Something had happened no matter how hard I tried to get in touch with Valentina I couldn't, all her family and friend's none would reason with me all they would say is she had a breakdown. I searched for her, I closed my eyes focused on our bond but it was clouded.
My hands in my hair pacing around at the very edge of losing my shit. I had snapped at every person she knew even Baby Flamez hid from me. Every second my grip on the beast inside me slipped. At first it was just in the eye's.
Soon after I was in my full wolf form the shadows and darkness itself molding to my form the dark living flames all around my body became but mere shadows cast on the walls. Roan was lose and nothing was standing in his way.
Head thrown back arm's spread claws out I howled for my mate but got no reply. Tearing apart the house looking for a way out I busted through the solid oak plank front door splintering it into nothing. Pieces of wood exploding out spraying the yard in oak slivers.
I hunted for my mate for day's and found nothing. Going back home crawling into the darkest space I could find. The beast rested after tearing apart the forest and destroying a pack of rogue wolves the fight had left the beast.
After week's of waiting barely eating hardly even moving I woke up in my human form my beast no longer wanting anything to do with me. I played with kid's everyday watched sing a long Disney movies and moped around not really talking to anyone. I wasn't even sure what had happened. Had I done something wrong? Was Valentina okay.
I suddenly got a text message that nearly ended my existence.
"Wolfie stop it your being childish I'm fine sort of I'm just going through a lot rn and your not helping being this was just stop and give me some time"
I felt hurt, frustrated, irritated but most of all just plain tired. I think I slept for 3 day's straight just reading that message over and over again. She thought I was childish? Did she know nothing about wolves? She knew but I guess in her mind those word's were necessary.
I was lost and confused I wouldn't let anyone near me for almost 2 month's I was a shell of the person I'd once been. My Beast barely a whisper in the back of my mind.
When Valentina came back it was like she barely even knew me. For day's all I did was stand in the Shadow's watching her interact with her family laughing and telling joke's hell I bet if I left right now she would barely know I was here.
A week after that Baby Flamez was all pouty asking Valentina if she still loved me or if she just didn't want me anymore.
"Where is Wolfie is he here?"
"Wolfy always here he just not come out of scary dark"
I watched as Valentina looked about the room trying to find me but she wouldn't I didn't even plan to come out.
"Wolfie I need to see you please"
"Why so I can be called a child again? I think I'll pass"
She looked right at me as if my word's had pin pointed my location. She put her hand's on her waist glaring at me.
"Wolfie you get out here rn"
"I'm not a child you can't command me around the way you do your baby sister. And I don't see as we have much to talk about after the month's you been gone and only one text sent to make me feel 2 inches tall"
"Your not being fair Wolfie we need to talk this out"
"No I think now it's just my turn to abandon you for months with barely a word"
"Wolfie 2 wrongs don't make a right. I'm sorry for what happened but i just can't explain it to you can't you just forgive me and come hold me? I've missed you"
"I missed you too Valentina but there's consequences for every action I didn't matter enough to you for you to keep in touch so I don't see why it's a problem now"
She goes to her knees crying shaking looking like she's falling apart and damn it...I did that I hurt her with everything I said cause I'm still lost and don't understand a damn thing.
I pick her up holding her carry her to bed I lay down with her I take a sniff of her and it's all I can do not to dry heave. I cover her up lay on the blankets keeping her in my arm's softly kissing my mark on her neck.
I don't pry for information I almost don't have to I can smell him on her. I don't say much I just stay quiet and hold her letting her calm down. The whole time feeling as if I'm the worst person alive. Not believing I could ever treat her this way.
I whisper that I Love her and that she should rest. Deep inside I declare to myself that for every tear I made her shed I pay for 10 fold. For every tear I'll have Liz lash me 10 time's and since her cheeks were covered in streams of them...I won't be satisfied till streams of blood pay for that sin.
I snuggle her letting her rest. Once she is asleep I go get my debt paid in full and return to her side my skin in ruin from the silver blades cutting deep into my back. I hurt so much that I actually black out from the pain while holding my mate as she cries in her sleep.
Never again will I hurt her this way. Once I was asleep I never told her but I dreamed of her punching.slapping.clawing and biting the darkness. But I am the Darkness so I will forever wonder if she felt I was the thing smothering her and pushing her further away from the light.