Chapter 50 - Apparently I’m Funny

I decided to place a barrier around the mansion, then tried out my divine sense by scanning the place. There were quite a few people inside the mansion, and I wondered how I should enter. I kind of wanted to do a cool entry of blowing through the wall and decided, I'm powerful enough to enter however the hell I want!

I picked out the person who I thought was the owner of this fine mansion and cast an explosive spell on the wall to his side. He seemed to be in a large office from what I saw with my divine sense.

Boom!

The mansion shook, and many windows shattered. People inside started screaming, but I just ignored them.

I jumped through the large hole in the wall and made a superhero landing, which elicited Lila's laughter from behind me.

"Hey, what's so funny? Aren't I cool!?"

She was doubled over clutching her stomach, "you look so stupid squatting like that! Gotta take a shit?" Howls of laughter followed behind.

I started thinking about it from the perspective of someone who didn't grow up watching movies and realized it was, in fact, a weird pose.

I stood up and cleared my throat grumbling, "I'm so misunderstood! I need to find an Earth girl to share a normal conversation with in my future travels."

I walked over to the fat 50s-ish man with glasses on the floor; my mood was a little ruined, and he was just the guy to relieve my irritation.

Lila jumped in through the hole behind me while wiping tears from her eyes, still giggling.

I pulled out the peeler and held it to the guy's cheek, "you're going to answer all my questions, right?"

He nodded vigorously, clearly terrified, "yes!"

"Was my pose funny?"

His terrified face took on a hint of 'WTF?', "No, it wasn't!" He said with the confidence a politician would be proud of.

I jerked the peeler down, taking off a strip of flesh; he screamed, and I cast a silencing spell on him, "Wrong answer, the right answer is 'Yes,' because the woman is always right."

His mouth was open in a silent scream as blood gushed from his cheek. When he ran out of breath, he looked at me hatefully, his eyes trying to ask how he was supposed to know that.

"Now, was my pose funny?"

I removed the silencing spell; he nodded, "Yes, it was very funny."

I peeled off another strip from his other cheek and cast a silencing spell before he could make irritating noises again, "shouldn't you be trying to please the person with the peeler against your face?"

His face was already ugly from screaming and crying and now also looked like he'd spurt blood from anger.

I sighed, "Looks like you won't answer my questions correctly. Should I peel off more ahead of time or ask another question?"

I acted like I was pondering it for a bit while he shook his head like a madman.

"Don't ask another question yet? Alright, we'll do it your way."

He tried waving which made his arms get in the way, and I stomped on his shoulders; the sound of bones crunching came from underneath my boot.

The snap crackle pop sounds reminded me of those cereal boxes from Earth; this is much louder than those little noises ever were. You had to almost hold your ear to the bowl to hear a thing!

He looked like he was about to pass out, so I cast a little magic to prevent it; it was originally magic to prevent someone from passing out after an injury so they would have a better chance of living to see a healer, but it works for my purposes also.

I lifted up his shirt and started drawing a troll face by taking off strips from his fat belly.

When I was finished, I stood up straight and nodded in satisfaction; it was surprisingly good, though I'm no Picasso.

I'd apparently gotten better at art after my body forging when I got to this world; I'm excited to see the benefits from the next one. Maybe I really will be a Picasso.

I turned my attention back to the guy on the floor and removed the silencing spell, "So, -"

"It was funny but also looked awesome!" He blurted out.

I blinked a few times then remembered our previous conversation.

I took off a strip from his forehead, "It's not nice to speak over someone. Now, what do you know about money that is missing from the magic tower?"

"I'm sorry; I'm sorry. She came to me and said she'd give me the money, and I buy things with it for her! I know I shouldn't have; please forgive me!"

"Who?"

"The 4th floor manager; she sends the money between the floors so nobody knows where it ends up, and it just gets lost then she takes it from the tower."

Ah, that explains why the vault is short on money. It's getting sent so many places, no one would be able to find it if they only had a massive pile of receipts.

I shot an ice needle through his skull and told the girls we were leaving now to head back to the tower.

I didn't bother checking what valuables he had since I was so rich already; it would only be a waste of time.

We flew up above the mansion, and I saw people trying to pound on the barrier and run away. We flew through the barrier, and I tossed an explosive spell back inside.

The only sound I could hear through the barrier when it hit the ground and exploded was a small puff. I could have made it silent, but why bother.

Everything inside the barrier was instantly destroyed, and there was a large crater left behind; it looked like a giant snow globe with the flakes of ash floating through the air towards the ground. I weakened the barrier so someone could break it easily enough when they wanted to get inside.

I took a moment to look at the scene before we sped off to the tower.

It wouldn't take long before the guards came to check why there was a crater in place of a mansion, but that isn't my problem.

We landed back on the balcony of my office and entered through the door; I took the elevator down to the 4th floor to look for the manager.

I didn't see her in the office, so I decided to ask one of the security personnel on the floor for her whereabouts, "Where is the manager of this floor?"

"I don't know, tower master; she didn't come in today and said yesterday she would be at home, so probably there. Would you like me to call her here?"

"No. Elaria, get me her address."

"Yes, Master."

We returned to my office where she started looking through a file drawer.

"Master, I found her address; shall we leave now?"

"Yeah, let's go."

We flew through the sky to a villa on the outskirts of the city; it was a section of the city where the rich live, but away from the capital.

I hovered over her house and peered inside with my divine sense.

I almost choked; inside, I saw an orgy taking place. It was a party complete with musicians, waiters serving food and drinks, and many of the guests were wearing masks.

The masks did nothing to hide their faces from my divine sense though, and I saw many nobles were in attendance having a fun on the floor or various furniture.

I sensed many of the girls there were ones Elaria had taught magic to and were going around filling their holes with many different men. Not that I care what they do I just found it interesting that a bunch of them ended up here.

Actually, I do care. If its free here why would anyone visit my brothel?

I looked for the floor manager and found her surrounded by another group with her hands and holes stuffed full.

I still needed to confirm whether what the guy said was true but soon realized that some of the guests were discussing how she throws these parties for a week every month after she makes a good haul from the tower.

That was all the confirmation I needed; I used some magic to manipulate the air so that the guys around her were pushed away, a few of them were jerked out of her.

I grabbed her and pulled her through the upper floor and the roof up to our level.

I cast a barrier around her place, trapping the guests inside.

She was just hanging in the air in front of us wiggling her limbs to no avail trying to get free.

Lila saw she wasn't wearing anything, "was she bathing? No, she's covered in it, and I'd never mistake that smell for anything."

I snorted; of course you wouldn't.

I glanced down and saw people looking up through the hole at us in the air.

"I see the money you stole is going to a good cause," my voice dripped with sarcasm.

"T-Tower Master?"

"Who else do I look like? Never mind; you probably seen so many people that left a deep impression you can't remember me."

She didn't seem to know what to do or say.

"You didn't reply, why are you stealing money from the tower?"

She looked like she was trying to think of how to get out of this.

"I'll jog your memory."

The bones in her right arm shattered; I used magic as I didn't want to touch her.

She screamed, and I went through the silencing spell song and dance again before she broke down and said what I wanted to hear while crying.

"I just took it because I wanted to buy things."

"Mhm, see that wasn't so hard."

I snapped my fingers and her mana core shattered. She screamed in pain again, and I released her.

She plunged back to the ground, and her leg clipped the roof as she fell through the hole; the people underneath scattered as she hit the floor.

She made a small wheezing sound as the air got knocked out of her.

Blood trickled out of her mouth and spurted when she gave little coughs. Her leg was twisted at an unnatural angle, and she stared blankly into the sky.

I tossed another explosive spell through the barrier and destroyed everything inside, repeating the previous process.

I put my arm around Lila and pulled her close, "Should we go check out Beastholm after I copy all the spell books in the magic tower?"

"Yeah, but first…" she was doing a little dance while rubbing her legs together.

"Ahahaha, oh yes, let's stop by the apartment."