It'd be better if I chose the strawberry-scented bath.
I sighed, popping some of the bubbles coming my way until my sight went to the moon, and my eyes began to wonder what life would have been if I had taken a different approach to that night.
February 10, 2018
"Look, Jasmine! Isn't the moon cool?" His voice was so sweet and velvety that I couldn't help but smile at him. He had this magnificent aura that I felt like I couldn't get enough of.
His majestic and yet clumsy way of pointing to the moon, his disheveled and yet blazing golden sun's hair that had been kissed by the silver rays, everything about him made my heart feel like this moment was unreal.
His every giggle, every action, every smile, every gaze, felt like my world had been spinning only for him, and in that moment I couldn't regret being with him, saying that three-letter word and imagining a future with a young man named Lucas
"Besides, one day, if I ever wanted to have a family, it could only be you, Jasmine, and no one else," when he said those words, I gasped.
He knelt in front of me, held both of my hands, put on that sweetest smile that I couldn't even erase from my mind, and looked into my soul as if looking into the far future where we are the only two people left in this world.
"Jasmine, this might sound cheesy to you, and you know me well, I might not have been a person who would always prepare surprises for you, but right here, and right now, will you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me?"
I never thought that he would be able to propose, that he would make it into the simplest form possible and I couldn't even reject him when he was the one who showed me what it felt like to have a family I could dream of.
"Yes, Lucas!" He became my fiance at that moment, but because I prefer him to be my boyfriend still, he agreed to be called one.
Under the silhouette of the full moon, within the Rose Garden in Masamoto Bay, large view of an ocean-like bay, I said yes to the man whom I thought would be there for the rest of my life.
At present.
"But I never thought that his words would only get carried by the wind," I didn't even realize that I'd whispered those words while looking at how dull my reflection was on the water.
"Such a wishful thinking..."
Gathering my thoughts, I never slipped into the moment's past anymore, not when I knew this time would come.
"Anne, get me my usual dress," I said.
Anne nodded. I saw her a little confused but she never bothered to question. I secretly smiled and put on the robe.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I saw a very different person. It felt like she wasn't me at all.
No, it felt as if I was no longer the person I was five years ago.
"Five years ago, you're broken, and five years later, you've been reborn to Scarlett Velmont..." From the mirror, I saw a woman, who was capable of destroying someone's dream, a woman who would do everything to avenge her broken heart, and a woman who had longed to escape from the grip of that terrifying night.
She had this almond hair that sparkled like a raven when bathed in purplish lights, a length that goes beyond her shoulders. She also had almond cat eyes that spoke of elegance and superiority, and lips that could never be denied to kiss in every way.
Compared to the past, this appearance is alluring, a very different appearance from that naive, innocent, weak young woman I was.
Now that she's dead, there's no room for claiming trash that threw her away.
"Here's you're dress, Madam Scarlett," Anne said and I instructed her to put it on the side.
She nodded and I dismissed her earlier on.
I put on the fabric and it hugged every piece of my body, a red one just like the color of blood, so red that I could see how the blood invaded my sight.
Shaking my head, I chuckle.
This mustn't be the time that I have to think about those thoughts.
Then I proceeded.
"Where is that man?" I asked Anne.
"He's in the lobby, Madam Scarlett"
"Good, you should stay put in a place that should never be found, Anne. I have a task for you"
"Yes, Madam Scarlett..."
***
As soon as I descended on the living room of my house, I immediately saw his back, a stern-looking back, broad and confident in anyways, that would always make my heart thump.
But right now, it's just as cold as the chilly night breeze.
I sat on the sofa while I continued to look at his back. That's when I realized, he had been looking at the sunset I've bought hanging on the wall above the fireplace.
Various thoughts came to mind at once, but what stood out the most was his gaze at it. There's a sense of longing I felt as if he had been yearning for someone but that someone had already been gone a long time.
"You must be very familiar with Christie's Art," I asked.
He turned, startled and smiled.
"I wasn't even aware that you're already here, Lady Scarlett, pardon the intrusion for looking at the painting," he said and I just nodded with a smile.
"Have a seat..."
He nodded as well. I saw him fiddling with his hands, and bite his lower lips then scratching the back of his head before saying the answers to my question earlier.
"Lady Christie is an artist that I looked up to," he said never giving up his habit of smiling while scratching the back of his head.
But how could I ever forget that, Lucas? You were the one who introduced Christie to me, her works speak the vibrancy of tomorrow.
She's the artist that you have long admired, and couldn't stop talking about how you wanted to see the Cordial's Golden Sun.
You even said to me that you would want to buy it or even take whatever it means just to see it in person because the person who has bought it is a billionaire in the auction.
"Does it appeal to you?" I asked observing his every action and that's when I saw him widen his eyes and laugh.
"Are you kidding me? She's the very first person that I admired because of her emotions in all her artworks. The one that I wanted to have has already been bought but still, I wanted to see her in person someday and....oh sorry, when it comes to the topic of great artists I usually get carried away," he laughed it off again.
But I could see how his eyes shone for that moment like the past. Whenever he would talk about Christie's arts, he would dream something and say those words to me openly and I would chuckle and support his ideas.
That goes on and on until...I guess people still have something within them that never changed.
"Good thing, because I am also a fan," I laughed it off and encouraged him to say more. As he got the idea, he spoke of all her works including The Siren's Song, The Lily in the Garden, The Oceanic Sapphire, and many more.
He even illustrated them with different gestures and I could normally chuckle and nod, say some words that he would laugh at, and everything about that moment, he must have already forgotten to ask me his real objective.
Right at that moment, it felt like I'd gotten back to the past that could never be mended. I was willing to forget all he did that night, just to let him explain everything, but it turned out that he had been gone from the apartment that I knew he cherished a lot.
We had a lot of unforgettable memories there, but in the blink of an eye, it's as if I never existed in his sight.
"Why..."
"Did you ask something?" I was startled that my thoughts came to ask a question when in reality I shouldn't have collided those two.
I smiled shaking my head and leaning over the table in between us.
"Why did you like her out of every great artist in the world except for what you had said earlier..." I asked diverting his attention and now he's currently looking at me straight in the eyes.
For a moment, I saw how genuine his smile was when he looked at his hands.
"It's because she made me believe that there are still hope in every dark places in the world, and the Cordial Golden Sun that she painted was the first sight that I got to see from my whole life that resonated with my inner self..."
My widened eyes reflected on the table. I managed to fake a cough but when I looked at him, he's still in that memory of the past that he never talked about.
But yes, indeed, I felt like he was exactly the sun and his personality resonated with it, but too much touch of it would eventually burn the surroundings like how he did to me.
How could he even smile like that when he left me?
How could he even live his life like nothing had ever happened?
How could he move on, when he found out that I was dead? That I was dead?"
"Well, since you loved her so much, I have some presents for you," I said and handed him two tickets.
"You can see Christie's Art in her exhibition," I said and he was so happy that he claimed it but midway he widened his eyes.
"S-Sophia couldn't even m-make it, Lady Scarlett"
"Oh, why is that?"
"She has a filming conference and I would be there for her"
"Too bad, since you know, this is the only time she would be around Tokyo before she could finally retire..." I said and I knew that painful gaze, the same gaze he had when he knew that the sun painting had already been sold.
"By the way, you're always free to come here whenever you like, besides, don't you say you liked this painting?" I changed my mind to give it to him for Sophia to doubt.
Instead, I want to lure him into my household.
I heard him sigh and took the ticket.
"But I guess I'm alone, so——"
"You don't need to be, you could ask me"
I saw how his eyes widened but the corners of his lips never stopped lifting
"B-But Raven might be—"
"Oh, he would understand since I also wanted to be friends with you, especially since you're his childhood friend's fiance, right?"
It didn't take any time for him to accept and chuckle as if he had no other plans than to meet his dearest artist.
In the meantime, I knew what Raven had already in mind.
"I almost forgot, Lady Scarlett. Do you perhaps know someone named Jasmine Rose?"