Who spoke just now?
"Who else could it be my dearest mom....?"
I felt the cold touch of ethereal small hands covering my eyes. They were translucent and I could see through them, I definitely felt creeped out first. I jumped away and turned to face the owner.
I did recognise the soft honey-like voice but how could it be?
My heart palpitated as I stared at a young child of 8 years. She had long locks of golden hair like mine but her amethyst eyes distinguished from mine.
She had a bright smile on her face and her translucent delicate face similar to mine yet so different, she looked so mature and tough for her age. She was still wearing that dress she had worn on that day, the white dull gown.
My eyes instantly gushed and my arms gripped tightly around the frail body of hers. I couldn't really feel the warmth from her that I usually did but I didn't care. I was afraid she would disappear if I let go.
She felt so cold, she didn't feel like a real person either, I could feel her at the same time I couldn't really touch her physically. An odd feeling to describe, she felt so surreal. But I couldn't care more, I only helplessly muttered Nuria.
Her cold hands tried to soothe me while she nuzzled at me. Perhaps this is the afterlife or maybe even hell. I know I don't deserve heaven.
"Oh don't say such things"
Huh!
"How?.... If this is not afterlife then what could it possibly be?"
"Mother, you have gone back in time"
"What?"
"You have gone back in time mother"
"No, I mean, but how?"
"You weren't called the heaven's blessed child for no reason"
"But I lost my holy powers after I gave birth to you"
"Oh you did. But the god wants you to repent, this is your punishment, to relive your life but change your future. He still believes you can change and I believe you don't need to completely change except to gain moral values."
"Hahaha... oh my, sweetie, how I have missed your sharp tongue."
"I am sure you have, after all I was the only one to humble you with the rudest of my words after father that is."
"Do you hate me Nuri?"
"I don't, you know that as well, I love you more than anything this world could have. But that doesn't mean I have to accept your immoral or irrational deeds dear mother"
"I suppose you're right, but I still can't come to terms with what you said, you say I have regressed?"
"Precisely"
"But what about you?"
"Ohh me? Hehe, I have become a wandering soul or should I say a ghost that's destined to haunt you mom. Isn't it cool?"
"Ugh what? Be clear Nuri"
"It's what I said, I don't have a body I can possess so I can only exist here like this. There will be times when I have to return to heaven though"
"A body? Oh but that..." A deep flush covered my face and suddenly I felt distressed again.
"What's wrong?"
"Honey you may not receive your body this time, are you okay with that?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Your father, you know how I conceived you right?"
"Oh, don't worry I don't need my body. As for you mom and dad, I am willing to wait for a lifetime. No pressure."
"But how could I possibly dare want that? I don't deserve him, Nuria, I truly don't."
"Then make yourself worthy mom, like god said, this is your second chance"
"You don't understand, I-I, he is someone I can never have. He may not have his memories and I don't want him to forgive me like that. I know what I have done, I will drown in guilt"
"Mom, it's alright, I know you need time, I am not telling you to do anything if it's not your will"
"But you-"
"Mom, like I said, I don't require my body and honestly I wish to stay like this as well"
A sad smile formed on her face, she wasn't kidding. I realise how much I had hurt her during my past life. I loved her but at the same time I was draining her liveliness out because of how needy I got. She had to mature way before age so that she could take care of me.
Ugh, what a horrible mother I have been!?
"Don't say that mom, the way I am, is all because of you. True there were times you were in the wrong but you have never treated me bad mother. I love you for how you have raised me, you changed things for me"
I teared up, and my daughter slowly wiped my tears. She smiled as she planted a kiss on my forehead. Truly I would have gone insane if not for her.
My warmth, my only beloved daughter.
Her eyes seemed to be getting red as well, I enveloped her in my embrace and comforted her. She instantly started bawling and gripping on my clothes. She was a child after all.
"I have been thinking this for a while but can you look through my thoughts"
"Umm yes"
"Seriously! is there a way for you to not?"
"Even if there is such a way I would not tell you. At least not now"
"Why would you say that?"
"Mom, I know that the only thing you wish for now is death!"
She knows my suicidal tendencies.
Can anything be more horrid than this!?
I wish for her to not see this side of mine, even now I would only depend on her. I don't want to.
"Mom, I have always liked it when you share your burdens with me. Please don't think such things"
"Nuri, can't I just become like you?"
"I am afraid that cannot happen"
Why am I forced to live? I am still selfish enough to want a peaceful quiet and possibly be in some garden to see Nuria smiling and playing with me. I feel so tired. Everything seems so troublesome except for her of course.
"Mom, let's go to the countryside then"
Ah, that's a nice idea. But what about my family?
"Oh, it seems my time is up for now!"
"What?"
"Mom, I can't always stay with you. There are limited moments that I can stay with you. Don't worry in desperate times I will appear."
"No wait, I still have to say that-"
Her translucent figure slowly faded away with the wind and she still had a smile on her face. There were only lingering sparkles left to even give proof of her being here.
"I am sorry for what I have done"
It was already dawn as I heard the birds chirping softly near my balcony. Out of nowhere I immediately felt sleepy, I guess I was tired with how stressful things just got. I slammed on the bed and shut my eyes, I had already sunk in my comforting darkness.
******
In some realm not of the mortal world, sat a young child on a swing. She swayed back and forth slowly in a lovely field of lavenders. She seemed to be the only soul in this beautiful yet eerie silence.
Bright blonde hair resembling the warm sun and soothing lavender like eyes complimented her eternal youthful beauty.
Finally, another being seems to come forward to form a ripple in this peaceful serenity. He had a dark veil on his face that nearly covered his entire body.
It became nearly impossible to discern the features of the person. He came forward and sat on a rock in front of Nuria who was still calmly swinging showing no signs of being disturbed.
"So you have finally resorted to this huh?"
She glared at him without saying a word. He chuckled and spoke again.
"You have finally become selfish enough to burden her with her past memories as well as revealing your existence. So that she can't easily summon her death, she will remember you at each step"
She still didn't say a word.
"I seriously wonder what you see in that woman, why are you so fixated on her? I can easily make you reborn as another person's offspring, my blessed child."
"It can only be her, she is my mother"
"Why her?? She is nothing but a pretty person, her personality isn't nice either"
"You don't see that her real beauty is not only her appearance but her inner self. Besides her not nice personality is what makes her shine so bright, even though she is such a calculating and manipulative person, she has given me unconditional love.
She always has a way to gleam even though she was shrouded in darkness, in that deep onyx I believe a sparkle of light still exists."
"So you're being biassed, only because she gave you special treatment?"
"That's what makes her extraordinary, even though she can have quite the hostile personality, she still had such soft and pure love for me. That never broke even when she was hurt or herself broken.
Not many people are as tough as her, they would have either portrayed their anger as a hate towards me or be manipulative"
"Truly your thinking baffles me sometimes"
"I am your creation in the end"
"Hah! And not even I am able to understand you at times, but I can see why you're so attached to her."
"Why did you make that idiot her soul mate!?"
"Hmm... it's the way of heart I believe"
"My foot, that stupid idiot, has such a clueless head. Always doing stupid things, hurting her so."
"Hmm... I wonder if that will change this time."
"Oh I will force him if I have to. Bull head has to open his eyes wide and see the world"
"Like what you did with Erendis?"
"Probably even worse"
"Haha, lets see how Erendis does this time. Did you prepare for it?"
"Why do you think I have been waiting all this time?"
Her eyes looked menacing while she looked somewhere not in particular thinking of memories that she rather have ripped off her mind. This time she was prepared and she won't lose, a new found determination and conviction was awaiting ahead of her.
'She doesn't even know they are soul mates. Oblivious mother, how I wish this would be the last time. I can never accept someone other than you, my one and only mother. I hope that small sparkle can burst into raging fireworks'
***********