I can't believe it's been a week since then; my relationship with Sean is getting stronger. I gradually forgot about my trauma of being in a relationship with a man. Sean has gradually taken away all of my fear and distrust. He is my complete healer for my past trauma and I am very grateful for that.
Today, after kissing Sean goodbye before he left for work, I went into the study and busied myself learning about Katelyn's latest project. While emerged in what I am doing, my phone suddenly ringing. For the first time since returning to another country, I received a phone call on my cell phone this afternoon from Rachel.
I gladly answered her calling. We telling each other stories about our week when suddenly Rachel asked, "Have you opened my gift?"
I paused for a moment to think what Rachel meant, after remembering the gift she gave me I replied " Sorry. No, not yet. Actually I forget it "
Rachel let out a giggle " No wonder there hasn't been any news from you even though I was waiting for a call from you since I arrived home. It's been a week now, I can't wait anymore longer to satisfy my curiousity "
" I apologize for forgetting about the paper bag you gave me. Actually, after dropping you off, we made several stops before returning home late at night. "We were exhausted and went straight to sleep that night so I just keep your gift away and I forgot about it the next morning till now. Your paper bag hasn't been touched yet. I'm so sorry Rachel ," I said in regret.
"Oh, that's fine. After this, you can see what's inside the paper bag." Rachel replied. " May be this is the right time to open it not last week " she continued.
"What is it, you make me curious?" I inquired.
"Just see for yourself if I say now, it won't be a surprise anymore and it's not fun." Rachel made fun of me.
"Whatever," I continued.
" Let's continue talking about the issues we were discussed before." Rachel insisted.
" Ehem " she cleared her throat.
" How is your marriage life. Any development from the last time you discussed it with me? " she curious.
I told her everything about Sean that I felt and experienced happned this week. Yes, I'm not sure when I first fell in love with Sean. I didn't realize I was feeling it at first. But this feeling of love is growing stronger, and I can't help but feel it even more, and I can't deny and now I admitted it. How I feel grateful for the progress we made in our relatonship for the last past week.
" How far has your relationship progressed ? " Rachel inquired.
" What exactly do you mean. I don't get it. I already told you" I answered her. My brain seem stopped working whenever I talk to her.
"Sean, have he unboxing you yet? Tell me the story" Rachel giggled.
"Hah...unboxing...what's that?" I said it on the spur of the moment.
Rachel laughed, "Uuhh...Stop pretending..."
"I'm not sure. "What exactly is it?" I inquired, perplexed.
"You've been married for quite a long time," she objected.
"Not that long...less than three months," I replied, recalling how long it took.
"Why?" I inquired.
"Yes, yes...that's what I meant. Have you done it or you have not done it yet? It almost past 3 months !" Rachel exasperated.
"What? What did you mean. You make me confused, Rachel" I protested.
"What a husband and a wife usually do after marriage ! What a married couple do in their first night !...The first night," Rachel exclaimed. When I heard Rachel, my face turned red and I remained silent. Although this is the second time we discussed about it.
"Katelyn..katelyn..hello..are you fine. Hello..why you keep silent?" Rachel was worried.
"Uh, yeah..about that..." I hesitated to answer.
"How about it...Have you or you haven't ," Rachel insisted to know.
"Well, that's valid for a normal husband and wife… a normal married couple but you know what happened between us. We are an extra ordinary married couple if you remember." I tried to give her some excuses.
" Hahhhhh, so you haven't," Rachel was shocked. " WOWW..Sean is indeed suffered for holding it in," Rachel laughed mockingly. "Poor Sean." Rachel shook her head as if I could see her gesture.
Hearing her words, I became nervous. "Sean and I agreed to start our relationship from the beginning. He will do it when I'm ready. " I stand up for myself.
" I believe it's time.. Katelyn. You are a married couple and you have been falling in love with him now. What are you waiting for?" Then Rachel continued her advice about marriage and duties as a wife to me like a recording that has been rewinded to the past conversation we had before. Our conversation went on for quite some time and Rachel succedded to convince me to be ready for becoming one among the husband and the wife as God has commands us to do. Right after I decided to surrender myself to my husband, Rachel had to ended the call because she had to meet her father's business client.
In the midst of my decision I made, I reflected on everything Rachel had said. I feel bad for Sean, but I'm also concerned about what will happen next. Will I always be Katelyn, or will I revert to Emily? Should I completely give myself over to Sean? Sean is completely unaware of one of my secrets. What should I do about my marriage and Sean's life? I'm really worried about uncertain things happened in the future. I'd been winding my thought and feeling or a long time in hesitation and hadn't realized it was already late afternoon.
Finally, I decided to face what is now with Sean and not think about everything that will happen in the future, as the song Que Sera sera... whatever will be... will be…