I.
I've tried multiple times to initiate live conversations with you, often battling my own shyness and occasionally being deterred by the presence of your friends in a group. Each time, my introverted nature made it challenging, but there were my friends who always encouraged me to push through the hesitation. Strangely, when I get close to you, I feel a sort of vibration, my heart racing. It might sound unusual, but I often jot down notes on what I intend to talk to you because of the fear of a conversation coming to a halt due to a lack of topics.
Many times, I've come to college with the sole purpose of talking to you. I've observed you in various spots, especially in the garden or around the college courtyard, where you and your friends would gather beneath the sunlight during winter. In the summer, I noticed you'd promptly head home after classes, making those winter moments particularly special.
Admittingly, I've spent a considerable amount of time searching for you and simply observing. There were instances when I arrived at college hours before my classes just to catch a glimpse of you, hoping to make my day more meaningful.
Eventually, there came a day when I mustered the courage to confront my fears. I made a promise to myself that it was the day for a direct talk—do or die. Waiting at the college gate, I saw you arriving, and I began moving alongside you. In the corridor leading to the basketball court, I finally greeted you with a simple "Hello," and you turned your head, our eyes meeting for about 5 seconds. Despite having a list of questions prepared, our conversation was cut short as you were running late for a practical. When I recall your first look as you turned back; it's still an image etched in my memory. Nevertheless, facing you in person was a significant achievement, breaking down some of my nervous barriers and granting me the blessing of hearing your voice.
Although it seemed like an accidental encounter, the reality was different—it was orchestrated after careful planning. I apologize for the inconvenience I have caused that day as you mentioned me later being scared by my call from the back. The night of our very first meet, something magical happened—I dreamt of you for the first time.
II.
The next was the longest one so far cause it lasted for more than a minute on the way to bus stop.
During the last day of your exams, I made an attempt to approach you. This was after trying during the second-to-last exam, but that encounter didn't unfold as planned. However, on the final day, fate intervened. This time, you weren't wearing a mask, and I could finally see your face clearly after a long time. I called you by your name from the back in the crowded corridor on the way to bus stop and you were all smiled and replied well.
I asked you about your exams, and you responded with a beautiful smile. Surprisingly, I felt less nervous compared to my previous attempts, although, once again, things didn't go as planned. It seems life has a way of surprising me.
We had a brief conversation, and it brought me immense joy. Later, we found ourselves searching for transportation home, and since I was also heading to my friend's house, we boarded the same micro from RNAC to Kritipur. As the vehicle arrived, you took a seat in the women's section, and I went to the back, expressing my destination. Despite my hope for a conversation during the journey, we ended up sitting apart. While it didn't happen as I expected, I'm grateful for the opportunity to share a part of our journey, even if it was just those 45 minutes in the same vehicle. For a moment, I realized that my happiness was right in front of me, and I was momentarily lost in thought. I couldn't take my eyes off you; everything that occurred inside that vehicle, whether you were trying to sleep or occasionally resting your hands near the door, remains vividly memorable. Despite not seeing your face from the back, I imagined your reactions throughout the journey, which brought a smile to my face repeatedly. Additionally, the distractions we endured due to the conflicts between the traffic and vehicle staff are still fresh in my memory. I cherish that day as the best ever, and I want to express my gratitude to both fate and you for making it memorable.