My grandfather ended up beating me fifty matches in a row before he decided to call it a night. I could've kept going-- I was convinced that I could win against a grandmaster somehow.
Regardless, he didn't send me home empty-handed. Before I left his house, he gave me an audiobook about the psychology of chess, along with one that discussed chess strategy. Part of me wondered if he bought these audiobooks just for me in case I wanted to box, though that led to me wondering if my grandfather was crazy enough to think his blind grandson would've needed them one day.
I thought this whole thing was stupid; learning chess to learn boxing seemed nonsensical and a waste of time. What's next, learning checkers to play football? Nonetheless, I sat my ass down and I studied.
At school, I would listen to my audiobooks during recess and reading time. I took advanced classes, which was something my parents had to fight for, and even though they were supposedly harder than the normal classes, I usually finished my work early, so my teacher didn't mind if I listened to audiobooks in class.
Coincidentally, there was a chess club after school. I'd heard about it before, but it wasn't until then that I actually had a reason to join. I figured that I needed the practice, so I decided it would be in my best interest to join the club.
I'll never forget my first day, as soon as I walked in, I could sense everyone's sorry gazes for me, as always. I sort of had a knack for that, sensing stares despite not being able to see them; I heard this is a pretty common thing for even sighted individuals. The way the room would get quiet outside of my walking stick clicking against the ground, the whispers from those who assumed I couldn't hear them, and worst of all the way people would baby me were all indicators of how they felt. Quite frankly, it made me want to scream.
"Oh, hello there. Were you looking for the chess club?" an older woman asked me. I assumed she was the teacher of the after-school program. She seemed nice, but she was the overly nice type, which I hated more than those who were more overt with thinking I was lesser than them.
Growing up, I'd preferred it when people were insensitive. Those who acted as if I were some fragile snowflake that needed protecting were doing far more harm than any other type of person. I couldn't fault them for it though. Those types of people were just trying their best, I guess, but it's just not my thing.
"Yes ma'am. Room 365, the third door on the right side."
"That's correct! I'm glad you didn't have any trouble finding the place!"
"Why would I?" Obviously, I knew the answer, but asking people directly about what they were implying was pretty entertaining to me. The way they'd hesitate and stammer, then try to correct themselves as if I'd go home and cry if they said the wrong thing was something I found humorous.
"Oh, well... I-" she stammered and stumbled her way into trying to form a sentence before I let her off easy.
"I'm just kidding. It was actually easy to find since I have the whole school mapped out in my brain."
"That's great!" The woman's enthusiasm hadn't waned in the slightest. In fact, I think my jesting only riled her enthusiasm even more.
"Yeah... Well, I want to join. Are there still open slots?"
"Yes! Anyone is welcome! You just need a parent to sign a permission slip, but on the first day, it isn't needed. Think of it like a free trial. Go ahead and have a seat, I'll help." The teacher started to approach me, but I lifted my hand and she halted in place.
"It's okay. I'm ten years old, I know how to sit down in a chair, Mrs..." I didn't catch her name. It was likely written on the board already, but, you know.
"Mrs. Stevens! And your name is?"
"Armin Justice. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Stevens." I slowly walked toward where I couldn't sense anyone and found an open seat at the back of the classroom. I sat down and folded my walking stick before putting it on the ground and feeling around the desk.
It seemed we all had our own chess board, but the pieces seemed to be absent. I wasn't sure if there were no pieces because there was no one sitting there until I arrived or if all the boards were empty to limit distractions during whatever lessons took place.
The boards weren't as high quality as my grandfather's, being made of cheap cardboard rather than handcrafted wooden sets; basically, they were the ones you get at the grocery store for a few bucks. I guess it was to be expected considering every student had their own board.
As I felt around my desk, I could still feel the gaze of one of my classmates beside me, prompting me to turn to them and introduce myself.
"Hi, I'm Armin." I told them, extending my hand for a handshake. They hesitated for a second before introducing themself to me. "I'm Nick..." I could tell he wanted to ask something by the way his voice trailed off as he shook my hand, so I asked him, "Is something wrong?"
"Well, I was wondering if you can see or are you completely blind? My grandpa is blind but he says he can still see a little."
I smiled a little, feeling no offense from curiosity, in fact, I encouraged it. I'd rather someone ask questions than act like they were stepping around a landmine. "Completely blind. I'm just really good at knowing where I am at all times."
"Woah... How do you know where you are with just a stick?" He sounded impressed that someone like me was so independent. I was used to kids asking me questions like this, so I already had a response that I told anyone who asked.
"I have a superpower. It's like a minimap in a video game. Since all the classrooms are almost the same, I can tell where all the desks are with the same minimap."
"That's so cool! Do you have a minimap for the chess board too!?" Nick was pretty excited, however, that excitement disappeared when the voice of another kid interrupted us.
"How's a blind kid supposed to play chess? Do you expect us to go easy on him, Mrs. Stevens?"
If I had the vocabulary back then, I would've called him a little shit. Instead, I decided getting into it with this kid wasn't worth it. We'd simply settle it across the board from each other.
"Zayn! That was rude, you apologize right now!" The teacher stood up for me and I appreciated it, but I could handle this guy myself.
"It's okay, Mrs. Stevens." I told her before turning my head to face this Zayn kid. He sounded like he was an older kid, probably a fifth grader. With a name like Zayn, I had an image of what he looked like in my head. Here's a hint: He looked like an asshole.
"I don't want you to go easy on me, Zayn. I want to beat you while you give it your all." My words struck a cord, I could sense it due to the sudden change in his heartbeat. I guess he didn't take too kindly to a disabled kid claiming he could beat him at the game he was best at.
"Sure, kid. My little sister wouldn't even lose to you."
There were a few non-supportive murmurs and whispers from the other students. They knew he was being a dick, but it seemed like they were somewhat afraid of him so they kept that to themselves.
"Zayn, that's enough!" the teacher said with her voice raised. Zayn clicked his tongue and shuffled in his seat, presumably turning back to face the front of the class.
'What a loser.' I thought to myself.
After that little exchange of words, Mrs. Stevens taught us a few openers, some of which weren't in any of the books my grandfather was making me read through. After the lecture portion, we moved on to actually playing against each other with our table partners.
Nick was my partner and the two of us played a couple of matches. I won the first match but he was making such nonsensical moves that I knew he was going easy on me. After I told him that I wanted him to actually try, I couldn't even beat him a single time.
Supposedly, Zayn was by far the best, and not even the teacher could beat him. That on top of losing to Nick was humbling, but at the same time, it gave me the drive to improve. I already wanted to grind and become good enough to beat my grandfather, but that was the end goal. I needed a goal that was achievable sooner rather than later and becoming the best player in the chess club was just that.
And so, from that day on, I was prepared to dedicate my life to chess with the goal of beating Zayn before the year's end.