Paralysed
When did you start thinking I'm better?
____
Days down,
Meanwhile broken apart. He's like a broken mirror replacing each pieces even after knowing it can't be the same. Kane Williamson, currently got injured from IPL, on his knees. Report assured he'd be unavailable until World Cup. Then what rested maybe not this time. Held his sketches beneath his hand for helping himself to walk. Walk to New Zealand.
He decided to keep things at a ratio. The ratio which shows nothing out. Only he would know what if he forgets.
'Hey its alright there. I wanted you to be sure about that. I've tests in Eng you might know. Things are going well. I hope you catched up with your mom and dad already. Hope everything is going fine with you there. You didn't pick my video call. I want to see you. And tell me soon when will you be available for coming here. You know I will even die.'
He read the mail from Steve Smith. Just reply him he was doing fine, everythingis alright--- lies.
Months before,
"I don't know what it felt like with having undying feedback still on head certainly made no sense out of it. Killing it seriously I've done!" Josh Hazlewood jerks off from his anger and shouted loud. Watched some tears falls from Williamson's cheeks. Egotistically, making Hazelwood to hate those cheeks, without what he never imagined a moment, those kisses, those fondles-- being a memory. A memory sucks! "If you think so. You already came down to clear it all down. Don't you hesitate to blow it up on me, Hazy. I won't mind having it with me. If you think so You'd do it correctly I promise, I won't get bother. Not even from now, I promise," Williamson says, wiped his tears in conceal.
As it goes, never coming back
World Cup,
Smith is noticing, though Williamson always made a smile for nothing. Which was normal, so normal with everybody. He made a smile today, but today the smile wasn't HIS SMILE. It faded, it faded from his face, erased his disturbances, hide his million miseries, flies the bitter acting across from his eyes. He got himself in UK days after his email. He came for Smith though. He was smiling, making everyone feel he's all okay, making laughter all the way. Smith recognised- How come a person changed himself within few days just after their unexpected divorce? He is happy, so happy like nothing happened, like he just came here after having Hazy's hug, even though its not truth.
Days down, still haven't cleared from medical tests. The coach and other staffs announcing day by day Williamson will come back, he is coming soon after the match..... but no, there's no sign. He got injured badly. Not so far, he again got injury on his left thumb in field vs Bangladesh. He was unsure for World Cup. He got a huge fracture on thumb.
And this is luck, what we can't creat.
Before,
- Look at my eyes. You can't lie to me, Williamson
- I'm not lying. I heard about Philippe, Smith. And I'm so glad that finally Hazy is moving with someone. Don't you see how happy he looks and often time he's got another option with hesitation, what I hate the most
- Who tells you about Philippe?
- Words fly by air. No specific person needed. One thing- for me help them, Smith. It'd be better. I was better in NZ and one more thing is, try to make their relationship before end of world cup
- [Big sighs] I will do. But what if Hazy isn't ready to MOVE ON?
- HE IS-
- Did he tell you? Did another version of non-word fly across?
- Yeah. The non-word called EXPRESSION
- What kind of expression he even give? Do you actually think things go like that? You're smiling out of you miseries that doesn't mean I wouldn't catch you just because I believe the FAKE expression.
- Are you trying to convince me that he gives fake expression what I believe?
- Not Believe, JUDGE
- Seriou-
- I am. You WANT Hazy to move on and forget you even if he can't. Williamson, he's been paralysed since you left him alone. I know it is like an imagination to you. I also know deep down you feel it too. [Stands up, leaving] just don't say any word. And yeah, I'm not gonna help THEM.
- Smith!
________________________
This is not, what is nothing.
Hazlewood is thinking what he never does. Maybe he should go and said a sorry. Watching the television, NZ vs BAN match is running live. Williamson got hurt by a throwing ball by Shanto. He is watching- the medical team comes and bandaged his left thumb, suddenly he realised- Williamson is a lefty. He can't do anything with his right hand without batting. As there were no protection under his gloves, he needs an ex-Ray. He left the field after the over ended. He got tears coming, he holds it, didn't let fall. He closes his eyes and feel--- months ago he was there, feeding him like a little child, poured his late on little round 5 oz. mug, covered him with his soft duvet, kissed his forhead, holds him against his shoulder and rested his head on his chest, never lets him sleep on the pillow. He always holds him while sleeping--- he slowly opens his eyes, felt his wet cheeks. He got injured badly, he even can't move his thumb. How'd he eat? How'd be cover himself with duvet? Hazy is thinking and exhales a deep long breath.
Hours later,
'Just come Hazy. Everyone is here with him. If you come I'd confirm him that you come for seeing him. Don't you get it? Come, Hazy.'
'I am telling you. Months later, don't think it was a chance I missed now I want it back. Okay? Don't think.'
Hazlewood is seeing two messages from Smith. Smith was there with Williamson in his hotel room. Hazy wants to go... maybe he can't.
_______________________
"Keep resting. I will go after you sleep." Smith says to Williamson. He was reading a book, so quitely. Hazy doesn't like him reading books much often. But things are changed- he'd completed 4 books reading!
Smith shocked when he heard a knock. Goosebumps! The two before knocks were from Carey and Latham. Lol! Carey went to open the door. Minutes after, Smith glanced at the side to look who the bloke! He's surprised, a 440 bolt passes his mind- Hazy! Hazy rushes back and hugs Williamson! Before even that, he wasn't looking at him. Williamson didn't get sense that Hazy actually comes. He just Hugged him- more passionately- his tears again come. Smith Stands apart, watching Williamson is looking at him. He got emotional also but Williamson got stranged. Which was normal. He didn't hold Hazy back. He just expresses out nothing. Smith winks him to hold and accept the way, not a consideration. For him, as best friends. Williamson tried to release Hazy but couldn't. He even didn't want to. He wanted to ask- Why Hazy? What do you want? What happened with Philippe? He died! When did you start thinking I'm better? I'm not better. Just get the fuck out of here and hug that bitch. Go. What's wrong with you? -- But he couldn't tell. He couldn't express. His mouth got cold, his heart started beating. Maybe decades later- that exact beat- he feels when Hazy hugs him. "Hazy!" He said. Still trying to release him. Hazy is holding, said- "Can you forgive me?" Knows it's a stupid way to ask. "I can." He said but not with a wanting face. He said for Smith, who's looking at him.
Days later,
- Hazy, I'm not better. That's not the way-
- Shhh! I know. This is not the way to reach. It'd be harder. But I survived.
- What about Philippe?
- What about you? Did I tell you I want him? Did I tell you I stop loving you? Just don't compare. I never let you.
- But-
- Shh! Come [He extends his hands to hold him like old days]
Williamson comes, even he doesn't want, but did. He holds him and closed his eyes. Hazy gives a deep breath down to settle that moment forever.
.....