So the last week or so has been extremely crazy and actually somewhat of a therapeutic relief. I had been in contact with my husband's daughter's mother and we had found common ground and realized how much miscommunication there had been previously. After seeing that my in-laws had been weaponizing all of us and using their relationship with their granddaughter as a shield was slightly devastating and appalling. To use your own grandchild for a level of control over other people not realizing that you're hurting and harming so many in the process just to protect your ego.
And there were exchanges of words and a lengthy 45 minute phone call between my father-in-law my husband's child's mother and me. Say everything that was said would take forever but to sum it up they admitted that everything that I have said was true that I had gotten my husband on board to sign over his rights or to step up and they deterred him. That they also told us we were not at all allowed to have communication or nobody would get to see my stepdaughter. And that they have told my business publicly to people that don't even know me and take no responsibility for hurting me or even we're apologetic.
I was somewhat heartwormed by my step daughter's mother having my back and seeing how they treat me compared to how they treat her. And getting the confirmation that I wasn't delusional or losing my mind or victimizing myself and that everything that I was feeling and felt like I was experiencing was valid. Although no matter what my husband will stick up for his parents knowing that they behave in a different manner towards me when he is around compared to when he is not just taught me more about their character than it did mine. I was also informed that I am malicious, mean and vindictive and apparently going to play the bad guy or villain in their story.
Getting to see how upset my husband was that his wife and child's mother were finally getting along, able to sit down, have conversations prove to me that they tried their hardest to keep us separated and divided so that they had a level of control. He claims that it was because she's two-faced, that she's going to stab me in the back and that she never has good intentions; but she has been more kind and understanding towards me over the last 2 weeks then his entire family has been towards me our entire marriage. She had to step back and realize that I was still in the same shoes that she was in 8 years ago, she had a level of sympathy for me and what I was dealing with; but once she actually got to hear it herself over the phone she was appalled at the behavior and my ability to tolerate it for so long.
Though some part of me feels like yes she may eventually stab me in the back or that she's using me because I can sign for things and get things done on my husband's behalf. But then another part of me genuinely believes that she has good in her heart, good intentions and is somewhat understanding of the situation that I have been put in. I am not saying to trust easily but I am going to struggle to trust anyone at this point since I can't even trust my own husband but at the bare minimum I will give the opportunity for her to show me her true colors and if they do not match the intentions I believe she has then no damage done. The things she knows and that we've talked about I genuinely have no problem with them being known publicly or privately I just prefer people to have that conversation with me instead of behind my back.
Having a validation that everything that I had been trying to enforce and say to my husband that he refused to listen to or hear validated by his father and confirmed by his father gave me a sense of peace. No matter whether they tell the truth going forward or if his daughter's mom ever tells my husband about that conversation and how it happened I have peace. I had my experiences be confirmed and a level of understanding even if there wasn't any agreeance but it gave me peace to know that what I needed to say was said and was heard whether it was perceived or not. Now that I could walk away with a clear conscience knowing that I didn't deserve the things that were being done to me but that I wasn't crazy or victimizing myself into really thinking that everybody else is the bad guy and I just am being attacked for no justifiable reason. The truth will probably never come out because I'm sure my in-laws will never tell their son what they did, about that conversation and what was said, or that everything that I had been trying to get him to understand was correct. And I can accept that he will just always live in the dark not knowing but that is out of his own naive state of mind in which he is still just to hurt little boy looking to his parents for validation, acceptance, approval and guidance.
Now I know what I need to do but to find the strength is another big task. I was thrilled to get to watch my step daughter get to open her presents. She was so happy and excited. I felt pure joy to get to watch even over the Internet. It makes me feel better that although I intend on divorcing my husband that I will still be able to be a small part of my step daughter's life since I am also the mother of her siblings. So we shall see how this all plays out!