The passing of week's went by in practically the blink of an eye, the Wolf had held hands and made out with the object of his obsession quite a few times. It was on one of these particular day's they could be found in the garden, her on his lap as they talked and kissed the moment too sweet. The Wolf should have known by now God's can be cruel, Karma is a bitch and and sometimes Destiny was a real cunt.
Absorbed,enamered and enthralled by Valentina the Wolf had no idea how deeply marked he was about to become. His whole life would be changing soon.
"Why is it you don't want to date anyone Wolfie?"
"Cause all females are the same you give them the world you end up with a knife in your back"
"Not all females are that way hun"
"Well yeah Rose isn't but that's cause that Bunny ain't normal, she's a pyromaniac that loves to tease me watch shit burn to the ground and always has my back"
"Not what I meant but I like Rose"
"Hmmhh too bad she's mine you can't have her"
Valentina blushes at me then smiles. I could stare at her lips alone all day every day of my life every time she smiles at me I feel like I'm actually worth something
She had said something but I was lost in my own thoughts damn her lips are so distracting, trying hard to listen and figure out what she said to know what she was saying.
"....I'm saying it's always a gamble you throw the pieces out there hoping someone can glue your heart back together"
I nod keeping my eyes on hers as a fixed point of reference scolding myself...don't look at her lips dumbass, wow her eyes are amazing the way her lashes flutter...come on dude control yourself.
"...sometimes it can be hard to trust someone but you have to start somewhere"
"I trust you that's good enough for me"
"And you trust Rose that's good"
"The hell I do Bunny is a walking time bomb she's so submissive she let's everyone just roll right over her, she feels nothing but pretends to feel it all she is anarchy and I am chaos"
"Yeah but both of you come running to the other if something happens that means something"
"Means I got her back cause if I don't I have to deal with that damn spray bottle of hers"
"Spray bottle?"
"Yeah same as a rolled up news paper when a puppy shits in the floor"
*okay I get it now when your naughty you get sprayed"
"Exactly only Rose likes naughty it's when I'm acting stupid that I get sprayed, one day I will destroy that damn thing...wait better not then she'll get the water hose after me"
Her lips draw me in and I start softly kissing them then I put my head down
"What's wrong tell me Wolfie"
"The Darkness I run to and hide in runs deep it's like this great suck hole that devours all light it's so cold and dark it can make the body numb. I found this darkness after many failed attempts to kill myself. All my life I get smacked down I get back up, I get hurt I ignore it and keep going"
I take her hand lifting it to my face and kiss her wrist, I'm so glad she will never know what this action means. Every being has a pulse, every pulse is different but in Iceland this action means your everything to me and I hope someday our pulse runs the same way. It's a false really cause every time I do it I'm just reminding myself that when death comes for me I'm gonna be alone on the other side. I won't be waiting by the boat of the ferry man by the river Styx for anyone and they won't show up for me. My world is just that black suck hole and when I pass on that's all that awaits me I've made peace with it.
She blushes at me probably thinking it's a term of endearment and I'll let her too. I do like her touch it stills the chaos within and all I dwell on is how perfect she is. There's no way I'd ever deserve her someone like her is always meant for somebody else.
Our kisses grow heated and at some point I'm not even sure who is moaning the most me or her. As always every kiss with her makes time stand still holding it's breath. Her soft lips the taste so sweet and delicate but with strength and power. I bet she doesn't even know the moment we first kissed I knew so much about her. I touch her lips with my finger admiring every part of her not just her body but her soul. I hear it so small and faint there's pain and betrayal, heartache and longing a since to belong but I wouldn't tell her this. I wonder how would it feel to devote my life to making all that just float away?
Who am I kidding she's never gonna want someone like me and that's okay I think yeah I'd do anything that makes her happy.
We lay under the sky tracing shapes in the clouds pointing out thing's of course most of the time I look up it's always pictures of animals or War.
Being close to Valentina it feels nice but I must always keep my true self away from her only harm can come to us both if I don't
Damn that suck hole. Every time I'm away from her that's the only place I go back to. The ice cold embrace, like spikes of ice impaling every inch of my body the numb feeling of my mind it's a valm that is almost scary the kind that makes you wake up in you sleep feeling like death had your throat and no matter how much you called for help nobody could hear you people you love right beside you but as you scream and beg they don't even notice.