Riley
Even though I'm bisexual, I have never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Just friends with benefits. Even then, no one was interested beyond my looks. Everytime I tried doing anything else with them, it never worked out. Hell, I even asked what they liked about me and the answer was always the same.
"You look hot." "You're so good looking." I've heard them all.
But with Ethan, he was different. When we first spoke, I knew he liked my looks, but he actually got to know me. We liked the same movies, had similar tastes in many areas and even discovered new interests together. No one has ever spent any time with me outside of the bedroom.
When he started avoiding me, I was afraid to lose him. That moment I confronted him, I took a gamble and kissed him. When he kissed back, I knew I had found my soulmate. I also discovered that sex was better when it's with someone you love.
When it comes to men, I'm a bottom. So I took it upon myself to guide Ethan in that department. Let me say, for someone with practically no experience, he handled me as if he were a pro. We tried many positions that night and went at it so many times that weekend, we ran out of condoms by Sunday morning.
"Hey Riley," Ethan called to me after our first time, "Is it true that you're a playboy?" The fear in his eyes made it clear to me that he was worried about our relationship.
"Well, I'm bi so I've been with both girls and guys. But everyone I have been with never saw me as a person. They always told me I was good looking and everything, but no one ever took the time to know me. Until you. You'd be my first true relationship."
"I guess you can say it's the same for me, except no one ever saw me because I'm not good looking. People just ignored me and never paid any attention to me. Then you came along and made me feel like I actually mattered."
I looked Ethan in the eye and told him the truth, "You have always mattered to me. Since the first day we met, I knew you would be someone special to me."
"That's so corny," He laughed. "But I like it. I like this, with you."
"Me too." I pull him close and kiss him, thereby starting round two.
Over the course of the next few weeks, we became practically inseparable. Every Time I was invited to an event by some cute girl or guy, I always brought Ethan along. He would be a little jealous when I would be approached, but I always cheered him up when I mentioned that we both would come. Sometimes the other party would make a face wondering why I would invite him.
Ethan was not ready to come out yet so we would always tell everyone that we were best friends who did everything together. I guess you can say it's my way of showing off my handsome boyfriend without admitting we are boyfriends.
Weeks turned to months and we were still going strong. We went at it like rabbits and some nights I got loud. Being twenty had its advantages. Don't get me wrong, sex was a big part of our relationship, but it wasn't the only thing we had. We gave each other anniversary gifts every month, cooked for each other, and went out on dates.
The first gift he ever gave me was for our one month anniversary. We had stopped at this kiosk at the mall after watching the latest Marvel movie. He bought me a cute little turtle keychain made out of jade.
"For you," He said while giving me the gift. "Turtles are your favorite animal right?"
"Of course," I answered. "I have something for you too." I pull out a small gift box from my coat and give it to him.
"What is it?" He asked with that cute face he makes when he is excited.
"Open it and find out."
Ethan opens the box and pulls out a fob watch necklace. His eyes sparkle at the gift and he hugs me real tight. "I love it. Where did you get it?"
"I saw it online and since it's our favorite show, I figured I would get that or a sonic screwdriver."
"I wouldn't mind a sonic screwdriver." he said with that cute shy smile of his.
"But it's better to engrave something on it." I hinted.
Ethan opened up the watch and on the inside cover read, "To Ethan, I love you till the end of time. Riley"
He looked up at me, surprised that I engraved my confession to him on his gift. He became shy again, "D..do you mean that?"
Anyone else would've made me angry, but I understand Ethan. He was never anyone's choice. Other guys rejected him, no one paid any attention to him, and when he would talk to people; they would look at him as if he were some homeless person. That alone would make anyone feel like they were ugly and unwanted.
I grabbed Ethan's arm and pulled him towards the restrooms. I make sure no one is around and I look him in the eye and tell him, "I absolutely mean it. We have fun together, even before we became boyfriends. You are special to me, Ethan. You will always be my choice for anything. I really love you." I seal my declaration with a kiss.
"I love you too, Riley." It was then that I knew that I didn't need anyone else but him.
Weeks had turned to months and I was over at his place so much that I was practically living there. Most nights we wouldn't sleep much, and other nights it was so hard to keep our hands to ourselves.
But also, in that time, I helped Ethan become more confident in himself. I helped pick out certain outfits that would highlight his best qualities, got his hair done, even got him to wear contacts. I was trying to get him to come out of his shell and see himself in a better light.
I could not believe the end result. He looked like he got off a movie set. He was always beautiful to me, even as a shy nerd. But with the makeover I got him, I was tempted to take him home right now. I'll admit I did get a bit jealous of him when people started staring at him, checking him out.
But, I had nothing to worry about. Ethan always remained loyal. Guys and girls would flirt with him or ask him out. But just as I did with him, he always invited me to come along. To some, they were more excited because they would have two good looking guys on an outing but if it was something more, Ethan would just say he was already in a relationship.
No one suspected that he was in a relationship with me. Well, except maybe Hector, but he kept quiet and always looked at us with suspicious eyes.
I could not be any happier than when I had Ethan. With the spring semester coming to a close, we were making plans to vacation together. After I help my dad out with whatever he needs help with on his political campaign. I left for the week with my dad, counting the days until I saw Ethan again.
Ethan
With Riley gone, I was so bored and I wanted to get out of the house. With the exams over, everyone had gone home. Steve went back to Louisiana, but Hector lived about twenty minutes away.
I called him up, "Hey Hector, are you busy tonight?"
"Nope, I'm totally free." He answers, "I haven't left the dorms yet."
"Want to catch a movie then?"
"Definitely."
Luckily, it wasn't a far drive for Hector. He picked me up and we went to the theater downtown. Once we bought our tickets, we had about an hour to kill. We decided to grab a bite to eat a couple blocks over.
"Why is it that college towns are so dead after semester breaks?" Hector asked.
"At least parking isn't a hassle." I say to brighten his mood.
"Why must you always be so cheery?" He said sarcastically.
"I'm not cheery."
"Yes, you are." He replied, "Ever since you started dating you've been less gloomy."
Hector could always figure me out, so I couldn't deny it when he asked me who it was but before I could answer, I said his name as I saw him.
"Riley?" He was walking with a girl in his arm. I decided to follow them but where they were going made me freeze with disbelief. He took her to a hotel.
Don't jump to conclusions, I told myself. Maybe she is a friend of his dad's
Hector snapped me out of my train of thought. "C'mon, we'll be late for the movie."
The scene kept plaguing my mind so much, I couldn't enjoy the movie. It kept playing over and over in my mind. I had to know what happened.
Riley came back the next day, as he usually would, he kissed me and started preparing coffee. I could tell something was on his mind when he started telling me about his trip.
I didn't hesitate to ask him what I saw. "Hey Riley, did you go to a hotel with a girl?"
Riley set down his mug and didn't even turn around to face me.
"Oh," he said, "Sorry. I guess you saw us. That was rude of me. My bad." He was so nonchalant about it as he said it.
Hearing this from him made my heart break, releasing all the anger and sadness I had been holding back since I saw him take that girl to the hotel. "My bad?!?!"
"Like I said, I'm sorry." Not one ounce of remorse was given in those words. I suddenly felt like I was made to look like a fool in front of a crowd of people who were laughing at me.
"You bastard," I said to him, "Is your only problem that I found out?"
"If anything, this was not the first time." he said it as if it were no big deal. Then he said, "Besides, you never asked me, so I never told you."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The past six months suddenly felt like one huge lie. I answered back with, "Normally, your partner would never doubt you."
"Really," he said, "Now?"
"Yes, really."
How could he treat these past six months like nothing? I trusted him, I loved him. How could he betray me like this?
"I thought you'd understand this side of me, Ethan." he said. "I guess I was wrong."
"Seriously…" I was trying my hardest not to release my tears and give in to my anger.
"You know," he began, "I really do love you. As far as men go, you're the only man for me, but I sleep with women as well." He paused for a moment as he was struggling to say the next words. "If you can't accept that, then we should break up."
Nothing prepared me for those words, "What?" was all I could say, "So basically, what you're saying is that we were only fuck buddies?"
The look on his face when I said this confused me. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "If I had to categorize what we had, then yes."
That was the final nail in my coffin. Whatever love and joy I felt with him, was suddenly gone. I began to cry, I could not hold the tears back any longer. What he said next made matters worse.
"Look, things don't have to change between us, just don't think too much into it ok?"
I shrug him off and tearfully say, "Get. Out."
"Ethan…"
"GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!" I didn't let him finish his sentence. I cried so hard all I noticed in the next few seconds were him leaving and me starting to throw things. I tore off my fob watch necklace and threw it somewhere. Honestly I don't remember much after that except the pain, sadness, and loneliness of Riley leaving.
How delusional I was, I honestly thought I was special to him. But it turns out I was just another conquest. But try as I might, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Everything we had experienced together, shared together, made it more difficult to just leave him.
After a couple weeks, I would text him. Asking him to come back and work things out with him. I would see him at school and he would go in another direction to avoid me. I wanted to tell him that I still wanted him in my life. I didn't care if we were boyfriends or fuck buddies. I just wanted him back.
I couldn't help it anymore, I had to confront him so I followed him from his class. He was talking to a girl who was flirting with him. I wanted to rush over there and pull her away from him. But I don't think he would appreciate that. I fought the urge and continued to follow him. He took her to a hotel and they went up to the room. I went to grab a drink by the bar, keeping a lookout for Riley after he was done.
I waited for two hours and had four drinks, only to have someone grab me by the arm and drag me to an alley outside the hotel.
"Just give it a damn rest, would you?" It was Riley.
I looked at him, I could swear there were tears in his eyes as well as concern for me. I wanted to tell him what I have been trying to tell him since our break up, but he didn't let me finish.
"Just stop, Ethan. It's pathetic. Stop stalking me from class, stop texting me and don't follow me on my dates. You are being creepy."
"I can't help it." I answered, "It bothers me."
"What?"
"I can't stop thinking about you. I'm going crazy not having you there with me. I wanted you to come back to me."
Riley punches the wall behind me, scaring me for the first time.
"If you don't quit it, I will tell the whole school that you're gay."
"What?" I couldn't believe that he would sink that low. I never thought it possible.
He pulls out his phone and shows me a video of us having sex.
"As for me, I'm bi," He said coldly. "I have no intention of hiding my sexuality. But you, on the other hand, are still in the closet."
"When did you take this?" I asked, unaware of how the video was taken from the outside of my apartment."
"As soon as we started having sex," he answered. "It's my fail-safe for situations like this."
I didn't know what to say. I was shocked, horrified, and violated that this man whom I had loved is resorting to this type of blackmail. I felt the heart break again and the feeling that I had been tricked and used came over me. What really destroyed the old me were Riley's final words.
"Don't bother me anymore. No more calls, no more texts, just stay away from me."
Riley had left me alone in the alley. I could not process anything after that. I was broken, emotionally, physically and even psychologically. I felt nothing but pain and sadness, I didn't even notice the rain falling on me. I know, it sounds like some cliche scene from a romance drama, but it was raining while I was mourning my love, my joy, and my old self.
I don't remember what happened next or how I got home, but Hector was there holding me while I cried. I told him the whole story and I was afraid I'd lose someone else like I'd lost Riley. But Hector didn't abandon me. The next few years of my life were all a big blur to me, but as far as Hector tells me, I was a complete mess for several years.
All because of my stupidity. All because of Riley. The love I had for him has now died and all that is there is nothing but hate.