I need to get my mind off of this stress that has been slowly eating me up for some days now.
"Go on, I'll be fine." I say, coaxing Lynn to leave for a party her friend is throwing at their place. "Are you sure mom? I could stay with you, I really don't mind." She replies, worry staining her pretty face. My heart breaks. Being the reason for my daughter's is the last thing on my to do list.
"You know what, I'll also leave the house today. I'll go out somewhere to get some air." I say, meaning it. I do need the outside air. I've been cooped up in this house for almost a week now. "You promise?" She asks, acting all cute. "Yes, I promise cream pie." I confirm pinching her cheeks. She kisses my cheek, grabs her clutch bag and car keys and catwalk out.
I place the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, head upstairs and take a soak.
I lather on makeup, putting my heart into it for two reasons. To hide away the dark circles around my eyes and to look glamorous. I also take my precious time picking out an outfit.
I head to the mall first. Heads do turn when I arrive, a refreshing reaction from the public. If only they knew how much confidence their glances are giving me. I have been inside,away from the sunlight I was starting to worry that i look like three years have been added to my age. But their reaction gives me assurance that that's not the case.
I take a sit on my usual couch and Melo, my usual attendant, rushes through holding a tray of champagne as soon as I take a sit.
An array of clothes are wheeled in and displayed before me. I sip on my bubbles, running my eyes over the racks, unable to find anything that interests me. I end up picking a strapless black short dress, just because I couldn't leave empty handed after all this treatment.
I go around to the palour, got a massage, headed to the bar and spent the rest of my day there. All the things that used to hype me up didn't interest me at all today. I dragged myself through the day for the sake of k eeping the promise I made to Lynn this morning.
I call a chauffeur and head home. The fever still hasn't let up but I've been ignoring it the whole day. I throw myself on the bed and give in to it. It comes in like a hot wave, drowning me in it's heat. It all feels like it's getting back at me for ignoring it the whole day.
I force myself to sleep, not having anything in me to take a shower to cool down or wash off the make-up.
"Ocean!!" I scream at a little red head running away from me. I try to run after her but she's too fast for me. "Darling, please come back." I scream after her, I tumble to the grass carpeted ground and break down in tears. 'My precious.' I fall into hysteria.
My pillow is wet when I wake up. Tears are still sliding down my cheeks as I'm silently crying.
Memories of the girl from the party stream into my head. I wonder if she is in any way related to my dream.
I drag my shaky legs out the bed and robot walk to the shower. I haven't even checked if Lynn came in last night. This whole witch fever thing is making me a bad mother.
I shower, get dressed and head downstairs. "Morning mom. How are you feeling." Lynn shouts over the noise of the blender. She has prepared breakfast, a rare occurrence. "Morning cream pie, I'm feeling much better." I lie, pulling out my seat at the table. She places a glass of the strawberry smoothie she was making. "Thank you."
We dig in over light conversation. "I have something to take care of in the city. Will you be ok alone?" I ask, worried. "Don't worry mom, I'm a grown woman." She replies dramatically, clearing the table.
I grab my keys and drive off to the firm. "Kevin, I need your help." I beg, I'm feeling too exhausted to play the intimidation game. "What's wrong?" He asks sympathetically, confused. "The girl from the party." I reply, implying that that's what is wrong.
I know it's going to be a big ask, but I need to either clear her off my mind or claim her as mine. Anything to get this damned fever to leave me alone.
His eyes dilated in question. "Yuhh." I reply his unspoken question. "I don't know if it's her, but she keeps assaulting my mind." I continue. "So, how do you want me to help." He asks, sincerity clear in his voice. I know I can count on him. We have come a long way, way before the whole 'blackmailing each other' started.
I clear my throat and lay out the plan I had hatched on my way here. He needs to find a way to get to know more about her. "The more I know about her, the better I can plan the way forward." I tell him, believing it's the only way out.
I gather myself up to leave and walk to the door. I know for this to work I'll need to swallow my bought pride. I completely turn around and look at him, hoping that everything I'm feeling inside shows on my face. "Please do this for me." I say pleadingly. "You are the only one who can help me. He gets off his chair, maintaining eye contact with me as he walked over to the door where I was standing. "It's gonna be okay." He says, pulling me in for a hug.
The whole drive home, I'm reminiscing about our brief past together....
Tracey and Steve had sent me to the city for the holidays saying I needed a change of environment for a change and also meet new people since I was coming of age.
"Hello." A deep voice startles me out of my admiration trance. "Umm–hie." I reply, captivated by the green of his eyes. He smiles cockily and asks, "You new in town?" To which I nod vehemently. "Cool. I'll give you a ride." He must have cast some kind of spell on me because I agree without any hesitation. Hell, I don't even know the guy's name.
"Where are you headed." He asks, I reply by fishing a paper from my purse and handing it to him. "Great, it's in the direction I'm also headed." I just smile, and quickly start regretting my decision. "I'm Kevin." He says, he must have sensed the tension building up inside me. "I'm Kirst." I reply sheepishly, to which he just grins.
We talk about everything and anything, where I'd come from, where I was going and why, his job, his family. By the time I reach my destination, I didn't want to get off his orange truck. A weird color for a truck actually, too bright. We reluctantly say our goodbyes and I head inside.
I didn't see him for two full weeks, I wish I had a phone back then, I could have given it to him. "Kirst?" His voice sends butterflies flattering in my tummy. I turn around to face him, still in disbelief. He smiles at me, my insides melt, and that's when I realize how much I had missed him. We spend the day together, doing everything a teenage couple can afford.
We met frequently after our reunion until one day, he asked me to be his girlfriend, which I excitedly agreed to be. The days we were together were blissful. He suggested we have a celibate relationship, since I was his priced jewel and so he wanted to save me for our big day.
One bright summer morning, Tracey called me and told me to return home as soon as I could. As soon as she hung up, I dialed Kevin. He picks up on the third ring, "Hello, Kirst, you are missing me already?" He says as soon as he picks up the call. I don't reply him and the silence stretches until he asks, "Is everything ok?" I start sobbing into the phone,'how can he ask that,' "No. I'm going home." Is all I manage to get out. "When?" He asks, panick lacing his voice. "As– soon– as– tomorrow." I reply. "I'll see you before then."
That very night, he drove over to our place, picked me up and took me to the beach. We had a heated night, I guess the thought of not having to see me for a long time made him forget his celibacy promise.
I left the next morning and the worst part was that he wasn't there to bid me goodbye...
We probably would have gotten married if I had stayed but I'm just glad he agreed to be my lawyer when I reappeared in his life, this time with a baggage on my shoulders.