
The streets were too hot, in the Penguin's opinion. Between the rampages Red Hood had been going on, rubbing out every criminal element that he could target, and the influx of crazies from Arkham Asylum, happenings in the city were eating into his profits.
All he could do was kick back in the Iceberg Lounge and wait for the heat to die down. Of course, that also came with its own risks. The Iceberg Lounge was the premier place for anyone who was anyone in Gotham City who wanted to unwind and have a good time. That included the criminals. It was only a matter of time before more trouble came to his doorstep than his muscle was prepared to deal with, if it hadn't happened already.
'I hired Ravager to cause some chaos by letting out some of the nutcases in Arkham, not all of them!' He thought to himself irritably, '...Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get out of town for a while?'
But not right then, because he couldn't. No, there was a special guest in the Iceberg Lounge that evening. And this self-proclaimed life of the party would have no qualms with massacring as many people as his heart desired. Anything for a laugh after all.
"Oh, don't look so droll, Pengy," That voice made him wince.
Sitting across from his desk, feet in wingtip shoes kicked up on the wood, a man grinned, sick and yellow. Skin bleached solid white, red and yellow maniacal eyes, green hair slicked back in a facade of a well put-together style. The garish purple suit haunted the nightmares of hundreds, if not thousands, of people.
His true name was lost the the annals of existence. But the name that had since become his was one that would strike terror for decades, even after his death. The Joker.
"Really though. I don't know what's more amazing," He said while patting down his clothes, "That you actually have clothes aside from those chimpanzee tuxedos you wear, or that you have anything that can fit anyone taller than three feet high."
Penguin took the jab and left well enough alone, "The breakout was weeks ago. Why are you just now showing your face? I'd have thought you'd have been chomping at the bit with whatever you've been cooking up in that cell of yours."
Joker leaned back dangerously far in his chair, to the point where his head was directly upside-down, "Oh, I've just been a'waitin' and a'watchin'," He replied gleefully.
Waiting and watching with nothing. No money, no weapons, not even a decent pair of clothes, "Why now?"
"I dunno. Just seemed like a convenient time to pop my head out of the ground. Like Groundhog Day. I love Groundhog Day. You never know if that little scamp Punxsutawney Phil will see his shadow."
"He always sees his shadow. Every. Single. Time," Penguin said, vein in his head throbbing as he grit his teeth, "That's how shadows work."
If he was going to deal with this all night, he needed someone to bring him a drink from the bar. Badly.
"Besides-!" Joker continued, completely ignoring the annoyed Penguin, "-It's been far too long since I've allowed my city to bask in my presence, don't you think? Have to make sure no one's forgotten about yours truly!" He had so many ways to get their attention again. Things were livening up in Gotham City, and he had to be the center of attention.
And when he had the chance, he had to find something that belonged to him. Something he'd misplaced in all of the hullabaloo of the Arkham Asylum breakout.
Honestly, did Harley expect Joker to do his own gofer work? How inconsiderate of her. He'd have to make sure she knew better when he found her again. It was nothing a little 'tough love' couldn't fix.