Mirror
'Look at you'
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Big Bash League doesn't remain good all the time for Sydney Sixers. Though they'd become champions thrice, but their opponent Scorchers leads their way back each times. The problem has been a tension for every seniors mostly to who's changed by their teams. Moises Henriques, the Captain of Sixers, didn't let any mistakes to lead his ways in deadlines. He is the responsible one, once he sets all the things, puts all the pressure, the players have no relief until a victory, until a permanent place. They obliged Mozzie at any cost. 'Not only a professional weapon!' Sean Abbott said once. Yeah he leads the way on personal also. They know how to unravel knots, how to determine what was told.
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'Look at you,' Jimmy Peirson once told to Steketee. He kept that in mind. Whenever he stands in front of mirror, he actually looks at himself, not with the gestures, with the deficiency reflects over his entirety. The shortage he has doesn't mean the fury for disposal. He still has the courage, leads for his unfaithful life. Maybe decades later, but someday.
He maintains simplicity throughout nowadays, he was told. He certainly doesn't want to lose himself anymore since the day one broke his heart. Those screams were so loud but no one couldn't hear. Those waves were so strong, no one died....
'I don't know if it doesn't seem okay with you, I won't make my way out of it...'
..... 'I tolerated already Stek, can't you see its not suppose to be, could be bothered by you from now but I can't make, I can't make WAY since my first Love broke, I can't make a way since I didn't recognise me in the mirror....'
.... 'And maybe you're good, good more than I afford. But I can't let things go like that. Maybe today I can stand beside you to control them, but days later, I can't watch myself dieing, I can't watch myself as years ago.....'
Standing in front of mirror, raining outside, thunder is flashing through the reflection, reflecting his face lighting, when he saw himself tearing apart, alongside his eyes, takes its place. Remembering what Christian said at the time of rejection. Remembering, how he died then. It's not Mark Steketee everyone knows, it's him watching what they lost. I didn't recognise me in the mirror..... CLOSES his eyes and exhales deeply.
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'Don't tell me you love him.' He didn't even answer correctly when Peirson, his best friend, asked Steketee after Sixers vs Heat match. How could he? He doesn't even know the answer. The smile after his slot ball, when Christian was on the player mike thinking Stek would ball a yorker but didn't, he said to the commentators, 'It's a SLOT!' hitted boundary with it, would be in his unforgettable chapter. He loves his smile from wide soul, wider thought. How can he answer those questions, he had no idea. Peirson just captured his each reaction after each balls, hitted boundaries, he didn't say anything, knows he should otherwise as a Captain.
Counting days, no changes, no feedbacks... last month's last best sleep will also be in his remembrance. The last Peace, last Quietude. He used to be like nobody else, he's become new normal. Maybe what he deserves, how he looks. Currently changes things would be a pressure for newbies, he is up to with. Can't even settle his mind for Cricket, for fishing. He's lost somehow, looks down to the ocean when he got in his boat, he wanted to die. Didn't know why. Watches his reflection like a mirror in the sea, even some drops can vanish it, 'Were his feedbacks like those tears, as it vanishes me from downward?' His tears fell down in the sea and converted to the amalgamation of pain. Not even an inch of difference, he is now used to it.
- Now tell me are you insane thinking off it?
Peirson asked giving no clue for excuse.
- I'm better off-
- You can't Stek. Look at me, having feedbacks for someone is not a joke
Tried to console him over the matter, especially the misfortune.
- Listen. I'm not his type. But I CAN BE
Steketee tries to clear his head and confirms about his situation.
Peirson smiles forcefully, faked a reaction cause he knows his friend would get hurt with the true's one.
- You can be? Just Look at you. Let me tell something.
Tries again to convince, even if he doesn't care.
- Go
Shows uninterest over his face, thought Peirson is kid.
Peirson leans a bit closer, holds his hand in warm gesture and tells him not making an eye contact.
- I tried Stek. I tried my best to look over the matter, to know things about Christian, things what he belongs-
- You didn't tell me
Cutts him off as Peirson got disturbed and looks up to him.
- Don't cut me off. Let me say
Gives his feedback over him and continues
- You know Christian is a bit serious. I went to Sixer's hotel days ago for actually telling him about you. But- [stops as he reminded something, something not good] But it's not a good, I mean not a good response from him.
- What do you mean? He has got troubles from me?
Steketee questioned him and lets Jimmy to be uncomfortable a bit more what he didn't want.
- Many of the players want something else, Stek. What actually Christian is heading into.
Looks at him and didn't want an expected reaction from Steketee. He warmly says,
- Mozzie? Huh!
- Hm [sadly] how'd you know?
Puts a hurtful smile and looks beside, maybe for some fresh air, for some peace alongside.
- Only a lover can assume if his Lover loves another. I can't answer those what can only be showed, can't be said. I can't Jimmy.
Sighs a deep breath, feeling his eyes got wet, didn't want.
- Don't act like a child, Stek. Go and tell him that you love him
- HE KNOWS, he knows everything about me. I showed I told what can't be said. He even noticed but, but deep down he doesn't care. Doesn't even give me one chance. I KNOW WHAT HE BELONGS. He belongs a mirror where things aren't reflected. And Mozzie! [Sighs, tears falls] lets Mozzie be the NEW ONE. I can't be him. He throws his mirror on me. It's broken into pieces, it was my heart, he returned.
- STEK! [shouts]
- IT WAS MY HEART where he can't see himself, it was me who couldn't reflect, couldn't become perfect.
- No Stek. You're thinking it wrong
- No. Not now. Enough!
Peirson could see the unknown Steketee, couldn't recognise him from now. Maybe he didn't want, maybe he also accepted the reflection.
...