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Chapter 54 - Chameleon of Faith

With the Marquis de La Fayette's words, a middle-aged man in his forties wearing a black bishop's robe with a slight limp in his feet walked in and bowed to the others.

"Bishop Talleyrand!" Several of the men in the little parlor recognized the cleric at once.

The bishop was a popular figure in the salons of Paris and the places of pleasure. He came from a family of fallen nobility and was sent to study in a seminary from an early age. This is the path often taken by many noble families' sons and daughters.

In general, the sons of noble families often have several such paths.

The first is to inherit the property of his ancestors and then be a fat, happy man who sits around eating and dying. However, Talleyrand speaks of a property that previous generations of fat, happy men have already consumed.

Secondly, go and become an officer and live the good life on His Majesty's pay - yet the army has no need of a crippled officer.

Third, to become a civil official and then live a good life on His Majesty's salary, embezzle public money and other people's bribes - however, to get a civil official position, you need to bribe people first. Talleyrand's family could not afford this.

So Talleyrand was left with only one last way to go: to become a priest.

The path of being a cleric is actually not a bad one; theoretically, all believers are God's people and are equal before God. But in truth, some people are always more equal before God than others. Generally speaking, clergymen of plebeian origin in the Church, at most, make it to the priests of their own church, and clergymen above the bishop level are all of noble origin.

The Church has a lot of assets and can make a good living as a bishop.

There is a story in Boccaccio's Decameron. It says that a Catholic persuaded his friend, a Jew, to convert to Catholicism. The Jew, somewhat moved, expressed to his friend that he would visit Rome, the capital of Christendom.

His friend was horrified to hear of this decision and felt that his mission would surely fail, for no man had ever arrived in Rome without seeing the arrogance of the Catholic Church. There is no virtue there at all, only sin of every kind.

Yet that Jew went to Rome and came back and was immediately baptized and converted to Catholicism because he thought, "The Catholic Church is so corrupt and depraved, but still standing, it must be because it has the true God behind it."

Unlike the Jew, Talleyrand was originally Catholic and studied theology for five years at Saint-Sulpice Seminary. These five years of study did not bring him "closer to God," but rather made him an atheist. But seeing as the church could give him money, he acted very religiously.

On the strength of this feigned piety, on the accession of Louis XVI to the throne, he was granted the post of abbot of the Abbey of Saint-Rémy in Reims, as well as an annuity of up to eighteen thousand livres (a type of silver coinage, which later developed into the franc).

With this money, Talleyrand spent his time in Paris, living the life of a secular aristocrat. Because that deanship is a beautiful job with a paycheck and no work, he has all the time in the world. He bought a cozy little house in Paris and took turns living in Reims and the capital, drinking, and gambling wildly and seeking out women.

He took this opportunity to get to know some bankers. He helped them get information about the church and even the inside of the kingdom's government, and those people gave him all kinds of opportunities to get rich. He made a lot of money again by speculating on all kinds of securities.

Talleyrand was not a cheapskate. The money came in fast and was spent dry. Relying on the help of his friends after the necklace incident, he almost succeeded in taking Rohan's place as cardinal if it wasn't for the queen's obstruction.

Although he didn't become a cardinal, he did manage to get his hands on the position of Bishop of Autun.

Since Talleyrand climbed up the ladder one step at a time by the king, he should have been a hardcore conservative and king's party in most people's eyes, yet now he's here.

"Gentlemen, it is an honor to meet you." Bishop Talleyrand spoke.

"Your Excellency Bishop, is there something you wish to say to us in your sudden visit to our assembly?" Sieyès asked. 

"The Count of Artois is ready to leave France with his family for Italy." Bishop Talleyrand replied.

The "Count of Artois" was the younger brother of Louis XVI and the staunchest of the old guard. Tocqueville, a later historian, had this to say about him:

"We have seen a number of leaders in history whose intellectual structure, cultural level, political judgment, and value choices would have been stuck at a certain stage in their youth. Then, no matter how long he lives or how many changes happen in the world, he manifests as a corpse at some point.

Suppose there is some chance for him to ascend to a great position. In that case, he will surely look for resources to construct his political philosophy, value choices, and governing strategy from the moment the process of his intellectual and knowledge development stops. The character of such a person is generally obstinate, paranoid, foolishly confident, foolhardy, and self-absorbed, believing that he defends certain values and can open up a new direction in the development of the country.

In fact, they often wear ancient costumes but perform on modern stages, like a ghost in the grave suddenly appearing in broad daylight; everyone knows he is a ghost, but he thinks he is the true God. But none of the ideas he has chosen or the policies he has pursued are moldy old stuff."

"Count Artois is going into exile?" Sieyès gave a contemptuous smile, "He's escaping? Wasn't he all about suppressing us? And now he's running away?"

"The fact that he escaped only makes a certain Royal Highness happier." Barnave, however, frowned.

"But that's a good thing, isn't it?" The Marquis de La Fayette said, "The king's power is weakened, and now his majesty has no power to rely on except us."

"But there's not much we can do these days to take the mob that His Royal Highness has instigated just as well." Barnave said.

"Then let him get on with his act. If we can't give those mobs what they want, can His Royal Highness? While he was setting fire to his own brother's house, did he not consider that his own house and his brother's house were joined together?" The Marquis de La Fayette said.

"Our house also adjoins theirs." Barnave replied.

"You are right Mr. Barnave. The truth is that the third estate is a bogus concept." Bishop Talleyrand spoke, "Third estate, this division is all bullshit, it's just that some idiots actually believe it all."

"What do you mean by that?" Sieyès frowned. His masterpiece was 'What Is the Third Estate?'. Now Talleyrand was saying that the "third estate" was a bogus concept, which naturally didn't make him very happy. 

"Gentlemen, take a look at that neighboring country to the west of us, the one that is the most successful in the world today. On second thought, what exactly is privilege?" Talleyrand said.

"I don't understand what you mean." Sieyès said. He wasn't able to follow Talleyrand's train of thought, which made him dislike Talleyrand more and more.

"Privilege, after all, is the prioritization of access to the good life." The traditional nobility, by birth, enjoys this priority," Talleyrand said. But in recent times, this prioritization of origin has, to a large extent, become unworkable. Even without the revolution, the priority of birth is necessarily, if not already, converted into the priority of property."

Seeing that Sieyès seemed a bit unconvinced, Talleyrand smiled again and said, "Take myself as an example. I was born into a small noble family. When I was born, I didn't make it to the good times, and the family died out a long time ago. The wealth of the past had long since fallen into the hands of the Jews, and there was nothing left but a suffix (a reference to the word "de" in the name which denoted his nobility). Our family is no better off than a decent third estate, if not far worse off. Because they have more money. Money is privilege."

At this point, Talleyrand slightly paused so that everyone could digest his words. After a while like this, he continued, "Let's take a look at the English. Is there an aristocracy in England? Yes, are there decent people in England who aren't aristocrats? The same thing is there in France. So, are there thugs in England with nothing to lose? Of course there are, and what country does not have poor people who have nothing to lose and therefore have nothing to fear? Why, then, can there be a bloodless 'Glorious Revolution' in England?"

"Why?" Sieyès asked.

Talleyrand smiled, "Because the British understand that money is power and power is money. These two things are interchangeable. One can be a nobleman, a cleric, and a wealthy man all at the same time. There is no unbridgeable gap in this."

"Like you, Lord Bishop?" Sieyès asked with a sarcastic smile.

"Yes." Talleyrand smiled disarmingly and said, "Only poverty has a deep gulf with privilege. The nobility should realize this and open the doors of power to decent people. And the decent people should be joined with the nobles so that the decent people share the power and the nobles share the wealth. In the end, everyone got what they wanted, and that's what made Britain strong and stable.

All this time, I have been trying to persuade the King and the other nobles to follow the example of the English so that all decent people can come to an alliance.

But in France, there are just too many stupid people. Among the nobles are zombies like the Count of Artois, still living in the Medieval period, who still thinks he can rule France according to the medieval practices, not willing to give up a bit of his interests to those who have the money and decency to do so, not realizing that money is power. How could the rich, or more accurately, the decent people with power, be at his mercy?

And then there are the smarmy fools like the Duke of Orleans, who unthinkingly just randomly opens the bottle that seals the devil without thinking about how it's going to end up in the future! Do we really want to share power and wealth with those sans-culottes? The wealth of France is too great to be divided equally among these hooligans. But now, the Duke of Orleans has set them free and shown them their power. Once they realize their power, they will not fail to use it for their own benefit. But we can't give them what they want because they are trying to live like us! That's never going to happen!

Whether aristocrats or rich, they are naturally supposed to enter a holy alliance. Yet they all went down evil paths because of stubbornness, stupidity, and damnable arrogance and ambition. One stubbornly refuses to move forward, even if moving forward should have brought them a better life; the other recklessly lets the devil out of the bag.

Today, France is in great danger because of these fools. I think that now that the King can no longer save France, only you here can save it. That is why I appear before you now."

Sieyès stared at Talleyrand with wide eyes for half a second, then he took a breath and said, "My Lord Bishop, you are the Machiavelli of France, a man of no faith."

"No, Mr. Sieyès." Talleyrand said with a serious face, "You are prejudiced against me. It is true that I do not really believe in God, but I love France."

"Monsignor Bishop," said Barnave, "I am not interested in your faith. I know that you have been reprimanded for taking the liberty of honoring Voltaire (who was excommunicated for his vehement opposition to Catholicism). And you confessed to His Eminence the Cardinal, and the confession was said to be sincere. But we don't care about any of that. My concern is, now that the demons have been let out of the bottle, how can we put them back in. Is there anything you can teach us about this?"

"There are only two ways to put back a devil that's already out of the bottle since the beginning of time." Talleyrand answered at once.

"What two kinds?"

"The first was King Solomon's method of overpowering the demons by their own power and forcing them inside the bottle. The other way, the fisherman's way, is to trick them with lies and lure them into the bottle themselves."

"For someone who is supposed to be a bishop, you're actually using a pagan story as an analogy." Sieyès couldn't help but interject again.

"Seek knowledge even unto China," Talleyrand replied. 

"That's another pagan quote."

"It's not like France has been allied with paganism for a day or two."

"Let's get back to business, Mr. Sieyès, Your Eminence the Bishop." Barnave said, "Monsignor Bishop, which approach do you think we can use?"

"Two-pronged." Talleyrand replied, "But before we can prepare to put the devil in a bottle, we must first find a way to dispose of the fellow who, for the sake of his own ambition, put the devil out of the bottle. Otherwise, although this His Royal Highness has limited skills, and would most likely not be able to do anything well if he were really asked to do it, he has been messing with the King for many years, and there are not many people in France who are more proficient than he is in the matter of how to mess with the King. It won't be easy to pull off what we're doing if we can't clean him up first."

"What shall we do with him?"

"Don't rush it yet, wait for him to make his own mistakes." Talleyrand said.