I wish I could
Since 2019 to 2023, Things are perfectly punishing...
Doesn't know the end
Couldn't catch the Beginning
Approximately, it hadn't arrived yet. But the Feeling is torturing...
'Hey Archer. Promise me you will never Leave me?' Archer is thinking, Smiles wiredly, knows the Fucking Hurt, say to himself, "I wish I could SAY- 'Promise me Tom, You won't let me to LEAVE YOU'. I wish I would say that Tom!" Mortified for himself. That Emotion is finishing him insidely.
Physically he isn't strong, Mentally he isn't supporting, overall Bad Time has started in his life. "Don't know what mistakes I have done," Smiles all the time after saying the lines from Hurt.
_____________________
"You know how things will gonna be changed? You have no idea either. You're bustard! You think I AM LIER hah! I ain't.. Look at me, look at me, I didn't force you to STAY, I even didn't Ask ARCHER. I DIDNT! [Tears Appears] How could you put someone OVER ME? hah! Don't you know I CAN NOTICE EVERYTHING? I know you don't care if Your not having me, again." Tom says emotionally. "Don't say these things to meh. I know, Sometimes someone done mistakes. And just let me you to know, I didn't put anyone over you, Tom. You know I can't!" Archer says. "I don't know what I know, Archer. I'm begging you DONT LEAVE ME, Please. Don't..." He say with folded hands and requesting, "Give me a chance? Don't I deserve? Don't leave me?" Archer isn't looking at him, he is disappointed but says, "I wish I could." Tom is shockly looking at him and could hold his tears to fall apart while watching him Go... Cried heartily, Breaths Deeply.
Since When Archer Left him, he lost himself totally. He even can't take things normally. He had done a mistake- what had turned to a CURSE. Through all the ups and downs, Tom somehow finds a way to live Alone. Maybe he is okay, okay with whatever he has now. He never asked Archer to come back again further. "Maybe he is staying happy without me. Of course, he is Fine."
Tom, sometimes, Wished if Archer had come to him and forgive him. When he realise, its just an imagination, he couldn't but Cry! He just made himself Ready for Archer to Fix all the things and move on with him again... "But he isn't coming..." Tom knows!
______________________
- Tom you are looking Beautiful Today.
- Ah! Its nothing new, just weared a Plunked-
- No. I promise
- Thanks then
- Don't say IT'S FOR MEH!
- Ahm! No.
- Oh! I Expected [sad]
- [laughs; Shys]
- TOM? [changed tone]
- Yeah? [Doubts]
- If I ask you a thing would you clear me please?
- Don't say like that. Of course I will. What is it?
- I heard something about you-
- What? [Doubts]
- Would you mind if I say Directly?
- Hate those formalities, Archer.
- YOU MIGHT KNOW WHEN I SHOW 'FORMALITIES.'
- Yup!
- Let me say-
- What happened Archer? You are angry on me?
- [Holds his shoulder] LET- ME- SAY!
- Okay [Shocked]
- I've heard You, you were with, you were with SOMEONE Tom. IS IT TRUE?
- Oh- That
- AND HE WAS YOUR EX.
- Y-yeh. But-
- AND YOU DID-
- LISTEN [shouts] Yes I was. But for a work
- FOR A WORK?? [Shocked wiredly] DON'T LIE TOM! You know I can't take LIES..
- Who told you?
- IS THAT IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHO TOLD ME RATHER THAN WHO WAS IT WITH YOU? [shouts even louder]
- Hold on Archer.
- YOU KNOW I CAN'T, TOM. I CAN'T.. ALL THE SINGLE TIME. To hear you fucking pasts, finally I know You were the Coward.
- COWARD?! Coward Archer?
- Yes. You didn't even show any Respect to you Lover. And I'm your present Maybe. Right?
- [Cries] How can you say that?
- Tom you have hidden things from me. And after having me you went, you went with another guy? Tom, DO I DESERVE IT? SAY? [Emotionally]
- But I-I [sighs]
- You nothing
Since then Archer never looked back. Their Relationship broke within 5 months... Tom Couldn't say Sorry either. Those words binding a Ruthless Bond inside his Head, sometimes it Hurts; sometimes it Punished. "I know I made that Mistake and I ensured about those punishment," saying with a broken heart, "It doesn't mean I can't take those. I'm taking all the single things I deserve [Smiles], I deserve it Archer. I prayed for you to be happy and don't worry I hope you will forget me soon cz you don't deserve me. I hope you will have someone new over me..." saying with crying eyes, smiley Face.
Flashback,
Hey Tom,
Know you might be busy and Don't ask who? I don't know what I am writing...
Actually, When I heard about you I feel like I lost myself. Your Smile, Your Hair- is the most Precious thing I ever seen! I took you as mate but personally I don't know when I fall in Love with you. Don't be serious, don't throw the chit in corner, don't throw ME also...
I LOVE YOU- the only thing I wanted to tell. I can't be Normal after and before saying that so do I wrote thus to you. One thing is, I don't want any reply, if you Love me or have interest on me, I will FEEL it.
But don't say You don't LOVE ME cz I can't take LIES...
'Someone

Tom loves him also. He didn't express Directly but let Archer feels...
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Times later, when Archer felt the same thing that maybe Tom Realised. He knows he had had enough. Even he tried to move on with someone but he couldn't love him like he did Tom. He also knows the Reasons. Whatever he is having for Tom, he still keeps them inside with a barrier. That barrier, Archer even can't break! His Mind couldn't let him, never. He knows the time is coming when he will be needing nothing but TOM. 'He did a mistake' only 'a mistake' Archer feels also maybe he deserves a chance!
"I WILL GO."
11 February, 2023
Archer knows Tom was waiting for him, he doesn't want to show that but he feels.
- Tom. I know you deserved a chance but I couldn't give you
- [Gives a hurtful Smile] Don't say 'COULDN'T', you didn't Archer.
- Fine. I was out of Temper cz I couldn't take this, you know.
- [Smiles again, isn't looking at him]
- I AM SORRY, TOM.
- Why are you saying Sorry? Was it your mistake
- Isn't understanding MISTAKE, is also a Mistake. What I have done
- You did nothing wrong
- I know. But You should have trusted you also
- Trust?
- Yes.
- Do I deserve TRUST?
- You deserve Chance Tom
- Yeah. ONLY a chance
- Ye- but
- NOT TRUST!
- So you're not taking it?
- YOU KNOW I NEED THIS [Emotionally]
- [Looks at him, Breaths] Hey Tom. Don't say you don't love me, let me feel.
- I still LOVE you Archer
- Mh-hm don't say!
- [Tears fall]
- [Wiped the tears before falling]
- I know you tried to move but why you didn't? Archer!
- [Smiles widely]
- He is better than me. So why you didn't move?
- I WISH I COULD, Tom. I wish I could Love him like I did. I wish I could feel him like I did. I wish he were you, Tom!
- You deserve b-better Ar-cher [sighs]
- Don't cry. I love the Deservational Love not the Motive. You don't love me Tom? [Softly asks]
- [Finally Looks at him] I do!
- [Smiles; Gets up and Hugs him]
After eating their meal, They hold each-other in arms and let the Pain runs away to an unknown place, what isn't letting it to come back again. Their Heart Cursed it!
Archer slightly moving his hand on his Plain Hair, he loves it! Tom rests his Head on his shoulder and says, "I missed you Archer." "I couldn't FORGET you," Archer says. "Hey Archer. Promise me, you will never Leave me," Tom repeats the LINE. Archer Smiles and promised him. Archer just leans down and Kissed his temple then his Lips. Tom feels the Emotion more than Love, Times later.. it hasn't changed. "Why you don't ever try to forget me, TOM?" Archer asks. Tom looks at him and answers, "I Wish I Could."
...