My childhood sweetheart, Zhang Xu married a mortal woman.
On the day of their wedding, I stood in the audience and watched him and the delicate woman beside kneel down to worship the master. The one was talented and the other was beautiful, they were a match made in heaven.
Scrutinising gazes fell on me and comments reached my ears, all talking about why Zhang Xu did not marry me, his childhood sweetheart but married a mortal woman instead.
He even disobeyed his master several times for the sake of this mortal woman.
Many expressed their dissatisfaction about it, but I felt cold instead.
Turns out that many years of companionship cannot be compared to the freshness that came along the way.
Raising my head, I looked at Zheng Xu grinning ear to ear, he must be extremely happy now that he has married his beloved woman.
Looking at their figures opposite of mine, my heart clenched, it was difficult to breathe.
Zheng Xu, this is the last time I will feel sad because of you.
Since I have decided on practising the path of ruthlessness, nothing in this world will affect my emotions anymore. Love, anger, sadness, happiness...there will be no such thing in my life ever.
Before I went into seclusion, I heard the festive noise behind me, before the doors closed. "Seclusion begins."
Since young, I didn't have a father and my mother treated me with cold eyes and indifference. The most common thing she said to me was, "Have you cultivated today?"
She doesn't care about my life, my happiness or anger, she only cares about how well I cultivate.
It wasn't until I found a book on ruthlessness in my mother's room only did I realize that it's just wasn't that my mother didn't love me, she just practiced the path of ruthlessness,she didn't understand what love was.
Later, when I became older, my mother asked me to practice it too.
However at that time, I had already met Zheng Xu and the young man's love was simple but sincere. The ignorant love sprouted in my heart, which made me unwilling to become a person as heartless and loveless like my mother.
So on the surface, I followed my mother's advice and practiced ruthlessness, but I always deliberately made a mistake when I was only one step away from completing it.
So now, I am only one step from mastering the path of ruthlessness.
As I knelt on the futon,the feeling of the hot and cold temperatures simulates all over my body.
I could feel that my heart is being completely stripped, stripping away every trace of love and hate and finally only a physical but hollow heart was left.
My heart seems to be crying out in pain. Those long-rooted emotions had been integrated with my heart, and it felt as if they were dripping with blood when removed.
Drops of tears trickled down my cheeks.
.....
When I finally opened my eyes, my way of ruthlessness has already been perfected.
As I took a deep breath, I could feel that my bottleneck was gone and I had reached new heights. This should allow me to win at the Xian Xia competition, my eyes gleaming.
Coming out of the seclusion room, a junior came running to me in panic.
"Senior sister Song Wen, Senior brother Zheng Xu told me to pass you a message that he would come and give you an explanation once he is done."
Oh I almost forgot, on the day I went into seclusion, Zheng Xu was marrying that mortal woman.
I shook my head saying indifferently, "No need, I will be busy practicing these days and don't have time to see irrelevant people."
Now to me, apart from cultivation, everything else is irrelevant.
Well I still remember the past with Zheng Xu, but it's just like watching a stranger now, there is no fluctuation in my heart.
My first meeting with Zheng Xu was a cliche one.
When I was a child, my mother often scolded me because of my cultivation. So while I hid behind a stone and cried, Zheng Xu appeared.
He is the gentlest person I had ever met. He gingerly wiped my tears and reassured me not to cry, crying was the behavior of a coward. He said that I am the bravest little girl, so I cannot cry.
I had never felt warmth, so his actions were like a beacon of light, brightening my dark, cold and lonely world.
Zheng Xu was the best in swordsmanship, whenever he fights, each strike of the sword may look nothing but it was swift and fatal.
He would often hold my hand and teach me sword skills. Even if I couldn't remember it, he wouldn't be annoyed and would still patiently demonstrate them to me over and over again.
In order not to disappoint Zheng Xu, I stayed in the yard to practice my swordsmanship every night, not wanting to let him down.
Every time I accidentally cut my hand with the sword, I would not cry, because he said I was the bravest.
However, when his beloved woman was crying, his voice would be full of distress as he coaxed her, "Jing er, it's alright. Just cry, I am here."
.....
As I continued to practice in seclusion. In the blink of an eye, a month passed did I stopped.
Zheng Xu and Chu Jing showed up outside the practise room.
Chu Jing burrowed in Zheng Xu's arms like a frightened dove. Occasionally, she would raise her head to look around, when her gaze interlocked with my indifferent eyes, she immediately shrank back into Zheng Xu's arms and shivered.
Zheng Xu looked at me with a very complicated look. He looked like he had a thousand things to say to me, but at this moment he didn't know how to say it.