BEFORE 8 YEARS.
We lived in a duplex house with three floors and we are a happy family.
Today was my birthday, and my house was full of relatives, friends, and neighbors. Both of my parents were standing on either side of me. From the time the party started until now, the smile on both of my parents' faces had not vanished; not even a second, they were beaming with happiness. My sister, who is 5 years older than me, would never miss kissing my chubby cheeks now and then, irrespective of the frown formed on my face. She was standing in a corner with her friends, chatting. I was so happy to see them like this and was so blessed to be born here.
It was the time my mom kept the cake in front of me and told me to make a wish and blow out the candle. Normally, boys of my age wish for the latest games or electronic items, but I wish my family to be this way forever. I blew out the candles, cut the cake, and gave bites to each of them. I was content with what I had now; I could say my parents were very proud of us. Until the party was over, no one could seize the smile they were wearing.
I never thought my fifth birthday would become my last happy memory as a family. After that, everything changed in our lives.
Today I am going to turn 17 years old. I am here lying on my bed, still remembering those days on my every birthday for the past 12 years. My father was an employee with the top designation in a company, and his earnings were good, which would fulfill more than we asked for. We were happy with that, and one fine day he became CEO of the same company. Suddenly, everything changed in our lives. When money started flowing, unknowingly, everything would change, and that's what happened in our family. The needs and wants of each family member changed.
At present, my dad is the successful CEO of Russell's multinational company and one of the most powerful businessmen.
According to our present status, he is expecting more and more from me, and I am trying my best every day. My mother's love was focused solely on my father. She started following him like a shadow; God knows why. If he had any meeting or any business trip without fail, my mother would accompany him. She started throwing luxurious parties to show off her richness. She completely cut the knots with her old friends, including her parents; she would visit them for sake, not out of love; my grandparents started getting sick of her behavior; out of concern, they advised my mother, but she didn't consider any advice for a second either. She had become completely blind; in her life, she gave preference to only two things: money and my dad, and both of them equally ignored us.
My sister, who loved me the most in my family, started distancing herself from me as the year passed when she started hanging out with rich kids and started attending high-end parties. Even her preference for choosing happiness changed completely when my dad gave her a black card. He was generous in the aspect of money, but it was spoiling our relationship.
Before here and there, she used to take care of how I was and what I was doing, but everything changed on that particular day when my father told her he wouldn't let her take his position no matter what, and I was the only person who would be eligible to take his position.
Like my dad, my sister wanted to be a businesswoman. It was like a slap in the face. She was the best. If anyone asks me, yes, I was nothing in front of her. She couldn't change my father's decision. She pleaded for a chance, but my father didn't budge.
From then on, she completely despised me, and even more, she started hating my shadow too. Whenever I approached her for casual talk, she always avoided me like a plague. Her answers were very simple; she would always end by saying 'yes or no'; rarely would it be beyond one word.
I can't convince my father to give her a chance; he won't budge from his decision, and my mother is no help; whatever the case, she will always be on my father's side, so in the concluding part, there is no room for discussion.
How the hell is she missing in understanding my situation and how I am accountable for my father's decision?
She started spending just like her mother, always busy in her own world, but whenever possible, I would try to talk to her, irrespective of whether she was showing an annoyed face. I would never back out of even having a small conversation. I don't want our relationship to fade because of anyone. If Maria, my sister, understood this, things would be better between us, but the way she was going, I guess it would be a long-term task.
Everyone in my family was happy: my father for being successful and powerful, my mother for throwing parties, shopping, and showing her richness, and my sister for having an unlimited card.
I was the one with deep thinking, not able to enjoy this rich life, always yearning for things that were going out of my reach. At any point, I don't want to think I am wasting my time; I don't want to give up on them.
For me, everything got worse when I came out at the age of 12. Thank God my father didn't throw me out or enroll me in any missionary school. That doesn't mean he accepted me as I am; no, he started melding me to be a perfect man.
He was expecting only one thing from me: to be successful like him and run his company. He wants me to become like him, even though I am his son, and no symptom is showing like I was, other than DNA.
He started enrolling me in more extracurricular activities, everything related to running a company, physical activities like sports, and the gym. I never complained; I complied with everything just to please my father.
I was so desperate to get my old father, and I could do anything.
I was doing everything, giving my 100% in everything, but my dad never praised me, not even once, and he was always keen on pointing out something related to me; somehow it would end up being about my sexuality.
I am a topper in my school and captain of the football team, and I learned to speak a few languages. Still, he wants more from me. His words: You are not trying enough; try harder; this is not enough. I have accepted you the way you are. This is how you are paying me back. Prove yourself to be worthy of running a billion-dollar company. I am not going to make you sit on that chair blindly unless you prove yourself.
I was giving my 100%; sometimes even more than that, I was not getting what else needed to be done so that he could accept me the way I was, which was beyond my thinking. My mom was neutral about my sexuality; she would always support my dad. My sister doesn't give a dam if it's regarding me; it's none of her business. Four members in three different directions.
I never fought back at my parents, not even once, and I never will, for sure. I want my parents to treat me as they were treated 12 years ago, at least once. Maybe if I followed their orders, they would come to the sense that our family would be normal like another family.
I have wished the same thing on every birthday for the past 12 years, but my wish has not been answered till now. The way things were going, I don't think it will come true in the next few years either, and I hope my patience won't reach its peak and I give up on them.