Saya POV
Since I was little, I always felt bad, for being envious of my Big sister.
I yearned to be like her, to embody that same kindness that seemed to radiate from every pore of her being. I watched as Rahua treated everyone, even our troublesome aunt, with compassion. Me, on the other hand, struggled with my own inner turmoil, feeling far from the virtuous person I longed to become.
She always had kind words to give, even in moments when the words were failing me.
I was never that kind but wanted to be from, the bottom of my heart.
She was very lively and didn't take people harsh words to heart.
I even though I tried hard, by trying to demand of myself to be like her, even some people would praise me for being kind, I knew I really wasn't.
After the incident, the once gentle demeanor had transformed into something I couldn't recognize. Gone was the perfect Big sister I had envied, and in her place stood someone different, someone imperfect.
At first, I couldn't help but feel a hint of relief.
But as I spent more time with her, I realized that the person my big sister had become was even more amazing than before. Despite her quirks and unusual ideas, Big sister exuded a newfound zest for life.
She laughed louder, cried freely, and embraced every moment with unyielding enthusiasm, and strangeness.
First I became curious, then before I knew it I was admiring her.
My Jelousy slowly turned into genuine admiration. I no longer wanted to be like my big sister in the same way I once did. Instead, I longed to be myself, to embrace my own imperfections just like she did.
She does say strange things from time to time, and has some outrageous ideias, I find myseld loving her with all my heart without feeling guilty.
I did love her before, it is different now I'm not jealous anymore, I am just happy to be her sister, someone I look up and expire to be.