It was one of my weekends, and I received a call from my regular old customer, Mr. Roger Desilva, saying he was in the city and wanted to meet up.

It's been like 3 months since he called, as he was busy sorting out some personal problems, which I cared less about. Meeting up as a priority would only be fucking each other till our brains are off. He is a fucking maniac on the bed, which I loved the most about this guy. According to him, fucking first, everything next. When I received his call, a smile appeared on my face. He had become a good friend and helped me clear my debt. Nothing would come for free in this world, especially when you are at the receiving end. Everyone would try to take advantage, and he did too. In exchange, he asked what he wanted. I didn't give a second to think before saying 'yes' because most expected helping hands had backed off, the true colors of my friends revealed, but it was late when I noticed.

I reached the same hotel room as soon as he heard a knock; he didn't even bother to see who it was, and he pulled me in. The next thing we started stripping like we were carving for each other for centuries together. Every fucking time would be the same way with him. No formal gesture, nothing. As I said, fucking comes first. Soon after we 'cum' together, we took a few minutes break to catch our breath and were ready for the next round.

He positioned me from the back, near the wall, and started thrusting me. It was not like it was my first time, and he was not my only customer. Still, the pain was unbearable. So, I closed my eyes to endure the pain, but that was a bloody fucking mistake yet again. My mind filled with the same charming smile, which came like a wind. swift my world upside down, and I couldn't even blame the course of action other than enduring.

I am trying to get rid of those memories from the past 5 years in my own way. Sleeping with so many people having sex helped in removing my frustration, but not even once was successful in getting rid of that enchanting smile that haunts me every day in my dream. I was not able to make out who was winning or losing, but seeing my condition from the past 5 years for sure, he was winning, and from everything, I was able to make out only one thing: I was 'suffering silently'.

Whenever I woke up, I would always question myself about when I was going to win in getting rid of his thoughts and why I should endure everything. For sure, he had moved on successfully by throwing everything into the garbage; he has that ability. Why the hell am I failing on my end? My eyes were wet, Roger had finally 'cum', and I didn't bother about mine; customer satisfaction was the main fucking priority.

We were exhausted and lying in bed. Roger paid for my service and was begging me to spend the night with him. If it were any other day, I would have, but so many emotions started engulfing me, and I needed to be alone. Roger doesn't know anything about my history, which I intend to keep that way forever.

At last, I prepared to say goodbye. When I was at the door, he gave me a hard-core kiss. This guy always treated me as his 'wife' from the day we met. He never made me leave his place without giving me a kiss, which had no effect on me till today. He is my customer, no more or less.

Finally, I came out. The weather was good, and after inhaling the fresh air, I started walking towards my flat. The same old images started haunting me. Tears were welling up, and neither tears nor his images were getting exhausted.

The sentence he said on a fruitful night started rewinding in my mind: 'Don't worry, whenever you fall, I will always catch you; just fall.' I have been fucking falling daily for the past 5 years, hoping he would catch me at least once, which hasn't happened till today. Bloody-making haste, which he never intended to keep, a fucking bastard.

After reaching the flat, I got freshened up and didn't feel like having anything. I was lying on the bed and started thinking. Till now, I have not been able to find the answer to so many questions: do we deserve this, do I deserve this, and why do I need to go through everything? It wasn't my fucking mistake; was it necessary to include me?

He came like a wind, shifted my world upside down, and vanished without a trace.

The irony is that I can't even blame him, as we both were victims of the situation.

I have prepared my own set of plans to avenge him for what he has done to me. I have been waiting for his appearance in front of me since the day he bid me goodbye. Not even once did he show up, pull the trigger, and don't bother to check whether the person died or not. I won't make the same mistake.

I want him to come in front of me at least once. I don't want my plan to go in vain; I want him to show up once. Another day passed with the same carving.

I don't want my wish to come true. I can endure this as long as I can, but if he comes in front of me, I don't know what I am going to do.

Bloody faith, fed up with wiping my tears, my room was tired of seeing me in this vulnerable situation. I felt like dying whenever I remembered his promise. He was a bloody coward, not being able to keep his promise at least once.