From the outset of our conversations, a natural rhythm developed, and
a symphony of messages that became a cherished part of my daily routine. Although you seldom inquired about me, I hesitated to share more without prompting. It wasn't a lack of willingness but my introverted nature and the fear of losing you, a thought that frequently interrupted our talks. I avoided flirting, cautious of the risks and out of respect for your feelings. Conversing with others is rare for me, but talking to you became a necessity.
Before reaching out, I'd craft a set of questions, battling nervousness.
Every evening, after completing my chores and having an early dinner, I eagerly prepared to message you around 8 pm. Your replies brought joy, and emojis from you made me smile repeatedly. However, a day without your reply left me with a tinge of sadness. Talking with you became a daily ritual, and your smile and laughter, even in text form, left a lasting impression.
It became a routine for me to anticipate your responses, and while the occasional silence was tolerable, I took comfort in glimpses of your online presence—sharing songs, liking posts. However, on days when your virtual activity was absent, a subtle unease crept in. Thoughts of what might be keeping you occupied, how you were spending your time, and a touch of concern would weave through my mind. The silence left me wondering about the unspoken moments and your well-being.
I must admit, my questions were often routine. It wasn't that I lacked curiosity but that I feared steering into unfamiliar territories and I never tried fictional impressions and lies cause I wanted to face the target with my own and I always believed in my own. I had a trove of unasked questions, but nervousness often held me back.
While I tried from probing deeper into our conversations, my friends found my texting style surprising, unaware of the depth of my feelings for you. Despite my friends suggestions to flirt and spice up our conversations, I resisted. You were more than a crush; you, to me, were the brightest star, a stroke of luck guided by a divine plan.
I was all perplexed what to do next but navigating through these conversations, a turning point arrived when I mustered the courage to express my feelings following friends suggestions. Your response, stating your disinterest due to past heartbreak, left me momentarily speechless. Yet, our conversations continued, guided by the understanding that the pace was yours to set.
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Attempts to initiate live conversations were thwarted by my own nervousness and occasionally by your friends. Live conversations for me were challenging, but one decisive day, determined to overcome my fears, I gathered the courage for a direct encounter. Waiting at the college gate in the early morning, followed for awhile and finally greeted you at the college corridor on the way to basketball court. It was brief but significant, breaking down my nervous barriers and granting me the gift of hearing your voice.
)
Our conversations, though regular, faced disruptions. However, they were always meaningful, and my desire to understand your thoughts and feelings grew. The gap between messages widened at times, but my motivation was unwavering. I offered support during exams, trying to ease the pressure and provide encouragement.
After exams, I anticipated a resurgence in our conversations, but it dwindled instead. While the frequency changed, my feelings for you remained constant. I understand that life can get busy, interests may shift, or perhaps boredom sets in. Whatever the reason, I respect your space and pace. I cherish our past conversations, finding solace in reliving them, even if the present messaging is less frequent.
In today's scenario, reaching out feels a bit awkward because I find myself contemplating what you might be thinking about me. Your opinion holds weight; if my messages are becoming a bore or annoyance, then perhaps there's no value in continuing them. Yet, despite this awareness, I can't resist. I may not be the most expressive, but the question of whether you're open to hearing from me lingers, and if you are, I'm determined to continue.
I acknowledge that our conversations have become less frequent lately. I find myself messaging every 4 or 5 days, sometimes met with silence that stretches our breaks. Daily texting feels impractical and even a tad disruptive, doesn't it?
Regardless of our current communication frequency, my admiration for you, my regard for you, remains unwavering. Talking with you, whenever it happens, is magical. In those moments, thoughts of you consume me, and I find myself smiling like a mad person alone in my room. You've played a significant role in infusing my life with joy, and for that, I'm sincerely thankful. No matter what unfolds, my feelings for you remain constant and unaltered.
It's not easy not knowing your thoughts about me. Maybe you think I've forgotten you, but the truth is, not a day passes without missing you. You've added meaning to my life, and for that, I'm eternally grateful.