~ ANAMAY ~
The first pray was answered, the plane landed a little rough shaking me out of this terrible position. I pretended to be overly shaken by it so I could stretch out my sore joints. But that's a short lived as Grandma hurried to me immediately, grabbing my hand. At this moment, you would presume she would ask about me but what I heard was
"Oh My dear lord, is the dress alright." She gave me a left and right turn. And then breathed in relief.
"Be more careful child. This dress can buy your entire generation. Do not ruin it before you are worth it."
"I am sorry, Grandmother."
She gave me a stink eye and then looked away. I muttered under my breath. "May your body and soul burn in hell. And your spirit reincarnate as a cockroach so I can squash your head every day."
The butler/chauffeur/pilot/ secret service agent opened the Private jet's door. He stepped in and gave me a hand to her out of the plane.
My heels were so pointed and tall I did everything to stand on my feet because I was probably going to break some bones if I feel off this shoe. The multi-purpose man made sure I got down the stairs without any bad news.
I thanked him silently. He gave me a gentle smile and then hid it away. I felt a unique shade of calmness.
My helper no.2 was still loyal Oh, and here comes helper no.1.
Hand maid to the queen herself, lady Langurie. She was an orphan, the king raised her to be loyal to his woman. She had been helping me secretly since she was asked to look after me for a day when I was six.
I saw her now, in her gorgeous gothic designers. She gave me the eyes smile. Her 'Are you holding up' gesture. I do not reply meaning I was really out of all sorts today. She quickly made a move, inciting grandma to allow her Chauffeur me around the ball room before the dance started.
She made emphasis on the 'Meet some of the king's men.' Grandma gleamed and granted me my freedom with immediate effect. I was led by the hand, lady Langurie or to me, Midaya; walking beside me.
Immediately we were out of sight, she pulled me out of the crowd, up the stairs and into a room in the house. She locked it behind us immediately. I was out of breath now.
"Have you eaten?", she said in between pants.
"No, I am… wearing a dress… I can not… have a big… tummy ."
Midaya laughed impulsively. I rushed and covered her mouth, she would give us away with that her untamed voice. We disengage soon after.
"I am sorry my dear but look at your stomach. Last time we measured twenty Inches." I looked at her, surprised as I found my ass setting itself on the bed in the room. I was also a student in America so I understood what that meant.
"Where is the food", I said next. She began to giggle but softly, going over the drawer in the room. She opened it and took out cheese, white bread, chocolate and salad. We ate the whole thing and then sat on the bed in silence.
We only meet face to face three times a year at most and whenever we do, we try to capture the memories we share and trap them in our minds to be the light we look upon and survive until we see again to make a new one. Do not worry about the time, Midaya was a walking alarm clock. If it was time to go, she would know.
We stayed like that for a whole hour. Absolute silence eroding us. If you took a picture, we would be like two sisters in a painting of grotesque; the gothic drowning the space in our thoughts and the moon light into the room like an unloving color. But as it were in all the fifteen years of my life I took part in this ritual, Midaya gave me a gentle tap and whispered;
"My Lady Ana Arias, please let us go down to the mall."
Tears covered my eyes, I slapped them back before that ruined the makeup I worked so hard to keep intact. Lady Langurie stood and gave me a hand. With it as support, I put on my mighty heels and we went to the ball room.
On our way, I whispered; "Will he come."
Lady Langurie did not give me any gestures which meant she did not know. From the warm stairway of the English Manor my body chilled, my feet iced. His seductive words played a clear recording in my ear.
*When that day comes, I will come find you*
Now, I wanted to just die. My eyes measured the flight of the stairs and I began to contemplate on tripping over. It sounded so juicy a thought that my leg actually attempted a wobble but theses sweethearts that send you to hell claiming to have saved you from killing yourself; caught me.
"My lady, be careful." I straightened with the insidious help of his useless disgrace of an arm.
I gave him a disguised murderous smile. He returned it with his brown teeth. We separated and I continued to follow lady Langurie down to the floor.
Immediately my presence was known men grinned and women murmured. Grandmother may not have succeeded to tape me to an heir of the throne but she was victorious in making me 'The Doll Of The House Of Arias.'
To dance with me was impossible so when the orchestra was ready for us, men on the left and women on the right.
The musical warming up our groping hearts with the tube of a solo piano; I was in the middle awaiting the one that could Waltz the best and find his way into my circle and dance with me.
The violin joined and a brass plate; the music has begun. The floor was spaciously occupied immediately. The men spinning their ladies and deviously making a switch to get an inch closer it me. Like I was Africa and they were Portugal, France and Britain.
I watched with insomniac eyes and insouciance desire. It was a one-hour dance. In the fortieth minute, two young men in plain trousers, white shirts and tight vests worn inside a fork coat. Shoes polished to reflect my caked face; squeaking on the floor in the scrambled for me.
The smaller man by the left won. His fingers pressed on mine and at once I was in formation, the music changed and only the two of us in the middle.
You would expect the advanced version of the Famous 'One, two, three' dance but I was making swing dance twirl and pauses the next moment. The only thing that made it seem to be a vigorous Tango than the barbaric motion I mentioned now was that he did not throw me over his head.
The instruments hypnotized by his tapping feet, that played in exact accordance to it and when the song ended with a halt from all things sound making, except our beating hearts, my precious hair had been victimized by the evil of scatter and Grandmother could speak no more as it was irreparable at this moment.
Applause poured out and fell upon us. I was smiling and the man… I could not tell for his face was behind a mask, as it should be in a quest to win the lady.
Music returned a moment after, others preparing to dance again with a partner. It was chance for they were all distracted. The masked man grabbed me, we ran into the crowd and gave grandmother a slip because of it.
He knew the Manor well, it showed because we were outside the main hall and into an adjacent palace. A place for occasions like the one we had left. Now that we were in here and up the stairs into a room hidden behind the stage of the orchestra.
You might by now be wondering why I followed without reluctance. That's because he was helper ultimate; Prince Orlandis. His stature and the scent of damp rose that only he in all the world has. I was beaming from ear to ear now.
"Orlandis thank you so much, I thought I was going to lose it back there. Once again, you have saved my life. How ever, will I repay you."
I made a little turn and threw my self gently on the bed like a damsel in distress.
"You look different." He said it quietly.
"I know, the scariest thing is I have no idea how. On just few months, I turned in to someone else. Especially the hair." I gave it a raise, wiggle and the let it fall back as a lose strand. My voice was clear, my depression no where near. I was speaking as if my life had all smiles since I began this journey of miles.
"No, it's still you. The upgrade is impressive though, I had something in mind today. A game but now I have seen you…" his back was turned to me. He spoke like a lord of the Manor by the Irish sea and not a childlike he used to do. I did not see it as a cause of alarm. But I should have.
"I do not want my jokes anymore. I want…", his fingers rose to the rope around his head. He gave it a clip and the mask fell of his face, making a thud sound on the ground. His whole body turned and I saw his face.
"Boo."
I sprang off the bed and ran, he grabbed me, effortlessly throwing me back on the bed. I crashed with my head hitting the bed stand. My vision dazed, my nerves disobeyed. I tried to roll off instead but I was stuck.
I had seen his blind eyes and now I was powerless. He crawled into the bed, the curtains fell and lightly concealed us. I did not care to think how he could make this happen without touching any of them. I only cared to save my own life.
"Lugerd please, I beg you please, do not touch me. Please." As usual, my please were like sign language; he could not hear a sound. I continued to plead none the less.
His fingers lift off the bed and caressed my strands of hair. It was the way he tenderly treated me even when he knew he was the devil, that was the scariest.
My eyes weld up tears immediately and I let them ooze out.
He leaned over.
"Please!!!!" I screamed, my cheeks turned to him. He kissed them in the mist of my yell. It broke my voice. I tried to plead again but when I opened my mouth, no words came. I was mute.
With his hand, he turned my face over, his blues digging into my black eyes. Gently, he wiped the tear drops off my face.
"Why are you so afraid. Did you not yearn for help on the plane? Do you not desire to feel free? To feel happy? I have the only solution. Anamay let me make you happy."
That was what I was afraid of. I knew he did not have my goodness at heart but he said the words my aching heart yearned for every day.
He made me feel intoxicated and I knew he was an addictive. I was not scared of him but scared of myself. Scared that I would give in to him, lose control to him and drown in this pleasure he sought to give me.
I knew I would become a pitiful woman; neither his bride, nor maid. Not wife, completely out of his life… I would be but a plaything of no human essence except that I could breath.
It was like he could hear my thoughts because he whispered into my ears; "Let me in my Lady. I want to make you breathe again."
I felt cold shiver curl down to the soles of my feet, all my pain before my very eyes. Fifteen years and more was to come. Tears trickled.
'I want to breathe again'
He won and on my lips he stole his reward. The paralysis gone and my voice returned but I did not fight his ravaging lips as they torn down into my dress and his hands underneath my skirt.
'I will not respond but I would let it be'
And my eyes began to close that's when I saw her. Broken wings and a bleeding heart. Her white dress torn apart and soaked in red. She wore a frown and she looked at me with nothing be a desire to seize it's respire.
I gasped, numb to the touches were pulling down what clothed my innocence. She did not speak. I was too frightened to. We spoke with our hearts instead.
*This is not freedom. You know it.* she said with her eyes.
'There's nothing else close. I have to have this.' The beats in my chest told her.
*I have your freedom just Let me in.*
I opened my mouth to moan at the bite on my breast. Actually, I needed that. It made me realize, I would gain nothing but pain. I exhaled and closed my eyes.
'Come in.'