JULIAN OLIVAREZ
They say that every dawn is a promise of a day better than tomorrow. At least that's what they say, but they always forget to tell us that even yesterday had its own dawn.
Hahaha. I laugh at my internal joke. It is bad, isn't it?
Anyway, today is D-day,I woke up feeling recharged and energetic. Must be the excitement of the promise that today holds.
Of course I slept in,a man has to get his beauty sleep in whole. I woke up at four in the evening to prepare for my date with Adrien.
Scratch that,hang out with Adrien. Yeah, that is what it is.
I got into the bathroom to prepare a warm bath. I added in every aromatherapy oils and bath bombs I have in my cabinets. I wanna smell like a blooming orchard tonight.
I let myself marinate in the scented water,while I think about my how dramatically eventful my life has been lately. I am glad that I am still standing though, and ready to move on.
Honestly,I can't believe I am ready to make new friends and maybe someday meet another lover. I want to love and be loved like I have never been loved in my whole life. I don't want Issa and Matt to affect my future relationships with anyone, so I forgave them and let go. Now, what I am doing is called moving on slash leveling up. I want to be a different person,I want to achieve my greater success in life. I don't want to be the loser that everyone else sees me as. Even my own family,I know they acknowledge me because they expect me to help them financially. Otherwise,they would have nothing to do with me.
I want someone to love me for me, not for what they expect in return. I can't live a life where it's a transaction,money for emotions.
I'm working on self-love and building confidence in me. I know I deserve so much better in life and that I am worthy,I just need to believe in myself. That is why lately,I have been doing things differently.
Step one was acceptance of my reality,two,I went to therapy, and three,I'm putting myself out there.
I am no longer going to live in fear and hide whenever I face a challenge. I am going to make friends and find love.
Adrien is the first person on my list. I expect to make more friends and add them onto my non-existent list. Technically,he approached me first,talked to me and asked me to hang out. But yeah,I let him encroach on my space. I let him in,that is why I am celebrating this small victory.
I was able to let someone new into my life and ready to become something more with him. Quote me well,the new friends I plan on making shall not be Issa and Matt's replacement. No,they shall be friends because I want to have them.
I stepped out of the bathtub after the water had cooled down and wasted no time doing the final touches of my morning routine. It doesn't matter what time I wake up. Anytime is morning routine time for me.
With barely any apparel on my body,I walk into my closet to pick out what to wear to this outing.
I select a few clothes and lay them on my bed. The next task is trying out, which is most appropriate for a surprise date.
I have a capsule closet,so you can guess how hard it is for me to dress casually without it looking like I will be reporting to work on a day off. I wonder what I was up to picking out all these clothes. They are mostly suits,khakis and black slacks with different coloured shirts,both long-sleeved short-sleeved.
I throw my hands up in the air,all so worked up by such a simple task as dressing appropriately. With a sigh, I let my body slump down in my bed. I never thought dressing up would be such a hard task.
After a few minutes of brainstorming on what to wear,I picked up my phone and called the only person I know that can save me from this mess.
"Hello Alya,how are you." I greet,switching the phone to video call.
"Hi Julian,you never call me on weekends. What happened?" She greets back. Of course, she had to let me know she observed. Ughhh, how do I start?
I clear my throat to keep away desperation and frustration from my voice
"Umm,I am going to hang out with this person I met sometime back. We plan on being friends, so we are going to hang out for the first time tonight." I try to explain hesitantly.
"And?"
"Well, you see,he told me to wear casually and do me. But the problem is I don't think I have any casual wear or attires that describe my personality. You know my sense of style is so lame."
"Oh! So you need advice from someone with a strong sense of fashion like me. Right?"
I know that she is trying to rub it in, but I can't say anything in objection. She is my way out,so I put my pride aside and let her take the lead.
She chose for me a pair of khaki pants and a burgundy short-sleeved shirt. She said she would also come with me to the mall tomorrow to pick out a few clothes if I am to start going out kn dates.
I told her it is called making new friends, but she only gave me a side glance and told me that I'm too naive. I wonder what that is supposed to mean, but I don't let my thoughts linger on that topic for so long.
By sunset,I was already prepared and on my way to the pin Adrien sent earlier today while I slept my ass off.
Arriving at the address didn't take me forever. It is just one of the newest buildings we have here in Portofino, and it's located in the heart of our small town.
Adrien told me to give him a call on my arrival. Before I even pulled out my phone to call him, a strange man approached me slowly. Like how predators approach their prey.
"Hello Mr Olivarez nice to meet you. I am Ishmael,here to lead you to my boss." He introduces himself. I try to figure out where I have felt this presence around him before, and it only leads me to Adrien and Azrael.
They could be relatives for all I care,they have eerie auras,one stronger than another, but it is enough to give you goosebumps.
"Alright, Ishmael,lead the way, please." I tell him.
He leads the way,with me only a few steps away from him. I noticed that the whole building has barely a soul in sight. I shake it off and proceed with the task at hand,mastering all the corridors we go through in case I need to run for my life.
He stops at a certain entrance and tells me to go ahead.