On the day of the competition, they woke me up very early. Mother stood over me with a determined face and I had barely sat up in bed when she pressed a mug of coffee into my hand. I squinted at the clock.
„What time is it?" I asked, the dream had not yet completely released me.
„It's 7 a.m." She answered. „Drink your coffee quickly, we still have a lot to do."
„A lot?" I raised my eyebrows in question.
„We're going into town. You have an appointment with the hairdresser, nail technician and beautician."
„What?" My mouth was almost hanging open, and she smiled with satisfaction.
„I already arranged everything. I want you to be beautiful when you receive the award for the winner. You have to shine inside and out. So hurry up."
„You are very confident." I mumbled and finished my mug halfway.
„Well of course." As if it were obvious. „You are my daughter, you were born a winner. You can't lose because you play the cello so beautifully. Nevertheless, I still think that you need a more serious profession."
„Mother." I sighed. We've discussed this a few times.
„You're amazing, but what if an accident happens? God forbid not. But what if for some reason you can no longer play music?" She continued to worry.
„What if we were to think about this after the accident?" I suggested it.
„Sure. Get dressed quickly." She hurried me. „We're going to be late in the end." She left me alone.
I drank the rest of my coffee and got dressed as quickly as I could at seven in the morning. When I got to the kitchen, my mother was already ready to leave, the car keys jingling in her hand.
They then took me to the city for a thorough treatment. I even got a face mask, which made my skin softer and the circles under my eyes were less noticeable afterwards.
The hairdresser artfully pinned up my hair, leaving only a few strands free around my face, which curled mischievously.
They also put on a little blush, shimmery blue eye shadow and finished off with pale pink lipstick. But before all this, my mother made me eat a thorough breakfast, as if I were 5 years old, saying that I wouldn't have time for it later.
I also got nail polish on my nails, but I didn't allow artificial nails because I was worried that it would interfere with my music. All this took a lot of time. I never thought that becoming beautiful would be such a long and tiring process. And it hurt. Not a lot and not always, but the amount of attention I got was unpleasant. I was tensed by it.
By the time we got home, it was past noon and Shannon was waiting for us. Mom and he even watched how I dressed. They made sure that neither my hair nor my makeup was ruined in the process.
The dress ended above my knees, so it showed a lot of my legs, but it was still better than being long because I could have fallen on my face in it.
Mom only wore a simple pantsuit, but Shannon dressed up in an emerald dress. She was really beautiful but sad at the same time. I hope this matter will be resolved by tonight.
Mother then also tortured Ailish and gave her a pink dress, but she went through it all smiling. Despite all the fatigue, I also enjoyed today. It's been so long since we spent so much time together. I missed them.
When everyone was ready, they put my instrument in the car and me too. They just wouldn't let me do anything. Even though I wanted to drive to distract myself a bit.
The organizers rented the grand theatre to hold the competition. The prize is recognition, a small amount of money and the chance to be discovered. For me, this last one was important. It is said that there will be some well-known musicians on the jury. Maybe I'll be discovered.. Or not. Anything can happen.
Unfortunately, we got there pretty quickly, even though I would have delayed it, but I got out of the car anyway. Rhys was already waiting for us. He was also elegant, wore a suit and he looked really stunning in it. He immediately approached me and was about to plant a light kiss on my lips.
„No, no!" Mother stopped him. „You will ruin her makeup!" She warned, to which Rhys grinned. Ever since I told her about his parents, she has looked at him differently. A little. She still didn't trust him unconditionally, but she was willing to give him a chance.
„You're beautiful." The golden dots in his eyes just sparkled. Then he looked at Shannon, Mother and Ailish. „You are all beautiful." Ailish blushed, and Shannon just laughed.
„Flattery doesn't get you anywhere." Mother narrowed her eyes, but I knew she wasn't serious. „You can't kiss her until this night is over."
„Damn! So much for my sneaky plans." He smiled at her and she returned it. „If you allow me?" He held out his arm to me. The corner of my mouth curled up and I accepted the proffered hand. We headed inside.
„Sure, I'll bring the stuff, huh?" Shannon grumbled jovially.
„I'll help you." Mother offered it and she immediately went there.
„You really are gorgeous." He said again. I looked back over my shoulder and saw that Ailish had also fallen behind.
„I suffered a lot for it."
„It was worth it." He complimented me again. „But I think I prefer your everyday self. That makes you seem so unapproachable. Like a celestial fairy queen who returns to the stars at the end of the night and leaves me here. And I don't want that, believe me."
„Wow!" I looked at him in surprise. I don't think many men say that these days, or ever.
„I practised a lot in front of the mirror." I knew it wasn't like that. Not the type to practice ahead. „But it's true. I don't want you to be unavailable."
„I'm not." I reminded him.
„I know, but... I feel like you're going to slip out of my hands."
„Isn't that what women used to say?" I teased. He laughed, but it wasn't real.
„Sometimes I feel you are very far from me." He sighed. „Don't mind me!" He asked then. „I'm a bit lethargic today, which is Édoard's fault."
„You still haven't reconciled?" I asked furrowing my brow.
„No, but he'll calm down one day." I felt it was more of a hope.
„What were you two fighting about anyway?" I didn't even know that.
„I don't want to burden you with this right now." He avoided the subject. This actually meant that they were arguing over me, but I left it at that for now. „Just focus on the competition." He didn't say anything more, but he didn't take his eyes off me."
„What is it?" I asked when I couldn't take the silence anymore.
„I want to kiss you." He confessed.
„Well, mother can't see us now." I whispered leaning closer to him. His eyes lit up. Then he was so close to me that he could touch his lips to mine. Softly, gently, as easily as breathing and painfully sweetly. And the next moment it was over.
„Good luck kiss." He grinned mischievously at me.
„Shaelynn!" Shannon approached. „I was already beginning to think that you had hidden somewhere where you could be alone for a bit." She winked at us but spoke quietly so Ailish couldn't hear.
„I think it's better if we find our place." Mom also caught up with us. „And you should find your teacher and talk to her." She turned to me.
„I know all I need to know, but you're right." I sighed. „You better go, I'll be fine." Shannon and Ailish hugged me gently and Mother planted a kiss on my cheek. Rhys just smiled at me and squeezed my hand. After all, I already got my lucky kiss.
I went in search of my teacher. It wasn't hard to find her, as she was wearing one of her hideous headpieces and her voice was sharp enough to cut through everything else. She looked more excited than I felt. She was talking back and forth and gesticulating.
„This is your big chance!" She was chirping like a vulture. „And mine too! Maybe they will notice you and finally one of my students will become a star. But forgive me, my dear, I have a few more students here that I also need to talk to. Go behind the stage and check your number. It's better to be safe and double-check than to make a mistake." She didn't say anything else, she just left me there in the middle of the corridor.
Suddenly I didn't feel so good either. I swallowed hard and left. That feeling... Excited anticipation? Nausea? Panic? Hope? A desire to escape? Determination? Maybe I felt a little bit of all of them. I've never played in front of such a large audience. And my competitors were all very talented people. Which doesn't mean I'm giving up right now. If they are good, all I have to do is to be even better.
I got to the back of the stage just as the head of the jury stepped forward to give his welcome speech. I looked at the list. It's so typical that I'm the thirteenth because it's such a lucky number. But it's still better than me being the first.
The man stopped short and already called the first competitor, a boy who looked nervous. I got butterflies in my stomach and my desire to escape grew stronger. My heart was pounding as if it were a timpani and someone would have hit it.
The boy performed Saint-Saëns's Cello Concerto No. 1 superbly. Then the participants followed each other, all too quickly, until the one in front of me was standing on the stage, in front of the audience.
Then my name was called. I broke out in a cold sweat and almost certainly turned pale. Now I give a lot of people a chance to stare.
I took a deep breath and stepped forward. My cello was already set up on the stage and I went over to it. I looked around. Jesus, there are so many! I looked for my family in the crowd and luckily I found them. They looked a little excited, and a little nervous, but Rhys smiled encouragingly at me.
After the lady introduced me, I took a seat and looked at the musical accompaniment. I didn't have many opportunities to rehearse with them, but the few times I did proved how talented they were, so I had full confidence that they would help me create an amazing performance.
I inhaled deeply and touched the bow to the strings. I focused on Rhys and started. I decided to perform Matilde Capuis's work, Three Moments for cello and string orchestra in hopes that it would help to convey my feelings to him. He probably couldn't tell but I was looking at him all the way through it.
Music can mean so many and so different things. People interpret it in various ways depending on their current state of mind, experiences and feelings. That's why I found it so amazing.
I don't know exactly what the composer thought or felt, and I have no idea what she wanted to express and to whom. But I knew what I wanted to convey to him and poured my heart into it so it could be heard by him.
I wanted to tell him about my hopes for our futures and faith in our happiness. About my sadness and loneliness. About this deep sorrow inside of me that doesn't seem to want to go away. And despite all that about my joy that I was able to meet him and we could become more than strangers. I wanted to let him know how happy he made me. This is something I could not even dream of.
But even if I put my everything into my performance, I knew he couldn't understand it all. We need words but I was unsure if I could give them to him or not.
So when I finished it was bittersweet. I was happy that I could tell what I wanted but at the same time, I was a bit lethargic, knowing it couldn't get across completely.
I stood up and bowed. Applause followed and I left the stage there. I sat down on the closest free chair and took a deep breath. I survived. I felt unable to move, I just stared in front of me. The outside world did not reach me. I needed a few minutes, but it could have been several hours. Fortunately, at least my shaking stopped quickly, the adrenaline slowly left my body.
The next thing I came to was the announcement of the results. I didn't get first, second, or third place. It would have been too great if I won. I didn't have the strength for more than a disappointed sigh.
Then chaos broke out. It was impossible to find anyone in that crowd. Mother sent a text that she was waiting by our car, so I headed over there.
„What about the others?" Only Rhys was waiting in front of the parking lot, no one else.
„Your mom and sister went home. They entrusted you to me. And the last time I saw Shannon was when she and Liam were fighting." So he came anyway. He's not a dumb guy.
Rhys opened his car door and I got in.
„Where to?" He asked then after sitting behind the steering wheel.
„Where you want to." I answered and leaned back in the seat. I just wanted to rest.