At the National Assembly meeting on October 10th, Bishop Talleyrand, originally a representative of the first estate and now a member of Parliament for the Autun area, asked for the floor.
The bishop, dressed in black episcopal robes, stepped up to the podium amidst genuine or fake applause. Unlike that other chameleon, who also came from the seminary and, even later, was equally known for his fickleness, Bishop Talleyrand was very adept at delivering a variety of speeches. It's all horse-flattening techniques anyway, and all the techniques that can fool believers at the altar are actually suitable for use in speeches that fool the masses.
"Everyone knows that the new system is in place, although His Majesty the King has recognized the Declaration of Human Rights and has expressed his loyalty to the Constitution. But France still faces a great crisis. A number of conservative aristocrats had fled abroad and were contacting other despots in Europe in a vain attempt to use their power to subvert the revolution. And at home, there is rebellion everywhere, with thieves and insurgents running amok and wreaking havoc on our France. Are these crises of such magnitude that we can still turn a blind eye and a deaf ear?"
"Can't!"
"Can't!"
The legislators shouted. And from the left side of the podium, there was even a voice that said, "Hang those bad things! Hang them all from the streetlights!"
Bishop Talleyrand's face remained calm, though he disliked the guys sitting on his left.
"But we also face a huge difficulty in that we don't have the money in our hands." Talleyrand continued, "Because of the extravagance and wastefulness of the Crown, France is now in debt to the extent of four and a half billion livres, and the mere repayment of the interest would consume all the money we have in our hands. If there is no money, then what will we use to arm our fighters and defend our revolution?"
"So what do you say?"
"Could you still conjure up a livre?" Someone shouted from below.
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, please be quiet." Bishop Talleyrand raised his voice, "I do have a viable solution."
There was silence all around.
A lot of people are thinking, 'Does this guy not want to die and is going to lead the way in proposing a tax increase?'
"Everyone knows that over the years the Church has amassed great wealth in France." Talleyrand continued, "As far as I know, the Church owns at least three billion livres worth of land, as well as other wealth. If we can take this wealth and serve the public, then we have a solution to our immediate crisis."
As soon as these words were said, the entire venue was abuzz with excitement.
Some shouted, "Yeah, those damn vampires, they should have spit those out a long time ago!"
Others shouted, "This is blasphemy!"
It was, of course, the other clerical representatives who cried out in this way. They don't have the support of others, though. In fact, hitting religious organizations when money is scarce is also a long tradition here in Catholic Filial France.
It was thought that the Knights Templar, one of the three great orders, had lost the Holy Land and had to withdraw to France. Besides being good at fighting wars, the Templars were even better at making money, to the point that they invented banking in Europe. Philip IV, King of France, was in their debt. When they returned to France, they brought back so much wealth that it made King Philip IV of France's eyes glazed over.
Philip IV, the King of France at the time, was a money-grubbing character who never took any religious fervor or anything to heart. In his hands, he killed at least two popes, forced the Papacy into France, and turned several succeeding popes into "Prisoners of Avignon".
So on a Friday, Philip IV suddenly ordered the arrest of all Templars in France and the confiscation of all Templar property on the grounds that they were "heretics". Immediately afterward, the Pope, who was under his control, declared that the Knights Templar were heretics and that they were all fucking faggots, one of the reasons being that they had two knights, one in front of the other, on their insignia. It was originally used to honor the two founders of the Order, but within the Inquisition's narrative, it became a symbol of the Templars getting laid en masse.
In this way, King Philip IV of France wiped out his debtors and made a fortune along the way. Of course, it was also said that the Order had been somewhat prepared at that time, so a lot of their property had been moved or hidden. That's why, to this day, there are quite a few legends in Europe about the hidden treasures of the Knights Templar.
So the French, who are the dutiful sons of God, don't really have much resistance to robbing the Church or anything. Yet another voice made everyone hesitate a bit.
"But we have just established the principle of the 'sanctity of private property' in the Declaration of Human Rights, and are we immediately going to trample on our own principles? If we can thus deprive the Church of its property today, whose turn will it be tomorrow?" Someone shouted this.
Then, everyone fell silent, and countless eyes were fixed on Bishop Talleyrand.
Bishop Talleyrand, however, seemed as if he didn't feel any pressure at all as he smiled slightly before slowly opening his mouth to ask: "Just now a gentleman mentioned the principle of the 'sanctity and inviolability of private property'. I am of course very much in favor of this principle. But I want to ask, whose private property is the church's property, anyway?"
This question was unexpected. Indeed, who is the owner of the property of the Church? Definitely not the Pope, and certainly not those bishops. If there must be an owner for it ...
"Doctrinally, the owner of the Church is God Almighty." Bishop Talleyrand continued, "But God doesn't need any worldly wealth, and anyone who thinks so is blaspheming. Also ..."
Bishop Talleyrand deliberately paused, then smiled and said, "The Declaration of Human Rights protects the rights of human beings, and God, really, is not a human being, and thus this matter is beyond the effective scope of the Declaration of Human Rights."
As soon as these words were uttered, there was a chorus of laughter from below. Condorcet pounded his hand on the table as he laughed, and Barnave laughed so hard that he missed a breath and coughed violently. Even Robespierre, who was always unsmiling, laughed.
"This guy is a genius!" Robespierre said.
"This damned heretic!" Some of the clerics gritted their teeth and cursed. But their voices lowered, and it was obvious that they had also realized that the situation today was very unfavorable to them.
'Damn it, why didn't I think of that and let this traitor steal the show.' There were also some other thoughts that bubbled up in the minds of those who wore black robes.
For anyone else to propose the idea would surely offend the Church and would make the Church, which had been relatively neutral, an enemy of the revolution. That is why legislators generally do not dare to mention such a thing. But not clergymen like Talleyrand, who, by doing so, would only divide the church, and a divided church possesses much less deterrent power. Apparently, Talleyrand sold the church in time.
"If the property of the Church belonged to God - and I personally find that idea blasphemous - as it is, then the only legitimate owners of the property of the Church would have to be all the believers. The rightful owners of all the property of the Church in France can only be the French people. That being the case, why can't the National Assembly, which represents the French people, dispose of this wealth that is rightfully ours? Why can't we use this wealth, which is rightfully ours, to serve France?" Bishop Talleyrand continued to ask.
Bishop Talleyrand was an unprecedented success, and his speeches were interrupted again and again by cheers. And his bill was swiftly passed through the legislature. That evening, this resolution and Bishop Talleyrand's speech were made known to the people of Paris through various newspapers.
When Bishop Talleyrand stepped out of his residence the next day, the crowds around him cheered him, and the various newspapers placed all sorts of fine words upon him without stint, almost praising him as the greatest saint since Jesus. Talleyrand loved the feeling that the soaring success he had longed for was already just around the corner.
Now that the problem of money has been solved for the time being, the training of his "new model army" can be put on the agenda. This side of the revolutionaries was quite short of military talent these days, and Joseph had done well enough to assist in training the National Guard in the neighborhoods prior to this to be invited once again to serve as a military instructor for the National Guard in Paris. For this reason, the Marquis de La Fayette wrote a special letter inviting Joseph to come to his house for a while.
The Marquis de La Fayette's summons was naturally inevitable at this time. And it was also much safer to go and see this hero of two worlds than it was to see Robespierre or Mara and the others. So Joseph talked about the house, got dressed, and went out the door.
Riding in a light carriage, Joseph arrived at the residence of the Marquis de La Fayette.
Today, the residence of the Marquis de La Fayette can be described as gated. Apparently, after he became the most powerful figure in France today, many people came to kiss his ass and go through his door.
Joseph handed the invitation that Lafayette had given him to the watchman, who looked at the invitation and said to Joseph, "Mr. Bonaparte, the Marquis is still in a meeting, so please follow me and wait in the side hall first."
It was the normal thing to do; in fact, the moment Joseph saw so many carriages outside Lafayette's door, he knew that he would have to wait a good while, as he feared.
A servant led Joseph into a side room. Joseph noticed that there was another man in uniform, about thirty years old, waiting there.
The servant brought Joseph in and retired with another cup of black tea.
Seeing that the servant had retired and that the middle-aged man in uniform was standing up and surveying himself with glowing eyes, he greeted him with, "How do you do, I am Joseph Bonaparte, a mathematics teacher. It is a pleasure to meet you."
The man also hastened to return the salute, "Greetings, I am Captain Lazare Carnot from the Army. I have heard your name from my teacher, Mr. Monge, and from my friend Robespierre."