"Er... I was pondering over what little Mordred said before their departure..." Martha spoke out calmly, with grace that wouldn't exist if Nicholas was around, as she walked behind her Chaldea's 48th Master, "I think that happening is a possibility too great to ignore."
Gudako flatly glanced back at her before returning her gaze to their surroundings, "So you're back to that persona?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"Miss Martha..." Mash ignored the sudden change in demeanour entirely and regarded the Saint with the same politeness she always did,
"I think it'll be fine... Nicholas-senpai isn't that irrespons-..."
She ended up cutting herself off and looking to the side in defeat.
"He'll totally do it... Well, that's if he doesn't end up punching whoever's causing this singularity." Gudako was unamused with the discussion, "Let's just head to a city or town for now. We should be able to get something about what's wrong this time... If it's anything like last time, I doubt it'll be hard."
"Good plan, young Gudako." Doctor Romani praised her over comms, the comms that conveniently only worked when around Mash for some reason.
Gudako held up a clenched fist, lips pursed, before she sighed in defeat and lowered it, "...I'm not going to bother... Fine, Gudako it is."
She finally surrendered... and in doing so, took the first step to becoming what Nicholas was trying to avoid with all the genius his two brain cells allowed him.
The teenager's attention was drawn to a silent, shocked Martha who was looking at her like she'd grown a second head, "What?"
"N-Nothing... I simply wasn't expecting an actual plan even if it is rudimentary and based on common sense... Don't know why but I was expecting 'Let's go bash their heads in!' or something..." Martha fumbled with her hands, avoiding the ginger's gaze with red cheeks.
Gudako deadpanned at her, even more unamused than before if that was possible, "That's cause your Master's a complete dumbass."
"...No, he isn't! I won't let you insul-..."
"No wait... my bad." Gudako scratched the back of her head, lowering her gaze, "You're both dumbasses. All he summons is dumbasses, it's like the FATE system thinks that somehow putting all of you together is gonna increase your shared brain capacity and amount to something other than a gathering of ooga booga cavemen that jump up and down excitedly when they see fire."
Gudako mercilessly ripped into the embarrassed and stumped Saint, annoyed with all the shit all of them had put her through since day one, "You know, someone I admired called me a very accepting person and you all make me sincerely doubt that compliment. It's like all of you were born with either one less or one extra chromosome and somehow think that banding together will complete the sets..."
Her being nonchalant as she spoke somehow served to make her words hit all that harder.
"Spoiler, it won't."
"...S-Senpai, calm down for now... Please?" Mash disarmingly held up her hands, looking between her Master and a hero of legend too stumped to even speak... Martha's mouth was opening and closing, sure, but no words were actually coming out.
Gudako turned to Mash in confusion, "I am calm, Mash."
"So they finally made you snap too, huh?" This time, Yu spoke over the comms, her voice bland and monotone like it was most of the time, "I seriously get you, kouhai. You're not in the wrong... These assholes deserve every word... They've made even getting a proper nap a distant dream for me with their constant yapping and fighting. Every time I ask him about it, he just says, 'You don't talk about fight club'... What the fuck does that even mean?"
""...""
The only other Master Chaldea had, decided to stay back at home base until she could acquire a proper servant and it wasn't too much of a problem seeing as they could just yeet her over when the need arose... it's not like they'd get the calculations wrong with operatives already on ground.
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Meanwhile, the person that was technically the cause behind the verbal slaughter of a dragon vanquishing saint was casually walking through a forest, carefree and curious about a war that lasted for a hundred years and saw five different generations of kings wage war.
"The year's 1431, that means the French already got rail-..."
Nicholas stopped himself, the French won the war... he had no right to consider them bitches even if the rest of the world did for a reason he still didn't really get.
"It's 1431? Ah, so we'll miss my nation's great victory against the English people?" Marie spoke out with shining eyes, "But it's alright, I couldn't bear to see so many people die like that."
Nicholas deadpanned at her, "So you gonna act like Agincourt and Calais just didn't happen like 15 sum years ago? I see how it is."
"...Agincourt?" The French monarch paused.
"Yeah, Agincourt, King Henry V... One of the baddest mofos to live and breathe on God's green Earth." Nicholas explained further, finally putting that random bit of knowledge you learn and then put at the back of your head for absolutely no reason, "You know, the guy that railed the French 1-3?"
It was at this moment that one of the few people Nicholas looked up to chimed in, "And are you just going to conveniently not talk about how he died to a bad stomach?"
Nicholas recoiled and muttered, "Traitor."
King Henry V had lost his life to dysentery in 1422.
"He was a greater man than you'll ever be. Gah, if only history fucked up back at Agincourt or sum."
"Of that, I have no doubt... Few men can match certain kings of old in terms of manliness."
"Er... what are you two talking about?" Marie asked innocently, poking Nicholas' cheek to get his attention again, "What is 'manliness', Nick? And also... What is 'uwu'? I think I quite lik-"
Nicholas shamelessly struck a monarch on her head, forcing the girl to duck and clutch her head in pain, whimpering, "It hurts! W-Why would you d-do that, Nick?!"
"Only my Ma calls me Nick, even the backalley Saint don't do it... and don't you ever fucking saying that word again... I'll kill myself if you do."
"A-Alright... I won't do it again." Marie relented fairly quickly, not used to being struck out of nowhere for random reasons, "But why can't I call you Nick? I-It sounds so cute."
The monarch shuddered when Nicholas raised his fist again and that... well it made him decide to just not hit her...
It made him feel like a fat, ugly, bitch bully.
"Sorry, just don't say u-... just don't say it again... and fine, you can call me Nick."
Even he who fist- *ehem* punched everything relented to the idol monarch's cuteness.
"Yay! And don't worrry, I forgive you."
Mozart just watched their interaction with an amused smile, "It's nice to see you two bicker like children... This is what you should've had, Marie... your time was wrong."
"Screw you."
"I'm not a kid!"
Their little 'discussion' was interrupted by a mighty roar that shook the lands and made the trees shudder… An obsidian beast of epic magnitude passed overhead, casting a shadow that seemed to envelop the whole forest.
"...I want that."
"Another dragon?!"
"It seems it's just passing by... Wait, Nicholas, no..." Mozart turned to a Nicholas who was getting ready to jump with worried eyes, "Whatever you're thinking, no."
"Yes."
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Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
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You can find up to 9 chapters ahead at patre0n.com/Bleap