"Iwamoto, stop."
"But I feel useless if I just stay in one place."
"What are you talking about, take a break! The movers are doing everything. You don't need to worry."
"Alright... It's starting to hurt anyway."
Iwamoto curls up on the futon he has just unloaded. His face is completely pale.
"Is it a bad day to move?"
"No, it's quite the opposite. It's a good day, you know why? Starting today, I'll be able to bathe by myself and at any time."
He laughs, but eyes are closing.
Iwamoto's menstruation has just started again. The pain he feels seems to be particularly intense, perhaps because it is just starting or because he overexerted himself throughout the day. I put the painkiller on the floor and pass him a glass of water.
This room will be Iwamoto's. All his personal belongings have already been brought here without any problems because, as he said, his luggage is very few.
When he first saw this apartment, he was so delighted to see the spacious blue-tiled bathroom and a bathtub. He must like taking a bath a lot. I don't think he can soak in the hot water today, but it will still feel nice to take a shower in the spacious and clean bathroom.
Iwamoto's face suddenly turns into a grimace of pain. He stands up.
"What happens?"
"It's just like that time when I went to your office... I feel like it's coming out too much."
Oh, should I help him find some towels? I open Iwamoto's backpack that has his name on it and finds a rather familiar brown paper bag.
"It's okay, you don't have to do that!" Iwamoto cries out in fright, then approaches me with a reddened face.
"Thank you, Sensei."
"Huh?"
If I'm not mistaken, this looks like the sanitary products I gave him at my office. Why does he get so nervous when I was the one who gifted them in the first place?
"Are you okay?"
But Iwamoto doesn't answer. He goes out straight to the bathroom with the paper bag and slams the door shut. Well, I guess I can't help him with that. Maybe, from his point of view, my actions are quite suspicious and make him feel uncomfortable.
Is that possible?
Anyway...
There is a lot to do around the house. I need to put away the dishes and fix the closet. I have to install the PC, wi-fi, and make sure the security alarms are working properly too. If possible, I want to tidy up Iwamoto's luggage too. But will he get mad if I touch them without his permission? Speaking of which, starting tomorrow Sunday Iwamoto said he is going to work on the construction of a new shopping mall.
Will he be okay while enduring the menstrual pain? I keep thinking about those things whilst walking all over the house that I don't realize I have already finished tidying things up.
My luggage is not as organized as Iwamoto's, but it's also very few. Never cross my mind there will come a time when I wish I have more stuff, just to decorate and make the apartment look comfortable.
Sigh...
Finish with the bookshelf and lightning, I sit on the couch in front of the newly installed TV. We chose this piece of furniture together, the strongest and widest one for two big men to sit.
The day is falling outside the window. Before I go shopping for food and essentials downtown, I call Iwamoto. I knock on his opened door room and wait until he answers in a rather hoarse voice.
"Ah, Sensei."
Iwamoto pokes his head out of the futon. He looks at me and squints his eyes as if the light outside is hurting him too much.
"I didn't think I'd fall asleep this long..."
I am relieved to see his expression softens. Apparently, the peak of pain has passed.
"Are you okay?"
"Oh, it got a lot better when I slept."
Iwamoto uncovers his body. His tight waist is glistening through his sweater and T-shirt. His skin is indeed beautiful and, before I know it, I discover myself squatting down beside him. Carelessly rubbing Iwamoto's abdomen. It is warm and swollen.
"Ah..."
Iwamoto gasps the moment I touch him, making me come back to my sense of what I am doing. How many times do I have to make the same mistake until I stop completely? I touch Iwamoto too much, too carelessly.
I am about to withdraw my hand but am startled by his voice calling me in this dimly lit room.
"Is everything okay?" He looks at me and smiles in that usual beautiful way. I can feel blood rushing to my cheeks.
"It's swollen, but it's normal."
"I'm hot."
Iwamoto is sleeping in the sunniest room on the south side, all covered up and not taking off his clothes. He smells like sweat, but why am I not bothered by it?
Iwamoto put his hand on mine. "It's better when you do it here."
It's a nice low tone... If he whispers to me in this kind of voice, I'm likely to follow whatever order he gives me.
"Do you want me to do it here?"
"It just still hurts..."
His voice is sweet tinged with laughter. I feel like I am being allowed to touch the fur of a noble beast. I crawl my middle finger over the curves of his abdominal muscles, tasting his beautiful, toned body with the whole palm of my hand.
God really, what am I doing?
"Hmm..."
Iwamoto gasps.
"What's wrong?"
"Sensei...you're really good at this."
Iwamoto praising me in things like this makes me feel even more confused. How did I get to the point where I can make someone feel comfortable just by being myself? Now, I am overwhelmed by the warmth of the man in front of me. He who I think is my valuable experience.
I have touched many pregnant women's belly, but it is a different feel with Iwamoto's skin.
"Do you do the same with your patients?"
"Not really."
Neither to patients nor to anyone else. Iwamoto laughs... I like to see him looking happy like this.
"Ah! D*mn...sorry." He suddenly rolls over and stands up again with his back on me. He breathes heavily. "Thank you Sensei, but it's hurting again..."
"Do you want to take a bath? I put soap and shampoo inside. The water is hot."
"Oh, don't you want to go in first, Sensei? I'm sure you're tired tidying up all day."
"No, that's all right. I'll bathe later. I'm going out, I need to buy some stuff."
"Okay."
"What do you want to eat?"
"I don't have much of an appetite, but...udon?"
"I understand, I'll buy udon then."
But Iwamoto stops me right before I leave the room.
"Oh, wait."
"Yes?"
"For the food."
"Come on...you don't have to give me money."
"No, please accept this. You paid all the utility bills, internet, and water, while I didn't do anything. I feel useless, stop treating me like this."
Iwamoto says it bitterly. That's right. He's not that kind of a person. I was just too excited and looking forward to moving in, that I never thought it would backfire.
"Okay, just this once."
It is a high denomination bill. I think I'll return it when he doesn't notice.
"No, it's not going to be just this once."
Iwamoto smiles, but his eyes do not.
"Okay, you'll be in charge of the food from now on."
Iwamoto finally flashes a huge smile. The beautiful smile I long for so much.
"I'm leaving."
"Come back soon."
How many years has it been since someone said that to me? I guess my colleagues, last time. My parents married too soon but divorced quickly too. My mother raised me while working as a full-time doctor, so she often dropped me off at Grandma's house. My father, meanwhile, met someone else, remarried, and started a nice new family―I bet he forgot about me. My maternal grandmother used to tell me, "Come back soon," but she died more than twenty years ago.
I am really starting to live with someone else...
I walk to the parking lot. The air outside is chilly, as if the warm, hot room I had been in until then is a lie. The sky is dark, quite a few stars are seen. Unlike my previous flat, it doesn't smell like cow dung. Next to this apartment is a park, several detached houses in the back, and small food stalls scattered on different corners. It sure is a rather quiet and comfortable residential area.
I remember Iwamoto's skin, the one I had just touched a moment ago... He and I are very different. Overcoming our characters and making concessions to each other will require extraordinary effort. But, I am happy because he told me, "Come back soon."