Chereads / The Paths of Life / Chapter 3 - Rushed

Chapter 3 - Rushed

Everything about his living situation was unfair, he was tired of being constantly infantilized because he didn't act recklessly or because he didn't have any friends. He was smart, reliable and responsible and he believed those traits to be more important than whether or not you have a social life in order to be a functioning human being. 

From the moment he was born his parents instilled on him the responsibilities associated with his name, he could do whatever he wanted as long as he did it perfectly and his behavior must reflect the values of his family. Being a second generation Colombian-American was not an easy feat, his father had to fight a lot of stereotypes to be respected and treated as a human and Alex really wanted to make him proud but the overprotectiveness was killing him. 

His father was autistic like him and that made his life harder because his parents didn't believe in the diagnosis, for them it was "white people nonsense" and he just needed to "get over it", that's why when Alex got his diagnosis his father used every available tool to make it easier on him, but Alex wasn't only autistic, he also had panic disorder and social anxiety and they had no experience with that so they turned to being overprotective.

To guarantee his children grew up understanding the value of hard work and to reward them for being stand up citizens, Fernando Castellanos, Alex's father, set up a trust fund for each of them with enough money to help them get settled once they turn 25 but they had to abide to some rules: no reckless behaviors, no unwanted pregnancies and they must live together at least until Andrea's 25th birthday. At first it seemed so simple, they weren't being forced to stick to a career or to marry someone they didn't want for financial reasons, but now it felt restrictive and controlling. 

Alexander knew he couldn't fulfill his dreams of going to med school and becoming a pathologist if he didn't have access to the trust fund, he could easily get a scholarship but living expenses were a whole other problem. He had to accept that Andrea was right. They couldn't change their situation. 

Two weeks later Alex was organizing documents on his computer for his medical school application when he heard a knock on the door, a second later Andrea's voice was heard through the wood. 

"Alex, Dad wants to know if you are available to travel this Saturday?" she opened the door "he wants us both home before Sunday"

"What's sunday? I still have a lot to do" he turned on his chair and gestured to the computer.

"Mother's day, he wants to organize a BBQ for mom. All of our aunties and uncles will also be there" she snapped her fingers "think quickly, I have him on hold"

"You know I don't do well on airports" he frowned, he knew he had no choice "Tell him I'll go if he buy the three seats so we can sit comfortably without strangers"

"Ok" she nodded "lunch will be ready in 20 minutes, I need to ask you for a favor"

She left, leaving the door open and he sighted. He was tired of asking her to leave the door how she found it. He bit the inside of his cheek, he didn't know what she needed from him, most of the times her favors included disrespecting his clearly established boundaries. But he decided he would try and live his life in peace at least until her birthday when he'd finally be free.

He got up and stretched his back and arms, he was tired and hungry but he couldn't stop worrying about having his application completed, the rational part of his brain knew he had more than two weeks to complete everything but that didn't stop his mind from creating scenarios where he missed his chance because of a single document missing or a website crashing. He entered the living room and was floored with the smell of his favorite food. His stomach rumbled.

"Lasagna?" he sat on the counter and looked at her sister's face, she was avoiding his gaze "Andrea, what is going on? You never cook lasagna unless you need something really big from me"

She smiled nervously and turned off the oven, took her oven mitts off and bit her lip "I think Julian is going to propose"

"propose? but you've only been seeing each other for like 4 months" he rested his elbow on the counter and his chin on his hand "you know what mom is going to say, she's going to call him a gold digger"

"I'm willing to give my trust fund up" she looked him in the eye and pouted her lips "please say something"

"You don't seem surprised about the prospective proposal" 

"He invited me to dinner at a really fancy restaurant and asked me to bring you, I'm not an idiot" She sat next to him and rub her eyes "I thought if something like this ever happened to me I'd be scared and run away but I'm actually glad"

"This is not normal, you don't know each other that well" 

"I've never felt anything like this, i'm so comfortable around him, we can talk about everything, he makes me laugh and he understands me" she took his hands "I know this sounds crazy, but I can see myself having a future with him"

"I don't know what you want me to say, sounds like you already made up your mind about this, you are an adult and you are aware of the consequences" he squeezed her hands softly "I don't have experience with this and romantic love is a foreign concept to me so I can't really give you any kind of honest advice. Just remember, I want you to be happy"

She smiled and hugged him. He stiffened until she released him "Sorry, I got excited. I'm assuming you're coming to dinner then?"

"Give me a serving of lasagna and i'll let you know once i'm no longer hangry" 

"She's here and she brought her brother" 

Julian's excited voice snapped Montag out of his reverie. Quiet, intimate and boring places always made him feel disconnected. He followed Julian's gaze to the door where Andrea was coming in with her brother by her side. The guy looked exactly as he looked the first time they met: distant and uninterested. He was wearing a white shirt and black dressing pants. His brown hair was slicked back and the warm light of the room made his tan skin glow.

Julian walked towards them, meeting them halfway between the door and the big long table where most of the attendees were seated. Andrea's smile was as big as the moon and it got bigger once she noticed her boyfriend. She took Julian's hand and kissed him on the cheek, then quietly left through a balcony door. Her brother stood there for a few seconds clearly assessing the room and quickly found a corner where he could rest without being bothered.

Montag remembered Andrea mentioning her brother had some sort of social phobia. The dude must really love his sister if he was willing to go through a dinner full of people just for her. Montag could see the panic in his eyes everytime he raised them. He smirked, he was getting bored and teasing the little mouse sounded like fun. He got up from his chair and headed where the man was standing.

"I didn't catch your name the last time" he stood close and raised his hand "I'm Montag but you already knew"

"Look, man, i'm here because Andrea asked me to come, but i'm not looking to make any friends"

"Don't be feisty, if this turns out how the lovebirds want it we'll be seeing each other regularly" he brushed his fingers against the other man's forearm. The chill it caused was visible.

"Please don't touch me" he took a step back and fixed his eyes on the floor "leave me alone, i don't handle physical contact well"

"Tell me your name" he grinned

"Alex, now go" He took another step back

"See, I don't want to, I'm having a nice time here" he got closer until Alex's back was against the wall and their chests were brushing together. 

Panicked hazel eyes blinked repeatedly and he felt Alex's fists pushing him away. Seconds later the man fell to his hands and knees and heaved loudly. He knew he fucked up when he saw tears staining the floor. He crouched, being careful not to touch him. 

"I'm sorry, i didn't know it was that bad" he took out a handkerchief and handed it to him.

"You don't even know me, you should've taken my word for it" he sat on the floor resting his back against the wall. He looked pale with sweat covering his forehead "Leave me alone before someone notices, I hate being noticed" he cleaned his forehead and handed the handkerchief back. 

"Keep it, I'm going to get you something to drink, anything in particular?" Montag could tell he was going to be rejected "i'm not taking no for an answer"

Alex swallowed loudly and licked his lips "Ginger ale, please" 

Montag went to find a waiter and from the corner of his eye could see Alex trying to get up while holding the wall. He felt like crap, he shouldn't have forced him. He constantly had to remind himself that the rest of humanity wasn't responsible for his shitty life. The waiter gave him a bottle of cold ginger ale and he returned to give it to Alex just as Julian and Andrea were coming back from the balcony.

The room got quiet and all eyes were on the couple. Andrea was blushing and Julian was levitating. Everything went perfectly. Julian took a glass from a tray and raised it.

"She said Yes," He proclaimed, with a big bright smile.

The room erupted in cheers. Montag looked at where Alex was standing. He was rubbing his index fingers with his thumb nails almost unconsciously, his eyes were fixed on the floor and he was tapping his right feet. He was in some sort of trance. 

"I-is everything ok?" he asked softly. Alex didn't answer. "Alex?"

Suddenly Alex was shaken out of that state and he looked over Montag's shoulder. He hadn't noticed it before but Alex never seemed to make direct eye contact.

"i'm ok, please leave now" he shook his head "you know what? i'll be the one leaving" 

He took a deep breath and exited through the balcony door. Montag could see the shirt sticking to his back, bitter bile hitting his throat,

I'm a piece of shit who likes to see people suffer