Chapter 29: TGIF
It was Friday night, and the weekend couldn't have come soon enough for Max. Barbara had been crawling up his backside all week. Her finding out that he was Null led to her keeping a closer eye on him… in class. It wasn't like he was going to slip out and go on a spree of thievery during school. He had a feeling that if someone started going through lockers and stealing everyone's worthless things, he'd be her primary suspect.
After school let out, he tried to just forget about it and move on with his day, but found that he couldn't. Mostly because he felt that when the sun went down, she or Robin (probably both at some point) would drop by for a drive-through of his neighborhood to make sure he was at home and not pulling any Null shenanigans.
…He hadn't planned on it, but the thought that they would think that he might have, and would check up on him to make sure that he didn't, left him steaming. And this was all speculation! None of these things were happening, or were guaranteed to happen! He was just being paranoid.
Max kept that attitude all the way to Selina's bar, where he found himself put to work before it was time to open.
"This is bullshit," Max muttered to himself as he finished wiping down the last of the tables, "I'm the longest-tenured employee here. Why am I doing the bitch work?"
Selina leaned back on the bar, 'supervising' while doing her nails. She was dressed in a slinky red dress, set to go out to some high-class shindig that night. She'd only stopped in to make sure everything was running smoothly when she came across Max, "You showed up today when I didn't have you scheduled."
Max's mouth fell open. That was an excuse to make him work, "I was just stopping by! Stopping by to say hi! Because-."
Selina nodded to Max's reply, "-Because you were bored and have nothing to do. And now, you can leave when you're done with a boost to your paycheck," She said, "Cut limes, and you're finished."
"Can I go to the party?" Max asked hopefully, because he had absolutely nothing else to do that night. Why not go and see if he could meet a nice rich girl his age and convince her to be his sugar mama?
Selina looked him up and down before denying him, "Absolutely not. You have no home training. You'll get me kicked out before I can even find a fat, juicy target to burgle."
The summer trip she had planned for the two of them was meant to teach Max the tricks of the trade to schmooze with the high class… so that he could eventually rob them blind. It wasn't the kind of thing that one could receive a crash-course in and be effective. She would show him the ropes later, in a more controlled situation.
He would do his best if he had to in such a situation, but without schooling, he was still far too rough-and-tumble to be anything better than a distraction in a delicate public situation.
Max scoffed, turning his nose up at the idea of not being posh enough for a rich people gathering, "Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odor. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about what's to be done with this Maximillian Gabriel?'" He stood on the nearest chair and continued his diatribe, "I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles!"
Selina was wholly unimpressed with Max's bombastic riff. Mostly because it was stolen, "Are you done?"
Max's body relaxed from its previous proud posture, as he slowly climbed down off of the chair, "…Yeah, I think I'm done."
"Then cut limes," Selina gently ordered, sliding a large bowl of the green citrus fruits in front of him at the bar. She watched for a moment as Max grumbled and went about his task, "Where's Q? She is the one who should be here preparing to open, since you're never guaranteed to be here."
"I dunno," Max said, between complaining about the low-skill work Selina had heaped onto him, "I assume she's still upstairs asleep, or something. Not like I'm allowed to go up there."
Selina gave Max a patronizing smile, "Why wouldn't you be allowed? You work here. You're allowed to go anywhere you damn well please."
"Uh, because, woman's room and privacy?" Max said without looking up, as though the answer were obvious, "I'm not an animal. I do have some decorum."
Selina laughed to herself and pinched Max's cheek, ignoring his growl as he continued to hack away at the limes, "I'll check on her, then I'll go. I'll make sure she comes down to relieve you when she's ready."
The Tin Roof Club had been renovated from a duplex, and really only the bottom floor had seen changes. That left the upstairs mostly the way that it had been before Selina had purchased the property. Selina used one room upstairs for an office, and kept the door locked, isolating the bar and that one room from the rest of the building. For Max to have normally have access to the rest of the upstairs, he would have to go back outside and use the stairs. Too much trouble for his lazy behind to go through in order to look at an empty duplex that he'd already seen when he first started working there.
Selina, having possession of the proper key, went through the office. When she reached the room that Q had been using as hers, she stopped cold.
Q wasn't sick or sleeping. She was quite awake. In fact, Selina found Q with company; a woman with green skin and long, luxurious red hair. She lacked conventional clothing. Instead, her skimpy one-piece outfit was made entirely of leaves and foliage strategically covered the sensitive bits on her body.
The beautiful, deadly, notorious eco-terrorist that marked Gotham City as her primary target – Poison Ivy. Selina was less than pleased to see her.
"Ivy?" She said, almost in disbelief, "Harley, what the fuck!?"
Whether intentionally or otherwise, 'Q' ignored Selina's negative reaction, "Red came to see me, Kitty-Cat! Isn't that great?"
Selina grit her teeth and shook her head, "No! No, it isn't great! You are supposed to be hiding! Laying low!" She gestured to Poison Ivy bombastically, "This is not laying low!"
Poison Ivy crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at her less than stellar reception, "So good to see you too, Selina."
"Oh, sure it is," Selina said, not trying to hide her enmity in the least, "Why are you here?"
Vines wrapped around her arm grew out to touch and tickle Harley, "I've been stopping by every so often for the last few weeks, just to keep an eye on her," She looked at a clock on the wall and frowned, "I'm normally gone before you ever show up. I just lost track of the time."
The last few weeks. Harley had been hiding this for the last few weeks. Selina slowly turned to Harley, who knew already that she was in trouble, "Hey, Red found me. It's not like I invited her the first time."
"The first time," Selina repeated, deadpanning.
Harley shamelessly shrugged, "I mean, now that she knows I'm here... why not have her come back to visit?"
Well, it wasn't like Ivy was doing anything. She was just chatting and hanging out. Not really anything that would bring down heat, "Okay... okay. Fine. Whatever," Selina eventually conceded before pointing at Ivy sternly, "But the second you launch one of your little plans to try and wipe out Gotham City, you can't come back here. Not even if Batman kicks your ass and you have to hide somewhere."
Ivy raised a delicate red eyebrow in challenge, "And how exactly would you stop me if I decided to?" A tug on a vine from Harley got her to look over at the blonde woman and her trembling lower lip, "Oh, alright. I promise, I won't use your bar as a backup hideout."
Selina would have preferred that Ivy swore off the Gotham City extinction-level plots, but she would take what she could get. Mostly, because she couldn't really fight Ivy on the spot. Even with all of her gear, she would still stray away from conflict with the plant queen.
It was at that moment that the universe decided to complicate matters.
Max's voice was heard before his footsteps were, and it was close, "Hey, Selina, I finished getting ready to open. Is Q sick or some-," Before anyone could try to stop him or hide anyone, he stepped past the doorway and stopped, "…I'll just chill out behind the bar and come back up here later. After this thing that I'm definitely not seeing is over."
As easy as it was to stumble upon Poison Ivy, it wasn't as easy to leave. Vines of flowers grew down behind Max from a crack in the ceiling. Knowing what he did about the woman, he didn't want to be anywhere near any plants around her and reluctantly moved into the room.
Ivy watched Max with disdain as he entered, "And who do we have here?" She asked before beckoning with a finger crooked his way, "Come to me, boy."
Despite the danger senses going off in his head, for some reason Max felt himself compelled to listen. The only thing that stopped him was Selina literally wrapping her arms around his neck to keep him out of Ivy's reach, "Leave him alone. He knows I steal, and it's never been an issue. He's not going to say he's seen you."
Harley nodded furiously in agreement, even if she didn't know how complicit Max was to Selina's criminal escapades. Anything to keep Ivy from doing something drastic to him just to make things easier for herself, "Listen to Kitty-Cat, Red. Junior's a good egg."
Having regained his senses, Max quickly pleaded his own case, "Code of silence. I didn't see anything, I didn't hear anything. None of this is happening right now. I'm not even supposed to be here tonight."
Harley had the good grace to look apologetic, "Sorry about that, Junior. Missed my wake-up call."
Max couldn't stay mad at someone who was always so sweet to him, "I'm cool with it, Q, just as long as I don't die tonight," He turned his head to the sky and shouted, "God, I hate this city!"
Stupid Gotham City, with its many harms and perils. A guy couldn't even tend to his legal part-time job without a threat to his life taking place.
At hearing how Max referred to Harley, Ivy gave her friend an amused look, "He doesn't know who you are? I thought you said criminal matters weren't an issue with him."
Selina sighed, "Fine, if it'll keep you from victimizing my bartender..." She grabbed Max's head and turned it towards the nervous blonde woman in the room, "Max, 'Q' is Harley Quinn."
All three women watched as Max's eyes went wide at that revelation, "Oh."
Harley wrung her hands together fitfully, "That's... not a problem, is it, Junior?" She asked nervously. Max had been friendly to her. Having him be scared of her now because of her previous company would have been a nasty blow to endure.
Max stood in thought before giving his answer, "I mean, is Joker about to stand outside of the window holding up a boom box for you?" He trailed off, "...That will then explode when he throws it into the bar?"
Selina and Ivy both blinked before glancing at each other, both thinking the same thing about how oddly specific that scenario was.
"Uh, no," Harley only said that because the Joker didn't know where she was. If he did, she wouldn't have put that out of the realm of possibility.
"Then no," Max droned dully before nudging Selina, "Can I go home now?"
Selina shot Ivy a look. The latter rolled her eyes and silently drew back the dangerous flowers blocking the doorway so that Max could leave. Selina couldn't shoo him away fast enough, "I'll call you later."
Max hustled out of there as fast as his legs would take him. He was completely over whatever was going on there.
A great way to start the weekend.
XxX
(Elsewhere in Gotham City)
Friday night. What a perfect time to step out on the town. All a man was missing was his number one gal on his arm. But that would change soon enough.
The Joker whistled to the jaunty tune playing over the P.A. system of a neighborhood hardware store. He danced, feet scuffing off of the floor while pushing a cart full of various tools (both powered and manual), and chemicals.
The Penguin had a few weapons to spare to keep him from feeling naked when he'd finally decided to leave the Iceberg Lounge. Those were fine for busy work, but in order for him to get creative, or outfit himself with the stuff he really liked, he needed to grab some supplies and make it himself.
Normally, getting his goodies was woman's work; one woman's in particular. Since she was missing for the time being, however, that left it up to the Joker himself to go shopping. Fair enough. There was a certain glow that came with the effort of doing something for one's self once in a while.
Also, it was a good chance to get the people reacquainted with their beloved superstar. Oh, the store's staff had all been so excited to see him. When he'd walked in, there had been so much screaming and running. He'd had to remind them that if they wanted autographs, they had to run toward him, not away from him.
Oh, he'd stopped them easily enough and gave them the time of their lives. After all, the Joker could always spare a moment to put a smile on faces. But he had to get going. The night was young, after all.
"Don't mind me, folks," The Joker remarked, walking past his motionless victims on the floor. Their faces were frozen in horrified laughter – a telltale symptom of his wonderful Joker Venom, "…Just picking up a few things for my honey."
XxX
(South Gotham City – Tricomber Island – Max's Townhouse)
"Fuck!" Max cursed in complaint, watching his character go down dead on the screen in front of him.
What a way to spend a Friday night; sitting in front of a 60-inch TV all by oneself in a townhouse, playing a stupid battle royal game on Playstation. He was such a loser.
"What? What's the matter? Did something happen?"
Oh, and chatting on the phone with Supergirl. Less loserly. However, it did nothing to improve his chances of winning with his attention split, "No. I just lost," He assured her, "Anyway, you know who I am now. Is it the new hot piece of gossip amongst the capes, or am I too small potatoes for that?"
"It's out there, but other than a few heroes who've dealt with you, not many seem to care," Good for Max. But chances were, the intel was in some kind of database that heroes could get access to with a few calls. If he stepped on the wrong cape's toes, they would be all up in his business, "So, uh, I mean, I know your name now. Max. I like that name," She said awkwardly, tiptoeing her way to the big question of the night, "Are you mad?"
At her, specifically, for knowing who he was now. The details were just out there. He was a noted criminal, whether or not his pardon was still intact. When Batman found out who he was, he released it to other heroes in case something else ever happened again, which was how Supergirl stumbled across it.
She hadn't talked to Barbara or Tim about it. Tim was more her cousin's good friend than hers, and what little details came with Max being Null revealed that Barbara had been closer to the boy underneath the hood than anyone would have figured without being told. Besides, if she wanted to talk about it, she had Null's number to get it from him directly.
"Kinda," Max admitted, though most of his ill will was more towards Batman than anyone else, even if Barbara's scrutiny had been annoying in school, "Nothing I can do about it now. I guess I have to be a little less cavalier about the things that I do."
"You can always join the good guys," Kara floated his way, a tantalizing lift to her voice, "Offer's still on the table."
Max let out a snort of laughter, his eyes affixed to what he was doing on the TV, "Oh yeah, I'll just fly my ass to San Francisco and knock right on the Teen Titans' front door. I'm sure they'd love to have me," In a containment cell, maybe. Especially if Robin had anything to say about it, with a few good smacks to go along with it.
Kara seemed a bit hesitant to go forward with what she wanted to say, but did so anyway, "I mean... you could always work with me. I'm just a hop, skip, and a jump away in Metropolis. You could always swing by and lend a hand here if you're in the mood."
No. No hero stuff. Max had no desire to save any of the ungrateful population. That wouldn't stop him from teasing her about it, though, "Kara, if you wanted to go out with me, you didn't have to disguise it as a team-up."
The poor Kryptonian girl on the other end of the line started having a meltdown, "I mean, I was gonna-! I didn't know how to-! I-I-I just thought it would be weird if-!"
Max almost dropped the controller in his hand and the phone from his shoulder in surprise, "Wait, you do want to go out with me?" He had been joking!
"I... yes," Kara admitted begrudgingly, "Is that weird? It's weird, right?"
"A bit, seeing as how I'm a supervillain."
"You're a thief, not a supervillain."
"Still a criminal," Max muttered before setting his controller aside to get up and walk around his home, "If you really want to go out with me, I'm cool with it. Not sure how it'll work though, but I'll think of something, I guess."
Not being turned down emboldened Kara, "If you're worried about identities, don't be. You can go as yourself. I have a disguise."
Max laughed to himself, wondering what kind of disguise could hide the strongest girl in the world. It was worth ferrying himself to Metropolis just to see it in-person, "If you're that confident, let's do it. We can-," He stopped when he got a notification of another call coming in, taking the device from his shoulder, he saw that it was a number he hadn't expected to hear from anytime soon, "Hold on, I've gotta take another call."
"Ooh, popular tonight, aren't we?"
Max ignored his friend's teasing, "Give me a minute," He requested of her before switching over to the other line, "Hello?"
"Howdy there, kid."
"Hood," Max said in greeting, "What's up?"
"Look outside."
Max eyed the front windows to his townhouse and crept over to where he could peek out while remaining against the wall, just in case bullets started flying. Outside, he found Red Hood across the street on his motorcycle, "Dude, the Bat People know who I am. If you're outside, they can find you just like that."
Not that it really mattered to him. If Batman and Red Hood started to throw down in the middle of the road, he wasn't getting involved, even if he did like Red Hood more than Batman at the moment. He would either shut the curtains and try to ignore it, or pull up a seat out front and record the whole thing for YouTube. All the same, he would rather not have a superhero donnybrook take place in front of his home. Plus, he dreaded the prospect of Bat-surveillance. Every other day, he swept his house for bugs.
"None of them are around here. Trust me when I say, I'm better at scouting my surroundings than you are," Red Hood replied, amused at Max's paranoia, "Aren't you going to ask me how I know who you are, seeing as how I never asked?"
Max moved in front of the window and shrugged in full sight of the vigilante, "Same way I figure every hero who cares to know does. Fucking Batman."
"I'm not a hero, kid."
Max shut his curtains and laughed at the irony, "Funny. I was just having the same conversation with someone else. What do you want?"
"To talk. Got a minute?"
Well, he had been in the middle of a conversation with a gorgeous superhero who seemed to like him for whatever ungodly reason, but sometimes life happened, "Yeah. Give me a sec. Keep your eyes peeled," He warned before switching back over to the original line, "Kara? I'm gonna have to call you back."
Max hadn't planned on suiting up that night, but he also hadn't planned on meeting a supervillain and discovering that his coworker was another.
XxX
(Meanwhile – East End of Gotham City – Tin Roof Club)
Q grinned as she topped off the mug of frothy beer that had been ordered, "Here ya go, alkie!" She slid the drink down the length of the bar to the waiting patron who gestured a salute in thanks, "You're an anti-American, import-drinkin' ingrate, but ya pay extra for it, so I love ya anyway!"
"So mean," The man receiving the drink responded while some of the others laughed, "When Max is tending bar, he doesn't judge what I drink. He says there's plenty of other things to insult."
Q laughed at the backhanded compliment her co-worker had given the man that he apparently hadn't noticed, "Junior doesn't have a taste in beer because he doesn't drink," Or did he? She wasn't sure. She didn't get to keep eyes on him all the time during work, "...At least, I think he doesn't drink. Selina better not let him drink."
Sitting shotgun for violent crime sprees through the city was one thing, but turning the youth onto underage drinking? While Q normally hated kids, Max was okay. And so, she would protect him from the world and its harms... as much as she could for the handful of hours a night they interacted while working at a seedy bar... unless something distracted her... or it was funnier not to.
In fact, it would probably be entertaining to see Max drunk. How old was he, 16? That was good enough for a few sips, right?
Her work done for the time being, she stood back and sighed contently. Manning the bar in Selina's place for a few hours a night wasn't a bad gig at all. Sure, the place attracted scum for clientele, but she could take care of herself. And at least they were predictable scum. She had a PhD in psychiatry. She could likely tell what they were going to do before they did it. It hadn't been an issue anyway, likely because they knew better than to upset Selina by messing with her workers.
Q slipped away to the back to take some of the used mugs to the back to be washed, smile on her face. She was enjoying herself, which she usually found easy to do. The mood quickly changed when the front door flew open and the last face her or anyone else in the building wanted to see.
She thought she would have a heart attack when the Joker sauntered in. From the way a few of the patrons present reacted, she wasn't the only one. Those poor bastards were out there with him, while she found a place in the back to duck down.
"Evening, gents," The Joker said, wide grin on his face as his sickly yellow eyes darted around the establishment. No one answered him, "Boy, this place seems dead. Could be deader though."
One person let out a whimper as Joker walked right past him and pilfered his beer bottle, emptying it himself before tossing it across the room. Not a blonde hair in sight. This was Catwoman's haunt, so Harley had to be here. Unless she wasn't.
"I swear, if that woman makes me go to more than one place looking for her…" Joker grumbled before his smile widened, "And I wanted this to be a romantic evening. A heartfelt celebration of our reunion," He leaned on the jukebox by the wall in exasperation.
Q sank down to the floor, back against the wall. She started to hyperventilate as the music on the jukebox began to change to some 80s tune, Joker belting out the lyrics as he danced between the bar patrons.
How did he even know she was there? The only people who knew were Ivy and Selina, which in hindsight answered her question. The only two people she realistically could have gone for a place to crash would have been Ivy or Selina. And since Harley hadn't fancied sleeping on a bed made of vines and wiping with leaves for an unknown amount of time… that took one of them out of the equation.
God, she hadn't exactly made it hard to find her. She'd kind of counted on him not bothering, given the way he had normally treated her; at least until he'd gotten bored with whatever plans he'd been cooking up while in Arkham.
"So, I find myself with a little problem," A shiver went down her spine at the sound of his voice, "As much as I love a good game of hide and seek, I'm not feeling particularly patient this evening. If there's a woman here, find her."
Q's hands fumbled with a phone in her hand to try and make a call. First was Selina. No joy. She got the machine. Cursing to herself, she hung up and looked at one of the other few numbers in the contacts.
'What the hell is he gonna do to help?' She thought to herself as her finger hovered over the button to call.
"Oh, Harley-kins, your puddin' has arrived to sweep you off your feet!"
'Eh. Fuck it,' With that thought, she made a call to the only person left that was maybe in a position to do something helpful, "...Heya, Junior."
XxX
(A Little While Earlier – With Null – Tricomber Island)
Red Hood brought them to an abandoned old power substation that had been mostly stripped down and forgotten behind a would-be fortress of current and old buildings on Tricomber Island. A thought passed through Null's head that he could actually use the place as a secondary hideout, one closer to home than his primary one in Gotham's proper mainland.
Conversing with the man was odd. Red Hood seemed... relaxed around him, which went at odds with most of the other things that Null had seen and heard about him. From how he dealt with the criminal element in the city, he expected a more fire and brimstone attitude.
"So," Null said, trying to get the ball rolling on the dangerous talk, "Word on the street is you whupped Batman's ass. High-five!" He offered, lifting his hand to give/receive the gesture. Red Hood didn't move from the metal tower he leaned against, "...No? Okay."
Red Hood chuckled as Null lowered his hand in defeat, "It was more like a draw. And winning a fight with him isn't really what I'm after."
What was he after? Because his motivations were very vague. The guy cut through violent criminals like it was nothing to him, but also had beef with Batman, enough to hire Null just to fuck with him, "Do you want to kill him or something?"
Red Hood didn't bother answering such a straightforward question, "Don't stick your nose in someone else's business. Not unless you want it cut off."
Null didn't need to hear anything else to stay out of it. He had no skin in whatever game the two vigilantes of differing ideologies were playing, "Fair enough. I'm just saying, I don't get it. You don't seem as perma-pissed as I thought you were at first."
"You don't get it, because you're not like me," Red Hood said, "I'm an angry guy. It's what I've been told all my life. It's what lets me focus. You could say, I'm an expert. And in my expert analysis, you don't have it in you. That's why you can't think on it too much."
For some reason, Null felt insulted that Red Hood didn't think he could understand where he was coming from, "I know angry people, Hood," Hell, he'd banged the angriest girl he'd ever met in his life, "I've been angry before."
"Have you stayed up at night thinking about what you would ever do if you got your hands on a particular someone?"
"No."
"Have you ever seen someone's face in someone else, just to give yourself an excuse to tear them apart?"
"Uh... no?"
"Then you've never really been angry. Not really," Red Hood calmly reasoned, as though it were elementary, "Not saying that's a bad thing. Just saying, you and I aren't alike, so don't try to think on my level."
And yet, he still endeavored to do so, "So, you're pissed at Batman like that?"
"No, I'm more disappointed in him," Red Hood said, before chuckling darkly, "Kid, if you ever see the Joker, or even think you might get wind of where he is, be a pal and let me know, would you?"
Null's eyes went wide underneath his hood. Of course, he wanted a piece of one of the biggest fish in a very bad pond, "…Man, you sure don't aim small, do you?" He asked rhetorically, "Alright. If I ever run into the motherfucking Joker, I'll let you know, just as soon as I finish putting as much distance between us as I can. Wasn't he locked up?"
"You living under a rock? The Arkham breakout," Red Hood said, in order to jog Null's memory, "He's one of the ones who made it out and haven't been caught yet."
What he didn't know was that Null's memory needed no jogging, as he had been intimately involved in that hell of a mess. He'd just never stopped to realize the depths of lunatic that could potentially be on the street.
Null had never been so happy to get so many calls in one night, as his real phone went off. He popped a pair of earbuds in and plugged them into the device for a measure of privacy, "Hold on one sec. Excuse me," He said to Red Hood as he did so before answering, "Ahoy-hoy."
"...Heya, Junior."
"Q? What's going on?" He was honestly surprised to hear from her. She rarely called in the past, only to get him to fill in once, or to grab something for her on the way to the bar, "Need some help? Is it busy there? It's never busy."
"Ah, it's jumpin' in here, ya could say."
Null could hear commotion in the background and music playing loudly over the jukebox, "...What's wrong?" He asked, voice serious.
"Ya know that joke ya made 'bout the Joker earlier tonight?"
Red Hood stepped back when a stray bolt of electricity ripped over Null's body, "Get the fuck out of here," The thief said in disbelief.
"He didn't do the boom box deal like ya said. He just came in and put Depeche Mode on the jukebox. 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' played like eight times already."
Null was starting to pick up the commotion in the background as someone singing badly, "Where are you?"
"Hidin'. Kitty-Cat ain't pickin' up, and I can't call the fuzz for obvious reasons," Q said, sounding desperate, despite her attempts to be calm, "Not sure what you can do, or if you'll even try, but..."
She didn't have to finish. He understood. Even if he was a long shot, she had to try someone. It was just fortunate for her that her co-worker was a costumed metahuman. However, in the same vein, it was unfortunate that he was averse to sticking his neck out to fight supervillains.
If he just so happened to bust in like a big hero, he'd risk blowing his cover to Harley Quinn that he was Null. If he went out of his suit and couldn't sneak her out, he'd risk the Joker seeing his actual face, which could not be allowed to happen.
He paced a few steps before turning around and seeing Red Hood waiting on him to finish his phone conversation. Sometimes, life just worked out splendidly.
"How well hidden are you?" Null made sure to ask Q, his eyes locked firmly on the death-dealing vigilante standing a few feet away, "It's very important."
"Puddin'-, err, the Joker got everybody's attention when he busted in. I think I've got a few minutes before he finds me. I think I can run-."
"-No, don't do that," Null said, persuading her otherwise. The last thing he needed was her poking her head out and getting herself nabbed. When they first talked about her bad relationship, before he knew who she was, he never would have imagined that she'd meant the Joker, "Just... stay where you are. I'll figure something out," With that, he hung up and turned to his acquaintance, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, "So, Hood. You said if I ever got wind of the Joker's whereabouts, I should tell you."
It was clear his interest had been piqued, "Yes?"
Null smacked his lips, trying to appear theatrically nonchalant, "What if I told you, he's about to fuck up the bar I work at?" No reaction at first, prompting Null to drop all pretenses, "...Because he's legit about to fuck up the bar I work at."
Red Hood stared at Null silently for a long moment. Null couldn't see the look on his face, but he figured from the way he went ramrod straight at the information he'd been presented with. Null was about to reiterate what he'd just said when Red Hood quickly got on his motorcycle and peeled out, presumably headed for the Tin Roof Club.
Max waited for the sound of the vehicle to get farther away before he spared a moment to give himself a little victory dance, 'Yes! Let Hood take care of that psycho since he wants a piece of him so bad!' He could have him. Null wanted no part of those problems, "Man he's probably gonna bring the hammer down when he gets there."
It was then that Null's brain started to catch up to the potential consequences of his would-be plot/scheme.
If Red Hood caught the Joker in that place, it was a safe bet that everyone inside might die. The Tin Roof Club wasn't a high-society place. Most of the clientele were active criminals. It was where Max got most of his intel of who to rip off and where when he suited up as Null. While Red Hood would probably prioritize the Joker, he wouldn't be shy at ripping the whole place to shreds if it took the Joker out.
...Plus, if Red Hood figured out that Q was Harley Quinn, the odds that he would pop her because of her synonymous association with the Joker himself were extremely high. In fact, it was almost guaranteed. This would defeat the purpose of siccing him on the Joker in the first place.
In his efforts to deal with a problem that needed a quick solution, he may have just created a secondary one.
Null's foot tapped nervously on the ground before he made a decision, "Oh, fuck everything!" He shouted, boosting himself high into the air, allowing his Gravboard to catch him and carry him in the direction of East End and the Tin Roof Club.
He had no idea what he was going to do when he got there, but he also had no idea what he was doing when he decided that it was a good plan to send Red Hood to clean house in the first place. At least there was a theme present.
XxX
(East End of Gotham City – Tin Roof Club)
As Q was frog marched forward by the people she'd been serving drinks to barely fifteen minutes beforehand, she idly realized she probably should have listened to Max when he'd told her to stay where she was. She'd been in a decent hiding place, one that would have lasted her longer than trying to slip away.
She'd been caught after making it out the back by someone posted outside, just in case she managed to get that far. Sure, she could have beaten up one of them, but not when the entirety of them came running after the first guy yelled. She wasn't exactly dressed for a fight, or armed in the slightest.
And so, she found herself standing before the Joker himself, grinning as he poured himself a drink behind the bar, "Hello, honey," He said, getting no response, "Sorry for dropping by unannounced. You didn't even get the chance to put your face on for me."
He meant her Harley Quinn makeup. It wasn't like she'd had a chance to go out and get re-outfitted. She'd been lying low.
Joker leaned his tall frame forward, lowering himself to peer into Harley's face as she tried to keep from meeting his manic eyes, "Well?" He said, "Cat got your tongue?" Before she could say anything in her defense, he threw his drink into her face.
Harley got a faceful of dark liquor. The strong alcohol burned her eyes and nose, causing her to sputter and shake her head, 'At least he didn't-.'
He then proceeded to level her with a teeth-rattling backhanded slap that left her weak in the knees, an angry red mark on her face. That had been more along the lines of what Harley had been expecting... for starters.
'There we go,' She thought to herself sardonically, tasting blood in her mouth. He was still waiting on an answer, "You know. Just spendin' some time with old friends."
"Old friends?" There was something foreboding in the way he spoke, "...Isn't that nice?"
Loud revving from outside led to a motorcycle crashing through the front windows of the bar, hitting a few of the people just standing around. The rest scattered and pointed guns at the new hole in the building. A few were brave enough to jump outside to get at the person. They found nothing.
At that moment, the upstairs door to Selina's office that connected to the upper portion of the duplex burst open. Red Hood gazed down on his prey, all caught off-guard as he began to spray anyone caught out in the open with gunfire from a pair of automatic pistols.
Anyone who wasn't immediately shot down scrambled for cover and started to fire back. Red Hood leapt down and entered the fray, running and gunning with the abandon of a newbie in a first-person shooter game, only with the dexterity to avoid getting hit.
Harley had used the original panic to crawl away, underneath the gunfire and flying debris to try and reach somewhere safe, out of reach of the bite of the bullets, "Who the hell is that?" she whispered to herself from her hiding place.
During a lull in the shooting, the Joker stood behind his cover of the bar and looked the new arrival up and down, unaware of who he was dealing with, "Who the hell are you?"
Red Hood didn't say a word, instead letting his guns do the talking. He popped new magazines into his pistols and took aim at the Joker. The villain hit the deck as the bar was torn apart, crawling underneath tables and tipping them over to make himself harder to hit. He cackled the entire time, despite the threat to his life.
Red Hood temporarily aimed away from the Joker to gun down two thugs who tried to get the drop on him. The floor was slick with spilled alcohol and spilled blood.
As the deadly shootout progressed, Harley had crawled her way to the alley. She ducked behind a dumpster when she heard footsteps running from the mouth of the alley toward the back door. A blast rocked the storage area when they ran inside, presumably scattering their parts all over the room.
By now, she was afraid that moving would get her a stray bullet or a landmine underneath her foot for her trouble. And yet, if she stayed, no matter who won, there was a good chance that she was next. The sound of a weight dropping down on top of the dumpster made her believe that her number was finally up.
When she finally dared to turn her head, she saw Null crouched on top of the dumpster, extending a hand down to her, "Come with me if you want to live."
It did hit him afterwards how lame it was that he'd said that, but it honestly had been the first thing that came to mind.
Harley was less than impressed, to say the least, "Who the hell are you now!?" She finally said, "Where are all'a you weirdos comin' from all of a sudden?"
Null recoiled slightly, but recovered quickly enough. He had heard worse, "I may be a weirdo, but I'm the weirdo that isn't gonna plug you full of holes if he finds out you're Harley fucking Quinn, or do... whatever the hell the Joker's gonna do when he gets to you," He argued in return.
Harley was clearly unfamiliar with him, looking him up and down with uncertainty, "Who's side are you on?"
"Honestly?" Null said as it sounded like World War III going on just inside the Tin Roof Club, "Solidly rooting for Red Hood on this one. But you're Catwoman's friend or something, and she taught me some shit, so I've got your back."
Harley's options were to go with the new kid, or take her chances on her own with the gun-toting biker and/or the Joker. Null seemed far less threatening by comparison, "Alright, kid. Get me outta here. But no funny stuff! Where's your safehouse?"
Null paused before he went to summon his Gravboard, sparing a moment to look back incredulously, "Ha, my safehouse. That's cute," He said, "If you don't have anywhere safe to go, I'll get you clear, but I'll zap myself before I take you to my hideout."
Harley's mouth fell open in disbelief. He was going to save her, but she had to pick her hiding spot? What a raw deal, "What kinda crappy rescue is this!?"
Null recoiled slightly at the lack of gratitude. For a stunt like this, he was like Evel Knievel – he should have gotten credit for the attempt. He never guaranteed it would be good, "The only kind you're getting? Take it or leave it," He declared, "My conscience made me come here, but it can be easily overruled."
There were countless places he'd rather be than ground zero on Red Hood's attempt to devastate the Joker. He wasn't in the business of rescuing people despite themselves. If she thought she could do better on her own, he'd hop off back home and get back on Playstation for the rest of the night.
He was certain he'd only feel bad about hearing she'd been killed or whatever for a short time, knowing that he'd at least given her the option of letting him try to help. How accurate he was in thinking that way was up for debate.
Harley sat and thought about it... until another explosion rang out from inside of the bar, "Okay, okay, get me outta here!" She reached up and took his hand, "How are we getting' away?"
Suspicion piled up in her gut when she saw Null grin at her, "Just remember, as long as I'm on the board, you'll stick to it."
Harley raised an eyebrow at the seemingly innocent advice, "What boaaaaaard!?"
The question ended in a cry as she found herself boosted into the air, and then hurtling forward over the lower buildings of East End.
XxX
(Some Time Later – Central Gotham City – Robinson Park)
Despite what Null had said in warning, Harley had kept a death grip on him the entire time they flew. She'd stopped screaming for just long enough to give him some kind of bearing of where they were going. He'd had no idea she was wary of heights. Of course, traveling at the speed they were going in the open air probably didn't help.
It was with great relief when Null dropped off of the Gravboard with Harley in tow. Relief on his eardrums and relief on his neck, as she'd been cutting off the flow of air to his brain for half of the trip.
Null massaged his throat with a cough, "Jesus," He said, "Why the hell are we here? You gonna hide out at the park? Live off the land?"
"In a manner of speakin'," Harley said cryptically, looking around for something. Whatever it was, Null wasn't certain. Not until she called out, "Hey, Red! I know you know I'm here! Make with the hospitality already!"
The ground shook and a giant gnarled root emerged from the ground, parting to reveal Poison Ivy, who walked out to meet them, "Well-well-well. I wasn't expecting you to drop by so late. Or so soon after we saw each other."
Harley tried to sweep it all under the table with a wave of her hand, "Extenuating circumstances, and all that."
Null's attention was focused on the massive root still sticking out of the ground, "...That's disturbing."
For the first time since Null had landed, Poison Ivy paid him mind, regarding him with a look before crossing her arms to Harley, "You're just revealing me to all kinds of strange people today, aren't you?"
Null felt a threatening undertone there, one that Harley tried to quell. She knew Ivy was no fan of men, "Aww, he ain't that bad. He got me outta Selina's place without gettin' either of us shot."
"Shot?" If danger had been Ivy's undertone before, it was overt at that moment. In the moonlight, she could see the bruising on Harley's face, "...Who did that to you?" She asked, reaching out to touch the mark.
"Joker..."
Ivy bared her teeth in anger, "I'll kill him."
Null could see plant life that he knew wasn't native to a city park growing around them, "He's probably dead, if that helps," He said, trying to mollify the green-skinned woman in some way, "Red Hood isn't exactly the type to leave the bad folk in one piece. That's why I went to pull your girl out of there," He clicked his tongue and shook his head, "Selina's gonna be pissed."
Ivy let out a considerate hum at Null's words, sizing him up much the way she had earlier in the evening, though she didn't know this, "Come here, child."
This time, Null wasn't going to let himself get cornered by some creeping plant life, "No, I'm fine over here. I really only came here to drop her off. This is as close as I'm getting," He said as he started inching away toward the Gravboard.
"No, it's not," Poison Ivy snapped her fingers, causing several venus fly traps the size of full-grown men to spring from the ground. The ones that were close enough snapped at Null, while the ones that weren't spat a green fluid at him.
Fortunately, Null had been anticipating some kind of treachery. He just didn't think it would come in the form of insta-grown man-eating plants, "Oh, this is bullshit!" Null complained, while dodging the attacks meant for him.
Ivy stood back and watched her babies go to work on trying to kill off Null, "Sorry, Harl. Dealing with Selina's little bar boy in front of her might have been one thing, but this one? I hope you weren't too attached."
Harley seemed to consider it for a moment before shrugging with a grin, "...Nah. Sorry, whatever-your-name-is. House rules apply, and we ain't in Kitty-Cat's house right now. It's Red's call."
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Null shouted, stopping long enough to uppercut a fly trap and kick another one that strayed too close when trying to snap at him, "I saved you back at the bar!"
It was all just pleading on deaf ears. The two women were more concerned with hanging out than pondering the merits of his life.
"Aren't my babies just beautiful?" Ivy asked her friend, now that it was clear they were on the same page, "The enzyme they secrete is more acidic in nature than what one would find in the wild. Perfect for dealing with trouble sorts."
Harley nodded in agreement, "Pretty nice security setup ya got here. Been busy the last few days settin' up roots, huh?" She took a moment to laugh at her own joke, "Get it? Settin' up roots?
"But we really should do something about all of that movement," Ivy mused aloud, "How else will my babies get their meal?"
Null growled to himself and began to spark up his electricity. He didn't know if plants were affected by electricity, but he was willing to give it a shot. The next time the closest ones opened up to to try and snap at him, he fired a two-handed bolt right into the opening. The 'heads' of the venus fly trap exploded spectacularly.
It had been quite unexpected by everyone, albeit for different reasons.
"Holy shit!" Null exclaimed, covering his face from the plant debris that went flying from the blast, "I know plants aren't supposed to do that!"
"My babies!" Ivy cried desperately, "Their enzymes are volatile!"
"I didn't know that!" Harley defended herself, "And I didn't know he could do that either!" Nor did she know that this would result in Ivy trying to put down her would-be guardian angel.
Null smiled, his eyes glowing blue and white underneath his hood. Therein lay the joy of nobody caring about who you were. They wouldn't go out of their way to learn your powers.
He systematically electrocuted and destroyed every venus fly trap that Poison Ivy had sprouted before pushing himself into the air where he summoned his Gravboard to catch him, "You're welcome!" He shouted over Poison Ivy's furious, anguished cries.
That was what he got for trying to do something nice. A good reminder as to why he tended to avoid doing such things.
XxX
(East End of Gotham City)
Null had swung back around to the Tin Roof Club after getting Harley Quinn out of there, only to find that the place had gotten burned out because of the fracas involving Red Hood and the Joker. Police were all over the place, firefighters were still putting out flames, and bodies were getting pulled out and carted off.
If Selina found out he'd been involved in any way, she would kick his ass. Fortunately, insurance would probably cover it, and as far as fronts went, she didn't keep anything there that would incriminate her.
Later, in the wee hours of the morning, he received a message from Red Hood to meet up with him. That sounded like good news. He didn't think the Joker would have left the man alive if he'd won, which meant that Red Hood had won. And if Red Hood had won, he'd probably killed the Joker.
Null didn't see a single way in which anyone could consider that a bad thing.
It was with a spring in his step that he landed on the roof of a derelict office building, despite having narrowly escaped death with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. For as nice as she had been as 'Q', she was clearly still a dangerous criminal for a reason. After the initial anger (and getting away safely, obviously), Null wasn't even that upset. She hadn't known he was Max, and what else did he expect? The old adage of the Scorpion and the Frog applied here.
Maybe Red Hood did have a point from earlier? He wasn't an angry, grudge-holding kind of guy. Not unless he was truly screwed over. He'd get you back for whatever was done, if he could, and be finished with it.
Red Hood didn't look any worse for wear as he came out of the shadows upon Null's rooftop arrival, "Kid! Thanks for the tip."
"Sure," Null deadpanned, "Way to go scorched-earth on my mentor's bar. I'm sure she'll love that when I talk to her."
"Sarcasm aside, you don't seem very upset about it."
"It's not my bar."
That was what Red Hood liked about Null. For the most part, he seemed to keep things simple. Red Hood chuckled and gestured for Null to follow him out of the open.
"So," Null said as he walked with the helmeted vigilante, "You're here, and you seem... pleased? I'm assuming you won."
"Oh, yeah," Red Hood replied, feeling very good about himself at the moment. He led Null to a side door and threw it open to show a badly beaten Joker tied to a chair.
On frightened instinct at being in the closest proximity to the most dangerous man in Gotham City's history, Null lifted his hand to try and fry the man where he sat. Red Hood slapped his arm away to avert the sudden shot, sending it flying right past Joker's head, burning a hole into the wall behind him.
Red Hood slammed the door shut and dragged a stunned Null down the hall, until the young thief regained his bearings and planted his feet, "...You didn't kill him," Null said, pointing back in the direction they had come from.
Red Hood scoffed, turning away from Null, "I'm going to."
"Why isn't he dead?"
"I'm going to kill him. There's something I want to do first."
Null felt something pop inside of his head. Possibly an aneurysm, "No. No-no-no-no-no. That's stupid. You've got him dead-to-rights," He pointed at Red Hood's visible armaments, "You've got three guns on you and two knives. I can sense it. Shoot his ass in the face right now, and be done with it."
Red Hood's fingers brushed against the jagged knife at his waist. Such a weapon would easily make the man suffer as he killed him, "No, he doesn't get off that easy. With all of the shit he's done... no, this ends when I say it ends."
Null never thought he would have to reason with a man in order to get them to kill someone, "When an exterminator finds a harmful pest inside of someone's house, he doesn't hold it in another room until he decides it's a good time to kill it. He gets rid of that thing then and there-."
"-The Joker killed me, Null!" Red Hood suddenly exclaimed, getting Null to lean back in a surprised recoil, "He beat me to a pulp, made my mother watch, and left us both to die!" He punctuated this by putting his fist through a wall.
Null was wary, but still dead-set on getting his point across, "...Really not seeing how that's making my 'shoot him in the head' suggestion any less valid," He wasn't crazy about cold-blooded murder, but some people had to go.
Red Hood took his helmet off, revealing most of his face to Null, save the domino mask he wore underneath, for the first time ever, "He did all of that to me, left my body for Batman to find... all of that, so why the FUCK is he still alive!?" He shouted, throwing his helmet across the room, "I shouldn't have to kill the Joker myself! Batman should have done it himself YEARS ago! What the fuck is it going to take!? Is his little code that important to him? More important than saving lives? More important than family?"
Null let Red Hood storm away. He gave him a few moments to get his head in order, perhaps to calm down as well, before he tried talking to him again. Honestly, Null needed to get his own thoughts sorted before he tried to interject himself into a killer's personal turmoil.
Red Hood had shifted locations to a fire escape that allowed him to stare out at East End and the Gotham City coast. Null squeezed himself out of the window and sat on the railing of the escape, "Hood, I understand..."
A glare of caution was sent Null's way, prompting him to choose his words wisely, "Do you really?"
"Well, no," Null admitted shamelessly, "I can see where you're coming from, though. But, to be fair to Batman – and every part of me wants to kick my own ass for defending the man – that's his credo. We've all got things we choose that define us. I do. You clearly do. He does too. We've all got our line. If that's the one that he won't cross, that's that," He said with a shrug, "You can think he's wrong. You can think he's a moron. But that's free will. That's the beauty and horror of choice."
Once he was done, Null paused to take stock of what he'd said. Not half bad, in his opinion. Living with all of Rose's crazy for as long as he did and learning how to talk her down had given him a decent ability to wax philosophical when the moment called for it.
Red Hood defined himself by his previous relationship with Batman; how it ended... what had become of him in the aftermath. The Joker was just a playing piece in this game of guilt and revenge. That was a dangerous approach. But people did dumb things when they were thinking emotionally, and as cerebral as Red Hood tried to be, it was clear by now that he was a creature driven by his emotions – most of them related to anger.
"Honestly, I think you should pop him. I'm pretty sure I would if I were you," Null said, one last attempt to try and plead his case, "I haven't killed anyone before, but I'm not gonna act like I'm above it, or I could never see myself doing it."
He was honestly going to kill Mr. Zsasz during their encounter at school. Had Barbara not been there to actually stop him, he wouldn't have stopped kicking the defeated serial killer in the head until the top of his skull popped off. He didn't know if he would have been enraged enough to kill Anarky during their run-in, but by the time Batman had stopped him, he knew he hadn't been finished savagely beating him yet.
He hoped old Lonnie thought about him whenever he had to chew whatever crap they were serving him in juvie.
Red Hood eventually let out a sigh, "You and I are not alike, kid. That's the last time I'll say it," He was more concerned with Null's blasé attitude toward the fate of the Joker, "Why don't you have more of a problem with me killing someone in cold blood?"
While the boy wasn't a holier-than-thou cape, he was a criminal of the non-violent variety. He stole, and sometimes that involved putting a hurting on people, but his modus operandi was usually to run before trying to fight.
Null rolled his eyes, "Because you're talking about killing a mass murderer. He's killed a ton of people. If he goes back to Arkham, he's probably gonna get out again and kill a lot more. But... I guess this isn't about him."
The Joker was a tool that Red Hood wanted to use to prove a point.
Red Hood smile grimly. Now he was starting to get it, "Shuffle on home, Max. Shuffle on home, and don't worry yourself about it. This is just family business," He gave an upward nod of acknowledgment, "Thanks for the tip."
"You're welcome," Null said, standing up on the railing, preparing to summon his Gravboard to leave before another remark from Red Hood made him pause.
"Jason."
"What?"
Red Hood smirked at the befuddled thief, "I know your name, now you know mine. Not like it means anything anyway. I'm supposed to be dead."
Null hopped on his board as it hovered in front of him, "Well, you know where I live too. You giving up any of your safehouse locations?" He said, trying to exploit the show of good faith a little bit.
"Beat it before the sun comes up, already, would you?"
And so, Null did, taking off and flying back to his primary base of operations to change and head home.
Null didn't dislike Red Hood. In the grand scheme of things, the young man had never actually done anything to him. He was one of the only capes or crooks Null had ever met that had never shot at him or tried to beat him to a pulp. He'd never even tried to capture him. Yes, Red Hood blew up his car once, but that was more the fault of the Russian gangsters who stole it in the first place, and it wasn't like he couldn't afford another one.
He still missed that sweet car though. It had only been a few weeks since it had been destroyed. He hadn't had it for that long either. At least now he knew how he'd be spending his Saturday when he woke up – browsing around for a new car.
XxX
(The Next Day)
Max hadn't heard from Selina all night, so he'd decided to go over to her place and check on her. Why not? Enough weirdness had transpired on her property the night before without a peep from her that it seemed. Turning up after noon seemed like a good bet, especially since he needed sleep in his own right.
After buzzing into Selina's penthouse, he was greeted with the sight of the woman more disheveled than he'd ever seen her, hair askew and wearing a satin robe. Greeting him at her door with extreme annoyance and grogginess, she wordlessly shuffled off to the kitchen to get some pills and something to nourish herself as her ward made himself at home.
"You own a bar. How are you hungover?" Max asked. He would have laughed had he not been presented with a half-bloodshot glare the moment he started smiling, "Well, you owned a bar."
That remark got Selina's attention for the first time that day, "...What?" She garbled through a mouthful of aspirin.
Max walked over and showed her pictures of what was left of the Tin Roof Club from as close as he was allowed to get. When he'd wandered that way on his way over, there had still been police and firefighters on the scene.
"Apparently Joker came looking for his Harley," Max busied himself with raiding Selina's refrigerator while she scrolled through the pictures in his phone, "Red Hood crashed the party, and... well," Nothing more needed to be said. After all, she was looking at the results.
Selina let out a long groan that only grew in intensity as she saw image after image. Meanwhile, Max had found some fresh fruit to munch on, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Max took a moment to finish chewing on his bite of fruit before dignifying her with a response, "Have you ever tried calling you while you were at a thing?" He asked sarcastically, "I called you and texted you like five times. Did you have it off, or something?"
In fact, Selina did have her phone on 'do not disturb' mode, which was standard for whenever she went scouting. Nothing would interfere with her finding a mark. She walked back to her room and found that her phone had over a dozen missed calls from both Max and Harley Quinn... and the police.
She felt the headache from her hangover getting worse, and Max didn't do much to make it any better, "Look at the bright side," She heard him call from the kitchen.
Selina exited her room to find more water or juice to rehydrate with, "Maxie, I'm hung over, my night was a bust, and my bar is burned to the ground. What is the bright side here?"
"Harley Quinn is gone."
Selina froze with a cold bottle of water to her lips. She took a drink, pondering Max's point, "Which means Ivy probably won't be coming back either," Those could only be good things, "Huh. You're right. Grey cloud, silver-lining. She's not dead, is she?"
"Didn't hear anything about it. Joker either," Max said, knowing more than he let on. If Selina found out that it was kind of his fault everything had gone up in flames, she'd grab her claws and turn him into a scratching post, "And you have insurance, right?"
Selina regarded Max with a raised eyebrow, "The club was a front."
"You have insurance, right?" Max repeated, knowingly.
Selina scoffed and chuckled at his persistence,"Yes, I have insurance," She would get money to rebuild soon enough. She'd spared no expense on her policy, and destruction via supervillain/superhero clashes paid out well, knowing that it was almost inevitable, "And I guess I don't have to worry about anyone watching the business while we're on our trip."
Yes! The trip! Being reminded that he was at some point soon going to be out of his death trap of a city never failed to get Max excited. Let Red Hood do his thing with whatever convoluted plan to get back at Batman he wanted. It wouldn't be any of Max's concern in a few weeks. He'd be thousands of miles away.
"Whoo!" Max exclaimed before stopping with a thought, "Huh. I don't have any suits. I should probably buy some suits or something, right?"
It was clear from the look on his face that he was quite out of his depth. Selina shook her head in amused disbelief, "You don't even know where to start, do you?" Max's sheepish expression was all the answer she needed, "Alright. Let me get myself together, and later, we'll go find you some nice things."
"You're paying, right?"
"No joy, freeloader."